Monthly Archives June 2020

the welfare of the children

the welfare of the children

June 30, 2020
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I read a book. A book about a father who is suddenly –by the mother– refused the right to be with his two children, and what follows has me frustrated to pieces.

One reason for my frustration is that I have two friends who’ve gone through more or less the same thing, where the system(s) just seems totally inadequate and incapable of actually doing what the Swedish systems claim to do: Put the welfare of the children first. This is (supposed to be) valid for the school system, the social services, the police, the courts, all of the Swedish systems put in place to serve its citizens.

When I read the last page, I grabbed my computer and started to write. And was surprised at what I wrote, because it wasn’t the frustration from witnessing my two friends getting stuck in the quagmire of custody hearings, meetings with the schools and the social services, and what not that started to pour out…

No. What came out was my own frustration from my experiences of an adoption process, taking place in 2008-2009, when my second husband adopted my firstborn, with the blessing of the biological father, my first husband.

It surprised me. I wasn’t aware that this is at the root of why I am drawn to try to aid my friends, or really, anyone, getting caught and entwined in the barbed wire of the system. Because it can truly be detrimental. And I don’t see that it’s actually benefitting anyone.

So once more, putting fingers to keyboard informs me, greatly. I see me. Discover more, of me. Pieces hidden. Forgotten. Deliberately shunned. And… perhaps also pieces of me that are so brand-new, they are like a minuscule fetus, well-protected deep within the flesh of my body, my psyche, my being?

(The book’s in Swedish, and the post as well, but I might translate it. If you want to read it?)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Putting ourselves out there

June 28, 2020
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The Creative’s Workshop has been a truly transformative experience, partaking in something like this, especially during the times we are living in–the workshop started beginning of February 2020, just before COVID-19 and the Coronavirus-pandemic sort of became a reality for us all–feels like a meant-to-be-moment in my life.

As the workshop is coming to an end, many of us are reluctant to let go, a reluctance akin to that which I believe humans feel upon leaving the womb. It’s been nourishing and sheltered and has felt very safe and loving, and yet… outside, that’s where everything learned from within the bubble is to manifest. Because we do live in a world of form, a physical world, putting ourselves out there is of importance. That’s how we seed generosity, that’s how we share of ourselves, our fears and favorites, our mishaps and major wins, our questions, insights and creative outputs.

The very final Open Mic, organized by one of the groups created within the workshop, has a record turn-out, and even though I’ve only understood the beauty of the Open Mic these past 4-5 weeks, participating in them has been one of many highlights of my TCW-exploration.

So I want to share a bit of the glory of TCW with you, the out there-part of the world.

Here’s a new take on Arlette Manassehs limerick, put into visuals by Manu Satsangi:

Timmy Riordan sang the most beautiful song for us: Lean into Me

Laura Tucker of the Free your inner guru-podcast shared a bit of her experience recording an episode with Charles Wilson, which can be found here: Music is Medicine

Jayashree Krishnan, who painted Pop the cat for me, painted a smashing portrait of Seth Godin (who’s the man behind the Akimbo workshops, along with a crew of skilled professionals and coaches!) during the Open Mic, who’s also got a GoFundMe-project for a series of watercolors on care-workers that she’s been sharing within and without TCW. Please check it out, fund it, and share the word!

And then there was Isabel Núñez Cortés sharing a piece of her music, from a scoring competition she’s participating in. My take, listening to the music while watching the video was: But… What? This i s n ‘ t the real score for this video? It sounds just like it’s supposed to! 

I could go on, given the fact that there were 20+ people on the celebratory final OM, but… I won’t. Or. I might… in the future. But not now. I think you’ve already gotten enough to go around for a long time (cuz I am totally counting on y’all to click and view and listen and share and subscribe and fund and seed generosity in any way, shape or form you can!). And I want to make sure everyone listens to Charles Wilson (same one who’s participating in Laura’s podcast) on George Floyd and the Struggle for Equality which he played live as the finale of the OM-finale, and man… that was a m a z i n g to witness:

It’s been an honor to be a part of this workshop as well as these Open Mic-sessions!

❤️   

(But how can I stop here? When I haven’t said a word about Kathy Karn or Jim Grady, not to mention Amandawhom I have mentioned about before though!– or Jennifer or Sue or… 

Someone.
Please.
Make me stop!

But how can I?)

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Buddhas by the Roadside, a very unusual podcast

June 27, 2020
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in Tip
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When we record Buddhas by the Roadside-conversations I greatly enjoy each conversation.

Then… sometimes I do the timecoding for an episode (basically finding a starting and an ending point, and flagging any obnoxiously odd sounds or mishaps to be edited out), getting a chance to listen to the conversation, and I greatly enjoy listening to each raw-cut as well.

Then… the episodes are actually published, and guess what?
I listen to them. Sometimes, more than once, more than twice.
And. Yes. I greatly enjoy them.

