Tankespjärn

Buddhas by the roadside

Buddhas by the roadside

April 7, 2020
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I don’t know how many times I’ve sat in complete rapture listening to Dominic tell a story, or debunk a book, or guide me through a connection of dot’s that I wasn’t anywhere near connecting. More than once, I’ve wished I were recording it, wanting to share his insights, his wisdom, his deep knowledge of more areas on human existence on Earth than I can name.

Then there’s Caspian. Such a dear friend of mine, popping ideas right and left, and generously inviting me to tag along for the ride. Wise well beyond his years and yet, young enough to introduce new vistas of human existence in my life in a completely different way to how D does it, and never shy of telling me when I am off base in one or another way.

I love them both and love spending time with them. And since the fall of 2019, we’ve been doing just that, recording our conversations. However, we’ve never really gotten around to figuring out how to put this out there, or when… and then: Global pandemic strikes.

And there are no people I would rather sit with, talk with, engage with and receive tankespjärn from, than these two. So, that’s what we’ve been doing. We’ve recorded a number of conversations, which all have the corona-virus as a common denominator, but let me tell you, these conversations take the most wondrous routes, passing through such topics as Process Work, salt and slavery, the economy of Modern Man, Georgism and the Commons, and so much more.

And we said, sod it. Let’s not figure out precisely how to put this out there, let’s just do it. So that’s what we’ve done. The Corona Conversations by Buddhas by the roadside, are available on most pod players (or will be very shortly, I know Anchor and Spotify are up edit: now on Apple/Podcasts, and the rest are soon to follow!), and I would urge you to take a listen. Start with the one from March 14th, 2020, because that’s where we started this. And then – well. It’s up to you. Keep listening, or turn us off, your choice. But at least, give us a listen, at least if you are ready for some serious tankespjärn!

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A basic requirement.

April 2, 2020
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When I launched my English website I started a series of Doing gentle-posts, and the first one read like this:

My first step to awareness of how I was treating myself was the insight that I wasn’t gentle towards me.

And that I could be.

During a therapy session many years ago, my therapist saw me treating myself with mental boxing gloves, and pointed it out to me.

Why are you so hard on yourself? she asked.

I was flabbergasted.

Because in asking, she implied there was another option. And I just had not seen that, had not known that.

So I asked Don’t I have to be?

She smiled her sweet and gentle smile at me and told me how she would have handled the situation we’d just been discussing.

I broke down in tears, exclaiming I didn’t know that I don’t have to be harsh towards myself.

I truly didn’t know that gentle was available to me.

Do you? Do you know, deep within yourself, that you can be kind and gentle towards yourself?

I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today –regardless of the arena– if I hadn’t learned how to be gentle towards myself. In a sense, it is the very base that #tankespjärn rests on. It’s one of the basic requirements for being able to truly use the power of tankespjärn in your life.

You do gentle. Then you add “the edge”, which for me, is #tankespjärn.


Become a part of wonderfully deep conversations on how to grow, explore, find –what you need to find, grow and explore– while I share how I work with my tool #tankespjärn, that lets your thoughts and ideas receive a special mix of support, resistance, questioning, feedback – and cheering on!
 
If you are into co-creations and out of the box-ideas and realizations – this is a good space to be in. Join to find out more about tankespjärn!
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Twisting and turning.

April 1, 2020
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It’s a little bit funny (I hum) that sometimes clarity comes when someone else explains your offering (whatever it might be), using their own words, and it just all falls into place. That’s what happened when Katarina Felicia Lundgren, in her words, described what the #tankespjärn-community on Patreon is, can and will be:

My friend Helena Roth has now opened her page #tankespjärn at Patreon –come and join her community– you will be part of a wonderfully deep conversation on how to grow, explore, find –what you need to find, grow and explore while Helena shares how she works with her tool –tankespjärn– that lets your thoughts and ideas receive a special mix of support, resistance, questioning, feedback – and cheering on!

If you are into co-creations and out of the box-ideas and realizations – this is a good space to be in. Join to find out more about tankespjärn!

I have yet to get really clear on how to succinctly describe the concept, the tool, so getting a blurb like this one from a word-smithy of rang such as Katarina, definitely helps me get clearer on what it is, and how I can describe it to others. Because the word itself isn’t much help, especially not for non-Swedish speakers, but even for them, it’s not a given.

And what I really like about this, is that even this part of the process is tankespjärn. The way I twist and turn words and my understanding of the concept in order to get at something that might –or might not– be communicable, with a driving force of curiosity (What will I learn? Who will react how to what types of descriptive phrases?) and playful experimentation (What if I do it this way, or that way?).

