Tip

Start living that way.

Start living that way.

June 22, 2017
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”Suppose you had the revolution you are talking and dreaming about. Suppose your side had won, and you had the kind of society that you wanted. How would you live, you personally, in that society? Start living that way now!” – Paul Goodman

Dream societyA few years ago, I came to this conclusion myself. For years I was dreaming of a more gentle, loving and generous society, one where the connection between one and all was encouraged and acknowledged – what Martin Luther King Jr. called the beloved community -, when suddenly it struck me: I don’t have to live my life in a state of lack anymore. I can live my life, as if the world I dream of, is already here, where there is an abundance of love, generosity and gentleness.

So I did. I started to believe in the good of each and everyone I meet, which sometimes is harder than I would like for it to be, for sure. I started to be very generous with my love, with my caring, with my gentleness. Both towards myself (and that’s possibly where it’s made the biggest impact, honestly) and towards those around me. It’s one of the best moves I’ve ever made – in part because it makes for a much sweeter experience here on earth.

So. What do you dream of? What kind of society do you paint inner pictures of, when you imagine the best possible life for yourself and the world? What’s stopping you, from living the life you would live then, starting here and now?

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you:
The book “Hope in the dark” by Rebecca Solnit.

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What am I blinding my children to?

June 18, 2017
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I’ve already recommended the entire Invisibilia-podcast series in one of these podcast recommendations, and I do suggest you listen to each and every show. But here’s a specific episode which is just mind-blowing. At the end, the hosts had me dancing in the street (was outside taking a walk while listening) as I answered YES to the question:

Do you think if we changed our expectations blind people could come to see?

The episode is called: How to become batman and centers around Daniel Kish, a blind man (since he was 13 months old) who since early age uses echolocation to get around.

BoldomaticPost_What-am-I-blinding-my-childreWhen I listen to how his mom raised him, I got really quiet, and looked deep within at how I raise and have raised my children.

Paulette Kish faced the question if she was going to raise him like a seeing child, allow him to explore his world with very few restrictions on him for blindness?

Now. My children are not physically blind. So that specific question has never been a question for me to ponder. But still, as I listen to this show, and hear the story of Daniel, and of his mother, I cannot help but wonder what I am blinding my children to, by the expectations I place upon them? And correspondingly, what am I opening them up to, by other expectations? Are these expectations intentional or unintentional from my part? How aware am I of my expectations, and the result that can spring from them?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. This one I find especially well-suited, given the similarity to the post from yesterday on What my children learn watching me?
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This is how it is for everyone.

June 15, 2017
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“Life’s energy is never static. It is as shifting, fluid, changing as the weather. Sometimes we like how we are feeling, sometimes we don’t. Then we like it again. Then we don’t. Happy and sad, comfortable and uncomfortable alternate continually. This is how it is for everyone.”

I’ve written many times about just this. The ever-changing nature of the human experience, and how the realization that this is what it’s like to live on earth as a human being, has changed my life. It has broadened my experience of life, giving me room to be; To fully experience each and every emotion and feeling that comes upon me – creeping up? Crashing down? All of it! – with less desire to be rid of it, to get through to the other side, to stop feeling what I am feeling and feel something else, something better, sweeter, softer, instead. No. I feel. I hurt, grieve, rage and despair. But also heal, rejoice, laugh and swoon. Neither feeling better or worse than the other. Some of them easier to be in than others, but neither of them bad or wrong, as feelings go. They simply are.

Sixten the dogJust before, I was in a state of confusion. Right now – hungry. Getting ready to get out of bed, do my morning Seven, take a shower, make myself my morning green smoothie and be in town at ten o’clock, a thirty minute bike ride to get there, with the added To-do of having to take Sixten the dog (we are dogsitting for a few days) on a walk before I take off, I am now starting to feel a bit pressed for time…

Because life’s energy is never static. It is as shifting, fluid, changing as the weather. Sometimes we like how we are feeling, sometimes we don’t. Then we like it again. Then we don’t. Happy and sad, comfortable and uncomfortable alternate continually. This is how it is for everyone.

