#blogg100

#blogg100 – All that is to come.

#blogg100 – All that is to come.

June 8, 2017
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”Every moment is a death
of all that has gone before,
and a birth
of all that is to come.”

Here I am, in a moment that is the death of the #blogg100 challenge 2017 – writing one hundred blog posts over one hundred days. Challenge completed. One hundred blog posts later, I am thrilled at the theme I picked for the challenge this year: writing about and reflecting on sentences or phrases I have read in books. I’ve blogged in English and Swedish both, and have a hard time grasping the fact that this is the last blog post of the hundred. It’s been such a joy to dive even deeper into the chosen books – finally giving myself an outlet for all the wise, witty, funny, amazing, thought provoking, beautiful and moving passages that touch me, that I mark off with a pencilled in star, exclamation mark, wiggly line, or simply by taking a snapshot of the page, saving it in my Evernote.

Here I am, in a moment that is the birth of all that is to come. I will continue to blog in this style, the way I’ve done it during the challenge, because I have so much more to reflect upon around the books I am reading. I have but skimmed the surface, with reflections on snippets from seven books I’ve read and written about in English, and nine in Swedish. It will, likely, not be a daily post, but then again, who knows what is to come…

What I do know is that just from the sixteen books I’ve referenced so far, I’ve still got material for hundreds more blog posts! There is so much wonderfully written wisdom to be had at easy access in books – those I’ve read, and those I’ve not yet opened – that I could continue on this theme forever if it would suit me. There’s so much more I also want to share in my writings, that I will not limit myself to this – but what I do notice is how my ability to be fully present to the Now, to feel, to observe, to note what happens inside as well as outside of me, is expanding. I have been enjoying the books I’ve read, unusually so, and the same goes for everything else in life as well.

Hugging my kids. Sitting on a train watching the fast-moving and beautiful vistas outside the window. The color and smell of the blooming lilacs.

Enjoying life, because I can.

lilacs

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 100 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Carefully protected delusions.

June 5, 2017
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”You always sound better inside your own head and in your dreams than you do in the cold light of the playback room. There, the way you truly sound initially lands on you like a five-hundred-pound weight. Inside your head, you’re always a little better of a singer, a little better of a guitarist and, of course, as with the layman, a little better-looking. Tape and film have no interest in the carefully protected delusions you’ve constructed to get through your day. You just have to get used to it.”

delusionsWhen it comes to how I sound, to myself, physics come into play, because the sound will of course sound differently to me, as I am speaking and singing, when it comes through the spaces of my body, the caverns of my skeleton, constituting the sounding-board that is me; and when it doesn’t. When I hear my self played back to me from a recording, the sound i s different, because then my own voice only comes to me through the normal route for outside sounds, making it into my awareness.

But when it comes to my looks… I don’t know. Something else happens. Or? Maybe physics has the answer there as well? As the perspective I have looking down at my body, automatically has me looking down at myself, somehow elongating me, I am always so surprised to see my mirror-reflection; much shorter and chubbier that what I look like from ”up here”. Makes me wonder though – is the same true also for really tall people? Do you also become surprised at how short you look in the mirror?

Regardless, the carefully protected delusions are perhaps one of the reasons why it’s a struggle – sometimes, or honestly; oftentimes, at least for me –  to be at ease with my own body?

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 97 of 100.
The book “Born to run” by Bruce Springsteen.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – At ease with my body.

June 3, 2017
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”All young children are naturallyshaming you
at ease with their bodies.
As they grow, they are shamed by others
and become self-conscious and filled with tension.”

I look at my children – and know, this is true.
I look at myself – and know, this is true.
I look around me, at other children I know, at friends and relatives, and at complete strangers – and know, this is true.
And even worse… I help in the shaming. Often unwittingly, unknowingly… But sometimes – oh how it breaks my heart to confess to this – with my full awareness, deliberately, consciously…

Children are not self-conscious, until we – I? Society? Culture? – makes them so?! And in truth, it’s not being self-consious in itself that’s the problem, but rather that we – I? Society? Culture? – are painting a picture of what is the desired state of being, a picture that all but a few individuals would ever be able to fit into, neither physically or psychologically.

