Reflection

Follow up – October 2019 – As I am.

Follow up – October 2019 – As I am.

November 4, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

October. The big birthday month always jampacked with celebrations and so much more, this year as all years. A little bit odd to celebrate my eldest twentieth withour her (in Australia for yet another month), but everything works!

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace Meditate daily: ✅ Have practiced 99 days in a row of deep breathing with Wim Hof, and have recently upgraded to the app Wim Hof Method. Highly recommended. I also continued with the Deepak Chokra-meditations for the first week in October.
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: Not even once.
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: 9 cold baths (or showers) in October. Very pleased and honestly quite astonished at myself. I went skinny dipping for ten minutes in 12 degree water, and absolutely loved it!
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): I am dancing, even though I missed one lesson at the end of the month. On the other hand, I compensated that by heading off for the social dancing that same evening, as I got home in time for that. My dance partner taught me what the lesson had contained, so I don’t feel I missed out too much. I look forward to continuation class D next semester!
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked just short of 70 and biked barely 260 kilometers. And, I have 24 days with “at least 10 kilometers in my body” at that!

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Read 62/75 books but haven’t finished the English book of October yet. So I just might do two English books next follow up. But I have blogged about En dag ska jag skriva om den här platsen (book 10 of 12 in Swedish).
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Nope. Won’t reach this goal, but on the other hand I have played the guitarr 14 times in October (despite not having laid a hand on the instrument for the first two weeks…).
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: ✅
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: October turned into a weird month in relation to digital sabbat. I had one for the choir trip to Åre/Östersund on October 3-6, and 25-26 at that, and possibly 11-12th… but I am not 100% certain. So… I know one thing. I have not been as observant on this as I usually am. Perhaps that’s why I have been missing my digital sabbats these last few weeks? In November, I plan on digital sabbats on 8-9, 15-16 and 29-30th.

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: These are the dates: 13-14 September, 28-28 October, 11-12 November, 9-10 December. Thanks to my soul sister Sara I did have a writing retreat on October 28-29th. With darlings to kill and a started ebook I feel very pleased with myself.
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it:
  • blog daily: With 15 Swedish blog posts and 5 English I am basically back on track, at least given the fact that October has been a month filled with activities, both days and evenings.
  • start to pod: Have cut 7 episodes with 15 to go… so I had better block off some calendar time for this work as well. The jampacked calendar had me make other priorities. October looks even worse, so I will block off 4th and 15th of November to get my pod up and running again.
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: Well, like I said, there is now a started ebook on my computer. A step in the right direction.

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January, March, August and in October! Whoop! Did not in February, April, May, June, July or September.
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: ✅

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: Celebrated 12 years as my own employer with lunch at Anita with Pernilla, the choir trip to Åre and Östersund will forever remain in my memory, #HBGTALKS with Pernilla and Elenor Thelander, podd recordings with Caspian and Mr D (as well as with Rebecka Koritz, Anna Brix Thomsen, Jens Peter de Pedro and of course Caspian – more on both these pod’s in due time!), and I gave a great lecture/talk during the Copenhagen customer event for Better Globe on the theme “Better Globe Forestry from an organizational point of view” (a heck of a lot more exciting that it might sound, let me know if you want a private session hearing with my Kenyan travel tales, I have some amazing photo’s and stories to share), and the slightly absurd image of a totally white Riseberga creek. Milk ran away from the dairy across town! A lot of cold baths, 24 wonderful hours in Lessebo and Grimsnäs with a handful of #skolvårare, day two of Likeaboss-training followed by two days of Internal revision for BRC food which also was a heck of a lot more fun that it might sound (Rikard Hellqvist at Bergström & Hellqvist is an excellent trainer!), loads of birthday celebrations (even though my firstborn spent her twentieth birthday across the globe!), an inspiring meeting on a train and daily seven number 1900 in a row. And my very own frog (thanks Maja for showing me how to!).What a magnificent month!

 

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The only way…

November 1, 2019
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The only way to ever get to a run streak of 1900 daily seven-minute-workouts (caveat: of a varying kind, sometimes heart pumping and sweat dripping, sometimes slow and stretching) is to do it one day at a time.

When I started with my first ever morning Seven on August 18th, 2014, I was on a mission to do the seven-month-challenge. I’d been gradually working more and more movement into my days, but had a focus on walks and bike rides, and I felt an urge to complement that with other types of exercises.

