Monthly Archives October 2018

Be the change – cards and guidebook

Be the change – cards and guidebook

October 30, 2018
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Be the change – a set of cards accompanied by a guidebook, all packaged in a beautiful box. Created by Vanessa Jane Smith of Crafting Connection, a dear campfire sister and friend of mine, and I am grateful to have been a small part of the birthing process of these wonderful cards. One of the cards “is me” even… symbolically speaking.

Vanessa presents the cards thus: Here are 53 invitations to play and stretch your thinking. They will make you stop, wonder, perhaps even confuse you for a second. They will put you in a new place where new ideas can come forward. 

Funnily enough, while drawing my card of the day, number 49 Trust and Let go, the image and the message is just what I needed to see and read right now: No matter what you are faced with now, you have a choice – to maintain the present order of things or to let go and allow it to reform. […] What do you now choose to definitively move towards?

You can buy these cards for yourself (from the website or the FB-page), and I so urge you to, as they are stunning, in all ways possible! Or as Vanessa frames it:

The cards and guidebook are a gift to you to be your own expert your own leader within each moment of every day.

Shake off any judgement or struggle because this is different from anything else you’ve done before.

Pick a card, jump in, and play!

Notice what comes up in you.

Perhaps it will trigger a feeling, an answer, an idea which you can bring into the group or just ponder on for a while.

This is how you will join new dots and connect new thoughts, ideas, and feelings in a new way.

So pick a card and start playing!

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Difference is a teacher

October 27, 2018
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I want my story heard, because, ironically, I believe Picasso was right. I believe we could paint a better world, if we learned how to see it from all perspectives, as many perspectives as we possibly could. Because diversity is strength, difference is a teacher. Fear difference; you learn nothing. – Hanna Gadsby

A dear friend of mine posted a summons on Facebook to watch Nanette, by Hannah Gadsby, telling me and his other friends, to “Watch it. Thank me later.”

I watched it a few months ago, at the suggestion of my ex-husband. I watched it then, and was astonished. Nanette is sensationally good, and Hannah Gadsby nails it, over and over and over again. But as I sat down in my sofa, wrapped in woolen blankets, with a cup of hot tea with honey, trying to scare away a headcold that’s been creeping up on me, reading Caspians summons, I figured, why not watch Nanette again?

So I did.
Just as astonished. Bowled over. Nailed. Over and over and over.
There is simply no hiding from her, from her justified anger, from her story.

I am angry, and I believe I’ve got every right to be angry. But what I don’t have a right to do, is to spread anger. I don’t. Because anger, much like laughter can connect a room full of strangers, like nothing else. But anger, even if it is connected to laughter, will not relieve tension, because anger is a tension. It is a toxic, infectious tension, and it knows no other purpose than to spread blind hatred, and I want no part of it because I take my freedom of speech as a responsibility. And just because I can position myself as a victim does not make my anger constructive. It never is constructive.

Laughter is not our medicine. Stories hold our cure. Laughter is just the honey that sweetens the bitter medicine. – Hannah Gadsby

To finish off, I’ll simply quote Caspian:
Watch it. Thank me later.

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The deep democracy of open forums (book 21 of 26)

October 21, 2018
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“Today’s democracy is like an old dance. We need a new dance, a deeper democracy, based on awareness of what it happening inside ourselves and others.”

A couple of years ago, Mr D gave me The deep democracy of open forums, by Arnold Mindell, for my birthday, and for that, I am eternally grateful – now, that I’ve finally read it, that is! The thought behind the gift, any gift, always warms my heart. But reading it, I understand why he gifted me this book. Right up my alley, and most definitely a book with a lot of food for thought!

One of the ways I show up in the world these past 5-10 years or so, is making use of my heightened ability to look at things from different perspectives. I have gotten good at it, in many ways, and in different situations.

“Without some form of awareness training, within the privacy of our inner autonomy, most of us behave like tyrants. When it comes to recognizing different aspects of ourselves, we become dictators who simply refuse to do so. If we are strong, we ignore our shyness. If we are harmonious, we repress and/or deny our anger.”

And yet, reading The deep democracy of open forums, I realize there are many more aspects of “different perspectives” that I have yet to acknowledge. There so much more to become aware of, not in the least that which is not visibly present, and yet, so significant, for instance unvoiced sentiments and feelings, ghosts of the past or of those not physically present yet very much there, and so much more.

“Power is less important than awareness. If you have awareness, you do not need power. You need power only if you are fighting something. Awareness does not fight; it may notice fighting and other things happening, but it does not identify with or judge those things. When awareness is present, the spontaneous behavior of everyone is awakened and unpredictable processes emerge that are what’s best for all.”

This book has given me a deeper appreciation and understanding of the importance of taking all perspectives into consideration, on everything really, but I guess to narrow it down, it might be helpful if I say “all perspectives of conflicts”, even though, truly, my appreciation for where a heightened awareness comes in handy goes way beyond “simply conflict”. Awareness is always beneficial – even when it might not be immediately apparent.

