Tip

Strands of neediness.

Strands of neediness.

August 15, 2017
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Half of a yellow sun“For a brief irrational moment, she wished she could walk away from him. Then she wished, more rationally, that she could love him without needing him. Need gave him power without his trying; need was the choicelessness she often felt around him.”

The tangled mess of love entwined in strands of neediness; strands that can be as smooth as silk, and as coarse as a fibrous hemp rope. A need that can feel soothing at times, harming at other times.

I suspect I and Olanna (the character in the book, thinking these thoughts to herself) are not the only ones familiar with this sensation. And, is it not also such, that once the aspect of need in and of one’s lover dissipates, there is a shift, a huge shift, at least on the inside?

When the choicelessness is no more, and the choice – to love, or not to love; to stay, or not to stay – is there, I reclaim my power and my world immediately doubles in size. And with that comes both great exhilaration, but also, perhaps, dread? Because having the option of choice does not always make life simpler, does it?

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you: The book “Half of a yellow sun” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

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Liberated being

August 13, 2017
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Short and sweet, another Good Life Project riff, on the word transformation and how it’s being used in the world of yoga, self-awareness and mindfulness. The term transformation, as it’s used in this crowd, really comes from is the sanskrit word/concept of jivanmukta. And jivanmukta isn’t about transformation, it’s about liberation. It translates into Liberated being.

BoldomaticPost_l-i-b-e-r-a-t-e-d-b-e-i-n-gWhen I listened to this podcast, there was a release within. A flash of lightning, an aha, that told me something I already knew, I just hadn’t put it into words. Jonathan Fields did that for me.

Liberated being – not transformed.
L i b e r a t e d !

So free yourself. Let yourself out of the cage created by and for you. Reveal what is already there, know there is nothing to transform. You don’t have to become someone else, transform into some other being, with different, better, more worthy traits and skills.

It’s all within you.

You cannot be found outside of You. You can only be found within.
So stop looking outside, thinking there’s something you can do, be, buy to find yourself. You cannot. Look inwards. Not to transform. To reveal. To get to know your true essence. To step into it, fully.

Sometimes. It scares me.
Becoming aware of my true essence, to feel, sense, notice it.
Other times, it’s the most divine experience, uplifting, hope giving, and enormously empowering. Because the power is there, within me. None else can empower me.
It’s within. I. Have. It. Already.

Let it out. Liberate it. Set it free.

It? Me!
Set me free. Let me out. Liberate myself.

Liberate thyself?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

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Releasing criticism

August 6, 2017
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During the Christmas holidays I took long solitary walks along the beaches off the coast of Vejbystrand, where my mother lives. Beautiful landscape, highly varying weather, and great podcasts to keep me company, vejbystrandwhen I didn’t feel like walking in silence.

One of the podcasts I listened to was this one, the Good Life Project-interview with Tara Sophia Mohr, who said something to the likes of this:

Feedback tells me nothing of me, and everything about the person giving it. 

And I stopped in my stride. Went back on the podcast, and listened again, and yup, that’s what she said, Tara. That the feedback she get’s tells her everything about the feedback-giver, and nothing about herself.

Wow. I giggled a little to myself, and could imagine the amount of energy I’ve wasted on fully diving headlong into someone else criticism and feedback about me – taking it for truth. Scary almost, now that I think of it.

Now, she made it clear, that just because she doesn’t believe feedback tells her something about her, that she’s not interested in hearing it. On the contrary, she’s extremely interested in it – just because it tells her so much about those she’s interacting with.

Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I listened to this episode of Good Life Project, and I think I might take my own recommendation and re-listen to it the upcoming week.

What do you make of her statement? Agree? Disagree?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

 

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Why we are here!

July 30, 2017
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Yesterday I had another one of those “Wow, this podcast is so good, I want to listen to it again, as soon as I’m done listening to it the first time around”-moments, and the podcast that made me all excited was the One You feed-episode with Glennon Doyle Melton.

I found a lot of really significant passages in the conversation in this podcast, and a few of them went straight to my heart. One of them centers on the habit we have of not sharing our vulnerability with each other. Glennon tells a story of when she wrote a post on Facebook, sharing her vulnerability in 25 bullets. The response was amazing and supportive, but also, people dared to show their vulnerability with her, after she had shown her. And she was struck by the fact that people she knew, she only really thought she knew, because there was so much pain and hard experiences in their life, that they had never shared with her. She shares her reaction to this, in the podcast:

I was pissed! Because what are we doing? Why are we even calling each other friends? We sit together and we’re talking about things that do not matter, and you’re in so much pain, and I have the same pain. This just gotta be what we’re here for: to talk about this stuff! 

hold backNow, why is it like that? Why do we barely go skin-deep? Why is it so hard to be vulnerable? Why do we hold back, from sharing our pains, losses, grievances, but also our joys, tender moments and highest wishes and dreams? And why do we believe the mind-made monsters about what will happen if we are wholehearted and vulnerable, when  in my experience, usually it’s the opposite. Yes, there will be haters, but haters will be haters, to quote Taylor Swift, and why should we (or I) let that stop me? And what I have received in love and connection on account of opening up and being vulnerable, far surpasses the “hate-responses”.