Perhaps that’s a bit odd and self-absorbed, but… there’s so much going on in these very intimate conversations, that I find new things to pick up on, to react to, to ponder, each time I listen to them.

What I’ve heard most people say, of the people who like the pod–which, yes, is a most unusual pod!– is that it’s as if they get to walk straight into a conversation, a very intimate one, at that. We have no intro/outro music, there’s no introduction, nothing. We just start talking, and off we go. For an hour. An hour and a half. Two hours even. And then… it’s over, when it’s over. But now and again, there are mini-breaks, where we pause, letting the silence engulf us–and you!–, again, in a most un-pod-like way.

And since I enjoy being a bit odd, this suits me perfectly!
However, I would be truly happy to have you give us a listen if you haven’t already. And if you have, and you like us (and even if you don’t), give us another listen. Who knows what might happen?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.

 

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…in the garden of Eden

June 26, 2020
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I am in The Creative’s Workshop, which surely has not escaped anyone (or… it probably has. Escaped hundreds of millions, even billions of people, but if you are a regular reader of this blog, you might remember it… Anyways…), where, on Friday evenings there’s an Open Mike-session on Zoom, where a bunch of people from the workshop gathers to read or show our work. I’ve only taken part in this for the last month or so, but I absolutely love it. The week before last, someone suggested we swop with someone, reading each others works, and I immediately reached out to Arlette Manasseh, asking if she’d swop pieces with me, having me read something of her’s and she read something of mine. She agreed and promised she’d write me a poem to read. I in turn sent her a few links to posts of mine, and she picked Open which I shared in my Dailies in the workshop as well.

The day of the Open Mike I nudged Arlette, and immediately, she sent me a poem. What she didn’t tell me was that she’d write the poem not just for me to read, but, actually, for me. It’s about me. I read it, and was both humbled and filled with joy because it’s a fun one.

So here goes, the limerick Arlette wrote to me:

There once was a lady from Sweden
who painted her toes in the garden of Eden
Then a panther walked past
Like a shadow he asked
Do you like cheesecake
Or swimming the lake?

There once was a panther from Hampshire
Who surrounded himself with laughter
It was the cheesecake you know
Which ‘elena eats with her big toe
And now she spends the weekends
In his Chateau.

(19 June 2020)

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I deserve being nourished

June 25, 2020
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I don’t do thirty minutes of gardening daily.
But I do some gardening, most days.
Sometimes for hours. Sometimes nothing at all.
It evens out, but what’s apparent is how nurturing it is for me, especially after a long day at the office.

Coming home, running low on energy, even though I mostly just want to lie down on my bed and do nothing for an hour or two… if I don my garden clothes and step outside into the garden – the recharge starts immediately. And it’s definitely a significantly faster charge happening than the plonking-down-on-the-bed-scrolling-through-SoMe-feeds is.

So, I am vowing, yet again, to gift myself the joy of gardening, because that is what it is.
It is a gift. For me.

I sometimes forget that it is a gift (thinking it’s a burden).
I sometimes forget how nourishing it is (opting for the mind-numbing SoMe-scrolling instead).
I sometimes forget how the weariness just falls off me, when I bend down to remove some weed, when I put a few more seeds in a garden bed, when I get out the watering can and feed the thirsty plants (mistaking it for a chore). 

I sometimes forget.
And I want to remember.
Because I deserve being nourished.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Seeding generosity

June 24, 2020
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She sent me an email, Alison, saying she’d revisited the conversation I’d had with myself, witnessed by her, in April. The one she created We need each other from. Enclosed a link and asked if I’d be ok with her putting it out into the world.

Without bothering to look, I hit Reply and said Yes, of course! and kept on working… until I couldn’t keep my curiosity at bay. And what I saw brought tears to my eyes.

Being witnessed by Alison is something special, and getting these created little movies back from her is a bonus, but oh, what a bonus!

The funny thing is, that on the following Saturday, this movie in combination with Alison courageously and vulnerable engaging in conversation in The Creative’s Workshop turned into a transformative moment, benefitting all the participants of that workshop.  Synchronicity at play!


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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A nourishing conversation

June 23, 2020
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Attention energizes.
Intention transforms. 

These two sentences were the topic for the June monthly Zoom-call of the tankespjärn-community on Patreon inspired by these two posts:
Attention energizes. Intention transforms.
#blackouttuesday

Four people, 60 minutes (honestly, we ran for 70, my bad!).
Listening.
Learning.

A nourishing conversation, if ever, spanning the meaning of life to Covid-19, Black Lives Matter to the Law of Attraction (and the Law of Action), and the importance of knowing our attention as well as our intention when we decide what to focus on (based on the adage that we get more of what we focus on). 

This Zoom-call definitely whet my appetite and I already look forward to doing a Zoom in July, on… well. Who knows!

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Secrets of the millionaire mind (book 6 of 12)

June 22, 2020
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Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker is one of those books written with tongue-in-cheek in a you-can-do-it-tonality, that usually irks me. And it did. Here and there. (Or honestly, quite a few cringe-worthy moments I am to be honest. And why shouldn’t I be?)