And boy did the habit of a daily seven ever get ingrained in my brain during those months, so when the time came… I just kept going. And going. And going, until, on Wednesday the 30th of October 2019 I hit 1900 days in a row.

And yes. I’ve kept going since, of course. Today, November 1st, I did my morning seven-workout number 1902. And I have no intention of ever stopping. Why should I?

But you know what? If I missed a day, that would be ok too. I’d simply get back on it the next day. That’s what I’ve done with meditations because I actually started a daily meditation practice too, that same day back in August of 2014. I think the farthest I ever got was somewhere between 700-800 days in a row, but way more than once I forgot a day here and a day there. Never once though did I beat myself up over my lapse, but simply got back on track the next day.

Why did I manage a perfect 1900 days in a row run streak for my morning seven but not for my meditation? Because the morning seven has a natural trigger, which I never did manage to design for the meditation. I get dressed. Every day. And before I dress, I do my morning seven. It’s as easy as that. The meditation doesn’t have such a natural trigger. (On the other hand, today I did my 100th Wim Hof deep breathing exercise in a row, something I do count as a meditative practice. And as I want to do the breathing before I do my seven, maybe I’ve gotten the perfect trigger in place at long last?)

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Ebook in the making

October 29, 2019
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So.
Here I am. Day two of my writing retreat with Sara, and I am busy, but not writing, at least not as much as yesterday. You see. I had an(other) epiphany last night: At this very moment, I have 1768 posts on my Swedish blog and 527 on my English. Soon 528, once this goes live. It’s a gold mine! A lot of these just short of 2300 posts are really good, and it’s a shame that I don’t make more of them.

I have had “create an ebook” on my intention for this year, without taking action, and truth be told, I’ve had it on my radar for at least 3-4 years by now. It. Is. Time. To. Act.

So.
I am acting.
I’ve downloaded bookwright from Blurb that I am fairly used to working with that program, and am busy creating my first ebook. To make it as easy as possible for myself, I am ebooking (is that a verb? If not, it is now!) my Doing Gentle-series of which there are 45 blog posts with an added monthly Being Gentle-reflection, which I figure will make a great ebook or two.

(The truly observant person will, at this point, scratch their head, going Hm… Wasn’t she on another mission? To write and schedule at least 7 blog posts, to get her set up to ensure there’s more time to review and rewrite blog posts?

Yes. You are right. I was. I am. It’s just… today there’s energy for ebooking, which there hasn’t been before. Ever. So, when the urge hit me, I decided to go with the flow.

Dumb move? Well. We won’t ever know, will we? And anyway, it’s not a life-or-death-matter, and… come to think of it, perhaps there’s a way to get both these missions of mine accomplished. I want to reuse material and I want to create time to review and trim texts that are as yet unpublished. Perhaps I should set up a reposting-scheme, reusing existing blog posts on a more regular basis, like I did with my #ThrowbackThursday-posts in 2016?)

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There are darlings to be killed

October 28, 2019
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You should write and publish with a delay, so you have time to go back and review/rewrite your posts after a few days, a week, or so, he said, giving me something to ponder.

And yes.
I should.
And more importantly.
I want to.

Because I know the quality of my texts would improve if I did. If I write, leave be for a while, and then revisit my texts, it’s easier to kill darlings when there are darlings to be killed; easier to twist and turn the text to ensure the message is clear as can be: easier to sense into the relevance of the text.

When I give myself (and you, dear reader) this gift, my texts are better, more to the point, hold greater clarity and fewer detours and/or dead ends.

So.
Yes.
I should.
And more importantly.
I want to.

And…. this has repercussions. Because I don’t have seven days worth of blog posts planned and scheduled. Let alone fourteen days worth. Which is where I ”should be at” if I want to make this shift.

Luckily, at this very moment I am sitting opposite Sara, who lovingly invited herself to come join me for one of my planned writing retreats. Since we’ve done writing retreats together with much success on previous occasions, I happily accepted, and now, sitting here, I know I am beholden to her. Without her presence, I would most likely be running circles around myself, doing anything but w r i t e, just like I did my last attempt.

So I give myself a mission to get seven days worth of blog posts in the pipeline, thereby giving me the opportunity to write, and revisit, before publishing.

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Defense mechanisms

October 7, 2019
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Defense mechanisms.
How powerful they are.
They run automatically in situations where something (what? The soul? My psyche? That which is beyond human, the greater force behind all in the universe, Mind?) triggers me. Runs to protect me. It’s like a script triggered by a series of logical if-this-then-that-sequences gets flipped into action, and bam, I am no longer consciously running the show that is my life, but rather a passive bystander, possibly bearing witness. More likely a puppet, arms, and legs flailing, a defense mechanism in full swing.