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you: The book “Taking the leap – Freeing ourselves from old habits and fears” by Pema Chödrön

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Speaking my truth

June 11, 2017
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Rather than solve my issue with my podcast-player, I’ve started to listen to podcasts in another app, and hence, have a backlog of episodes to listen to from my favorite podcast shows, such as On Being and Good Life Project. Pressed play on the GLP-show with Glennon Doyle Melton, and felt now and again as if she’s speaking my thoughts, my feelings, my fears, my beliefs and wishes. She is, in many ways, speaking my truth. How odd! And cool, at the same time.

elderberry flowersThis is one of those times I wish GLP had transcripts of their shows, so I could serve you up a number of those hitting-me-straight-in-the-heart quotes by Glennon, but alas… I simply hope you will do what I did, and listen. I went elderberry flower-picking this evening, to make cordial, and had Glennon and Jonathan Fields accompany me.

She gives me cause to reflect upon relationships, on writing, on intimacy and being transparent, and about doing the next right thing, without explaining myself to others. And as I cannot stop myself from pressing play once again, here are a few snippets that speaks to me:

Relationships are hard work, because they make us face our stuff. 

I wanna figure out how to be my most intimate self with my most intimate relationships.

To do the next right thing and then not explain myself. The first step is to do it without first asking for permission, or consensus. […] The most bad-ass thing that a woman can do is just not explain herself.

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 
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The Road to Tyranny

June 4, 2017
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Halfway through my second time listening to Sam Harris in conversation with Timothy Snyder on The Road to Tyranny, I order his book On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century at my local library, ending up number four in line having reserved it. Happy it won’t be that long before I get my hands on it – at the same time, I wish many more people would be queuing to read it, because I believe this is a book we need to read. All of us.

As I listen to Sam and Timothy talk about lesson number one “Do not obey in advance” I shudder at the risk at hand in many countries right now. The overwhelming sensation I pick up on is an againstness – being against muslims and jews, against women and LGBTQ, being against people of color and migrants, being against vegetarians and vegans, being against… anything really, anything that in any small way differs from oneself.

BoldomaticPost_It-s-about-getting-you-into-tAnd this scares me. A lot.

On a personal note, I realized years ago, that I am not a con-person, but rather a pro-person. I do not gain energy to create change from being against something, I get energy from being for something. Perhaps because it actually requires more of Me – being For something, I have to look within, finding that which I truly want to see more of in the world – I see many more people around me being against.

In newspapers, radio, TV, on the news (which I am not watching by the way, and haven’t for twenty years now) as well as in my social media feeds. Now – I’ve curated my social media feeds carefully, so I have a lot more friends who are for, rather than against. This is deliberate on my point, as what I focus on is what I’m telling my brain is important, making me get more and more of that which I focus on. So I am carefully tending my “mental diet”, ensuring that what I take in, sustains me in a good way.

But then, when I read editorials in the biggest newspapers of Sweden, normalizing language that a few years back would only be voiced by extremist political parties… I shiver at the danger we are all in. I understand, fully, the importance of making my voice heard in ways possible for me. And more importantly, using my voice, not being against, but being for! In all ways, living that which I want to see more of; Martin Luther King’s vision of a beloved community.

I don’t normally put pressure on you, my dear reader, to actually listen to the podcasts I link to. This time around, I will. Please, listen to Sam Harris and Timothy Snyder. After that, it’s up to you. I know what I will be doing more of, what I will be doing less of, and above all, I’ll be eagerly awaiting a message from the library, telling me to come pick up Timothy Snyder’s book.

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 

 

 

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Beyond the regrets of the dying

May 28, 2017
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regretsPodcast-Sunday. Yet again. And I don’t know what to write about, what to recommend. Not because there’s not a lot of options – I have listened to hundreds of podcast episodes I’d gladly share with you, on any given day. But today, I am feeling vulnerable, naked, bared to the bones. And I don’t know how to match my sentiment with a podcast recommendation… something I don’t have to do. But I want to. Truly. So after giving it some thought, I gift you with Bronnie Ware on Good Life Project: Beyond the 5 regrets of the dying.

*deep sigh*

I think I’ll just leave it at that… no, wait, I don’t want to send you off to listen to Bronnie Ware and Jonathan Fields with a sense of despair and possible pending doom.

