Author Archives Helena Roth

24 Assets (book 8 of 12)

24 Assets (book 8 of 12)

August 10, 2020
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”Success is less about your individual talent and more to do with the environment that brings out the best in you.”

24 Assets: Create a Digital, Scalable, Valuable and Fun Business That Will Thrive in a Fast Changing World by Daniel Priestly is, just like Key Person of Interest, another one of his books that I’ve read, an easy read, filled with actionable suggestions. Perhaps, a bit too easy if you know what I mean?

But, like with all other types of self-help-books (regardless of the genre, be it personal or business development, home renovations or learning how to play the piano), unless you actually take the author up on his/her suggestions, and give it a shot, nothing will happen. And I gather that’s what most people do. Read, possibly get a few insights, and move on, without actually doing the work. Constantly searching, and never finding.

”There’s no avoiding the work or the practice if you want the results.”

Priestly has a challenge directed specifically for me as well:
”I want to encourage you to stop reading new books, going to new seminars, consuming a wide variety of videos and podcasts. Instead, pick a style and run deep with it–get yourself into the environment and implement.”

Not sure about that one. In practice, that is. In theory, I agree to a large extend, but not completely. Also, going deep (becoming a specialist) is not necessarily what works for everyone. The generalists out there (and heck, is this ever me!) are also necessary, as generalists and specialists contribute differently to the world, and we need that diversity. But in principle, sure, forever jumping from one book to another, from one podcast to another, from one seminar or YouTube-video or TED Talk or… might not always be the healthiest of behaviors. If done without reflection, without pausing and connecting dots, it might well be a form of fleeing, of avoiding what-ever-it-might-be.

But never looking outside your style, probably isn’t that healthy in the long run either. So, as with most things, a bit of both/and is likely the better strategy. Going at it in cycles is perhaps the most beneficial strategy at that, skimming the surface for a while before heading down into the deep. Come up to the surface, rest a bit, before starting all over again.

In the space I find myself, with tankespjärn being a concept I want (intend!) to dig down deep with, I will definitely look into these 24 assets, and decide what to develop, how to develop it, with whom and when. Exciting times ahead!


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2020, to read and blog monthly about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, books that I already own.

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The signal value of reading

August 9, 2020
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For me, ”doing nothing” for the past month has, to a large extent, meant doing nothing but read. 20 books later, I got to talk about reading with Caspian the other day, speaking about the signal value of seeing someone read a book, rather than knowing they read (most commonly before falling asleep, I assume) but never actually seeing them with a book.

Both my parents read, read a lot, and read whenever there’s a possibility to read, not just before bedtime. And that’s been true for as long as I can remember. My grandparents also read, all of them. My aunts, my cousins, my siblings. We read. It’s simply something we do. (My mom says that once I learned how to read, I never stopped.)

But what Caspian said made me realize that today, when there are so many other ways of reading a book than to actually be holding a physical book –audiobooks, Kindle/ebooks–, I wonder at the signal value of it all. If I’m listening to a book (using my headphones that is), no one knows. I might as well be listening to music or a pod or whatever. And if I’m on my phone/iPad/computer reading an ebook, well… no one knows either. It looks the same as if I am scrolling SoMe, flicking thru the latest headlines in an online news site, or watching something on Netflix. If I’m on an actual Kindle, perhaps someone makes the link, knowing what a Kindle is and what it looks like, but I’m not sure everyone does. (That’s not true. I am sure not everyone knows what a Kindle is/looks like.)

Now, I love the physical book, because the kinesthetic value of it enriches my reading experience. I retain a physical sense of knowing if passages that stick out to me were in the beginning, middle or end of the book, on the right or left-hand page, if it was at the top, middle or bottom of the page, as well as being able to feel how much of the book remains. I love that. Am happy if people are reading books though, regardless of the medium.

But the signal value of it… that one has me puzzled. Perhaps I would not be reading as much as I do if I hadn’t seen my parent read all the time? Or if they had read in other ways than the very visible and easily spotted physical book?

What about you, who were your reading role models? And are you one?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Right/Wrong

August 8, 2020
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Right and Wrong. That was the starting point for the monthly Zoom in July, in the tankespjärn community on Patreon. An hour of gentle, exploring, curious conversation and connection, along the lines of the attached doodle.