How grateful I am that they exist, as they do what they are named for. They do defend me. Once in awhile though, they are triggered by a faulty sequence, having me defending myself, when there is nothing – or no-one – to defend myself against. I can also learn to go into a specific defense mechanism because it’s come to be a habit. Serving a purpose once upon a time, but no more. Where the trigger switch is a remnant of days long gone, making me react on a faulty premise.

I like observing. Myself. Others. Individual as well as group dynamics. Sometimes it’s hard not to ache for those whos defense mechanisms no longer defends them. Quite the opposite. The defense mechanism of old has turned into a self-inflicting wound of today, triggered, again and again.

Without the power of observation and the habit of reflection (and doing gentle, by God, doing gentle towards oneself while reflecting!) it must feel like being repeatedly stabbed by a knife. Over. And over.

This has been me. I realize. As I write.

Perhaps there’s some trace of this behavior left in me… but it’s not prevalent. It’s not something which, when I look within, I can put a finger on and say Oh yeah, that thing, yes, that happens quite often. I don’t have any of those left, at least not in the way I live my life today. Perhaps there would be if my circumstances shifted. But they haven’t. So there aren’t any big ones left, so to speak. Not in me. But I do see it in others.

And it pains me. I try to stick to empathizing, as I do not want to sympathize. I do not want to pity or belittle. I try to take care of the pains I experience myself. Not always easy when I am pained on behalf of someone else. Well worth the effort though. What helps me stay centered is the adage from Byron Katie of My business, your business, God’s business. Some things are simply not mine to deal with. 

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Follow up – September 2019 – As I am.

October 3, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

September. Everything is running at full speed ahead. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a jampacked calendar as now. It’s a bit over the top, honestly. It means I don’t have the possibility to be as flexible as I normally am, and that means I cannot say yes to things I’d like to do. Hence, this is to change, and at the final week of October the jampackedness of my calendar starts to ease up, so then…

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace Meditate daily: ✅ For 71 days I have done at least three sets of Wim Hof-breathing (Found a new favorite video that I do the first 15 minutes of) as a start of the day, which is a wonderfully meditative moment, which also helps me to be in my body. Besides that, for two weeks I’ve been having a  daily Deepak Chokra-meditation moment as well. Absolutely lovely!
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: Not even once.
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: YEEEEES! The water temperature is finally getting low enough so I can actually claim I am doing cold baths. Five times in September I’ve either gone bathing in the ocean (cold baths more or less, as the temperatures might not have been below my own made up limit of 14 degrees, but it definitely hasn’t been ”summer weather”) or taking cold showers. I just love it!
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): The intermediate level C course has started with two lessons under my belt so far. It’. Is. So. Much. Fun. To. Dance. Lindy hop!
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked slightly more than 70 and biked a bit more than 240 km. I have taken action on the statement of last months summary, to get “at least 10 km in my body” on a daily basis, by adding ”Minimum 10 k today” Way of life-app where I keep track of various things (mostly because I let go of Headspace as my meditation runstreak keeper. And yes. I am nuts. My vice is runstreaks, this is a fact.)

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Have read 59/75 books and am all of a sudden three books ahead of schedule. I have Nextory audiobooks to thank for this, as this has made me listen to audiobooks instead of podcasts. However, I am a physical-book-reader at hears, and that’s a fact as well. I have blogged about Lame Deer, Seeker of Visions (book 9 of 12 in English) and Vad jag älskade (book 9 of 12 in Swedish, but I actually read and blogged about it in June already. However, I screwed up then and forgot, so I blogged about another book as well, which I ”keep as book number 6”).
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Having decided on learning Shallow, Utan mina andetag, Still haven’t found what I am looking for, Try and Annie’s song by heart during the summary of August has helped… but just a teeny weeny bit. I have only played the guitar 7 days in September, so, I repeat myself: There’s room for improvement here. This also linked perfectly to the jampacked calendar. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Have. It. Like. This. So. I had better change it then!
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: Back on track, I am now reading my daily Nepo, more or less. At long last!
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: In September I held digital sabbat three times, on 7-8th, 21-22nd and 27-28th. In October I mark off 3-6 (! Going on a choir journey – why not stay off social media and screens in general during the trip?), 10-11 and 25-26 for my upcoming digital sabbats.