*taking a deep breath, gathering strength*

Perhaps you’ve heard of Bronnie Ware, the palliative carer who tended many dying people, and finally sat down to write about their top regrets, and the lessons Bronnie learned from their lives. It went viral, with good cause. The top five regrets were as follows:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is not what the conversation centers on though. You can read the blog post, or the book, if you want to delve deeper into these regrets, and possibly take stock of your life, and how you are faring in each of the five.

What Bronnie and Jonathan are in conversation about goes above and beyond these life lessons. Bronnie tells the story of her somewhat unusual childhood, sharing visions of endless dark and starry nights, of silence and empathy, and of letting come that which wants to come, which is precisely the state I am in right here, right now. Letting go, in order to let come that which wants to come.

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one.

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Love your soul

May 14, 2017
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Suddenly. It struck me.

Hey. It was Sunday the other day. And I didn’t post a podcast-tip on my blog. I did the Sunday before, I know I did. But I must have forgotten this past Sunday. Or didn’t I?

So I had to check it out. And whaddayaknow? I was right. I did forget. So here it comes, a few days late, but better late than never, as the saying goes. Podcast tip 52 out of 52 for 2015. And you know what? I have enough to have a go at another 52 weeks of tips without even listening to a single new podcast, there are so many good podcasts out there!

Martin Sheen on On Being will be be featured on this my last podcast recommendation of the 2015.

About 18-19 minutes in (in the edited version at least) Martin talks about love. About finding it, deep within ourselves, and how often we forget to look just there.

We have to look in the spot where we’re least likely to look, and that is within ourselves. And when we find that love, that presence, deep within our own personal being — and it’s not something that you can earn, or something that you can work towards. It’s just a realization of being human, of being alive, of being conscious. And that love is overwhelming. And that is the basic foundation of joy. 

Listening to this podcast… I shiver, experience a sharp intake of breath, of having my eyes opened, realizing that here is a person, a full person, with so much more depth to him than I ever imagined in my restricted and prejudiced mind. Amazing.I love it. I love having my eyes opened to the extraordinary ordinariness of another human being, and slowly, slowly, I notice I look at my fellow human beings, those around me, with a more open heart, open mind, and I know. I know there is more to this person – to every person – than meets the eye. Because there always is. It is wonderful. Imagine the marvel of it, the joy of glimpsing the soul, the onlyness, and it will never end. There are more souls out there for me to glimpse than I will ever be able to actually experience.

I close my eyes.
Feel myself twirling around and around.
On an old-fashined merry-go-round, round and round.
Knowing whenever I open my eyes, there will be a completely unique human being there to meet, to get a soul-glimpse of, to befriend and love.love your soul

Knowing I am also one.
A complete human being.
With more to me than meets the eye.
Someone for me to meet, to get a soul-glimpse of, to befriend and love.

Opening my eyes.
Look around me.
Look within me.
There’s love. All over.
Inside me. Outside of me.
Overwhelming.
Absolute joy.

We look high, we look low, we look afar and we – might – look close.
But how often do we actually look within ourselves for Love?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

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The wisdom of tenderness

May 7, 2017
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I can’t help it. Here’s another On Being-episode that I so hope you will listen to. Krista Tippett in a conversation with Jean Vanier, an episode recorded in 2007 when he was 79 years old. Jean is the founder of L’Arche, just having celebrated it’s 50th anniversary, hence the re-broadcast of the interview. And I am grateful for that, since I might not have discovered this particular episode in the archives of On Being otherwise.

(But there’s a thought – how many other gem’s are hidden in the archives? I might just set my mind to listening through all of On Being, every episode produced…. now there’s a quest!)

Being very interested and involved in the school debate and the educational system, I found this bit especially interesting to listen to:

The balance of our world frequently is seen as a question of power. That if I have more power and more knowledge, more capacity, then I can do more. […] And when you have power, we can very quickly push people down. I’m the one that knows and you don’t know, and I’m strong and I’m powerful, I have the knowledge. And this is the history of humanity. And that is all of what I’d call the whole educational system, is that we must educate people to become capable and to take their place in society. That has value, obviously. But it’s not quite the same thing as to educate people to relate, to listen, to help people to become themselves. 