And still. I hold back. I shy away. I hold my tongue, for fear of the reaction, even though I know that if someone came to me with what I am dying to share, I would open my arms and heart and just hold a space for whomever it was who shared their vulnerability. Why don’t I think others would do the same for me? Isn’t that why we are here?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

 

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Where is away?

July 23, 2017
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I’ve written several times before about the podcast of Julia Butterfly Hill interviewed by Chris Martenson on Peak Prosperity. Find it on iTunes or here: http://www.peakprosperity.com/podcast/85294/julia-butterfly-hill-living-meaning

Here’s another part of that podcast that really hit me hard:
Unfortunately, in privileged societies, we are so disconnected from the impact of our choices. And one of the examples that I started using years ago that thankfully is now finally making it into the cultural conversation is:

When you say you are going to throw something away, where is away?

And the fact that we have that word proves how disconnected we have become because away is a place. And it is here. It might not be right in our backyard, but we all might have different houses; we share one home. There is no such thing as away. Away has people attached to it. It has places attached to it. It has animals attached to it. The fact that we think there is an “away” is a magnifying glass into how little we realize how much of a difference we truly make.

imageHonest to God, I’ve never really thought about it this way. I mean, my lifestyle has a smaller ecological footprint today that it did ten years ago, and I try to minimize it more, but still, I’ve never gone fully into the thought of AWAY not existing, of it being a place. Which of course it is!

Huh. Have to ponder that one even more I feel. And perhaps it’s time for another listen to this podcast, that really made me go Oh, Ah, Uhuh, over and over again. Did it provoke the same responses in you?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. As I was writing the post A Plastic Ocean I was reminded of Julia Butterfly Hill’s statement in the podcast interview on Peak Prosperity, when she says When you say you are going to throw something away, where is away?, and sure enough, just minutes after me thinking this, that exact point was made in the documentary as well. And it sure is a great point, for when you say you are going to throw something away, where is away?

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Soul Portrait, part two

July 18, 2017
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Today when I checked the letter box, there was a notice that I had a package to pick up. Soul Portrait in the postAs I bought (too much) yarn from Yll o Tyll  the other day, and got an email yesterday that they had sent my order, that’s what I expected. So when I saw the shop assistant bringing out a long tube, about 5 x 50 cm, my first thought was That’s a funny way to package yarn. I wonder how they got them all in there? which was followed shortly by an Ah! It’s my Soul Portrait from Vanessa! and a smile upon my face, as Vanessa manages to put beauty even into something as simple as writing my name and address.

Got home. Tore off the sticky tape at the ends. Managed to get the drawings out, and immediately rolled them out on the kitchen table, overfilled with joy: My Soul Portrait(s – Vanessa did two drawings – lucky me!).

My Soul Portrait

I will frame them and put them up on the walls somewhere in the house, that’s for sure.My Soul Portrait, number two

I still remember the feeling I had during and after the visual coaching session with Vanessa, and seeing my Soul Portrait brings it all back to me. If you are curious and want to get one of your own, get in touch with Vanessa at Crafting Connection, regardless of where in the world you live (as long as you speak either English or Spanish), as she works via SKYPE. It is, truly, an experience that I am grateful to have experienced.

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Walking to listen

July 16, 2017
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walking to listenFor me, doing most of my coaching as CoachWalks, walking outdoors with my clients, a podcast entitled Walking to listen is impossible to resist. So I press Play, and am amazed that I have not come across Andrew Forsthoefel before. Because what he speaks about – and writes about in the book with the same name – is absolute beauty.

Here’s a young man who speaks of himself as always having had the “seeds of curiosity” within him. And the way he speaks of himself, and his journey, and how he uses his curiosity to actually see – truly see! – people, has me wowed. The attention he grants people, known or unknown to him, being curious, seeing the individual, listening. Without the specifically voiced intent to gain something, but rather, wanting to give. And in giving attention, exquisite attention he calls it, of course, he is gifted something extraordinary:

Seeing them as worthy of time and attention. Worthy of their place in the world. Seeing them as if they belong, seeing them as if they might have something to offer. And asking people questions in that way, allowed them to sing songs they never even realized they had in them. And so in seeing people this way, it often had the effect of inviting them to see me that way. And when we were seeing – when there was that mutual sort of osmotic flow of respect, even reverence, you know, love is a word that can be used to describe this kind of space.