What became apparent quite quickly was that we all had a strong sense of either ourselves or a parent, being the one who was always right. Makes me wonder about you, reading this, if you, a parent, or perhaps a grandparent or someone else, held this role in your life growing up? The one always in the right?

From the doodle, I am thrown back to that Friday morning (CET time), the way our conversation meandered about, the way they do, those generous, rich, nourishing conversations. Across the distinction between Judgment (preconceived notions) vs Discernment (being open to what is), and how that latter opens up not just within, but also without, making room for all (people, ideas, decisions). To the impactful question: Am I worthy to get what I want? Which made way for insights of not nurturing oneself as one could (can!), and how, when the notion of having to be right (while fearing being wrong) leaves room for uncertainty, how freeing that can be.

Right and Wrong.
Where does it take you?


These Zoom-conversations are a monthly feature of the tankespjärn-community–and I know I speak for every member when I say, that you are enthusiastically invited to join in!

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Being wrong: Adventures in the margin of error (book 7 of 12)

August 7, 2020
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in Tip
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”To err is to wander, and wandering is the way we discover the world; and, lost in thought, it is also the way we discover ourselves. Being right might be gratifying, but in the end it is static, a mere statement. Being wrong is hard and humbling, and sometimes even dangerous, but in the end it is a journey, and a story. Who really wants to stay home and be right when you can don your armor, spring up on your steed and go forth to explore the world? True, you might get lost along the way, get stranded in a swamp, have a scare at the edge of a cliff; thieves might steal your gold, brigands might imprison you in a cave, sorcerers might turn you into a toad–but what of that? To fuck up is to find adventure: it is in that spirit that this book is written.”

Being wrong: Adventures in the margin of error by Kathryn Schulz, is a book I was gifted, by someone I think knew just how much I would appreciate it. And I must say, I did. I do. Because this is definitely a book to read again, now and again.

”…our beliefs are inextricable from our identities. That’s one reason why being wrong can so easily wound our sense of self.”

Having lived at least 35+ years of my life with a very hard-formed belief that my worth, my value, lay in me being correct, I guess you can fathom how I feared being wrong.

Oh.
How. I. Feared.
Being. Wrong.

And it’s still not easy.
To ’fess up to. To acknowledge. To own.
But I’ve gotten much better at it.
Practice makes perfect… as the saying goes.
(Can one be perfect in getting things wrong?)

”The very word ’believe’ comes from an Old English verb meaning ’to hold dear’, which suggests, correctly, that have a habit of falling in love with our beliefs once we’ve formed them.”

I was not just enamored in my beliefs, I was enamored in being right, correct, spot-on, in anything. I’d much rather not answer a Trivial Pursuit question where I dithered than answer it and be proven wrong.

”This is the thing about fully experiencing wrongness. It strips us of all our theories, including our theories about ourselves. This isn’t fun while it’s happening–it leaves us feeling flayed, laid bare to the bone and the world–but it does make possible that rarest of occurrences: real change.”

Perhaps that is precisely what I did, way back then when I was about to become a mother, and my world fell apart around me? Experienced my wrongness completely, having all my theories about myself, my marriage, my life, taking a proper tumble, leaving me laid bare to the bone… open to the question which got me started on the path to real change: Do I like who I am?


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2020, to read and blog monthly about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, books that I already own.

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There’s a conversation for me to have

August 6, 2020
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There’s a conversation for me to have.
It’s prompted by one of my boundaries having been violated.
If that’s the word? Breached, might be a better choice.

I don’t set a lot of boundaries.
I think…
I’m not certain here. At all.
I do know I used to have a whole bunch of boundaries in place, boundaries which mostly did not serve me, but rather made it easier for me to be the person I did not want to be. So perhaps –quite likely even– I’ve gone too far in the opposite direction, and now have too few boundaries in place. Which makes it harder for me to be the person I want to be.

So there’s a conversation for me to have.
To enforce my boundary.
Or perhaps, rather, to honor me. Stand by me.
Be true to the one person that means more than any other in my life. Me.

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Stepping out of my self-imposed bubble.