BoldomaticPost_It-s-the-realization-of-how-t

There’s something to ponder, for me, and others, of whom I ask the question Why school? The reason for asking, for me, is to get people thinking about the society we create, through the whole educational system (as well as other structures, but for me, the educational system and family are the top two factors.), and if we are creating that which we want to see more of. Like Jean Vanier said, capable people taking a place in society is all fine and dandy. But then what? What else is needed/desired?

L’Arche, which centers on sharing the lives of people with intellectual disabilities, is new to me, as Jean Vanier is. I get intrigued, as I listen to what Jean speaks about, which is the thing I dream of. A world of people becoming themselves, relating and listening, sharing tenderness and love. A culture of welcoming. To and of all.

Fascinating to listen to the wisdom of tenderness this old gentleman has, towards life, all of it, regardless. And to hear him speak of growing older, and absolutely loving it. Witnessing the increasing frailty of his own body, being in total acceptance that his mind no longer can keep up as it used to, that his body demands an afternoon nap and so on. It’s just pure love. Magnificent.

What if…. I met the world from the wisdom of tenderness? What if…. we all did?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 
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Impossible not to have an impact

April 30, 2017
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Julia Butterfly Hill interviewed by Chris Martenson on Peak Prosperity is am amazing podcast that I sincerely propose that you listen to.

You can find it on iTunes or here (where you will also find a transcript of the podcast if you’d rather read): https://www.peakprosperity.com/podcast/85294/julia-butterfly-hill-living-meaning

When I listen to podcasts and stumble upon a gem, I usually make a screen dump on my phone (since I basically only listen to podcasts via my smart phone), and Julia had me screen dump all of eight times. I will not tell you about all of these hidden diamonds at once though.

Julia said something which made me stop, breathe, take in and totally accept what she was talking about, when it comes to having an impact. This is what she said:

… because no choice happens in a vacuum, it is not only spiritually impossible, it is scientifically impossible to make no difference. And we need to deeply get that.

It is actually impossible as a person on the planet today to make no difference, to have no impact. And so the question: “Can I make a difference?” It is a myth, it is a lie, it perpetuates a disease of disconnect. It makes sure that we are good consumers. It makes sure that we feel disempowered. When we get that every single choice makes a difference, because it is impossible to make no difference, we actually realize that seven billion of us and growing are activists. We are all actively changing the world, even if we do not see the impact of that choice.

And so the question stops being, “Can one person make a difference?” And the question then becomes, “Okay, I do make a difference. What kind of a difference do I want to make with the gift of my life? What am I committed to seeing in the world? And how can I have my life be a contribution to that?” So it is not “can I make a difference?” It is “I do make a difference.” And we need to deeply, deeply, deeply get that.

Now, given the recent election to the European Parliament, and the hopelessness that I can see as a result of these results, really getting it, that I, that You, have an impact, I think is a huge factor in turning towards a feeling of hope, rather than numbing hopelessness.

20140527-105302-39182451.jpg

Can you see how it is impossible for you not to make a difference in the world?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations.
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The strange beauty of humanity

April 23, 2017
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I have more than enough podcast recommendations on my old (and now purely Swedish) blog to take me through each and every Sunday of 2017, and then some. It’s the easiest thing to do as well, to dig up an old blog post recommending one of the many many podcast episodes I’ve written about and still vividly remember and treasure, and simply repost it here.

At the same time, there are so many podcast episodes I’ve not yet blogged about, episodes I am re-listening to over and over again, and in a weird fashion have too much to reflect upon for them ever to make it here. So I vow to myself not to take the easy road today, but dig deep and pull up one of those rich and profoundly important episodes, and to present it to you.

So I give you BJ Miller on On Being with Krista Tippett, an episode entitled: Reframing Our Relationship to That We Don’t Control.

Strange behaviorsBJ knows what he’s talking about, as his life most definitely turned upside down in his college years.

I’ve probably listened to this show five times or so. Fascinated by the joie de vivre so apparent in his entire being, by his love for design and the aesthetics of life, as well as his understanding of life and death and how they relate to one another.

He says: […] I worry, sometimes, that we exist in such a narrow bandwidth of accepted behaviors and thoughts that we really clip off so much of the strange beauty that can be part of the human experience.

What would happen if we embraced the strange beauty of the human experience instead of limiting it?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 
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