”[..] remember that thoughts and opinions aren’t good or bad, right or wrong, as they enter your mind, but they can sure be empowering or disempowering to your happiness and success, as they enter your life.”

But the basic concept of the book, as stated above, is one I do appreciate after all, and as the book is also on my twelve books to read and reflect upon in 2020-list, here I go.

Because yes. Thoughts do enter my mind, one after another, in a steady stream throughout my days (and nights…). And me understanding that these thoughts were thoughts and not Truths, was a pivotal moment in me becoming the person I am today.

Once I’d gotten that fact down, I started to re-program myself by asking How does this serve me? (or variations on the theme) over and over again, in any and all situations and moments. Silently. Within. I would ask Does this serve me? and it would provide me with the tiniest gap in my stream of thoughts, giving me a moment to observe myself, and decide whether or not this thought was one I wanted to partake in my life. Or not.

Having asked myself that questions tens of thousands of times, I no longer have to consciously think about it, because I truly have been re-programmed. My brain automatically takes me down that path, when called for.

The fact that you can re-program yourself is the message T. Harv emphasizes, over and over again. Starting with an introductory chapter on Your money blueprint, he moves on to the seventeen wealth files, which is his word for how to re-program your mind from a mentality and mindset centered on lack to one of abundance.

”The secret to success is not to try to avoid or get rid of or shrink from your problems; the secret is to grow yourself so that you are bigger than any problem.”

This I find truly interesting though, and I now know where a few of my friends have gotten this idea, they’ve obviously read Secrets of the Millionaire Mind themselves! And I have to say, this is a piece of first-class tankespjärn. Agree?

When I look back on my life, the moments of exponential personal growth and development, have – mostly – centered on big problems, to use T. Harv Ekers words. And as a direct result of those problems, I have grown. Immensely. Proof of which I’ve gotten, when somewhat similar types of situations have arisen, giving me ample opportunity to observe myself and compare Helena of today with Helena of the past. (And no, not judging Helena of the past as lesser, or bad, or wrong. Simply observing, from a place of self-love and -honoring.)

Have you grown yourself bigger than any problem of yours?

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Say w h a t?

June 21, 2020
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All of a sudden, I have at least four posts to write, where I know precisely what they will be about.

Say w h a t?

Yeah, I know.
For me, this is an oddity, an outlier. I normally sit down, and something shows up, which I then write about. Or, I start writing something, but it turns into something else, through a process I cannot describe, but one which my system knows full well, as it’s run often enough.

But now, I have a post on a book to write, one on generosity, one with a limerick gifted to me, and then one on today’s Zoom-call with my tankespjärn-community (which in itself is a post containing a multitude of spin-off-posts).

This means… if I sit down to write all these, I would be ahead of the game by at least four days. If I still stick to writing each day, that would get me halfway to the goal I’ve had for a while, of being approximately a week ahead of myself. Being ahead by a week or so has the added perk of me being able to re-visit written-but-not-yet-published pieces, tweaking and trimming them if need be.

But first… an hour of two of gardening!


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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I am not alone.

June 20, 2020
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Today we recorded another episode of Buddhas by the Roadside, spending most of the time talking about (dis)embodiment. Somewhere along the lines of conversation, jumping from bare feet, to menstrual cycles, to what gets schooled out of humans during childhood and in adult life, the amazement of the designs behind the human body as well as the bodies of tigers and penguins and house-cats, I was reminded of this passage, which I’d read earlier in the morning. It can be found on June 19th in The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo.

”This is why it helps to share our journey with others, because in so doing we become a chorus of voices, and the stress of going solo lessens once we discover that we are not alone.”

I don’t remember what stepping stone(s) brought me to it in the Buddhas-conversation, but I remember why I’d snapped a photo of it upon reading it. When I went for the shotgun-approach *again*, caught myself in the act, and then sort-of did a combo shotgun/sniper rifle-approach instead, one of my fellow The Creative’s Workshoppers got inspired and wrote something along the lines of taking my lead.

”This is why it helps to share our journey with others, because in so doing we become a chorus of voices, and the stress of going solo lessens once we discover that we are not alone.”

As I read these lines, I was reminded of how happy that made me. The knowing (!) that I am not alone.

For some reason (I believe it to be deep, the need to know we are not alone. Deeply existential. The most basic fear of humans is that of being shunned. We are not solitary creatures.) knowing she’d follow along, had me exhale. In relief. Knowing (!) I am not alone.

And. If I hold it in, whatever it is that has me think I am the only person on Earth feeling this… If I hold it in, not giving anyone the opportunity, the possibility, to reach out a hand, tap me on the shoulder, and gently say Oh my friend, I know what you are feeling. Been there, done that. You are not alone.

Indeed, sharing is caring holds multiple meanings.
And I am enamored with them all.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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