Tankespjärn

As something that Is.

As something that Is.

March 29, 2020
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Wrote this long post on moving my body more since I seem to be glued to my computer these days, only to realize that ain’t it for today’s post. 

You see… I just finished setting up my Patreon #tankespjärn community page.
I will press the Launch -button tomorrow.
The site is crude with plenty of room for improvement, but I will launch.
And I will tweak! I promise. There’s plenty to do – both on the community-site, and concerning other websites etc… But I do not want to be stuck polishing my phone, before I put this out there. I mean, hey, perhaps the phone needs to be polished a lot less than I imagine it has to.

So I want to get it out there, to start to play and experiment, and no longer talk about this community as if it’s something that is to happen.
But rather.
As something that Is.

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A touch of gentleness

March 28, 2020
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In much of the work I do –tankespjärn, coaching, leadership training– I use me as my go-to-example. What I write and tell stories about (in essence what #tankespjärn is about) is not something I’ve thought up, it’s something I have lived for many years, and still live. Daily.

#tankespjärn has been my life philosophy for 20+ years (even though the word came to me in 2013), and it’s been the single biggest contributing factor having me shift from being the most negative person in the world, to… something very different, if perhaps not the most positive person in the world. But not far from. So whatever it is I write or say, is what I’ve done. Myself. I know it can be done, and I know that it can be helpful.

I also know it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution that I am ”selling”, and I try my utmost to not be prescriptive but descriptive in my work. I share what has worked for me, in the hope that it might inspire you to think differently, to act differently, to try on a new trait or two to see what might come of it. Not saying you must do what I’ve done, but rather, that it’s possible to create huge shifts in inner dialogue and ways of interacting with self and others, if what’s is isn’t serving you. And I’ve yet to meet one person who’s served (truly) by all he/she/they do either consciously or unconsciously.

I’ve learned how to be gentle (with an edge) towards myself, after having an internal dialogue hijacked by a combo of Hitler/Mao/Stalin, and in this era of an epidemic of harshness (not speaking about Corona…), the opportunities that open up when people learn how to treat themselves gently –self-honoring– are just limitless.

A little bit goes a long way, as a touch of gentleness, teases out even more gentleness, and soon enough, you’ve unlearned harshness and learned gentleness.

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Heed my own advice

March 26, 2020
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My idea to start a community for #tankespjärn has me feeling (at least) two things.

The first is the rush, the thrill, the excitement at sharing, at creating, at shipping. At making something of this brainchild of mine, of challenging myself by jumping headfirst into something which I’ve never done before (and being Swedish, I take the stance of Pippi Longstocking: I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.). I know what I know, and what I don’t know, and eagerly look forward to the learning I know will come my way.

I like that feeling. It’s a good feeling.

The other one. Not so much. It’s the one saying What? You’ll never be able to have a #tankespjärn-community lift off. No chance. Why on Earth do you think anybody would be willing to spend money on #tankespjärn? On you? Forget it, right now! And do not even dare to start the ball rolling, because it will be embarrassing for you, when no-one shows up to support you and your work, because that would be the only reason they would ever do it in the first place. Because there’s no way it could be of value to them, and I don’t even know what makes you think there would be?

I don’t like this feeling. It’s not a good feeling at all.

So what to do?

Well.
Heed my own advice is a good start.

Meaning, know that these two different sets of feelings are generated by two different streams of thoughts within. And neither feeling is True, in the sense that neither feeling is a given. I don’t have to feel one or the other, neither is the correct or only way to feel about this situation, but rather two possible ways of feeling which I happen to feel.

Important note here. I am not saying it’s wrong for me to feel what I feel. I feel what I feel. Period. However, I do not have to be dictated by those feelings, regardless if I like them or not. When I feel something, I acknowledge what I feel, know the feeling is a direct result of thoughts I have, and can ask myself: How does this serve me?

Feelings are, for me, warning bells. Indicators telling me when I am headed down a deep hole, informing me I’d better get back up the road again. That’s the message the second feeling brings me through the discomfort it generates within me: You can continue thinking and feeling this, but what good will it do you? How will it serve you? Do you want to act based on the fear of what might happen if you start a community, or do you want to move through it?

And I think you know what my answer is.

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Ever since I was born

March 25, 2020
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That cliffhanger.