If it’s not apparent, I assure you, I am having great fun with all of this!


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
Join!

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Stumbling. Fumbling.

March 31, 2020
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What to do now?
What to write on the Patreon site?
How to start to engage my early adopters, the first handful of Patreons who have stepped up, stepped in, and are ready to dance? 

Stumbling.
I am.

Fumbling.
I am.

Unsure.
I look at this. Nah.
At that. No way.
Discard the third thing and then…

What would your response to yourself be if you saw this time as an invitation to dance?

I get this response from Sue Heatherington in The Creative’s Workshop, and it has me relax, exhale, laugh a bit at myself, and start to dance. And all of a sudden, I’ve posted my first post in the brand-new #tankespjärn-community. And there’s more to come!


It –the #tankespjärn-community– is for those who wish (be it consciously or just through some type of itch) to discover.
More. Other. New. The multiverse available to us all.

It’s all about you. About your very own personal starting point, whoever and wherever you are.
You are a person who would benefit from reflection, from observation of self and the world around you, from discovering habits and patterns of old and asking (not once, but regularly) how or if they still serve.

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It Is.

March 30, 2020
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It is!

I did press Launch (but not today, I actually launched it last night, thanks to two fellow TCW:ers kicking me very lovingly in the butt. 💚), and all of a sudden… there’s the feeling of being slightly embarrassed. Feeling a bit awkward. As if I am already second-guessing myself. Shouldn’t I have put more effort into it after all? Perhaps I shouldn’t promote it until I can get a better introductory video made, and have gotten a bit more material up on the site, and…

But, once again, I have a choice.
A choice of whether or not to put my focus on these thoughts and their corresponding feelings, or not.

And I choose not to. I feel it –heck, I’m even letting these thoughts step up and get their moment in the spotlight right here, right now– but that’s enough. I have better use for my energy than to waste it beating myself up over any imagined faux pas of mine. 

Because the truth is this: It Is. 

The #tankespjärn-community is now a reality.
I hold the space, and I opened the space.
But everyone is invited to dance.

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As something that Is.

March 29, 2020
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Wrote this long post on moving my body more since I seem to be glued to my computer these days, only to realize that ain’t it for today’s post. 

You see… I just finished setting up my Patreon #tankespjärn community page.
I will press the Launch -button tomorrow.
The site is crude with plenty of room for improvement, but I will launch.
And I will tweak! I promise. There’s plenty to do – both on the community-site, and concerning other websites etc… But I do not want to be stuck polishing my phone, before I put this out there. I mean, hey, perhaps the phone needs to be polished a lot less than I imagine it has to.

So I want to get it out there, to start to play and experiment, and no longer talk about this community as if it’s something that is to happen.
But rather.
As something that Is.

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A touch of gentleness

March 28, 2020
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In much of the work I do –tankespjärn, coaching, leadership training– I use me as my go-to-example. What I write and tell stories about (in essence what #tankespjärn is about) is not something I’ve thought up, it’s something I have lived for many years, and still live. Daily.

#tankespjärn has been my life philosophy for 20+ years (even though the word came to me in 2013), and it’s been the single biggest contributing factor having me shift from being the most negative person in the world, to… something very different, if perhaps not the most positive person in the world. But not far from. So whatever it is I write or say, is what I’ve done. Myself. I know it can be done, and I know that it can be helpful.

I also know it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution that I am ”selling”, and I try my utmost to not be prescriptive but descriptive in my work. I share what has worked for me, in the hope that it might inspire you to think differently, to act differently, to try on a new trait or two to see what might come of it. Not saying you must do what I’ve done, but rather, that it’s possible to create huge shifts in inner dialogue and ways of interacting with self and others, if what’s is isn’t serving you. And I’ve yet to meet one person who’s served (truly) by all he/she/they do either consciously or unconsciously.

I’ve learned how to be gentle (with an edge) towards myself, after having an internal dialogue hijacked by a combo of Hitler/Mao/Stalin, and in this era of an epidemic of harshness (not speaking about Corona…), the opportunities that open up when people learn how to treat themselves gently –self-honoring– are just limitless.

A little bit goes a long way, as a touch of gentleness, teases out even more gentleness, and soon enough, you’ve unlearned harshness and learned gentleness.

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Heed my own advice

March 26, 2020
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My idea to start a community for #tankespjärn has me feeling (at least) two things.