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: These are the dates: 13-14 September, 28-28 October, 11-12 November, 9-10 December. Now… that didn’t really work out. Or… at least, there wasn’t much writing being done. But I did keep it top of mind, which is better than before. SWith a bit of luck and focus, next time will be better!
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it:
  • blog daily: Well… not really. 8 Swedish blog posts and 3 English ones. Far from ”daily”, Since September 27th I am back on track though!
  • start to pod: Have cut 7 episodes with 15 to go… so I had better block off some calendar time for this work as well. 19, 26, 27 September. That didn’t do the trick either. The jampacked calendar had me make other priorities. October looks even worst, so I block off 4th and 15th of November to get my pod up and running again.
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: thoughts are swirling, nothing concretized as of yet. The chances of this happening might just have gotten better as well, given the fact that I have marked writing retreats in my calendar?

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January and March and in August! Whoop! Did not in February, April, May, June, July or September (but wasn’t that far off this month).
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: ✅

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: Started the month in the same way that I finished last month, by volunteering at Backyard Sessions, have ridden the grand old-tinker lady Tinka with Pernilla at Lyckegården, been dog-sitting both Sigge (picture proof below) and Maya, ridden my bike to Malmö C at a speed far above anything I thought I’d ever reach on my oldfashioned and very straightforward three-geared ladies bike, been cultural with Heléne once again, this time EsterBlenda at Skarhult Slott – lovely! A forest- and mushroom picking experience, some wonderful cold baths and a GMP training which gave me quite a surprise. All of a sudden my doodle from the GMP-training of 2016 appeared in the presentation,  as Karen Ginsbury had found it when she was googling earlier in 2019. (If you are in the Life Science/Pharma industry and looking for yearly GMP-updates/trainings: Find a course wit Karen Ginsbury. She is outstanding!)

 

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Willing myself to write

September 30, 2019
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It’s past ten pm, I have yet to blog and finish a meditation challenge-activity as well as send off a challenging activity of my own to my digital #tankespjärn client, before I hop into bed. Pop the cat is draped elegantly across the sofa, right next to me, my guess is he’ll run after me once I get off the couch, to beat me to bed.

I am not really in blogging-mode, and yet, here I am, willing myself to write. You see, these past months I’ve not made time for blogging in my extremely jam-packed calendar, and it affects me. I ground myself when I write; I become aware of what I am, where I am, who I am when I sit down to let my fingers tip-toe across the keyboard. So the fact that I’ve been a busy bee coupled with the fact that I haven’t blogged is starting to take its toll. Blogging is a part of my wellbeing practice.

Had a friend suggest I ”just write, you don’t need to publish it”. But that’s just it. I don’t ”just write”. Or at least, way too seldom. Publishing my writings is what makes me write, especially as I have the intention to blog daily. That means I write daily, and that is of huge benefit to me.

So here I sit. Ten past ten at night, after a long day of three different networking meetings, four almost-half-hour bike rides, and both choir and guitar practice. Writing. Getting into the habit of blogging daily again. A habit that serves me.

Possibly I should take a helicopter view of my blogging routine, and set up a new set of intentions. Perhaps daily isn’t optimal? Perhaps it should be every other day, perhaps only on weekdays, perhaps… well. Who knows. For now, though, getting back on the horse again seems like the wisest thing I can do.

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Follow up – August 2019 – As I am.

September 14, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

August. For the first year in a long time I have worked quite a bit more than usual, and August has been a month filled with work.

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace Meditate daily: ✅I will change this from Headspace daily to meditate daily. After five years I have decided not to renew my headspace subscription. Daily meditations is something I intend to continue with though, rest assured! I have loved Headspace and I highly appreciate Andi Puddicombe… and yet. It’s time for something new.
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: Not even once.
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: I long for some colder water! And will continue to head down to the ocean as often as I can so that I will simply glide into cold baths in parallell with the water temperature dropping.
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): Oh yes indeed, at long last! A few dance sessions in August, and I have my dance partner Dennis to thank for getting me going! And soon the class will commence again. I can’t wait!
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked just short of 120 and bikedjust shy of 350 kilometers. Lots of kilometers in my body during August! I love it and my body does too – this past year I have had a kind of urge to get “at least 10 km in my body” on a daily basis.

