”All young children are naturally
at ease with their bodies.
As they grow, they are shamed by others
and become self-conscious and filled with tension.”
I look at my children – and know, this is true.
I look at myself – and know, this is true.
I look around me, at other children I know, at friends and relatives, and at complete strangers – and know, this is true.
And even worse… I help in the shaming. Often unwittingly, unknowingly… But sometimes – oh how it breaks my heart to confess to this – with my full awareness, deliberately, consciously…
Children are not self-conscious, until we – I? Society? Culture? – makes them so?! And in truth, it’s not being self-consious in itself that’s the problem, but rather that we – I? Society? Culture? – are painting a picture of what is the desired state of being, a picture that all but a few individuals would ever be able to fit into, neither physically or psychologically.
Isn’t it strange that being self-consious has negative connotations? When in reality, it should be a good thing. Being consious of my self, aware, knowing myself well, open to my inner life, my thoughts and feelings – how has that become a negative thing? Because of the comparisons? The constant comparisons we are engaged in, to the thin, tall yet voluptous and willing women and the tanned, muscular and sexy men we see all around ut (photoshopped into perfection) on billboards and commercials, in music videos and movies, but very seldom, extremely rarely, in real life, as flesh and blood people walking beside us? Not even the photoshopped-into-perfection-people look like their perfect self in real life, in flesh and blood.
What a weird world. How is this serving us – both on an individual level and as a society? Is it? How is it helping us to become resilient human beings, creating a sustainable way of life for us, our children, grand-children and generations to come? What if… instead of making our children self-consious and filled with tension, we helped them become self-consious, aware, and filled with an urge to be self-honoring. Self-honoring, this wonderful concept my coach invited into my life.
Self-honoring; Honoring my self in all manners possible – which also includes letting go of the limiting and harmful images of what a Perfect Woman and a Perfect Man is supposed to look like? Being at ease with my body – the best way I can encourage children all around me, to remain at ease with their bodies? Being at ease with my body; even though I am not, fully. Not yet. Getting there – one step at a time. Wanting to be, completely.
#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 95 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.