“If you notice change, change happens. You need awareness, not power, to notice and follow the unceasing flow of change.” 


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2018, to read and blog about 26 Swedish and 26 English books, one book every week, books that I already own.

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I love these poems.

October 17, 2018
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A while ago I stumbled across Nayyirah Waheed on Instagram. She writes poems, most often short ones, that go deep in me. I cannot duck and take cover from them, they pierce me, through and through, and often leave me… at a moments pause; A pause of taking a breath, of recollecting, reminiscing, refocusing.

At long last, and enough of those significant moments on Instagram, I ordered the book at the library. Got it. Read it. Book number 75 of the year, and a book I would gladly recommend to anyone. I, for one, am a novice poetry reader, and Nayyirah Waheed writes in a way that doesn’t confuse me. I read page after page, poem after poem, word by word. I read them out loud, yet still fully within me, as I read out loud no sounds are heard… I love these poems.

 

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I love my body!

October 12, 2018
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Haven’t ever heard of Big mouth before stumbling across this video, but definitely get curious about the show watching this clip, which I greatly enjoy. Being comfortable in ones body IS beautiful, something I’ve given a lot of thought to lately. Once in a while I enjoy visiting an open-air swimming-bath, both summer and winter (a sauna and a dip in just-above-freezing water, oh that’s a thrill for body, mind and spirit alike!), and I marvel att the diversity of bodies. The variety, of shapes, sizes, colors, amounts of hair and where, the movements, energy and to what extent people are at ease, at home, in their own bodies. It’s fascinating and wonderful, and each visit has me falling more and more in love, with my own body, as well as the bodies of my fellow humans.

Your body is gorgeous, and so is mine!

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Barefoot.

October 11, 2018
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Barefoot shoes.
The best (albeit an oxymoron of grand proportions)!
Even better; barefoot for real.

It is a wonderful way to connect to what is.
Making me, without a shadow of a doubt, be extremely aware of the way my feet meet the ground, and what that ground consists of. Each step can be different.

Paved roads.
Gravel paths.
Grass. Cold from the morning dew, or warm from a hot summers day.

A muddy uphill stretch, making my toes dig in for traction.
Small pebbles hurting my feet – like stepping on Lego.
Acorns and leaves, chestnuts and broken off twigs.

Grounding myself.
Becoming more aware of what else is around me, as my feet somehow lead the way. On an adventurous exploration of my closest surroundings.

Sharpening my senses. All of them. Feeling each and every small irregularity of the ground beneath me, irregularities totally masked when wearing “normal shoes”. Noticing the birds chirping, the squirrel jumping quickly across the path up a tree, the colors of autumn – the vibrant greens, reds, yellows and browns. Orange. Black. Contrasted with the crips clear air of October – making me look up at the bluest of blue skies.

Barefoot I meet the world around me, closer, fuller. Naked. Skin on ground.
As I finish my run, my feet tingle, blood flow maximized, a sensation of being very much alive.

Dip my feet in a water bucket in the garden, jiggling them around to get rid of the worst of the remnants from my run, a leaf stuck onto of my foot, grass between my toes, and a splash of mud here and there. Surprisingly clean, honestly. The wetter the ground – like the morning dew of my run this week – the more visible it is, that I’ve actually run without shoes. On a dry summer day – my feet almost look the same before and after a run.

Regardless of when… the feeling! Incomparable. Something akin to the sensation of a winter bath after a stint in a really hot sauna. Suddenly my entire body is tingling with life, pulsating, a-knocking to remind me, it’s there.

It’s here.
Life. To be lived.
To its fullest.

 

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The Law of Light (book 20 of 26)

October 7, 2018
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The Law of Light – the secret teachings of Jesus, written by Lars Muhl. As with The O Manuscript, Lars Muhl provides me with yet another wonderful reading experience. Not as outer worldly as The O Manuscript; but most definitely a book well worth the read.

The book is… well… It contains a mix of verses out of Biblical sources paired with Lars providing explanations or perhaps rather interpretations as well as his own little gold nuggets of wisdom. The book ranges over a wide expanse, covering heavenly archetypes and mystery traditions, conscious breathing and sin, love and free will, and much much more. This is a book I already know I want to – and will! – reread. There is simply so much here that intrigues me, that resonates, that provides little glimpses into things I have barely begun to scratch the surface of.

“A person who lives entirely in the outer world without any connection to his or her inner life always ends up as a victim of loneliness and separation. Such a minus-person […] is often frustrated about the past and in constant fear of the future.”

How I can relate to that. My entire recollection of childhood centered (! Yes. Past tense. Because I can change the story I tell about my childhood experience, to best serve me and those around me.) on being left out, feeling isolated and alone, observing rather than taking part.

