Writings

#blogg100 – Close your eyes.

#blogg100 – Close your eyes.

April 29, 2017
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“That the deaf man cannot hear
the sound of the crashing ocean
waves, or the blind man cannot
see the beauty of an autumn sky,
does not mean the sea and the
sky do not exist.

So, like the blind man, close
your eyes.

Like the deaf man, block your
ears; go inside and realize… that
which you seek has been there,
within you, all along.

This is when the blind will see
and the deaf will hear.”

crashing waves

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 60 of 100.
The book “The Missing Link” by Sydney Banks.
 Page 43.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Courage or comfort.

April 27, 2017
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Courage Comfort“We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”

And when I choose one over the other, it has consequences. Regardless of the choice, be it courage or comfort. There are always consequences to face.

Right now, I am done with the one.
It is time for me to dance to a new tune; I am choosing the other.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 58 of 100.
The book “Rising strong” by Brené Brown.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com

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Being gentle to me – Reflection April ’17

April 26, 2017
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I wonder if this last month has possibly been the month of me being the least gentle towards myself, that I’ve experienced in the past several years… A month of intense work and too little time to simply be. I haven’t been intentionally mean towards myself, not at all, but there’s been deadlines looming that have made me step into a get-it-done-mode where the soft and silent inner voice has been completely run over. Especially since I let that part of me run the show in February; a month where a lot of the work could have been done that I’ve been doing this month as a consequence.

And it’s ok. I mean, I am still fit as a fiddle, eating, sleeping (well… could do with a bit more sleep, truth be told), knitting and taking time for family gatherings, so it’s not been 100% work, far from it. And the masochist within takes some pleasure in the getting-it-done-mode also; it’s rewarding to see a delivery become more and more defined, pieces falling into place and making sense, not to mention the thrill at shipping it, only to be allowed to follow it up with an invoice for a job well done.Tired and lack-lustre

But I am tired.
Sit in the sofa yawning like crazy.
Feel lack-lustre.

It’s as if life is taking its toll, all of a sudden, and I just want to Be. Doing nothing. Throw away all ToDo’s, cancel all meetings and assignments; put life on Pause for a little while.

But I won’t. Because I don’t want to, truly.
But yes, postponing ToDo’s that are possible to postpone without serious consequences, for sure.
Saying no to meetings and or assignments that aren’t crucial, definitely.
Asking for help and assistance, as and when I need it; listening within and being open with my needs, you bet.
And stepping up for myself – hell yeah!

All in all, being gentler towards myself, supersizing on Gentleness this next month, as I replenish and recharge while simultaneously finishing off my last large assignment for the year.

Welcome to my humble abode, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. I will be reflecting on a monthly basis on what that means to me, in the moment, and this is one of those reflections. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future reflections.
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#blogg100 – The unknown.

April 24, 2017
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“…perhaps we should then bear our sorrows with greater confidence than our joys. For they are the moments when something new, something unknown, has entered into us; our feelings grow dumb with shy confusion, everything in us retires, a stillness supervenes, and the new thing that no one knows stands silent there in the midst.”

In its silence, easy to overlook, if nothing else but for the reason that we do not know it. Do not recognise it. Have no recollection of ever having met it, before.

And if we spot it, being able to let our sorrow go, in order to let this new insight come, the new, the unknown having entered into us, is not always the easiest of human feats. Letting go – to let come – isn’t. Easy, that is. The attachment, to our grief, our sorrow, to the injustices we’ve suffered; the suffering itself something we cling to, believing it defines us, makes us who we are.
Framework of me

And if it does, define us, define me, making me who I am, it is because I put that meaning upon it. It is I who am the sense-making machine, not the sorrow, nor the joy. It is the sense I make of it, the meaning I place upon it, the builds the framework of Me. A framework that can be limiting, but does not have to be.

That which makes all the difference being the level of attachment I have to it – if I am flexible to see the purpose of it, right now, right here, as is, without desperately hanging on to it tomorrow, when the need for something else is apparent, when what is, is different from what was, and hence, the access to a different framework is dependent upon myself, and my willingness to let go. Let go of that which did serve me, once, yesterday, but no longer does, today.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 55 of 100.
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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The strange beauty of humanity

April 23, 2017
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I have more than enough podcast recommendations on my old (and now purely Swedish) blog to take me through each and every Sunday of 2017, and then some. It’s the easiest thing to do as well, to dig up an old blog post recommending one of the many many podcast episodes I’ve written about and still vividly remember and treasure, and simply repost it here.

