Writings

4 years and 10 months

4 years and 10 months

December 12, 2017
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Four years and ten months since I got an email from a former colleague at a new company, asking if I had time for, and was interested in working i, a specific project he had in mind.

I said yes. So for fBoldomaticPost_it-s-time-to-let-goour years and ten months I’ve been working for this project that is nearing it’s end, although not quite – but my work is done.

That’s the best part of being a consultant for me – knowing in my heart when it’s time to let go, when I’ve done what I can, when there is no longer any need for me and my services, because others have taken on the various tasks that I’ve had on my plate.

Projects tend to be learning experiences, especially the type of projects I’ve had the privilege of participating in during my years in the pharmaceutical (as well as food-packaging) industry – mainly focussed on equipment, facilities and media. (And if you go Huh, what’s she talking about? just drop me a message and I’d gladly have a conversation about my professional background!) So I’ve had four years and ten months of having a lot of fun, met some great people, got to visit Hamburg (and other parts of Germany for that matter) a number of times, have had my fair share of frustration, and all in all – to my eternal gratitude – have learnt so much!

This project has been a part-time assignment for all but a few weeks here and there, so it’s never been “all that I do” (another thing I am very grateful for – I love the diversity of what I do!). I have lots of other projects and assignments on my plate, both new and old one’s, but this project has still been a part of my work life for a long time, so letting go isn’t done without experiencing a twang of regret for what will no longer be.

On the other hand, that twang is accompanied by the bubbling anticipatory experience of letting come:
What want’s to happen now?

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How are you?

December 10, 2017
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Guess what? I have a new podcast for you this week. At long last, you might think, perhaps getting fed up with On Being, Good Life Project and One You Feed, with a few others sprinkled on top these past 42 weeks. If that is so, today is your lucky day!

I stumbled upon ProBlogger a month or two ago, and have listened to a handful of episodes. If you are into blogging and want to expand your blogging skills, I would definitely recommend that you check out the entire podcast series from ProBlogger. But this episode holds value to each and every one of us, regardless if we blog or not.

Darren Rowse goes personal, and invite his listeners to do the same, truly asking ourselves the question: How Are You?

HowAreYouIt’s a question that invites an honest look at a lot of areas of life, perhaps all. If you’re up for it. Otherwise, pick one, and go deep.

Health? Diet? Exercise?
Love? Relationships? Friends? Family?
Parenting? Hobbies? Work?

As I ask myself How are you, in general I’ve never been so well, as I am today. As far as I know, I have my health, I eat better than ever, move about daily, even though, if I’m honest – there’s a nagging sense of wanting to be stronger and have more stamina. So there’s something to look into some more. Or. Perhaps I should just get on it, instead of looking into it… I mean. I know what it takes. Knowing myself, the best way to go about it, is to make a plan. Once I commit to a plan, it seems I don’t have a hard time sticking to it. So a plan it will be.

I listened to this podcast two times, back to back, so there is something about How are you that beckons me. It’s very easy to just breeze over a question like this one, especially since in many English-speaking countries it’s a greeting phrase, and not really meant to be answered honestly. Or? I wonder if I am?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. It seems fitting, as we are nearing the end of the year, to go deep into the question posed by Darren Rowse. 

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Shared, exchanged and made available

December 5, 2017
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”During much of his long life, he was the nexus of the scientific world, writing some 50,000 letters and receiving at least double that number. Knowledge, Humboldt believed, had to be shared, exchanged and made available to everybody.”

Andrea Wulf on von HumboldtI mean. Fifty thousand letters. Whooooooa, that’s a whole lot of letters. And even though the man did indeed live a long life – living to be ninety years old – not excluding his childhood, that means writing almost two letters a day and receiving four.

But what I find even more memorable in this paragraph is the latter sentence about knowledge having to be shared, exchanged and made available to everybody.

Born in 1769 and dead in 1859, he lived quite a memorable life, Alexander von Humboldt, described in detail in the book ”The invention of nature – the adventures of Alexander von Humboldt, the lost hero of science” by Andrea Wulf, and he sure was a sucker for knowledge, amassing it as well as sharing it. That becomes abundantly clear from reading this biography, and read it I suggest you do.

I greatly enjoyed the book, and even though we discovered, in the second book discussion of the GIFTED book club, that it’s a book that can be experienced differently, most of us did enjoy the read! And for most of us, he was indeed lost, a man that had such an impact on so much of what has shaped the world as I know it today (due in large part to this belief of his, that knowledge was to be shared, exchanged and made available!)… and yet, I can honestly say I had no idea of the man and his influence.

Now I do though!

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you:
The book ”The invention of nature – the adventures of Alexander von Humboldt, the lost hero of science” by Andrea Wulf, which also happen to be the second book of The Gifted Book club, discussed November 16th 2017.

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Listen for the unknown #6

December 3, 2017
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Hope you heard something new to you in #5. Otherwise, here’s your final chance, with the sixth and final of these podcast recommendations.

