Reflection

Center of your own soul

Headspace-hiccup

August 4, 2017
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headspace from 800+ to 1As I did my daily morning Headspace-meditation, my runstreak was reset from 800+ days to 1. Oh well. Perhaps I forgot yesterday? I might well have. Thing is, I can’t check. The Headspace-app allows me to see my Headspace-journey, but only what sessions I’ve done in which order, not the time/date for each (or at least, the last one). I know I did my 800th meditation in a row on Tuesday because I screenshotted and Instagrammed that joyous occation. I did the same today (less joyous though it might have been), and figure I will simply get back on the horse, but have a small nagging sensation of having done a quick Restore-session yesterday morning as well, so I sent off a rambling email to Headspace Support.

I’ve been meaning to email Headspace since the new update anyway, asking for a time/date-stamp and point out the oddity of their rewards-system which I don’t think is in sync with what seems resonable to be the general aim of Headspace (getting people to meditate, daily. Period.), so I added that (that’s the rambling part) to my general question:

Hi,
My Runstreak was reset today and I have a faint memory of doing a quick Restore-session yesterday (ie Thursday the 3rd of August). However as its still n o t possible to get the time stamp in my Journey (please add this! A feature like that in iMessage or Messenger – hold and time/date appears) I wonder if it was actually the 2nd that I did the last session previous to my quicky today (restore Friday 4th).

The o n l y good thing about having lost my runstreak of 800 days is that I will actually get some rewards again – you do Realize you are actually rewarding people for not keeping to their runstreak by sending out give-away-headspace for 15-30-90 etc up to 365 days and then zip, nada, zilch. And I don’t even get a Goal for my efforts. Oh well. Going slightly off topic here but as I wrote I might as well give you what’s in my mind. The old buddy-visual was better than the new one also, but thanks for re-adding buddy-runstreak at least.

Hoping to hear from you,
Helena

A while ago, I got into my head thinking “how awful it would be if I lost my pretty and long Headspace runstreak, which is so much moore impressive than it was last time I lost it“, so even though I bothered with sending the email, I am not upset, but rather am quite happy at observing my reaction at seeing the number 1 in my runstreak: Oh well. I must have forgotten to Headspace yesterday.

Not beating myself up. Not blaming myself for being stupid to loose my runstreak. Nothing of the sort. Just a simple “Oh well”, knowing it doesn’t really mean anything. I will continue doing my Headspace, because I like giving myself the gift of a few minutes that are mine, solely mine, each day.

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Being gentle to me – Reflection July ’17

July 31, 2017
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Being gentle to me, this past month, as been a lot about going with the flow.

It’s summertime.
There’s less assignments from clients.
Kids are off from school.

Paper borderSo I am doing that which I feel like doing, and not doing the rest.
Going on short excursions, overnight or just for the day.

Reading books I want to read – so I am. Loads of them! Going for walks I want to take – so I do. Same with the occasional run.

Haven’t felt like blogging this past week – so I haven’t. Before that, I did, daily.

Borrowed a steamer and got rid of the (very ugly) paper border in the dining room, that we just never got around to removing before. That was satisfyingly hard work, as was the hedge trimming (more like a massacre really) I did together with the neighbors.

Brought the guitar with me to my mom’s place, but have only played once so far. Will simply add dates at the end of my original 60 day-streak to make up for not playing daily.

Not putting any guilt trips on me, for that which I’m avoiding. I just am. Same goes with that which I am doing. I just am.

Welcome to my writings, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. I reflect on a monthly basis on what that means to me, in the moment, and this is one of those reflections. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future reflections.

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A Plastic Ocean

July 22, 2017
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Ziplocked berriesThis past week we’ve been hard at work picking all the berries from the garden. Red and black currants, raspberries and gooseberries. Today we finished off the last of it – with the possible exception of raspberries, we might get another liter or two from the garden with a bit of luck (and sunshine). As I was taking care of all the berries, bagging them and preparing them for the freezer, I watched the documentary A Plastic Ocean.

Far from a feel-good-documentary, but well worth the watch. But honestly, sometimes it get’s too much, hearing about horrendous amounts of harm the human species is capable of. Tonight was one of those nights, making me almost paralyzed with the futility of even making the smallest of efforts.

And yet, as I was bagging my berries in Ziploc plastic bags, I know that these are bags that will be reused, over and over again. Because I do reuse all the plastic bags I use (and they aren’t that many to be honest), after washing them out, having them dry off in the dish rack. I do make that effort, and gladly at that. Living in Malmö in Sweden, I also know that once the Ziploc bags are torn and I will throw them in the trash, they will go to the city incinerator, which generates a lot of heat for heating houses in town. Probably not the best idea anyway, burning plastic is far from ideal, but hopefully it will stay clear of becoming micro plastic in the oceans at least.