At the same time, there are so many podcast episodes I’ve not yet blogged about, episodes I am re-listening to over and over again, and in a weird fashion have too much to reflect upon for them ever to make it here. So I vow to myself not to take the easy road today, but dig deep and pull up one of those rich and profoundly important episodes, and to present it to you.

So I give you BJ Miller on On Being with Krista Tippett, an episode entitled: Reframing Our Relationship to That We Don’t Control.

Strange behaviorsBJ knows what he’s talking about, as his life most definitely turned upside down in his college years.

I’ve probably listened to this show five times or so. Fascinated by the joie de vivre so apparent in his entire being, by his love for design and the aesthetics of life, as well as his understanding of life and death and how they relate to one another.

He says: […] I worry, sometimes, that we exist in such a narrow bandwidth of accepted behaviors and thoughts that we really clip off so much of the strange beauty that can be part of the human experience.

What would happen if we embraced the strange beauty of the human experience instead of limiting it?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 
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#blogg100 – Ask it.

April 21, 2017
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“And your doubt can become a good quality if you train it. It must become aware, it must become criticism. Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proofs from it, test it, and you will perhaps find it helpless and nonplussed, perhaps also aggressive. But do not give way, demand arguments and conduct yourself thus carefully and consistently every single time, and the day will dawn when it will become, instead of a subverter, one of your best workmen, – perhaps the cleverest of all who are building at your life.”

Ask it!

Ask itOh how simple, and yet – why do I have the feeling I am not the only one to not have asked my doubt Why, nearly as much as warranted? Demanding proof of it, and thus, giving myself a chance to distance myself from it. A reprieve, making me doubt my doubt, as it were.

I simply never knew I could ask anything of it, taking it as Truth, believing all but the most outrageous statements made by it.

Honestly though, by It here, I don’t just mean my doubt, I mean all my thinking. Whatever thoughts pop into my brain, I do not have to take them at face value. I can ask how it serves me, to believe the message and take action on it. And if the answer is that it doesn’t (or for that matter, that I do not know if it serves me, which to me implies that it doesn’t), I can let it go. At that moment, my mind is truly the cleverest of workmen, building at my life.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 52 of 100.
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.

English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Too far in.

April 19, 2017
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the dip“You’re too far in to turn around and not close enough to the end to see the light.”

That could have been my sentiments today, as I reach the half-way mark of the #blogg100 challenge. For the specific challenge of daily blogging for one hundred consecutive days I am not experiencing The Dip, which is what Seth Godin calls that moment when you just cannot seem to get anywhere… when you’ve tried everything, but still feel as if you are stuck in a rut. With persistence the dip can be overcome though, and all of a sudden, you push through to the other side.

The risk you face is that it isn’t a dip at all, but rather a bottomless pit, and the trick is to know when to persevere, and when to let go. Because if you persevere with a bottomless pit, you are wasting time, energy, effort, for nothing. Well. Experience, I guess, trying to find a silver lining, but besides that, you’re better off letting go, to enable letting come… of what? Possibly the thing, that’s been eager to show up in your life, but for the fact that you’ve been so busy trying to fill that bottomless pit, blind to everything around you.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 50 of 100.
The book “Rising strong” by Brené Brown.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – For ever a beginning.

April 17, 2017
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“Do you not see, then, how everything that happens is for ever a beginning?”

What would happen if I were to live life from that standpoint for a day, a week, a year?
That everything, whatever it is, is a beginning. Of something or other.

Resigning from work. A beginning of a new – and perhaps untested – way of earning a living.
Moving house. The opportunity to get to know a new neighborhood.
Meeting and making a new friend. A whole new vista opening up before – and within – me.
Learning a new language. Perhaps falling in love with a whole culture, wanting to spend more and more time there.
Bidding a loved one farewell, perhaps from old age, disease, an accident. Pain barely bearable, and yet, a page is turned, and something new begins. Perhaps unwanted, resisted, undesired… and yet: there it is.

a new vistaEverything that happens is, for ever, a beginning, he wrote, and I wonder if I (MeYouWe?) have learned too well to hang on to what is, for fear of what might be? For fear of what new beginnings might come into fruition, beginnings into something I know nothing about, have never tried before, something which opens up a totally unknown vista before my eyes? Something that might require me to make shifts in how I live my life, shifts which impact others around me as well?