Isn’t it strange that being self-consious has negative connotations? When in reality, it should be a good thing. Being consious of my self, aware, knowing myself well, open to my inner life, my thoughts and feelings – how has that become a negative thing? Because of the comparisons? The constant comparisons we are engaged in, to the thin, tall yet voluptous and willing women and the tanned, muscular and sexy men we see all around ut (photoshopped into perfection) on billboards and commercials, in music videos and movies, but very seldom, extremely rarely, in real life, as flesh and blood people walking beside us? Not even the photoshopped-into-perfection-people look like their perfect self in real life, in flesh and blood.

What a weird world. How is this serving us – both on an individual level and as a society? Is it? How is it helping us to become resilient human beings, creating a sustainable way of life for us, our children, grand-children and generations to come? What if… instead of making our children self-consious and filled with tension, we helped them become self-consious, aware, and filled with an urge to be self-honoring. Self-honoring, this wonderful concept my coach invited into my life.

Self-honoring; Honoring my self in all manners possible – which also includes letting go of the limiting and harmful images of what a Perfect Woman and a Perfect Man is supposed to look like? Being at ease with my body – the best way I can encourage children all around me, to remain at ease with their bodies? Being at ease with my body; even though I am not, fully. Not yet. Getting there – one step at a time. Wanting to be, completely.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 95 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Beyond the simple and quiet words.

June 2, 2017
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“[…] do not think that the man who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words which sometimes do you good. His life has much hardship and sadness and lags far behind you. If it were otherwise, he could never have found those words.”

multi-dimensionalI was reminded of these words by Rilke – penned in a letter to the young poet, corresponding with Rilke back and forth; letters which have been turned into the book Letters to a young poet, a book which I’ve read a couple of times, and will definitely revisit again, when the time is right – during a CoachWalk with a client. The blissed-out-and-always-happy-camper-personas that sometimes is what comes across, in interaction with someone in one form or another, I perceive as shallow and one-dimensional. And as I honestly don’t think anyone actually can be one-dimensional, I conclude that they probably aren’t, even though it seems to me, they work hard at making it appear as if they are.

Anyway. People are not one-dimensional, we are multi-dimensional, and as such, the entire spectrum of emotions is present, at one time or another. For me, it’s a deliberate choice to try to share not just a few ”happy and blissed out”-aspects of my emotional spectrum, but to share a broader range of what I face, as a soul having a human experience here on Earth. Come hell or high water, I try to let myself feel it all. Sometimes that can be very painful. And sometimes it’s bliss!

People that I, in turn, listen to, speaking words that sometimes does me good – are multi-dimensional as well. Light and shadow – co-existing and in the contrast of one against the other, I gain a sense of perspective and – sometimes – a touch of wisdom, coming to me in the form of insights. I try to listen to the words that are being said, because I do think words matter, but at the same time, I know that what’s behind the words matter even more. Sydney Banks takes it even one step further when he states that:

“Words are merely a form. Listen not to words, but to that which words attempt to convey.”

That’s what I believe was the difference that made a difference in the life of the young poet – he noticed something in the direction of the words that Rilke wrote, something that gave him the strength to carry on writing.

For me to be able to listen to that which the words are attempting to convey, I have to be open to what happens within me, while listening. Sometimes easy, sometimes hard; but as I persist, in time, it does get less and less hard I’ve found. It’s as if I’m fine-tuning my ability to listen beyond the words, picking up on smaller and smaller nuances, getting to know myself on a deeper level. Beyond the simple and quiet words.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 94 of 100.
A mash-up of the book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke and “The missing link” by Sydney Banks.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – You are not.

May 31, 2017
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”You may feel alone,
and separated,
and powerless.
But you are not.”

At times… it can feel like I am.
Alone.
Separated.
Powerless.

But it is, as always, a feeling, stemming from a thought. And thoughts aren’t Truth, to be taken at face value. Thoughts are thoughts, and like some of the more obviously ridiculous ones, all thoughts can be treated with a bit of a distance. Look at them, while asking yourself How does this serve me?

