belittle

Sure didn’t hold it in!

Sure didn’t hold it in!

May 13, 2020
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And for sure, I did not hold it in.
Not while prepping at the library.
Not while holding the webinar.
Not while riding my bike home afterward, high as a kite on endorphins.

You see, I did good!
I did really well at the webinar I held last night. Supported by two colleagues with tech and general cheers, it went really well, and it felt great!

And you know what else feels great?
Being able to see that I did do good, and that I willingly acknowledge the fact that it did. That I did.

There’s no shortage of people bashing themselves for not doing good enough, for failing, for not living up to – most often unreasonably set – expectations. They come in all shapes and sizes, and I have most definitely been amongst them for many a year!

I rarely do that anymore, belittle myself, put me down, beat myself up (internally).
I don’t see the point of it.

That doesn’t mean I cannot see areas where I could have done better. I can definitely see where there’s room for improvement.
Yesterday there was at least one major slip-up from my side, where I can improve next time if there is one. But that’s something else, that’s not me putting myself down. It’s rather me patting myself on the shoulder, saying Well done Helena! while at the same time being open and discerning to pick up on what I can tweak to do even better next chance I get. Bearing witness to the potential that exists in me (and in you!), the growth opportunities that are always and already present, calling for me to expand, to play, to experiment, to push at my own edges. Finding my optimal growth-zone, that zone that I so love.

I did not hold back.
And I did good!


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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The generous thing is asking for help.

May 5, 2020
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Yes. The generous thing is asking for help.

And. Of course, this can be misused, everything can be misused!

So if you are a person asking for help a lot, when you ask, why are you asking?
What’s your reason? What’s your rationale? Is it a habit you’ve gotten into, a way to get out of taking responsibility for your own life? Is it a way to skirt your issues, your fears, your perceived inadequacies? In a sense, is you asking a way for you to hinder yourself (unconsciously) from growing, from learning, from expanding as a human being? A way of belittling yourself? Or is it truly because you’ve done the work, and are asking when appropriate, which I wrote in yesterday’s post as well? If so, yes, yes, yes, the generous thing is asking for help!

And if you are a person constantly asked to help, when you help, why are you helping?
What’s your reason? What’s your rationale? Is it a habit you’ve gotten into, a way to get out of taking responsibility for your own life? Is it a way to skirt your issues, your fears, your perceived inadequacies? In a sense, is your helping a way for you to hinder yourself (unconsciously) from growing, from learning, from expanding as a human being? A way of belittling yourself? Or is it truly because you’ve done the work, and are helping from a place of you taking responsibility for answering/helping truthfully, which I wrote in yesterday’s post as well? If so, yes, yes, yes, the generous thing is helping!

These aspects are really important to take into consideration

Based on a knowing that people are holding themselves (self-)worthy, (self-)responsible and (self-)honored, regardless if asking or helping, or in any other situation, I am much freer to Be in the world without taking on what is not mine to take on (There’s my business, your business and God’s business, to quote Byron Katie). This knowing might well be called an assumption. And I am not prone to liking assumptions, given that assumptions are the mother of all fuck-ups, and yet… this might well be one of those instances where it actually does serve me.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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