bliss

Share your pain

Share your pain

March 30, 2019
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Share your pain, he said.

I nodded, saying Yeah. I know. I do.

His turn to nod, agreeing.

Because that is what I do. I share my pain. Or rather. I share what I am. Where I am. The feeling of the moment. Right here. Right now. Be it pain, bliss, fear or subtle joy. I share, what I am. Where I am.
And I have, for many years now.

This is one of the results of me blogging daily since 2013. Have gotten used to writing about what I see. What I feel. What I am. What I observe. What I struggle with. What I rejoice in. What I feel ashamed of. What I dread.

Photo by Anders Roos: http://www.andersroos.nu/

 

Life, as it is.
Is.

Not how I would like it to be.
What norms say I should want it to be.
What convention has me fobbing it off as.

As. It. Is.

So yeah.
There’s pain.
Bliss.
Grief. Fear. Joy.
Excitement. Thrill.
Sadness and anger.

All of it.

In one great big mess… just like life.
As. It. Is.

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Bliss.

October 1, 2018
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“Female sensuality”, Helena Roth. Created at a “Paint Mandala”-class (Måla Mandala) with Lisa Withlovelisa Rislöw, the day before a weekend class on Playful tantra (Lekfull tantra), given by Charlotte Cronquist, the following reflection written after day one.

Presence.
Closeness.

Finding me.
In your eyes.
Seeing and being seen.
In my yes. My no.
Lucidity is kindness, as always.
To breath; rebirthing, opening up, energies in flux. Loudly.

Body contact.
Hands caressing my body, soft as a feather.
The strength of an arm holding me close.
Letting my enjoyment be seen, heard.

Speaking out loud, my inner wish.
What I desire. Right now. With you and noone else.
To speak. Be granted my wish. Speaking another. Granted, yet again.
Daring to let go.
Daring to let me ask for, be granted, receive.
Revel.
Simply being with it. Being with.
Sensuality.
Caresses.

Not taking responsibility for anyone but me.
I. Here. For me. Not you.
You. Here for you. Not me.
In the space in between, We are created.
Multiple We’s.
Shifting. Growing. Weaved together, by laughter, eye contact, touch.

Shares. Laughs.
Truth and lies; more laughter. Frivolous and heartfelt, all at once.
That which is significant, and that which is insignificant.

Elemental massage. Like earth, fire, water, air, ether.
Heavy. Earthed. Grounded. Powerful. Well needed.
Surprised. Sweeter to receive than give, which gives me permission after the fact, for what I gave. Like a winter swim: tingling skin, awakened, alive. Blood flowing through my veins.
Rippling, sparkling. A moment of grace.
Softly, softly. Caressed by hair, by breath, by the outermost part of the fingertips. More, give me more!
Caressed by energy, by the force field generated by closeness and presence, even without physical contact. There is so much more to us, we reach far beyond our physical bodies.

The gift.
That I do. Dare. Let myself.
Give. Receive.
The exquisite thrill, heartfelt and real, far from ABC.
The amount of pleasure available to us in life, far beyond what I ever knew, dared, understood, thought myself able to.

Beginning to understand.
Bliss!

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