ask

Ask – Listen, to and with All of Me – Act.

Ask – Listen, to and with All of Me – Act.

December 23, 2020
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The bottom line: Expanding my yearly intention to more fully encompass what I perceive it to be about, it now reads Ask – Listen, to and with All of Me – Act.

Upon waking, I realized that there’s more to say about my winter solstice 2020 to winter solstice 2021 intention. 

When I write listen, I mean listen through all the ways I am open to taking in information. Through my ears, yes, but also using those other most common senses, sight, smell, taste, touch. But it goes beyond that. I can listen using my intuition. My intellect. My heart (oh yes, my heart!). My gut sure speaks loudly sometimes, as does my back, my feet, my head. And there’s proprioception, thermoception, baroreceptors and any number of other ingeniously designed sensory detectors spread throughout my body. 

So. Yes. I do mean listen, to All of Me.
I also mean listen, with All of Me. 

What D also helped me see yesterday (Oh my. Only yesterday? Feels like forever and a day ago, and yet, as I sit here, I have not seen/known this for more than 24 hours.) is how there’s an unlearning-process taking place here, needing to take place here. To be able to listen to all of me, with all of me, there are filters composed of restrictive believes to remove. There are dampeners in place that makes it oh-so-hard to hear vital signals, misconceptions as to what signals actually mean, and most likely, a lot of debris to clear out of the way, in order for all signals to be able to reach me. 

Ask – Listen, to and with All of Me – Act.

As I sit with this, my feeling is that yearly intentions of years gone past have been more outward facing, about me for sure, but more with regards to how I am perceived by others, at least in my mind. This one, feels completely different, even though, paradoxically enough, perhaps this intention will impact those around me more than any intention I’ve committed to before.  


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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2020 – Winter solstice – 2021: Ask – Listen, to All of Me – Act.

December 22, 2020
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C has been asking me, every two weeks or so, for the better part of the past few months Do you know what your intention for the year will be next year? I kept answering No, it hasn’t come to me yet, and But I can sense something, it’s slowly revealing itself to me. 

Then I woke up Monday the 14th knowing. I grabbed a small postIt-pad I keep on my bedside table, and wrote:
Intuition. Ask me. Embody. Listen. Books. Food. Activities. 2021. 21th. 

I texted C and told him I had it, the intention for the upcoming year, and that I was gonna make a shift, from starting my year on the first of January, to going with the energy and presence of sun. So I will be starting the intention of the upcoming year, today, the 22nd, the first day after the solstice, i.e. the longest day of the year, ending it on the 21st of December of 2021. 

The day after this intention came to me, I had a session with D.
I told him about it, as being about me doing the following: Ask – intuit – listen – act

D being D, he asked me what I meant with intuit, and when I expanded upon it, he helped me see that in essence, what I mean is this:

For the next year, I want to integrate all parts of me, my intuition, my senses, my felt experiences, my intellect and rationality, all of me, learning to play the instrument that is me better, fuller, learning when to do more of intuition, when to go all in with my intellect and so on. This has me leaning in to all of me, to ask, and then to listen, very carefully and closely. 

Given all of that, my intention for the upcoming year is to Ask – Listen, to All of Me – Act.

I can see a number of ways this will inform me.
What to eat. When to eat. When to get off the sofa to dance and move my body, how and when to move, when to go to bed, what book to read, film to see, person to call, when to step into a conversation and when to stay out of it. In a sense, I see it as me connecting any doing on my part more closely to the being of me. That the doing I will be doing, will be informed by my being, all of my being, and I hope to both calibrate and fine-tune my ability to hear, truly hear, what all of me has to bring to the table. 

You see, with a strong Upholder-tendency, my issue is not to adhere to commitments (to name but one, today I did my 2319rd day of morning-Seven’s) but rather, to not push myself into doing because I said I would. Sometimes, yes, absolutely. But I can push too hard, too far, to the detriment of me, and I want to practice self-honoring instead of self-punishment. In a sense, I am leveling up with regards to doing gentle with an edge, something I’ve learned how to do over the years. Now, I am taking it up a notch. 

So.
For the next year, the mantra that will be the lighthouse guiding me, ever onwards in expansion:
Ask – Listen, to All of Me – Act.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Doing gentle – 15 – Who’s rules are they?

April 24, 2016
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Who’s rules are you trying to live by? Your own? Your parents? The trend-setters in school? The unwritten rules of the society you are a part of, all the should’s and must’s as well as the should and must not’s?

Ask yourself. ask
What is the rule?
How is it important to you? Why?
How does it affect you and the life you lead?
Is it a rule you agree with, or would you rather it didn’t exist?
Or would you simply rephrase it somehow? How?

Again. Awareness is the thing.
Awareness that there are rules, unwritten ones, that you have internalized during your upbringing, that can have a profound effect on your life.

So when you hear yourself tell yourself this cannot be done, that must not happen, oh no, you can’t wear that, don’t eat ice-cream for breakfast or whatever… ask yourself: why not?

Perhaps you will find a really good reason why not. Perfect. Perhaps you will find an equally good reason for doing it, despite the rule. Perfect. The point is to become aware. Not to act without reflecting, living a life by rote.

Ask.
Why not?

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Dare to ask!

January 28, 2016
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I’m discovering something new about myself as I’ve begun to play a game in my coaching, which also means I am pushing my edges by asking for things I’ve never even dreamed of daring to ask. And I discover lots of things as I do this.

pushing at the edge

Firstly that the edge (within me, the one saying “No Helena, you most definitely cannot ask for That!“) I perceive is a figment of my imagination, created by thought, but it is not and will never be the Truth, something real. It’s made up.

Secondly that I don’t die for asking. No matter how much my inner voice tries to tell me I must not ask for outrageous things. On the contrary actually. Asking makes me feel as if I live even more. And it makes me laugh, as the made-up-edge is pushed a bit further within my imaginary world.

Thirdly it’s a great way to collect No’s. That may sound very strange, but listen to this: Yes lives in the land of No. So if I go in search for the No’s, and even cherish them when I meet them, I’ll gladly go in search for more No’s. And you know what? Somewhere within all those No’s there will be a Yes. And the more No’s I collect, the more Yes’es I’ll encounter!

So, here’s to me asking and asking and asking some more, discovering where my edges are and challenging them, cherishing every No I meet along the way!

What are you afraid of asking for?

Welcome to my new website!
Since 2012 I have blogged over at herothecoach.com and this post is a sample of what I’ve been writing over the years. I hope you enjoy this #ThrowbackThursday, originally published here, and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts.
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