“Do you not see, then, how everything that happens is for ever a beginning?”

Yes. I do.
I simply haven’t thought about it before in quite so an all-encompassing manner, and… lo and behold, it excites me. Not frightened, but excited, I vow to put this spin on things more deliberately from now on – letting come that which wants to happen.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 48 of 100.
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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Stewardship, not disruption

April 16, 2017
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in Tip
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I’ve not followed Brain Pickings a lot, but now and again I stumble upon something coming from that site, and it’s almost always magnificent. Making me wonder, kick-starting my curiosity and often being very inspirational. Then I listened to Maria Popova of Brain Pickings in a conversation with Krista Tippett from On Being.

Guess what happened after I was finished listening? I pressed PLAY once more, and took in the entire episode once more. I believe I’ll listen to it over and over again. Because there’s so much interesting stuff in this podcast, beautiful sentences, phrases, stories about Marias grandparents, and much else. It’s hard to pick out one or two things, because it’s truly an episode worth listening to in full.

But the sentence below, which is a quote by a friend of Marias, really hit home. Perhaps because I’ve been talking about the need for personal stewardship with a friend of mine. How it’s a word, and an activity, that we seem to have forgotten, I believe.

BoldomaticPost_Culture-needs-stewardship-not

Sitting here looking at that quote “Culture needs stewardship, not disruption“, my mind took a leap. To cultivation itself. To the no-dig no-till practice of cultivation put in use by Paul and Elizabeth Kaiser, that I got so enthralled by in the Peak Prosperity podcast. They explained how disruptive it is for soil structure, and hence, for soil-living creatures such as a majority of all wild pollinators, when we dig, till and uproot plants from the ground. They work with nature, rather than against it, and boy, are they rewarded!

There’s more for me to discover here, I can sense it lurking just beneath the surface. So I’ll sit with it, letting it take its time. Sooner or later it will emerge. I won’t try to dig for it, because that would likely just disrupt the process.

Does this quote evoke anything in you?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. As I’ve just bid my soul sister Sara farewell on her journey north, I found this a fitting podcast to recommend, as Sara and I have often touched on the concept of Stewardship. Sara was, in fact, the one to bring the term to my attention a few years ago. And yes, the quote still tease me, making me want to discover more!
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#blogg100 – Generous assumptions.

April 15, 2017
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What’s the most generous assumption that I can make about his response while still acknowledging my own feelings and needs?

Brené Brown is speaking about her husband, telling a story from their marriage. Being vulnerable, and showing all her struggles, her misinterpretations, her expectations and fears.

What’s the most generous assumption that I can make about someone’s response while still acknowledging my own feelings and needs?

What a great question to carry with me, in any setting, any relationship, any conversation with a tendency to turn sour. Because here’s the stinger: it’s all make belief anyway. I mean, whatever assumption I make, I am making an assumption, i.e. making up a reason for what caused you to do what you did, or to omit to do what you should have done. Why not make that assumption as generously as possible, giving me some breathing room and most definitely putting rose-tinted glasses on? Why would I ever do the opposite? Making an assumption that puts you in the worst possible standing in front of my eyes, making you out to be the worst monster on earth – why would I do that? Causing me heartache, and sending that energy right back at you, likely causing you heartache as well.

BoldomaticPost_with-a-generous-spiritNo, better to be generous. As kind as I possibly can. I can experience being snubbed, stood up, taken for granted or any number of other feelings, all of which might hurt, in one way or another. But thinking generous thoughts about your possible reasons for doing – or omitting to doing in some cases – it, makes it less of a problem really. It takes away a lot of the hurt inside. And when I am being generous in my mind, towards you, it’s actually easier for me to act in the same manner towards myself. From that view point, it’s a lot easier, and likely much more constructive, to voice my needs and acknowledge my feelings. When I speak from my perspective, with a generous spirit, I am less likely to cast blame on others and fall into the role of the victim.

I’ll be playing around with this for a while, and I’d love for you to join me:
What’s the most generous assumption that I can make about someone’s response while still acknowledging my own feelings and needs?

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 46 of 100.
The book “Rising strong” by Brené Brown.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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