Taking thoughts seriously is a choice I make. And as it is a choice, why not be deliberate in my intentions – choosing to take seriously thoughts that do serve me, rather than the ones that do not?

you are notThis does not mean I do not feel alone. Separated. Sad. Angry. Upset, grieving, confused. Any and all shapes feelings can take on – they are there. I experience them, from time to time. It simply means, that when I’m in this emotional space and place, my bigger Self often step forward, gently hugging me, telling me I’m ok, and saying Look, there’s a thought that’s making you feel really bad. How is that serving you?

Making it possible for me to not only experience, but simultaneously observe, bear witness. And, most importantly, allow me a moment of pause, to make my deliberate decision, whether or not to continue to focus on the feeling, or not.

Because.
I may feel alone, separated and powerless.
But.
I. Am. Not.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 92 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Gone for good.

May 29, 2017
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”…and then something inexplicable happened. Something great and timeless and beautiful and confounding just disappeared. Something was gone… gone for good.”

Death can cause great, timeless, beautiful and confounding things disappear. These words are written to describe what happened in the room when Clarence Clemons died. But great, timeless, beautiful and confounding things must not be fellow humans. It can be other things, any thing, of great and timeless beauty; a thing that, one day, is simply gone.

The MeYouWe of a relationship that suddenly shifts, inexplicably, whenever Me or You shift to our core. Making the MeYouWe transform and turn into something else, a totally new entity. An unknown, making it’s first rounds of the world, not certain of its place in time and space. Wanted? Not wanted?

The desperation when Me or You try to hold on, try to make the ghost of MeYouWe rise again, take form, reappear as it were… even though that is not possible. Not once a Me or a You have made a profound transformation.

It. Is. Not. Possible.
MeYouWe as it was, is no more.
A new MeYouWe might emerge. Or not. Because BoldomaticPost_People-come-into-our-lives-fopeople come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime, as someone wise once told me – I’ve forgotten when and from whom I learned of it. The words have stayed with me, and have granted me release when looking back at long lost relationships, where for one reason or another, the MeYouWe that existed – suddenly, inexplicably – disappeared, however great, timeless, beautiful and confounding it may have been. Gone. Be it for a reason or a season, off it went.

Silently, within the confines of my inner dialogue, softly, I whisper to myself: people come into my life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And I cannot know which, until it becomes apparent. Friends for life; suddenly no longer a part of my day-to-day existence, however unimaginable that notion might have seemed. With gratitude, warmth, and love for what was, I can let go, in order to let come… a new friend? A new love? Never knowing, and not needing to know, if this will be the commencement of a relationship of a reason – a season – or lifetime.

It will be. Either one. And that’s as it should be.
And then something inexplicable might happen…

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 90 of 100.
The book “Born to run” by Bruce Springsteen.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – The hidden life of trees.

May 27, 2017
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This book, written in a wonderfully gentle and inviting way, is making me gasp, drop my jaw and realize the extent of my (and our!) ignorance. I simply did not know… and neither, likely, do you. Did you know that trees can taste? Smell? Feel? Communicate with their peers? That they collaborate in the most amazing manner, both within their own species, but also with other species – especially fungi – and  even with other tree species at times?

“I encourage you to look around where you live. What dramas are being played out in wooded areas you can explore? How are commerce and survival balanced in the forests and woodlands you know? This book is a lens to help you take a closer look at what you might have taken for granted. Slow down, breathe deep, and look around. What can you hear? What do you see? How do you feel?”

He writes about trees, wooded areas and forests… and it made my recent visit to a forest quite different compared to previous visits – as I looked around me, trying to take in all of the activities happening around me, activities I was blind to before. Most of which are actually invisible to the eye, and yet, knowing about them made the forest around me buzz in a way I’ve never experience before.

Dalby Söderskog

All the while I’m thinking of trees, I also hear Wohlleben talking directly to me. Asking me to take a deeper look at life, my life; my hidden life?

“This book is a lens to help you take a closer look at what you might have taken for granted. Slow down, breathe deep, and look around. What can you hear? What do you see? How do you feel?”

