doing

Peace is being in touch

Peace is being in touch

June 11, 2020
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What is PEACE for you? What does it mean? Do you care?

Peace.
Hm.
Good questions.

Peace for me is different, depending on whether or not I am looking within or without.

Within, peace is me being in touch – in knowing – with my wellbeing, regardless of how stormy it is, inside or out.

I’ve likened it to snow globes, you know those little glass sculptures found in souvenir shops, with the skyline of Manhattan, or the Taj Mahal, or…? I used to need the snow to settle to experience myself to be in touch with my wellbeing. Not so anymore. Now I can know it, be it, regardless of how heavily that snow globe is shaken. My wellbeing is always and already at hand, and knowing it, knowing that, brings me a great sense of peace.

Without, peace is… respect?!
I mean. When I treat others with respect, and when I am treated with respect, that brings the same sense of peace. We might not agree on everything, but that’s not an issue, if we, through respect, can be and do with each other anyway. Makes sense?

Writing this, I am discovering how I haven’t thought about what peace means for me given the without-perspective, even close to how much I’ve pondered and reflected upon the within-perspective.

But… maybe… without, peace is also about being in touch?
Being in touch with others’ wellbeing, besides my own?

Perhaps it is a good time to spend some time thinking about peace.
Thinking. Then…
Becoming.
Followed closely by Doing.
(Or perhaps… the other way around?
Doing. And then Becoming.)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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calling out for mama

June 6, 2020
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She showed me the trailer to American son on Netflix, and in no time at all, I asked if we couldn’t watch it. So we did. Had us frustrated, irritated, annoyed, upset and shocked.

Then a friend in The Creative’s Workshop discovered Stabat Mater, the piece Jens Bragdell Eriksson, my choirmaster, wrote in 2016 for my choir. Listening she wrote, having me put the album on myself, so I can listen knowing she’s doing the same, on the other side of the world. Together, at a time like this. Important. Vital. Rejuvenating. 

American Son.

Stabat Mater.
At the Cross her station keeping,
stood the mournful Mother weeping,
close to her Son to the last.

And George Floyd calling out for his mama, before dying.
(Click this link. Read it. Promise me, you’ll read it. Then come back here.)

The synchronicity of it hitting me hard.
Parents. Children.
Death. Dying.
Life. Living. 

Trying to make sense of experiences I cannot possibly experience, asking when I don’t, taking in the differences in what it is to be human, in someone else’s body. 

There’s so much to learn, and I intend to continue learning.
Listening. Reading. Watching. Conversing. Asking. Writing. 

Being. And Doing.

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#blackouttuesday

June 2, 2020
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On this #blackouttuesday as I sit here, trying to take it all in, reading some (not a lot), watching some (not a lot), listening some (not a lot), I come back to this:

Attention energizes.
Intention informs.

To what do I give my attention?
What do I want to see more of in this world?

How am I being informed by my intentions?
What’s my learning like?
How can I expand it, go beyond, stretch myself, crossing edges as yet not crossed by me, helping me learn more, see more, grasp more?

And then… turning the energizing attention, and the informed intention into action.
That’s how change is made, by Being the person Doing the work.

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Me-time. Be-time.

May 15, 2020
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Woke early. Tossed for a bit, and then turned on the light and finished reading The End of the Ocean by Maja Lunde, a book which in Norwegian and Swedish is titled Blue. (Yes. A very worthwhile read.) Did a Deepak Chopra meditation prior to my 15 minutes of deep-breathing according to Wim Hof, before getting up, accompanied throughout by Pop the cat. Finished with the morning routine and went to grab my computer to put it in my backpack when I remembered…

I prompted myself to get back to morning blogging late last night, and so. Here I am.

Ready to leave for work, with a slight headache, the type of slight hangover-sensation-from-working-too-much-headache, that has been a shadowy companion for the past few weeks, when, indeed, I have been working a bit too much.

And yet.
I love it.
Living.
Learning.
Laughing.

There’s a lot of work to do right now, and for that I am truly grateful, and yet, I should take my own advice and look just a wee bit at what I could possibly subtract.
Work? No.
Wim Hof, meditation, Seven-exercise, cold bathing and such? No.
Buddhas-podding? No.
Gardening? No.