This is a podcast I’ve listened to two, three times already, with more re-listens sure to come, I am most definitely curious enough to grab a copy of his book. Watering the seeds of curiosity inherent in me, is something I’ve consciously been doing for years now, after having them be totally dormant for decades. And you know what? In the shift, from dormant to fully blossoming curiosity, I experience my life being Lived; Richer. Fuller.

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Mindblowing podcast on intelligence

July 9, 2017
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Oh. Perhaps you are getting fed up with the podcast tips I’m providing every Sunday. It’s almost solely Good Life Project or On Being that I’ve featured lately. But heck, those two shows are simply so good. Honestly, if you have yet to actually click on one of the links I’m inserting into these podcast tip blog posts, you really should give it a go.

And, yeah, of course, you’ve probably guessed by now that I’m gonna write about one of these shows today as well. And you’re right. I will. You see, I’ve been listening over and over to an extremely fascinating conversation between Krista Tippett and educator Mike Rose on the intelligence present in all kinds of work.

Mindblowing. Mike describes the intelligence of a waitress, and made me realize what a fenomenal memory many waitresses have. The intelligence of a plumber, who perhaps works in limited surroundings, making it impossible to actually see with his or her eyes what the issue is, but through the help of probing fingers and an ability to paint an internal picture, can solve it. There’s beauty and, indeed, intelligence in all the millions of different work activities that goes on, through out the day and night, all over the world.

MindblowingI’m even fascinated by my fascination over this! And I’ve got a treat saved up for myself as well. There’s an unedited version of their conversation that I’ve yet to listen to. Oh goodie!

Anyway, check it out, and please pay extra attention the last 10-15 minutes of the episode, as Mike and Krista then touch upon a topic very close to my heart, that of the purpose of education, of learning, of schooling. I usually twitterify the question as #WhySchool, and, guess how happy I got when I heard Mike speak about why he thinks it’s so important to be very clear about the purpose of schooling and education. Oh, and if you want to, please let me know what pops up for you as you listen to this episode. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topics raised in this show. Ok?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. Rereading this post as I am about to publish it, I remember the sensation of having my mind blown, more than I actually remember the conversation itself (except the waitress part, that I remember vividly), so I will take my own tip and re-listen!

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The Gift of Play

July 2, 2017
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Playing with SixtenInspired by my friend Michael Sillion I’ve started to gift people a podcast, or a blog post, or something else that I perceive to be virtual and meaningful, on their birthday. And I find that the podcast I most often feel like gifting to people, is the On Being episode with Stuart Brown “Play, Spirit and Character”.

It’s an episode which I’ve listened to many times by now, and which I will listen to many times to come as well. Stuarts voice reminds me of Martin Sheen, whose episode on On Being also is a keeper. So when I listen to Stuart, I get the added bonus of being reminded of the wisdom shared by Martin in “Spirituality of Imagination” which I have recommended in a previous blog post.

The conversation centers on the importance of play for a person to grow up, develop and blossom into a full human being. The implications of not being allowed to play during childhood, are severe, and yet, what I find so fascinating in this conversation is my joy at discovering that we are built to play throughout our lives, even “as adults”.

“… the human being really is designed biologically to play throughout the life cycle. And that, and from my standpoint as a clinician, when one really doesn’t play at all or very little in adulthood, there are consequences: rigidities, depression, lack of adaptability, no irony — you know, things that are pretty important, that enable us to cope in a world of many demands.”

Playing with PopTo engage in a little “guilt-free purposelessness” each and every day, is one of the main messages I take from this talk. Stuart also describes his experience of play as having “some sense of timelessness and freedom and purposelessness” or the more poetic description as being “outside of time”. That phrase has such a lovely ring to it, and I know just the feeling! Hoping you do too? And don’t get thrown by the word p l a y as such. There’s a lot of things that can be included in the term p l a y, so if you are engaged in an activity of any kind and experiencing being outside of time – you don’t have to look any further than that.

So play on – because life truly is meant to be a playground!

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 

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How to get good at anything!

June 25, 2017
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How, you ask, would it be possible to get good at a n y t h i n g in twenty hours? guitarThat’s the topic of this Good Life Project-rif with Jonathan Fields in conversation with Josh Kaufman, author of a book entitled The first 20 hours: How to learn anything… fast! 

I haven’t read the book, but so far have listened to the podcast three times, and right now, I am moving my hands off my computer keyboard and onto to my guitar, because I’ve just made myself a promise: I will practice playing my guitar for twenty minutes every day (aiming for late afternoon/evening to maximize learning while sleeping – yup, that’s what I wrote, learning while sleeping, however weird that might sound. Listen to the show and you’ll get why!) for the next two months, giving me twenty hours of practice before my guitar lessons start again in the fall.

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 

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