Time to latch on: I want to do something other than what I’ve been doing for the past 5-7 years when it comes to my creative side, in how (and why?) I share my voice. I have my two blogs, the one in Swedish and this one in English, and even though I write more or less daily on either one of them, I want something to shift. I want to create a space for a community of sorts, a community of people willing to generously participate in receiving and giving #tankespjärn

There’s plenty of free material/content on my blogs, my pod, on Instagram etc. But I want to give more. Material which dives deeper and invites you to both give and receive #tankespjärn. But also to take part in deeper conversations, around Being and Becoming, on what #tankespjärn might mean for you in living your life, on learning to actively seek the event horizons of life. 

I have a Patreon-site in mind and have something of value to offer. I know there’s value to be had. And at the same time, that nagging little shaming voice within tells me to stop immediately, there’s no way anyone would subscribe to this, you haven’t thought it through enough, you need to wait, and prepare much more for it, and plan for how to do what when, and….

But hey. 

I have prepared for it. Ever since I was born, I have prepared for this. In 1999 when I was left by my then-husband while being 9 months pregnant, I started the journey for real, but way before that, I started preparing for this. 

I know my stuff.
I have a fair inkling of what I don’t know as well, which is why I want the community.
I want the opportunity to learn and grow, to evolve and expand, in relationship with others.

And if I don’t Do, there’s no way of knowing if it will work, is there? 

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I do now.

March 20, 2020
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When I think back and – gently – lay my eyes on Helena of the past, I can see the strain. The harsh inner dialogue. The insecurity, the lack of self-honoring, the constant belittling of myself. Not thinking I was good enough, never ever good enough. Knowing, somehow, that I’ve lots to give (as we all do), but not knowing what, not knowing how (to birth it), not being in touch with it.

I do now.

My inner dialogue has changed completely. I am gentle with myself today, gentle with an edge. #Tankespjärn provides that edge. (And it’s along the edges the magic happens.) Having learned to do #tankespjärn, to humbly receive it, to generously gift it to those who are interested, I have had such a pivotal shift in life, from being the most negative person I’ve ever encountered… into something completely different. Perhaps not the most positive person alive, but heck, I sure do have a hard time staying pissed, annoyed, angry, for longer periods. And most often, I am in full acceptance of what is, instead of wasting my energy on refusing to accept what is.

From this point of acceptance, I can create. Freely.
Reshape what is, into what it can and wants to become.

#tankespjärn is the essence of this pivotal shift of my life, which has me Live today, not simply go through the motion. That’s why I want to share it, with anyone who wants to receive it.

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Throw the hat!

March 19, 2020
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Stop thinking! Start doing!

That was the message I got in a mastermind-session a month ago.

You’ve been thinking too long, it’s time to throw the hat and commit.

And it’s true. That’s what I need to do.

Like I did last summer, when my coach Dave during a coaching session challenged me to throw something out there, and revert in 15 minutes to the session. That turned out to be my first proper Mastermind-class which I gave weekly starting in August of 2019, running for three months. It turned out lovely, and I truly enjoyed it, as did the participants.

If Dave hadn’t challenged me to throw that hat (sending the invite to 10 handpicked people I’d love to have participate in my Mastermind), I would not have done it. And that would have been my loss. Truly.

So whyyyyyyyyyy don’t I throw the hat for #tankespjärn?

And yeah. I know. It really doesn’t matter why.
What matters is that I do it.

So.

.

.

.

.

.

…cliffhanger.

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Tankespjärn. Say what?

March 18, 2020
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Tankespjärn.
It’s a Swedish word, but not an official one. You will not find it in any thesaurus, but rather it’s a word that utilizes one of the most fun aspects of the Swedish language, namely the ability to merge any (?!) two words into one.

Tankespjärn consists of two words.
Tanke which means thought.
Spjärn which means… to resist, to brace against, to use as a starting point upwards/onwards. Sort of. There actually isn’t any one translation that accurately describes what I mean with the word spjärn in this context.

This is what it sounds like (click on the word): tankespjärn

As a word-mashup, tankespjärn – for me – points to those moments where you hear or see or learn about something, and your face scrunches up, and you go Huh? because what you just heard, saw or learned simply doesn’t fit within the framework of your current understanding of reality.  And whenever I describe it, my hands fly up towards my face and I twist them in opposite directions as if I am wringing water out of a large towel held between my hands. Only, that imaginary towel is my brain or something…

In a sense, it’s about providing you with an opportunity to step into a new perspective, a new way to understand the world, somewhat like a door opener. Which is an apt analogy because once that door is opened… I can choose to enter. Or to close it again. To step away from the possibility, or to step into it. (But it sure is hard to forget about that door, leading to something; a something which, once it’s been revealed, even if I chose to let the door slam shut without entering will always be there, like the tiniest little pebble in your shoe, impossible to ignore.)

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