Or rather. All of these I say Yes to, vehemently Yes!

Now. I could continue listing all of my Yes:es. But I won’t. There’s a-plenty, that’s for sure.
But the interesting thing is, that as I sit here… I struggle to find even one thing I want to give up, to pause, to stop. Forever, or just for a while.

(And yeah. I know. I did this exercise not too long ago. But hey, bear with me. I’m still learning, and am definitely but a human being, having a very human experience here on Earth, so… now and again, it takes a couple of tries before insights truly land. By which I mean, that the shift they imply, whatever it may be, is actually implemented. By Being. By Doing.)

Tried what I did last time – opened up my calendar and deleted a few activities from it – but alas, there’s not a lot to delete… like. Nothing. Honestly.

So perhaps it’s more a matter of finding the balance within the project I am working at the moment, where we are in a very intense phase at the moment, a phase that will last at least until the first week of July. Refraining from checking my emails as often when I am ”not at the office”? Getting a bit more diligent with my digital sabbats? Ensuring I have resting time, me-time, be-time, more than I do now?

Yeah.
That might be worth looking into and taking action on (ironically, as the resting time in a sense implies less action-taking).

But hey. It’s 8:20 am, and I have done my daily blog! Whoop!
(Celebrate what you can, when you can – what a great mantra to bring into daily life!)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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You bring the world into being

April 16, 2020
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You bring the world into being, he said, D, my Buddha-friend. You bring the world into being.

He wasn’t addressing me, nor my other Buddha-friend C. But rather, at least that’s what I picked up, that I/you/we, bring the world into being.
The world is on account of my consciousness. On yours. On ours.

Even though we were in the middle of another pod-recording of Buddhas by the roadside, I took up my phone and wrote down you bring the world into being in my to-do-app, simply because it was the quickest way I could jot it down. As I did not want to forget.

Hearing this –you bring the world into being– I exhale. Relax.
(Then scramble for my phone to write it down, before getting back to the relaxed sensation again.)

This is why when the being infuses the doing, there’s magic.
Because I bring the world into being.

But I am curious.
What do you hear when you hear you bring the world into being?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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The lesser known cousin

March 21, 2020
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The Law of Attraction.
Sure does work. Can cause serious shifts within.

But.

It’s seldom enough.
Needs to be coupled with it’s less known cousin The Law of Action.

Now we’re talking.
When the two of them get together, that’s when magic can truly start to happen.

When Doing is infused by Being, and Being is infused by Doing.

Have you ever been there?
If so, what happened? How did it feel?
What was born from that place?

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Earth Overshoot Day 2019

July 29, 2019
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Every year, the Earth Overshoot Day, i.e, the day when we (on a global scale, all of us, together) will have used more resources from nature than the earth can renew in the whole year. In 2019 that date is July 29. That would be today, as I am writing this.

However.
I live in Sweden. Our national overshoot day occurred April 3rd. To quote overshootday.org, the national overshoot day is the date “on which Earth Overshoot Day would fall if all of humanity consumed like the people in this country.”.

April 3rd.
Not a lot to be proud of there.

It’s tricky, though.
To mention something like this, and instill inspiration, hope, drive, and willpower in people – not always the outcome is it? More often it might result in resignation, a sense of impending doom and the common “there’s nothing I can do anyway, so why even try”.

The #movethedate-initiative of the Overshoot organization, a solutions platform intended to share solutions of various kinds as well as connect people with one another, feels especially relevant to counteract that. I hope, more than anything, that this is something that will be looked at by individuals, organizations, businesses, local communities and national governments alike. We need the policy-makers on board, just as we need me, and you, and everyone else on board. Together!

Because this seems true to me: it’s not a matter of One Thing that will “save the planet” as it were (which in and of itself is oxymoronic. It’s not the planet that’s at stake. It’s humanity. Will humans as a species survive, that’s what’s at stake. And a whole bunch of other species, for sure, animals and plants alike.). It’s not a question of either-or, it’s a matter of both and.