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Read 49/75 books. Blogged about The Underground Railroad (book 8 of 12 in English) and Factfulness (the corresponding Swedish one).
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Guitar lessons are on again, and the realization that I have to decide which five songs to learn by heart is becoming clearer by the day. So… to make life easier for myself, I decide right here and now: Shallow, Utan mina andetag, Still haven’t found what I am looking for, Try and Annie’s song. Have jotted them down in my BuJo and have written the song titles in the weekly ToDo-columns.
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: Nope, still not fully into the routine of reading the daily text. I will put the book on my nightstand table to see if that might do the trick.
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: In August I held two digital sabbats, on August 2-3 and 9-10. In September I plan for the same on 7-8, 20-21 and 27-28.

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: Last month I blocked my calendar, and have to move the first one forward one day to the 13-14th of September. With a little bit of luck I will be accompanied by my soul sister in October! These are the dates: 13-14 September, 28-28 October, 11-12 November, 9-10 December.
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it:
  • blog daily: More or less back on track.
  • start to pod: Have cut 7 episodes with 15 to go… so I had better block off some calendar time for this work as well. 19, 26, 27 September. Check!
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: thoughts are swirling, nothing concretized as of yet. The chances of this happening might just have gotten better as well, given the fact that I have marked writing retreats in my calendar?

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January and March and in August! Whoop! Did not in February, April, May, June and July (the two latter not so surprising).
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: Getting back on track in conjunction with doing this blog post [in Swedish], as I get a kick in the butt when I read this intention. Mentally however, this is top of mind, I am much more aware and conscious concerning both income (privately it’s mostly a matter of rent from AirBnB, which has paid off the journeys of this summer) and expenses.

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: Reflecting and writing, have intense and intimate conversations, have spent an absurd amount of time with Caspian and the premier of his Sunday Service was a lovely event (Thanks Brother from another mother and the family box for the music!), a visit to Arken with Heléne, a walk from Vejbystrand to Torekov with my dear brother, Sigge the Dog visiting, lindy-hopping at Moriskan and down by the beach, a visit to Stockholm with a multitude of great meetings and a gloriously challenging weekend with the Better Globe-gang, being a volunteer at Backyard Sessions and a spontaneous disco at Saras place.A lovely month all in all!

 

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Friction

August 20, 2019
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Synchronicity. Around… Friction.

On Akimbo.
In a conversation with D and C, a conversation you just might be privy to listening in on one of these days.
With my campfire sisters, as well as in my reflection with D on that conversation we had.

And now.
As my final words of the third Mastermind-session (of 13 total) that we just wrapped up, me and my four participants.

Friction.
It makes the world move.
Without friction. No cars. No bikes. No nothing really.

We would possibly be sliding around haphazardly… might be fun. But it’s not what we have. Because we do have friction.

We even have two kinds.
There’s friction. And then there’s Friction with a capital F. Life-giving. The Friction that makes me grow, rather than just wear me down.

There’s form. And the formless.
For some, oh it’s a stretch to conform to form. Rules. Boundaries. That’s where the friction is at. Play with it. Work it. Use it. See what happens within the form.

For some, so the opposite. The formless, the vast expanse of endless possibilities. Nothing to hang onto, no given starting point. That’s where the friction is at. So play with that. Work it. Use it. See what happens within the formless.

Dance between them.
The Friction and the Frictionless. Between that which is such a stretch and that which is easypeasy.

As you dance – the event horizon for you and your relationship with the form and the formless will shift. Transform. Expand, ever onwards. Might it even constrict?

Yeah. I think it just might. And then… another transformation. Something born, which was always and already there, within you, you just had never opened that specific door within before.

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Procrastinating. Again.

August 16, 2019
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Am procrastinating. Again. And it bugs me.

So not only am I not doing that which I want to want to do (apparently I don’t, or else I would be doing it, right?), but I am also bugged at this fact, wasting an extra amount of energy on being irritated at that which I am not doing.

Geez.
What the f*ck is wrong with me?

Just do it.
Stop thinking about this or that.
Stop doing other sh*t, instead of that which I know in the long run definitely holds the most intrinsic value for me (and others!).

Just stop.

Or rather.
Just start.
Just do.

Now.
Not later.
Now.

(Ok. I read you. Signing off, to take action. On that which I want to do. Because I do! It’s just an excuse, just a ruse, me trying to play it small, avoiding going out on a limb simply because I do not know what it will become. I cannot know. No-one can. And that, in and of itself, is all the more reason to do it. Now. Bye!)

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