compassion

Calm to be had.

Calm to be had.

March 27, 2020
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Last week as I stepped into the cold water of the ocean off the coast of Malmö in the south of Sweden, I had my phone with me. I’ve a habit to do that, now and again, as I record myself going in, staying in, sharing my experiences with cold bathing. What came out of my mouth that crisp spring afternoon, with sunshine and blue skies, as I was standing in the water, which, just like the air was around five degrees Celsius, was this: There is calm to be had.

The world has turned upside-down, for so many. A global pandemic is raging, and I fear that we’ve just seen the beginning of it. Cities, counties, countries and companies are closing down in varying degrees, and whatever was normal, no longer is.

And.
With all that going on.
There is calm to be had.

It’s easy to not experience calm right now.
I know that.
I see that.

I also know it’s equally easy to experience calm.
I know that.
I see that too.

There are many things I have no say in.
What my government is –or is not– doing. Whether or not the school my youngest attends will stay opened or not, and what will happen next, neither locally nor globally.
No. Say.

But there are many things I have a say in.
In what I choose to do with my days. How I spend them, regardless of external constraints. What I read. What I listen to. What interactions and conversations I engage in. If I seek out Drama, or not. If I stick to routines (as best I can) that serve me and my wellbeing.
If I show compassion and care. To me. And you. And us.
A. Say.

There is calm to be had.
And it matters whether or not I choose calm. Or not.
Because I matter. Just as you matter.

Can I always choose calm?
Yes. I can.
But I don’t.
Because I am human. And so are you. And that’s the way it should be.

The choice is still there though.
There is –always and already– calm to be had.

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#blogg100 – Infinite space.

April 10, 2017
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“We have already had to think anew so many concepts of motion, we shall also learn gradually to realize that it is out of mankind that what we call destiny proceeds, not into them from without. Only because so many did not absorb their destinies and transform these within themselves as long as they lived in them, they did not recognize what went forth from them; it was so alien to them that they believed, in their bewildered terror, it must have just entered into them, for they swore that they had never before found anything similar in themselves. As we have long deceived ourselves about the motion of the sun, so we still continue to deceive ourselves about the motion of that which is to come. The future stands firm, dear Herr Kappus, but we move about in infinite space.”

tender handsIt is out of (hu)mankind destiny proceeds, not into them, but out of them.

Yes.

We create today, tomorrow, and the future beyond. Each of us, individually, and each of us, collectively.

It simply does not happen. We make it happen, as we move about in infinite space.

We.

MeYouWe make it happen.

I hear people ask, bewildered, why the generosity, warmth, kindness and compassion, that was rampant on the streets of Stockholm on April 7th 2017, seems to spike at times of great need. Asking why it is not always so. Listen to Rebecca Solnit in On Being, and you will know. Both why it happens as it does, and why it doesn’t happen with it doesn’t. And know that it can. Because it is out of mankind destiny proceeds, as Rilke writes to his young aspiring poet-pen pal.

It can happen. If we want it to.
Both individually and collectively we can live out of a place of great compassion, for one another.
We can. Let’s.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 41 of 100.
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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Being gentle to me – Reflection April ’16

April 25, 2016
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There is a sacredness in being gentle. If done deliberately, in full awareness.
Gentle. On purpose. A fundament. To life.
To a life well lived, as opposed to a life where one simply survives.
Gentleness. Compassion. Grace. Kindness.

My discovery of gentleness – of learning not only how to be gentle to myself, but starting from scratch with understanding that it’s an option. That being gentle to me a choice that I have – in the way I think of it today, is something I’ve grown into, this past quarter of my life. I am grateful for the discovery of gentleness, which has led me to so many insights. So many.

As a result of this discovery, I am free to explore and uncover. I get to be curious about all things, within as well as without. And I learn. I listen. Ask questions, and reflect on answers. Feel. Experience. Live. Upon discovering being gentle, to me, I learned to lavish the world with it.
Gentleness. Compassion. Grace. Kindness.April reflection

And the concept of gentleness pops up, everywhere. Over and over. In conversations, in podcasts I listen to, articles, books, songs, quotes.
Over and over.
Gentleness. Compassion.
Grace. Kindness.

And then.
Then there are the places where I spot the absence of it.
The absence of gentleness.
A void. Something is missing that is needed, a necessity; leaving me in dire straights. It’s as if I get short of breath. Gasping for air, but there’s too little of it.

Gentleness. Compassion.
Grace. Kindness.
Can we live without it?
Can I? Do I want to?
Is life worth living without?

Welcome to my humble abode, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. I will be reflecting on a monthly basis on what that means to me, in the moment, and this is one of those reflections. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future reflections.

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On compassion

March 17, 2016
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compassion

Continuing my collaboration with Sus and her marvelous ladies, prompted by a query from my coach on yesterday’s doodle on judgement. She read what I’d written and added: …and practice self-compassion for our sweet, humble humanity when we notice we have “fallen into judgment” yet again….

She continued with wondering what my compassion sketch would look like, and that thought crept into my conscious mind during this morning’s meditation. So I brought out my IPad, Paper and Pen, and started doodling. A few botched attempts, and then I sent the text above out into MIX. Send a note to Sus asking if she was up for another collaboration. She said she’d gladly give it a go, and immediately got it right, with little Miss Balancing-Act above.

That’s what it can feel like for me, balancing in life. Putting one feet out in front of me, not knowing if I’ll wobble and fall, or stand steady, ready for the next foot to move ahead. But the real balancing act is about meeting both situations (the wobbly as well as the steady journey ahead) with compassion, for me, and for everyone else.

Realizing how I’m not the only one stumbling through life – occasionally falling down, sometimes in a flow – but this goes for everyone. We are all balancing our way through life. All of us. 

Now, there’s a thought to sit with…

Since 2012 I have blogged over at herothecoach.com in both Swedish and English and this post is a sample of what I’ve been writing over the years. I hope you enjoy this #ThrowbackThursday, originally published here, and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts.

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