“Mankind has only one self. On the other hand, this self has two sides, the small, personal self and the higher, transpersonal Self. Through our free will we have, at every instant, the opportunity to choose the type of reality we desire. We can choose the small self’s limited reality, or we can raise ourselves above the personality’s pettinesses and take responsibility for our life in the creative possibilities of the great Self: NOW.”

Another verse I can relate to. Ever-so-much. The rediscovery of my Self, a journey that has lasted – consciously – for the past three years. A journey that inspires me, encourages me, expands me. At the moment, a journey leading me on a playful dance of discovering my inner Yes (and No – but my lukewarm yeses and no’s have been frequent visitors within, those aren’t my main challenges.) which also has me saying yes and no. Stating it, plain and simple, is a challenge in and of itself. But I am getting there!

“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this is of confusion.” (Matthew 5:37)


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2018, to read and blog about 26 Swedish and 26 English books, one book every week, books that I already own.

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It’s on me as well.

October 2, 2018
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Read this post on Facebook. It referred to a question asked on Twitter by Danielle Muscato:Read the replies, from both men and women.
Realized two things.
First: I know what these women are talking about.
Second: I can also relate to (commenting) men not really being in the know, because honestly, I haven’t spoken enough out my experiences to the men in my life. It’s simply not been part of the conversation.

So.
It’s on me as well. Speaking up – about the things I do to keep myself safe, without really reflecting upon them and definitely without letting on to the men around me. And I should. Because we are not mind readers, us humans. Sharing my experiences is a way to increase the likelihood of others raising their awareness of what happens to women in their circles.

So.
The other night I was filled with energy after a wonderful weekend course, and when I got home, I had dinner and afterwards took my boundless energy for a dance walk in a recreational area just across the street from my house.

It’s lit in places, and not lit in places.
I had my headphones on, playing music, singing and dancing along, as I also caught the occasional Pokemon and spun a few poke-stops (most of them placed in the unlit areas of the park).

Now and again, a jogger (all of them men for some reason) would come running from behind, having me spot them, glancing back, slightly on edge, until they had passed me by.

And as I entered the darkest path, through the arboretum, I DID consider… was this wise of me? Should I really walk through here, in pitch black woods, not knowing what might happen?

I chose to.
But also turned on my IPhone flashlight, to give ME an opportunity to spot anyone else coming on the chance of them having ominous intentions (rather than for the sake of lighting my way).

So, yeah.
I know precisely what it feels like, having an inclination towards fear and insecurity. I don’t let it stop me from taking the walk – but I do take the walk slightly on edge, truth be told. And I don’t want to. I want to be able to take this walk, without any fear in my system – because I don’t want to be ruled by fear. I want to look at people around me with a loving disposition. And I believe you would want me to look at you like that as well, don’t you?

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Bliss.

October 1, 2018
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“Female sensuality”, Helena Roth. Created at a “Paint Mandala”-class (Måla Mandala) with Lisa Withlovelisa Rislöw, the day before a weekend class on Playful tantra (Lekfull tantra), given by Charlotte Cronquist, the following reflection written after day one.

Presence.
Closeness.

Finding me.
In your eyes.
Seeing and being seen.
In my yes. My no.
Lucidity is kindness, as always.
To breath; rebirthing, opening up, energies in flux. Loudly.

Body contact.
Hands caressing my body, soft as a feather.
The strength of an arm holding me close.
Letting my enjoyment be seen, heard.

Speaking out loud, my inner wish.
What I desire. Right now. With you and noone else.
To speak. Be granted my wish. Speaking another. Granted, yet again.
Daring to let go.
Daring to let me ask for, be granted, receive.
Revel.
Simply being with it. Being with.
Sensuality.
Caresses.

Not taking responsibility for anyone but me.
I. Here. For me. Not you.
You. Here for you. Not me.
In the space in between, We are created.
Multiple We’s.
Shifting. Growing. Weaved together, by laughter, eye contact, touch.

Shares. Laughs.
Truth and lies; more laughter. Frivolous and heartfelt, all at once.
That which is significant, and that which is insignificant.

Elemental massage. Like earth, fire, water, air, ether.
Heavy. Earthed. Grounded. Powerful. Well needed.
Surprised. Sweeter to receive than give, which gives me permission after the fact, for what I gave. Like a winter swim: tingling skin, awakened, alive. Blood flowing through my veins.
Rippling, sparkling. A moment of grace.
Softly, softly. Caressed by hair, by breath, by the outermost part of the fingertips. More, give me more!
Caressed by energy, by the force field generated by closeness and presence, even without physical contact. There is so much more to us, we reach far beyond our physical bodies.

The gift.
That I do. Dare. Let myself.
Give. Receive.
The exquisite thrill, heartfelt and real, far from ABC.
The amount of pleasure available to us in life, far beyond what I ever knew, dared, understood, thought myself able to.

Beginning to understand.
Bliss!

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