If you’ve yet to watch A Plastic Ocean, please do!

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Souls connecting

July 20, 2017
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Today I’ve spent the day walking in Christiania in Copenhagen with Anna and Becka, two ladies I would not know were it not for social media. Becky likes to tell the story of how she, three years ago, on her first day on Twitter, a total newbie, managed to send off a tweet, which I picked up on and immediately replied with a question if she’d like to guest blog for #skolvåren (aka #schoolspring) and the rest is history as they say. We’ve been friends ever since. But as she’s a Swedish lady living in Mexico (a Swexican!) we’ve not had an opportunity before now to meet in the flesh.Christiania

Becka and Anna also hooked up via social media, and Becka hooked me and Anna up… and yes, as you might surmise, the rest is history there as well! Me and Anna have met a number of times, as we live fairly close to each other, but today way the first time we each met Becka.Three friends meeting up in the flesh

It’s quite amazing how deep a connection can become between friends, without meeting physically. And then, when the opportunity arises to actually do meet up in the flesh – it just feels so natural, easy, like old friends meeting up after a long time apart. The connections made online deepen the connection possible upon meeting physically – this I’ve experienced time and time again, and it never ceases to amaze me. So now I sit here reflecting upon the day, with the wonderful taste of the Mexican drinking chocolate gifted to me by Becka in my mouth, and a warm happy feeling within.Mexican Chocolate

Across oceans, continents, time zones – souls connect regardless!

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I stand accused

July 14, 2017
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I realize how difficult it is to be human together, to relate to one another, especially when language and culture creates barriers that make us falter, stumble, thread carefully, for fear of harming, of confusing, of misunderstanding.

It’s not a great feeling, to be accused of wrong-doing. But each is entitled to their view, and as their experiences are shaped by their current state-of-mind, I am the first to see beyond my initial reaction, and spot the world view underlying the accusation.

standing accusedKnowing I don’t set out to harm, to expose, to do wrong. I don’t. I might do it, anyway, because of my own fallibility, exposed to situations new to me, unsure of what’s the best route ahead. Finding my way, slowly, as if I was stepping barefoot into a stream, threading on sharp rocks, carefully making my way forward. Sometimes needing to retrace my steps, because the path ahead turned out to be a dead-end, filled with sharp stones I cannot make my way across. Hurting, cold water, cuts and bruises from the stones, and yet. I keep on walking. There’s nothing else to do. I have come to far to turn back, and yet, I have not come far enough to actually see the light at the end… Not knowing what my next step is, I pause, gather myself, and while exhaling, gently feel my way forward, inch by inch, all the while trying, still, to stick to my core value: wanting to make a positive imprint, to make a difference. 

The older I get the more I realize the importance of grounding myself in what that means. For me. Finding out, by trial and error, what it entails. How I do it. How do I make a difference? How do I make a positive imprint? Learning from my mistakes, fine-tuning actions and intentions, being ever more precise in my language, minimizing the risk for mishaps and misunderstandings. But never seizing to act. Never to stop doing, for fear of doing wrong, of standing accused. I’d rather do, and be accused, than not do, and risk ending up at the end of life, regretting what I did not do, when I could have; regretting not speaking my truth, when I had the opportunity.

So here I stand, accused, knowing I would do it again if I had the chance.
I might do it slightly different, but not for the fear of being accused of wrong-doing, but for what I have learned in the process.

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Governed by irony?

July 13, 2017
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BoldomaticPost_Do-not-let-yourself-be-govern“Do not let yourself be governed by [irony], especially not in unproductive moments.”

I’ve just written a piece, that might just be overfilled with irony. Perhaps that’s why I haven’t published it, but rather sent it to a select few, asking their opinion, whether or not I should.

The fact that I am not immediately pressing publish in WordPress, is answer enough though, and sure thing, I don’t have to wait long for my friends to revert with wise input, giving me food for thought.

“Seek for the depth of things: there irony never descends.”

I will heed Rainer Maria Rilke, and take my text at least one step deeper, possibly two. Sleeping on it will surely help. And then we’ll just have to wait and see whether it will see the light of day. Or not?

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you:
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.

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Going with the flow

July 12, 2017
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I haven’t officially declared myself as having started my summer vacation, but more or less, I have stopped working for the summer. Being self-employed with the type of assignments that I take on, I am fairly free to schedule my work the way it suits me best, so since the kids left school for the summer mid-June, I have been taking it fairly easy. Work wise, that is.

But yesterday was one of those days where everything just flowed, from one task to another, and as I seem to have loads of energy at the moment, I am just going with the flow.