The first is the rush, the thrill, the excitement at sharing, at creating, at shipping. At making something of this brainchild of mine, of challenging myself by jumping headfirst into something which I’ve never done before (and being Swedish, I take the stance of Pippi Longstocking: I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.). I know what I know, and what I don’t know, and eagerly look forward to the learning I know will come my way.

I like that feeling. It’s a good feeling.

The other one. Not so much. It’s the one saying What? You’ll never be able to have a #tankespjärn-community lift off. No chance. Why on Earth do you think anybody would be willing to spend money on #tankespjärn? On you? Forget it, right now! And do not even dare to start the ball rolling, because it will be embarrassing for you, when no-one shows up to support you and your work, because that would be the only reason they would ever do it in the first place. Because there’s no way it could be of value to them, and I don’t even know what makes you think there would be?

I don’t like this feeling. It’s not a good feeling at all.

So what to do?

Well.
Heed my own advice is a good start.

Meaning, know that these two different sets of feelings are generated by two different streams of thoughts within. And neither feeling is True, in the sense that neither feeling is a given. I don’t have to feel one or the other, neither is the correct or only way to feel about this situation, but rather two possible ways of feeling which I happen to feel.

Important note here. I am not saying it’s wrong for me to feel what I feel. I feel what I feel. Period. However, I do not have to be dictated by those feelings, regardless if I like them or not. When I feel something, I acknowledge what I feel, know the feeling is a direct result of thoughts I have, and can ask myself: How does this serve me?

Feelings are, for me, warning bells. Indicators telling me when I am headed down a deep hole, informing me I’d better get back up the road again. That’s the message the second feeling brings me through the discomfort it generates within me: You can continue thinking and feeling this, but what good will it do you? How will it serve you? Do you want to act based on the fear of what might happen if you start a community, or do you want to move through it?

And I think you know what my answer is.

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Ever since I was born

March 25, 2020
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That cliffhanger.

Time to latch on: I want to do something other than what I’ve been doing for the past 5-7 years when it comes to my creative side, in how (and why?) I share my voice. I have my two blogs, the one in Swedish and this one in English, and even though I write more or less daily on either one of them, I want something to shift. I want to create a space for a community of sorts, a community of people willing to generously participate in receiving and giving #tankespjärn

There’s plenty of free material/content on my blogs, my pod, on Instagram etc. But I want to give more. Material which dives deeper and invites you to both give and receive #tankespjärn. But also to take part in deeper conversations, around Being and Becoming, on what #tankespjärn might mean for you in living your life, on learning to actively seek the event horizons of life. 

I have a Patreon-site in mind and have something of value to offer. I know there’s value to be had. And at the same time, that nagging little shaming voice within tells me to stop immediately, there’s no way anyone would subscribe to this, you haven’t thought it through enough, you need to wait, and prepare much more for it, and plan for how to do what when, and….

But hey. 

I have prepared for it. Ever since I was born, I have prepared for this. In 1999 when I was left by my then-husband while being 9 months pregnant, I started the journey for real, but way before that, I started preparing for this. 

I know my stuff.
I have a fair inkling of what I don’t know as well, which is why I want the community.
I want the opportunity to learn and grow, to evolve and expand, in relationship with others.

And if I don’t Do, there’s no way of knowing if it will work, is there? 

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I do now.

March 20, 2020
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When I think back and – gently – lay my eyes on Helena of the past, I can see the strain. The harsh inner dialogue. The insecurity, the lack of self-honoring, the constant belittling of myself. Not thinking I was good enough, never ever good enough. Knowing, somehow, that I’ve lots to give (as we all do), but not knowing what, not knowing how (to birth it), not being in touch with it.

I do now.

My inner dialogue has changed completely. I am gentle with myself today, gentle with an edge. #Tankespjärn provides that edge. (And it’s along the edges the magic happens.) Having learned to do #tankespjärn, to humbly receive it, to generously gift it to those who are interested, I have had such a pivotal shift in life, from being the most negative person I’ve ever encountered… into something completely different. Perhaps not the most positive person alive, but heck, I sure do have a hard time staying pissed, annoyed, angry, for longer periods. And most often, I am in full acceptance of what is, instead of wasting my energy on refusing to accept what is.

From this point of acceptance, I can create. Freely.
Reshape what is, into what it can and wants to become.

#tankespjärn is the essence of this pivotal shift of my life, which has me Live today, not simply go through the motion. That’s why I want to share it, with anyone who wants to receive it.

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