August 2, 2020
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For the past three weeks I’ve been offline, with regards to Social Media. No Facebook, no Instagram, no Forward Link (the AKIMBO-workshop gathering after the specific workshops ends, like The Creative’s Workshop did right around the time I went off SoMe). Have hardly checked my email either, except now and then, making sure there wasn’t anything I needed to attend to. And once verifying that, quickly logging off.

Deleted the SoMe-apps and my email-app from my phone.
Leveled up to level 40 on my ”baby account” (started by my youngest) and promptly deleted Pokémon Go on July 12th, a game which has kept me company for 4 years, almost to the day (minus 4).

For three weeks, I’ve done… almost nothing.
Slept.
Rested.
Read.
(Loads. 16 books in 3 weeks.
Love it. Currently 8 books ahead in my Goodreads challenge for 2020 to read 65 books; when I started my vacation I was 5 books behind, at least.)
Binge-watched Reign, Cursed, Good Girls.
Knitted.
Gardened. Weeding. Watering.

Picked berries. Ate them.
(Wild strawberries. Raspberries. Gooseberries. Red and black currants. Black mulberries.)

I’ve not blogged.
Hardly written anything. (Published nothing!)
(Did meet with Caspian one afternoon to record small video’s for my upcoming Tankespjärn-online course.)

Have met… almost no one.
(Except on Zoom-calls, deeply nourishing zoom-calls.)
Have hardly stepped foot outside my house/garden.
Have hardly walked. Hardly biked.
Haven’t been down to the ocean even once.
Haven’t met up with friends, haven’t had anyone over, haven’t gone anywhere. More or less.

Ever since folklore was released July 24th (I was told by my in-house Swiftie), it’s been on repeat.
Day in, day out.
Softly. In the background.

The perfect soundtrack to this bubble of mine.
Soft. Airy. Scaled down, minimal.
Beautiful.
(And yes. It’s on. Now.
As I am slowly stepping back into the world.
Logging back on to FB and Instagram, catching up with what’s happened on Forward Link during my hiatus.
Slowly.
Overwhelmed. A bit.
Wanting, wishing, longing for me to get another relation to SoMe from now on.
Up to me. I know.)

Yesterday, with two full days remaining until work is back on, I was astounded how deeply I –still– needed to do nothing.
Meet no one. Move hardly an inch.
Enjoying the sun, the warmth, the garden, books (3 in a day. And such lovely books.), folklore.

And you know what?
I. Needed. This.
Needed this break more than I realized.
Way more.

(Yet to learn, fully, how to let other people spark into action from my energy, as opposed to them being hooked up intravenously to me, running off my energy. Explains a lot.)

Stepping out of my self-imposed bubble.
Slowly. Gently.

Changes are afoot.
(In more ways than one.)

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I will disconnect.

July 11, 2020
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Come Christmas quite a few years ago by now, I decided, on the spur of the moment, to refrain from Social Media for a week. It turned into almost three weeks, and it felt great. I didn’t blog a lot, but some, if I remember correctly, but didn’t share on SoMe in my usual manner. (I think I used Buffer back then, so I could post to SoMe without actually being on there, which, even though it works, sort of defeats the purpose, using SoMe solely as a one-way megaphone, rather than a platform to forge relationships.)

Today is the first day of my three-week vacation, and I am coming to the same type of decision. Unceremoniously I deleted Facebook, LinkedIn, Spray (email-client) and other app’s from both my phone and my iPad. Had an embryo of this blog text spinning around in my head since the afternoon, and plan on posting it on both my blogs.

And then… I will disconnect.

Not necessarily go on a strict digital sabbat, but… if you are used to seeing me online, you will see much less of me, for a couple of weeks, that’s for sure. I might blog, now and then. Or… I might not.

I have a few online meet-up’s already planned, and a few in-person ones as well.
I might clean house, mend clothes, binge-watch Netflix series, bike down to the ocean to go skinny dipping, write.

Take long walks. Or not.
Go bike riding. Or not.

(I will) Move. Dance. Sing.
Laugh. Cry.
Sleep.
Dream.

Rest and recharge.
Read and revel in the beauty of my garden.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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The End.

July 10, 2020
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Oh.
The End.
(Of the Beginning.)

The Creative’s Workshop has been such a significant part of my everyday life ever since I joined on February 7th, some 154 days ago. So when I got home from work–having woken up early this morning expecting it gone, happy to realize the site remained even after the communicated cut-off-time of July 9th–and was met with this image… it was still a shock to see it gone.