I’m leaving off with one of my absolute favorite RSA Event pods that I’ve listened to a multitude of times. Scilla Elworthy was unknown to me first time I stumbled upon this talk, but she’s been nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Price so obviously she’s made her mark in the world. Listen to her making a case for Pioneering the possible.

pioneering the possible

What did you hear that you’ve never heard before?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

And honestly – I have a feeling that I shortchanged Scilla Elworthys RSA Event-pod when I first put this post out into the world (as you can see, a series of 6 podcast-tips between Christmas and New Years in 2014, all of them memorable, and still well worth a listen to!), so unlike the other times I’ve re-blogged old podcast recommendations, here’s an add-on:

Scilla’s looks remind me of my long-since dead maternal grand-mother, whom I called Momo. I loved my Momo dearly, and perhaps that’s one reason why I feel so drawn to her, when I listen to her talk?

On the other hand, perhaps it has nothing at all to do with that, and everything to do with the fact that Scilla addresses important issues – which it turns out she’s been doing her whole life – and does so with a sense of hope, encouragement, energy. There’s gusto in this lady, drive and enthusiasm, and a lot of it stem from the people she meets. All of them, Scilla as well as the change makers she refers to, are in the business of pioneering the possible. Once you listen you’ll notice that a lot of these “possibilities” are what most of us would immediately write of as completely impossible activities/goals/missions. But alas, setting out to pioneer the possible sure has a totally different ring to it than trying to combat the impossible.

Our words matter – on small and large scale alike –  and Scilla uses hers wisely.

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Being gentle to me – Reflection November ’17

December 1, 2017
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self-honoringLetting myself off the hook – allowing myself to stay attached, even though it doesn’t make sense anymore. Long after the original meaning has been lost, the decision had been made and step after step had been taken, increasing my  distance to what was once there, I still let myself be attached… until, one day, I woke up ready to let go of my attachment.

I read what I wrote in the paragraph above, and exhale and relax, knowing this is not something I would never have granted myself, had it happened 5+ years ago. What a long way I’ve come, in being gentle towards myself.

The difference that makes the difference? Self-honoring, perhaps? Learning h o w to be gentle towards myself, as well as slowly coming to terms with the fact that I deserve it, I am worthy of love and tenderness, also from myself? Learning not to take myself too seriously, and most definitely not to believe all the thoughts that come whizzing through my head?

I cannot say there’s one difference that has made the difference, rather, it’s a combination of things that all have been working in synergy, leading up to this place in time, where I know how to, and do, let myself off the hook, letting things unfold within without me pushing, prodding, persuading myself into letting go before I am ready to. No longer ripping myself apart, because I think I should this or that, making me do it, even though I’m not ready for it. No. No more. That violent behavior towards myself that was my modus operandi for years and years, for decades even, it has been – permanently I hope, trust and believe! – replaced by me practicing the art of being gentle to myself.

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Wholehearted – Reflection November ’17

November 29, 2017
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conflicting emotionsIn the last month I’ve had been in conversations with a few loved ones into topics less often broached (by me, at the very least), such as menopause and money, desire and divorce, sex and shame. All of them topics well worth a conversation or two. Or more, lots more than two.

I am, slowly and steadily, approaching these topics, and my oftentimes conflicting emotions around them. It sure helps to have people close to me whom I can discuss them with – voicing even that which I am ashamed of, in the knowledge that it will be received with grace and tenderness. I’ve chosen wisely. My loved ones are people I trust completely.

Mmm.
Just writing that last sentence brings a smile to my face, and a warmth that sweeps across my insides.

How sweet it is, to sit here, knowing deep within, that I am worthy of this.
Worthy of having people close to me, worthy of loving and being loved.

It’s not always been apparent to me, this inherent worthiness, that I share with each and every soul on earth. I know it’s not apparent to many of you either. I wish you will be converted, as I’ve been, into this words-are-unnecessary-and-couldn’t-describe-it-anyway type of knowledge – and perhaps, knowing it’s possible to go from one to the other can make a difference?

Wholeheartedly, I do my very best to embrace myself, the light and the darkness, the skills that are so easily perceived, as well as the hidden potential, yet to be uncovered. It’s there. I hide it. From me. From you. But I hide less and less. And spending time with people who do the same – show up, in their full glory of humanness – is such an inspiration. It helps me. You are my role models. From you I generate strength, passion and ideas and, most importantly, you are my invaluable sounding boards, allowing me to bounce my insecurities, fears and desires off.

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Team Underdog!

November 27, 2017
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The Center for Sustainable Change is a non-profit whose mission is to establish and support a collaborative world-wide network of individuals and groups who are introducing the understanding of MindConsciousness and Thought via locally-led community change initiatives. Since 2015, I’m on the Board of Directors of the Center, which has been quite the journey, I must say. I am the only non-American on the board at the moment, but I also believe I am the person with the least amount of experience into the world of US non-profit’s (and yes, the two are most definitely linked in my mind). Anyway, it’s time for the annual fundraiser and Terri Alamo, the new CEO formerly known to me and many others as one of the magic elf’s of Michael Neill, asked if I wanted to play Top Dog, where whoever raises the most funds for the Center will be awarded the designation of TOP DOG.

