Monthly Archives May 2019

The time in between the seconds

The time in between the seconds

May 29, 2019
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The spaces in-between.
I have grown to love them.
To understand, value, cherish and seek them.
Rejoicing in them, when able to. Which I am not all the time. Far from it.
But as with most things… the more I am with the spaces in-between, the better I am at rejoicing in them, revelling in them, revering them.

Rectify. 
A series I just started watching.
Daniel is asked what was real to him during his years in prison. He replies:

The time in between the seconds

The in-betweens.
There they are.

Synchronicity in the making.
I’ve had a day filled with in-betweens. At a customer, all day, participating in a quality audit. Responding to questions when needed, keeping notes of what was being done and said. And in-betweens. Loads of them. Just sitting there, waiting (resting in the tranquility of it!) for the inspectors to finish reading, to come with the next question or request.

On the bus home, I watched episode two. And then… towards the end; this. A reminder!
A reminder for me, to make room for the in-betweens. Those moments of doing nothing. Waiting for the tea kettle to boil. For the final spin cycle on the washing machine to come to an end. For the red light to turn to green when out and about on my bike. For the sun to settle.

Not having to fill every moment with action – checking email, social media feeds, messages, or any number of other activities that have come to take the place, the space, of the in-betweens – but rather… simply… being? Breathing? Like balm to the soul.

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The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (book 5 of 12)

May 26, 2019
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in Tip
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Haruki Murakami. 
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle.

Mesmerising, surreal, this really is the work of a true original the blurb from The Times reads on the cover. And in all honesty, I don’t know that I have much more to add to that. Mesmerising. Yes. Surreal. Extremely! The work of a true original. Heck yes. It’s another one of these reading experiences where I cannot wrap my head around what would make someone be able to write like this, to actually put what has been put on paper, down on paper.

Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even get them going. But curiosity evaporates. Guts have to go for the long haul. Curiosity’s like an amusing friend you can’t really trust. It turns you on and then it leaves you to make it on your own – with whatever guts you can muster. 

Did I like it?
Yes. And no.

I mean… Yes. This is such an awesome book. But it is a book that demands my attention as a reader. My full attention at that. So, quick reader that I am, these 600 pages or so took me more or less 6 weeks to finish (which for me is a long time. Remember, last year I read 101 books, this year I am aiming at 75. If all books I wanted to read demanded as much from me, I would fail miserably in reaching my target.). A dozen pages or so at a time. Not much more. Sometimes less. (And yes, of course, I’ve been reading a few other books during this period, as per my usual habit. I am a parallel-reader, not a serial one. But regardless!)

And in a sense… this sentence points to my ambivalence as a reader:
The majority of people dismiss those things that lie beyond the bounds of their own understanding as absurd and not worth thinking about. 

This book is, at times, so far beyond the bounds of my understanding, it would be easy for me to dismiss it as absurd. Or plain strange. Not worth the effort. But it is! Truly. Like the back cover blurb from Independent of Sunday reads: How does Murakami manage to make poetry while writing of contemporary life and emotions? I am weak-kneed with admiration.

So am I. Murakami has a brain that I’d love to be able to “look inside”, to see how the connections are made, what type of leaps of the imagination that are necessary to spin this story… it’s so far from the way my brain works (or so it seems). But then again, that might just be another of the things I’ve come to know about myself, that isn’t anything but a belief, after all:
To know one’s own state is not a simple matter. One cannot look directly at one’s own face with one’s own eyes, for example. One has no choice but to look at one’s reflection in the mirror. Through experience, we come to believe that the image is correct, but it is just a belief. 


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2019, to read and blog about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, one every other week, books that I already own.

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Working together!

May 25, 2019
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As I waited for two friends to come over and help me with the garden, I wandered out in it… only to stumble upon the first giant poppy in bloom.

Oh!

Lavish.

Lush.

Lovely!

Lucky me; There are at least another 30 buds or so just raring to go!

In a few hours time, we worked the garden, sowing sugar peas, parsley, dill and kale, moving a few Jerusalem artichokes, watered and weeded, and started to get the berry patch in order, which it truly needs, not having seen a lot of love these past few years.

Three people, three hours.
What a difference it makes, from giving it a halfhearted hour or two myself, flitting from one spot in dire need to the next, without actually making a lot of progress, to working together like this! And better still, they will be coming back to help me. <3 

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I choose to!

May 24, 2019
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Attended a funeral.
A life, coming to an end.
A long life, lived.

Solemn feeling.
Filled with gratitude for living, for loving, for laughing, for learning.
Reminisce about loved ones who’ve gone before.

Tears fall, slowly, effortlessly.
Not sad tears. Loving tears. Heartfelt tears.
For lives, and choices.
The ones that serve. The ones that don’t.
How it all constitutes a life. A life lived.
Because they are, all of them, those lives.
Lived. One way or another.

And then… sooner or later, they come to an end.
Mine will too.
But not today. Not now.
Every day of life is a day of living.
Loving. Laughing. Learning.
If I choose to make it thus…

I choose to!

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Three questions

May 22, 2019
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Finished another coaching conversation with coach Dave. A conversation much like any conversation really.
Flowing this way, then that way. Slowing down, sometimes stopping altogether, only to pick up speed, and rush forth!
Like a meandering river, conversations ebb and flow. Much like life, honestly.

Is that what coaching can be?
Yeah. Why not! Whatever serves in the moment, that’s what coaching can be.