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 88 of 100.
The book “The hidden life of trees” by Peter Wohlleben.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Two to tango.

May 26, 2017
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”Battles require two parties.
One fighting alone soon tires.”

In the same way that it takes two to tango, right?!

But oh, can this be a tough nut to crack. Actually trying to live it is not the easiest, that’s for sure. I gather it’s not just the situation at hand that makes it hard to choose my battles wisely, it’s so much more.

History – what I’ve experienced before, in similar situations; what I thought then and how that made me feel.

Preconceived notions, about child-rearing and parenthood, about being a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a colleague, boss, friend.

The ingrained patterns I’ve picked up along the way, making for quick and easy shortcuts from stimuli to full on battle in the blink of an eyelid… before I’ve had a chance to collect my wits and ask myself: what serves me here? What’s the best me to bring to the situation? And if I cannot, what can I do to pause this before anyone gets hurt?

battlingBut once in a while, I manage to disengage – or not engage at all to begin with – from an ongoing fight, and yes, it’s quite amazing what happens when the tension is released. Because that’s what battling requires – two (or more) parties exerting tension; one pushing, the other shoving; one shouting, the other shouting louder; one throwing a punch, the other dodging, getting ready to throw a punch of his or her own. When I use my energy for something other than battling you;  no longer applying the tension that helps you define your position – both of us has a chance to get a new perspective upon the situation we’re in. And then… anything can happen!

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 87 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Changed.

May 22, 2017
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“We could easily be made to believe that nothing had happened, and yet we have been changed, as a house is changed into which a guest has entered.”

Do you notice how you change? Day by day, year by year, and finally, decade by decade?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice how I change over time; the change itself slips me by somehow. It’s as if I cannot put a finger on it, being too subtle a change to pinpoint. Really only obvious once I am face to face with myself, in a situation where my actions – or lack thereof – are so completely different to what I would have done in the past. Startling at times, or shocking. Sometimes I give myself a great big self-hug, so pleased at the apparent change.

changeThe other day, texting with dear and close friends, I realized that one significant change in me, is how I’ve come to accept what is, to a degee that I never have before. When I talk to clients about my current understanding of acceptance, I show it, physically. Not accepting, I stand, turning backwards, and fight what is. Spend all my energy trying to un-make what is, which never works, by the way. It is a futile war waged against the past, trying to undo what has already occurred. With acceptance, I turn, facing ahead, knowing what is is, using my energy more deliberately, to create and to instigate a change that I am attracted to and excited about.

The difference this has caused in how I experience my life, is so grand I don’t know what words to use to describe it. A large part of it is the energy-conservation – not wasting my energy fighting what is. With the energy not spent in futility, the possibility for creation is… ripe, apparent, infinite? Always and already, creation is right there at my fingertips; anything can happen, anytime.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 83 of 100.
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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Music as medicine

May 21, 2017
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I listen to podcasts in the Overcast-app. However, since the beginning of the year, the app won’t update, so I can not access any new podcasts. Instead of trouble-shoot and solve it (I even think I know why it stopped updating…), I’ve been listening to some of my favorite podcasts instead, over and over again. I’ve been listening many times over to my favorite Swedish podcast series with Per Johansson and Eric Schüldt, but as those are in Swedish, I won’t be writing about them (here). Without a doubt, my favorite podcast show, all categories, is – and if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, this will not come as a surprise to you – On Being with Krista Tippett.

Craig Minowa is the lead-singer of Cloud Cult, a band I’d never heard before I listened to the conversation Music and the ritual of performance at On Being.

After experiencing a personal tragedy, Craig used music as medicine, to get himself through the experience. He says that music is…BoldomaticPost_music-as-medicine

”[…] Something very, very spiritual and sacred. If you look at the history of music, for the vast majority of time, people have used music as medicine, or as a connection to the divine, and as a very, very sacred tool.”

If you are anything like me, you’re nodding your head, going Oh, yeah, tell me about it! I can’t even begin to count the number of times when music was my savior in bad times! But music is not just medicine for bad times, it can easily add innumerable levels to the highest of mental states of wellbeing. Not to mention the sensations of creating music – alone or together!

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one
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