I said yes, and immediately realized I have an optimal team-name, as I truly feel like an Underdog in this contest! So, Team Underdog it is, and hey – I’d like to challenge you to help me – the underdog – become top dog! It’s simple and you can help me win this very prestigious award, support a good cause and have a bit of fun in the process in multiple ways. The first one is to donate which can be done here: https://centerforsustainablechange.org/donate. Be sure to put TEAM UNDERDOG in the comment box.

Team Underdog

I’d also be very happy if you’d help me share the message that the annual fundraiser is in full swing, and that all donations made before December 15th when the contest ends will be matched by a generous board member so even the smallest amount will make a difference, and every little bit counts a long way!

So please, help this underdog-Swede become TOP DOG in the Center for Sustainable Change Annual Fundraiser. Visit https://centerforsustainablechange.org/donate and make a donation. Put TEAM UNDERDOG in the comment box.
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Knock you upside the head with a shovel?

November 26, 2017
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I’ve written over and over again about the podcast of Julia Butterfly Hill interviewed by Chris Martenson on Peak Prosperity. Find it on iTunes or here: http://www.peakprosperity.com/podcast/85294/julia-butterfly-hill-living-meaning

I talked to you about how every so often, the way life works, sooner or later, life might pick up a shovel and knock you upside the head with it. When we get resentful, fearful, and anxious, it is like picking up the shovel and hitting ourselves back in the head with it. It does not actually pick up the shovel and use it for something constructive. It just knocks us back in the head with it. Whereas if we can shift our thoughts, we can maybe take that shovel and do something constructive with it.

Now. I know there is no way for me to control what thoughts come into my head. NO WAY! I cannot control this. However. If/When I get a “You silly twat, I’m gonna hit you over the head with a shovel“-thought into my head, what I can do is control how I react on it. When Julia say “shift your thoughts” this is how I interpret her. I don’t have to act on the thought, I don’t have to believe the thought, and I definitely don’t have to act in a way that doesn’t serve me. I can just as easily act in a way that does serve me.

It’s all thought, it’s not Truth.

I’ve become better and better at not hitting myself with said shovel. Because, you see, I used to be champion of the world in this field, for a long long time. But I realized that it’s not serving me AT ALL to hold this world championship title! So I’ve gradually learned not to go there, not to believe the “You silly twat, I’m gonna hit you over the head with a shovel“-thoughts, and more importantly, not to hang onto them. When they come, they come. Nothing I can do about that. But I have a choice in how I respond and relate to that thought.

There’s a quote by Wayne Dyer that goes like this:

You create your thoughts,
your thoughts create your intentions,
and your intensions create your reality.

Now. I agree with the two latter parts, but not the “I create my thoughts”-part. Because I don’t create them. So I’d like to rephrase:

image

So, what do you do when you get a “You silly twat, I’m gonna hit you over the head with a shovel“-thought? And does that response serve you?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

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One grain of salt

November 22, 2017
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dance walking down the street”I have tried to learn in my writing a monastic lesson I could probably not have heard otherwise: to let go of my idea of myself, to take myself with more than one grain of salt.”

Yes. The more grains of salt the better, in my experience. Learning, slowly, steadily, bit by bit, to not take myself so seriously, oh boy, what a difference that makes for the way I experience that which is my life. Allowing me to laugh at myself. Making it much easier to step up and own the responsibility of what I do – or omit to do. Asking for forgiveness, when I’ve failed someone. But also to feel, to rejoice, laugh, cry and dance my heart out, yeah, I’ll even gladly, with a smile upon my face, go dance walking down the streets of town! (That’s one link I’d love for you to check out – it will take you to YouTube, where you’ll see for yourself!)

Best of all? I know there’s so much more for me to experience as I learn to take myself with yet another grain of salt!

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you:
The book ”Echoing silence: Thomas Merton on the vocation of writing” edited by Robert Inchausti.

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Where should we begin?

November 19, 2017
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I stumble upon the podcast “Where should we begin? with Esther Perel” and all of a sudden, Esther is everywhere. I read about her here and there, friends refer to her, and she’s even a guest on “Terrible, thanks for asking”. Her book Mating in captivity is mentioned as a possible future read at the latest GIFTED book club meet up, and I can only surrender to this onslaught of synchronicity:Message from the universe

Yes – I hear you, Universe.
I am listening to her podcast.
I will pick up her book.

I get the message!

Listening to “Where should we begin? with Esther Perel” is quite the special pod-experience, unlike most other podcasts I listen to on a regular basis. Most intriguing is the way Esther surprises me, over and over again – she provides a different perspective; focussing on things I would not have thought of; she picks up on small, subtle nuances and… somehow… now and again, magic happens. There’s insight, there’s laughter, there’s a release of tension that is palpable even through the airwaves. Well worth a listen!

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one.

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