always and already

With or against the natural flow of things?

With or against the natural flow of things?

May 22, 2020
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Thinking about the difference between working hard versus efforting, I am reminded of a story about surfing that I first heard Michael Neill share at Supercoach Academy in 2014.

Doing hard work, going deep within, giving it ones all and showing up, is similar to what a skilled surfer does. She paddles out to sea, spots a wave coming in, positions the board and starts to paddle like craaaaazy, in order to be at the right spot at the right time, ready to go with the flow, be lifted by the wave, using all the energy the universe is throwing at her to move forward.

Paddling out to sea requires a lot of energy, paddling to be in position for the wave does too, and even riding that wave and keeping her balance requires energy. But it’s all in the flow of what is already and always there, underneath, above, below, in front…

Now. Imagine this surfer trying to work a g a i n s t the flow of the water. Paddling in the opposite direction when the wave is coming. Now that would be efforting, or trying too hard, or, phrasing it differently, not working with what is already there. Working against it, rather than using it to be lifted high on top of that wave crest.

Trying too hard – efforting – has me working against nature, against that which wants to help me, to assist me, to have me spot the flow of things.

That’s one way to spot the difference between working hard versus efforting. There is, always and already, a natural flow of energy in everything. And life can be hard enough, without me going against the natural flow of things. So I try not to.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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The bond we share

April 17, 2020
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There’s always connection. That’s the default. It is not something we have to create, to work hard at, to make happen.
It is there. Always and already.

And yet… with some, there’s more connection.
With some, there’s a knowing, a depth, a strength, that goes above and beyond.

It can only be, if it is mutual.
It is not enough for one party to feel this. Not possible.
It has to be felt by both.

Since 2015 I have been acting legal guardian for unaccompanied minors, and my first ever minor is still with me.
And boy is he with me. The bond we share is one of those. The one with more.

(Just to paint the picture for you, I am legal guardian, which does not mean that he lives with me. I am not responsible for day-to-day care but rather my role is to ensure his rights are protected, that he has someone who looks out for him with regards to being granted residency, citizenship, proper schooling and the likes.)

We met up today. It doesn’t happen that often, but today there was some official business to be done. We had a lovely couple of hours together, with lots of talk and laughter. As we said goodbye we hugged (yes. In Coronatimes. We did. We always do, and it’s always on his terms.). I whispered I am so happy I got to be your legal guardian. He strengthened his grip on me and responded.

So am I.

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Calm to be had.

March 27, 2020
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Last week as I stepped into the cold water of the ocean off the coast of Malmö in the south of Sweden, I had my phone with me. I’ve a habit to do that, now and again, as I record myself going in, staying in, sharing my experiences with cold bathing. What came out of my mouth that crisp spring afternoon, with sunshine and blue skies, as I was standing in the water, which, just like the air was around five degrees Celsius, was this: There is calm to be had.

The world has turned upside-down, for so many. A global pandemic is raging, and I fear that we’ve just seen the beginning of it. Cities, counties, countries and companies are closing down in varying degrees, and whatever was normal, no longer is.

And.
With all that going on.
There is calm to be had.

It’s easy to not experience calm right now.
I know that.
I see that.

I also know it’s equally easy to experience calm.
I know that.
I see that too.

There are many things I have no say in.
What my government is –or is not– doing. Whether or not the school my youngest attends will stay opened or not, and what will happen next, neither locally nor globally.
No. Say.

But there are many things I have a say in.
In what I choose to do with my days. How I spend them, regardless of external constraints. What I read. What I listen to. What interactions and conversations I engage in. If I seek out Drama, or not. If I stick to routines (as best I can) that serve me and my wellbeing.
If I show compassion and care. To me. And you. And us.
A. Say.

There is calm to be had.
And it matters whether or not I choose calm. Or not.
Because I matter. Just as you matter.

Can I always choose calm?
Yes. I can.
But I don’t.
Because I am human. And so are you. And that’s the way it should be.

The choice is still there though.
There is –always and already– calm to be had.

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Picked a card

December 25, 2018
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Picked a Be the change-card. Got Courageousness

It resonates.

Given what is to come, which I’ve started to really know thanks to my new coach, and our (so far) three conversations, courage is a wonderful companion. I have to – want to! – embody courage. Be it. Show it.

Sensing into the card, courageousness is the willingness to be it, with it being anything. To be afraid and still act. To feel ashamed and still speak up. To feel small and not let that feeling stop me from stepping into that which is, always and already.

Always and already, Dominic says. And I love it.
Always and already courageousness is there. Is here.
Am I acting on it? Am I in touch with it? Am I present to it?

FB Live #55 🇬🇧🇺🇸- Picking a cardMore on the #BeTheChangecards here: https://helenaroth.com/be-the-change-cards-and-guidebook/

Publicerat av Helena Roth Måndag 24 december 2018

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