Allotment aisle cleared of weedsIt started off (after blogging and doing my daily Seven of course) with a date at the allotment, where we cleared away the final patch of weeds, to return the plot to the city, as we are no longer interested in keeping it on. Last week we weeded the entire plot, and just had the aisle outside to clear up as well. Done deed. Felt good!

Got home, and immediately brought out the vacuum cleaner as there had been an accident in the kitchen involving a glass bowl breaking apart. Started to vacuum, and figured I might as well do the entire house. So I did. And while I was in cleaning mode, I took the time to clean the toilet, bathroom and laundry room as well.

Then I had some lunch out in the garden, reading the paper, before I decided to go to the library to return and borrow some books. So I took a long barefoot walk, enjoying the lovely summer weather. As I got close to home, the neighbor texted, saying she’d started to cut our shared hedge out front, and hoped I would be ok with it, as she’d been quite drastic in reducing the height of it. I got home, and high fived her, as we’d been about to suggest to trim it quite a lot, giving it a complete make-over, and the height was just what I would have suggested. As she was hard at work, it seemed fitting I joined her. So I did. Hours upon hours of hedge-trimming, interspersed with a Swedish fika at the neighbors to regain some strength for completing the job.

The hedge make-over

Managed to convice my daughter to make dinner for us, and as she was busy in the kitchen, I finished trimming the hedge from my side, just getting done when dinner was served. All in all, I would say the hedge has been reduced by half both in height and width! Give it a few weeks, and it will be all green again. grass cuttings

Earlier in the day, another neighbor a couple of blocks away, texted asking if I wanted some grass cuttings (the best fertilizer for the garden!), so after dinner, I rode my bike over there, took the wheelbarrow filled with grass cuttings for a walk, dumped it in my yard (that’s on todays agenda, to distribute it evenly in my garden where appropriate) and walked back, before taking my bike home again.

Absolutely beat, I just had one more thing on my daily-to-do-list: my twenty minutes of guitar playing. Got that over and done with (it’s coming along nicely I can tell you!) and then plonked down in the sofa, for a while, before dragging my tired body up to bed.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had too much sleep, as I’ve been severely bitten by whatever tiny winged creature resides in the hedge, all over my body, so I’ve been tossing and turning, itching like crazy, all night. So perhaps, today will be a day of gentler and less strenous flow?

Unless the neighbor decides to rent a trailer to haul all the hedge branches to the recycling station, because then I will join her in that endeavor as well, getting rid of the huge pile currently residing on my drive way. On the neighbor front lawn it looks as if there’s two hedges, so there’s plenty to haul away, that’s for sure. But compared to what got done yesterday, getting rid of it all will surely feel like a breeze.

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An absolute paradise.

July 7, 2017
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”In the symbiotic community of the forest, not only trees but also shrubs and grasses – and possibly all plant species – exchange information this way. However, when we step into farm fields, the vegetation becomes very quiet. Thanks to selective breeding, our cultivated plats have, for the most part, lost their ability to communicate above or below ground – you could say they are deaf and dumb – and therefore they are prey for insect pests. That is one reason why modern agriculture uses so many pesticides.”

Friendly gardenIt is sad to think about this, how we are robbing cultivated plants of their ability to communicate. But what makes me even sadder is that somehow, we humans have truly screwed up. I mean, my garden is an absolute paradise for insects of all sorts. It is filled with flowers blooming from early spring until late fall, it’s rife with decomposing leaves and plants, with plenty of possible holes serving as nests for both bumblebees and wild bees, no pesticides of any sort enter into it, and in all manners possible it is an extremely pollinator-friendly garden.

There’s only one thing missing: The pollinators.

Sure, there’s the occasional bee (but truly, occasional, not at all to the extent we had when we first moved here thirteen years ago) and bumble bee, sometime a butterfly wisps past me, and there’s a few more flower flies and such, but to a large part: it’s not buzzing and whizzing the way 1) I want it to be and 2) it used to when we first moved here.

And as the garden itself has only gotten more and more pollinator-friendly, I come to the conclusion that the surroundings aren’t?

When will we (human beings) realize it’s not a good idea to fight against nature, but rather something which we must work with, for the good of all that reside on this planet? Will we wake up in time, you think?

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you:

The book “The hidden life of trees” by Peter Wohlleben.

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Teach a different lesson.

July 3, 2017
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BoldomaticPost_Start-today-to-teach-a-differ”Notice today how your children label things.
‘This stinks.’
‘That’s stupid.’
Don’t correct them.
Just notice and consider how they learned.
Start today to teach a different lesson.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say we are not all teachers.

We are.
All of us.

Not necessarily educated school teachers, but we are certainly all teachers of Life.

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you:
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.

 

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