Today, what served me the most was a meandering conversation, that has me popping ideas like crazy, on blog posts, sales pitches, other conversations to have and on and on…

Now, to ensure I don’t go off the deep end, Dave brought me back to the importance of three very basic questions. Questions I hereby vow to stick with for the next month (because boy… is it ever easy to skip these and start to build a house without having gotten the foundation well in place first!).

I will sit with them. Reflect upon them. Dig into them.
Write. Speak. Share. Listen. Learn. And… act!

The latter aspect might be one of the more important ones, given where I am at, and what I want to accomplish. So I will dig deep and act upon my findings. I will try it out, because I cannot figure this one out on my own, in conversation only with myself (and coach Dave). I have to (and want to!) put this to the test, something not done in silence, not done alone in my chambers and not done theoretically.

Three questions.
One month.

(Or more? Who knows… Or less?
Nah. I will give it a month!)

You with me in exploring this?

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Do what it takes.

May 17, 2019
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Stop, he said. Don’t come dragging that old story again, just do what it takes. We can spend our time together talking about petty things, things you know full well how to get done, or… we can spend it on that which would really provide value for you. It’s your choice. What do you choose?

Once again, coach Dave gave me the mental slap in the face I needed to shake out of a limiting belief I’d been holding on to for a couple of months. Like a mantra I’d been telling myself, over and over again, only a mantra that kept me small. Kept me a victim. Kept me in a passive state of mind, which definitely did not help me make either of the two choices.

It didn’t help me do what I needed to get done, and it didn’t open me up for working on the other stuff either, the dream, the enticing and alluring idea I’d cracked a few weeks earlier in another conversation with him.

He’s good at it.
Keeping me large, that’s what he does.
Holds me to my inner Goddess, to the fierce and powerful Amazon warrior within.

Mirroring for me what that Helena is all about, what I am capable of, when I own It. When I own Me. Owning that powerful-beyond-measure that is the light within, and letting it shine, shine, shine! Doing what it takes. 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson

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Content.

May 3, 2019
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Make the most of your created content… or so I read. And hear. Over and over again.
Realizing, I definitely do not.

I have, to date, 1692 blog posts over at my (nowadays solely) Swedish blog, and with this post published, 497 blog posts here. In a little while I will do my 184th Facebook live, recorded in as many days. Not even counting 2374 Instagram posts, there’s quite a lot of content I’ve created that I could/should do something more with.

I have recently started Doing Gentle with an Edge, my podcast where I read blog posts from my Doing Gentle-series, as well as reflections. That’s one way to reuse my original content, in a way that makes me happy. But surely there’s so much more I could do with everything I’ve done these past years?

Ebooks?
Transcribe some of my lives and turn them into blog posts?
Make lives (more deliberately) on the topic of blog posts I’ve written?
Pick out quotes from my writings, mount on value-adding (in one way or another) images and post on Instagram?
Start a Pinterest-account and post them there as well?
Be more deliberate in how I post and cross-post on social media in general, and Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram in particular?

And that’s just ”my content”, which is but a part of what I do/am capable of doing. Just writing this, I get a bunch of other ideas.

However. What I notice more than anything is that what is lacking in how I make the most of my content, as well as of my skills, is deliberateness.

I am an upholder.
When I say I will blog daily, I do.
When I start doing daily lives on Facebook, I do them.
When I say I will do something, it takes a lot for me not to follow through.
But… have I honestly asked myself what’s my Why behind doing what I am doing?
And if so – have I followed it up with the How in the form of actions? In turn, followed by What the actions of my How’s turn into?

No.
Have not.
Not all the way through the Golden Circle of Why – How – What.

Deliberateness, you read, and perhaps think That sounds so boring, and, somehow, almost manipulative, doesn’t it?

Well. To tell you the truth – no. Not to me. Where I am at right now, in an ongoing transformation of my business, it sounds anything but boring. It sounds outright enticing! I mean… what if I sat down, with pen and paper, and got deep into the question of What want’s to happen here/now? Perhaps I would stop blogging and live:ing daily? Perhaps I would do it even more often? Perhaps I would stop altogether? Who knows!

And… given how many ideas I am getting just from writing this, what if I hook my newfound friend deliberateness up with a hefty dose of focus? What might be possible then?

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I let go of my desperation.

May 2, 2019
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I am a wildfire at the moment, connecting and asking for help to find new participants for my 60 hours tankespjärn-retreat on May 8-10, 2019. With a slightly desperate tone to it, flitting from task to task, all the while breathing shallowly… Until I had a chat with my fellow Supercoach Academy attendee of 2014, Martin Croft, that I haven’t talked to in a couple of years. I stumbled upon his name on LinkedIn, reached out, and 24 hours later we were chatting away.

As I was sharing what I was up to with Martin, I voiced my concern for the cancellations I’d gotten for the first round of 60 hours tankespjärn, resulting in a small number of participants. He asked how many. I replied.

Then he looked at me and asked: What’s the problem with there being only three participants?

Bam!
With that one question, I spotted my thoughts and the truth I’d built around the number of participants for my pilot. And just like that… I let go of my desperation.

It will be. With three. With ten.
Regardless. It will be.

And… all is well in the world.
And… I am still a wildfire, connecting and putting my new concept out into the public domain.
Only now, without the desperation (within), making all the difference in the world.

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