Without question, the best-spent $395 of my life.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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The way to live my life

July 8, 2020
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The intensity!
People are responding, daily-ing, responding to prompts, sharing shipping news and aha’s like never before.

TCW is going out with a bang!
A most fitting description of these final hours (?!) of The Creative’s Workshop. But alas, how will it work, the actual shut-down? ”The final day is on the 9th of July” but what does that mean? Will it be shut-down at the start of the 9th, or the end of it? And according to what time zone?

Luckily… soon we are to find out, all of us, participating in TCW until the very end (at least our perceived end).

I’ve downloaded the CSV-file with all of my entries, have the archive-link handy, and yet… there’s so much goodness written by someone else… I just will not, ever, have the time to go through it all, even if I could save the entirety of this very first cohort of TCW.

So I shake it off, the sense of regret, of loss, accept that the FOMO is not a fear, but a fact, and as such, I could spend my time and energy fighting it. To no avail. That’s the problem with facts like these. It’s not a problem to be solved but rather a fact to accept. So I do.

I accept that there are dailies-threads I will never, ever, get to dive deep into.
That there are responses to prompts that hold potential gems and insights that would be of such service to me, responses of beauty and wit, of honesty and humor, of confusion and clarity.
Not to mention all the responses to all of these posts. Responses filled with as much beauty and wit, honesty and humor, confusion and clarity.
Astute writings I won’t ever get to see.

Ah.
Bitter-sweet.
And so so welcome.
I cannot fathom living in a world where I would feel finished.
Imagine partaking in a workshop like this, with 400+ participants (not all active, but many), and after 150 days feel that I’ve gotten everything possible from it, that there’s nothing left to learn…

I wouldn’t want that.
Not for TCW, not for anything.
Especially not for life.

So I am letting TCW go, in order to let come other things, with grace. With loving acceptance, knowing deep within that this is the way I want to live my life.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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5 steps in Honorable Closure

July 7, 2020
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Come 9th of July 2020, The Creative’s Workshop will be closing down, leaving me with… high points, low points, key lessons, loads of gratitude, and a definitive intention going forward.

This is the framework shared by the most wonderful Kathy Karn whose presence in TCW has been monumental – for me personally, and for many of the other participants in the workshop. She’s touched the heart of all of us. Kathy wrote about it thus: When we do our leaving in a mindful way our psyche gets notice and may raise up unfinished business that is worth attending to. Good closure prepares us well for new beginnings.

The details of my response will stay in TCW, with one exception:
I had forgotten what impact it has on me, on my energy, on my creativity, to be in a setting with such fabulous people, who, with grace and humility, share their work, their struggles, their questions, their praise, their warmth. It is something I never want to forget again!

This is my testimonial for TCW, which can be found on the site, where there’s a new session opening up soon. I have a hard time seeing how any TCW-cohort can ever be as amazing and special as the one that is just about to close, but… at the same time, I know it will be a most sensational experience for anyone participating in it. So if you’ve considered it, do so no more. Take the plunge. Enroll!

And even though the details will stay in TCW, I want to share the framework, for me to know I have it handy, and for you, to try it out, if and when, it’s time for an honorable closure. And there will be times for that. Now and again. There always is.

Letting go. Letting come.
Part of living. And loving.

5 Steps in Honourable Closure

  1. High Points: Reflect on the high points in your experience – this is a way of collecting memories and building an archive of turning points, gratitude moments, moments that touched your heart and or your funny bone. It is not a full recounting of the history of an event or time period, high points bring up the significant points that are worth remembering.
  2. Low Points: Were there any low points? Reflect on the tough parts, what was hard or challenging?
  3. Key lessons: What have you learned? How are you different, what has changed?
  4. Gratitude: Moments of gratitude may have already been mentioned in the responses above. If there is more then say more. If there are particular people you are grateful for, let them know, be specific about how that person impacted you.
  5. Intention Going forward: As an experience or relationship comes to an end what are your intentions going forward? How will you take the gifts, the lessons from this experience into your life? This does not need to be an exhaustive list, in fact, a couple of key points are probably more likely to get integrated into your life than a long to-do list. Take time to consider this – be specific.

#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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