ask

Doing gentle – 15 – Who’s rules are they?

Doing gentle – 15 – Who’s rules are they?

April 24, 2016
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Who’s rules are you trying to live by? Your own? Your parents? The trend-setters in school? The unwritten rules of the society you are a part of, all the should’s and must’s as well as the should and must not’s?

Ask yourself. ask
What is the rule?
How is it important to you? Why?
How does it affect you and the life you lead?
Is it a rule you agree with, or would you rather it didn’t exist?
Or would you simply rephrase it somehow? How?

Again. Awareness is the thing.
Awareness that there are rules, unwritten ones, that you have internalized during your upbringing, that can have a profound effect on your life.

So when you hear yourself tell yourself this cannot be done, that must not happen, oh no, you can’t wear that, don’t eat ice-cream for breakfast or whatever… ask yourself: why not?

Perhaps you will find a really good reason why not. Perfect. Perhaps you will find an equally good reason for doing it, despite the rule. Perfect. The point is to become aware. Not to act without reflecting, living a life by rote.

Ask.
Why not?

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Dare to ask!

January 28, 2016
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I’m discovering something new about myself as I’ve begun to play a game in my coaching, which also means I am pushing my edges by asking for things I’ve never even dreamed of daring to ask. And I discover lots of things as I do this.

pushing at the edge

Firstly that the edge (within me, the one saying “No Helena, you most definitely cannot ask for That!“) I perceive is a figment of my imagination, created by thought, but it is not and will never be the Truth, something real. It’s made up.

Secondly that I don’t die for asking. No matter how much my inner voice tries to tell me I must not ask for outrageous things. On the contrary actually. Asking makes me feel as if I live even more. And it makes me laugh, as the made-up-edge is pushed a bit further within my imaginary world.

Thirdly it’s a great way to collect No’s. That may sound very strange, but listen to this: Yes lives in the land of No. So if I go in search for the No’s, and even cherish them when I meet them, I’ll gladly go in search for more No’s. And you know what? Somewhere within all those No’s there will be a Yes. And the more No’s I collect, the more Yes’es I’ll encounter!

So, here’s to me asking and asking and asking some more, discovering where my edges are and challenging them, cherishing every No I meet along the way!

What are you afraid of asking for?

Welcome to my new website!
Since 2012 I have blogged over at herothecoach.com and this post is a sample of what I’ve been writing over the years. I hope you enjoy this #ThrowbackThursday, originally published here, and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts.
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