dictator

#blogg100 – Observe yourself.

#blogg100 – Observe yourself.

April 12, 2017
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“Do not observe yourself too closely.
Do not draw too rapid conclusions from what happens to you;
let it simply happen to you.”

Yes.

But also – No! A strong and resounding No rising from within the depths of me, reverberating in my entire being.

Perhaps my fervent opposition to Rainer Maria Rilkes two sentences is his use of the words observation and drawing conclusions, without using also the word judgement. Because there is nothing that has helped me as much to Live life as it happens to me, as the ability to observe myself. But here’s the clou: To observe myself, without judgement. Rilkes “rapid conclusions” in my mind is to do with making judgements.

chainsOnce I learned to observe myself (which for me means the ability to bear witness to myself, to all that I am experiencing, while simultaneously seeing what I am experiencing – I am in it, but at the same time outside of it) and fully understood that whatever I am thinking isn’t Truth, but rather a filter which shapes the experience of the world I am in, life changed. Oh how it changed! It became possible for me to let life happen, without me having to fight it each and every inch of the way. No longer shackled to the harsh voices within.

Because simultaneously, my inner Judge and Dictator lost its power over me and my life. He could be shouting at me (I often liken him to a combination of Hitler/Mao/Stalin. Perhaps a bit dramatic, but hey, that’s what it felt like to be me), the same things he’d been shouting at me for years on end, relentlessly, and all of a sudden… I was able to let it be. To avoid engaging with it. To avoid the conclusions stemming from an internal dialogue telling me You are so dumb!, You should have known better! and Why on earth would you ever do something that stupid, haven’t you learnt anything?.

Once I stopped paying attention to the harsh inner dialogue of mine, the tone of it shape shifted, into something that gradually turned into the ability to be gentle towards myself. And from that place, whatever happens to me, as I am living my life, is easier to handle with grace, come what may.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 43 of 100.
The book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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Doing gentle – 3 – Notice my inner chatter

January 31, 2016
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doing gentle 3 bwHave you picked up on the tone of your inner dialogue? I have. I used to have a dictator within, I remember it as having been a mix of Hitler, Mao, Stalin… And it was awful. Horrendous. Harsh. Evil. Mistrusting. Sadistic. Unrelenting and cruel.

But yeah. I wrote used to, because this is no longer the tone of my inner dialogue. I no longer experience this inner dictatorship. A faint echo of it might show up from time to time, but in no way close to what it used to be like, being me.

Today, my inner voice is gentle. Encouraging. Loving. Kind and appreciative. Playful even, and really curious. With a strong urge to experiment and discover, to expand, learn, evolve. So even if the echo of my inner dictator sometimes comes a-knocking, I greet it with a gentle curiosity, wondering what brought it here this time around. What the message might be, if there’s something to learn?

I often ask coaching clients what the tone of their inner dialoge is, and all but one have replied that it’s generally holds a harsh tone. All but one, out of a hundred, at least. Strange isn’t it. We seem to live in a culture that tunes our inner tone into a harsh one. Why is that? And why not re-tune it?

What’s the tone of your inner dialogue?

(And note! If the answer is harsh. You don’t have to be harsh on yourself because of it. Just notice. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just become aware. Step one, remember!)

Welcome to my new website, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I will be sharing thoughts on how I do gentle, and this is the third of those. I hope you enjoy it and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

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