What can I do, or stop doing, in order to have an impact?
What can you do, or stop doing, in order to have an impact?
What can we, together, do, or stop doing, in order to have an impact?
What can the society we live in do, or stop doing, in order to have an impact?
What can we, humanity at large, do, or stop doing, in order to have an impact?

I don’t know about you, but off the top of my head I can come up with plenty of things to do, or stop doing, many of which I have already implemented, and my friends, neighbors, fellow citizens as well. We need to continue. I need to continue, doing that which I know has an impact. And I need to – but more importantly, want to! – continuously try on new things to do, or stop doing.

Plant trees. That’s one of the things I do and will continue doing because I know what a huge impact it has.

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Doing. Being. Causing pain?

February 26, 2019
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Back pains again.
Desperately trying to figure out what to do to stop the pain, as well as ensure it doesn’t return.

Got valuable help from the one and only D once more, suggesting I look less at what to do, and more at what I am doing and how I am being it.

Still. Struggled with it.
Frustration and pain. Horrible pain.

Two full days at a customer site – long days.
Busy evenings at that.

So this morning (after 4 full days of pain) I relented and rescheduled a meeting I had this evening, giving myself an evening of rest with an added bonus-online therapy session with D as well. Got to my customer – and an hour before lunch I suddenly noticed: pain gone.

Just like that.

The appearance of these back pains has me looking within, with invaluable help from D. And I have to say, I humbly bow down to those who suffer constant bodily pain. It’s hard to avoid giving my backpain my entire focus, even though I know that’s the best way to ensure I suffer the pain all the more.

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A languorous few hours

November 16, 2017
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languorous hours in bedHere I am, still in bed. It’s a quarter past eleven, I’ve been awake for three and a half hours, but have yet to leave bed for the day. I’ve done my daily Headspace meditation; have read a bit, written some more; all the while listening to Peaceful Piano on Spotify.

One of those days which is mine, with no planned activities, no urgent Musts to deal with, a lot of Wants though – but this, allowing myself a languorous few hours, of doing mostly nothing really, just chilling, hanging around, relaxed, probably even lazy.

Oh how wonderful life is! Giving myself this gift of a few languorous hours of Being, with no requirement of Doing. Whatever does get done, does so out of pleasure and curiosity; Doing:s just for the plain fun of it!

And in case you wonder – no, I really don’t hear the monkey mind chattering away inside, filled with impatience, highly annoyed at this self-indulgent waste of time that could be put to better use. It might be chattering away…. but if so, it’s white noice that goes by unnoticed. And honestly I don’t think it’s there. Even the life of my inner monkey mind has gotten to be a lot more relaxed as years have passed and my experience of life has shifted along with my growing skill of being gentle with myself.

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I stand accused

July 14, 2017
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I realize how difficult it is to be human together, to relate to one another, especially when language and culture creates barriers that make us falter, stumble, thread carefully, for fear of harming, of confusing, of misunderstanding.

It’s not a great feeling, to be accused of wrong-doing. But each is entitled to their view, and as their experiences are shaped by their current state-of-mind, I am the first to see beyond my initial reaction, and spot the world view underlying the accusation.

standing accusedKnowing I don’t set out to harm, to expose, to do wrong. I don’t. I might do it, anyway, because of my own fallibility, exposed to situations new to me, unsure of what’s the best route ahead. Finding my way, slowly, as if I was stepping barefoot into a stream, threading on sharp rocks, carefully making my way forward. Sometimes needing to retrace my steps, because the path ahead turned out to be a dead-end, filled with sharp stones I cannot make my way across. Hurting, cold water, cuts and bruises from the stones, and yet. I keep on walking. There’s nothing else to do. I have come to far to turn back, and yet, I have not come far enough to actually see the light at the end… Not knowing what my next step is, I pause, gather myself, and while exhaling, gently feel my way forward, inch by inch, all the while trying, still, to stick to my core value: wanting to make a positive imprint, to make a difference. 

The older I get the more I realize the importance of grounding myself in what that means. For me. Finding out, by trial and error, what it entails. How I do it. How do I make a difference? How do I make a positive imprint? Learning from my mistakes, fine-tuning actions and intentions, being ever more precise in my language, minimizing the risk for mishaps and misunderstandings. But never seizing to act. Never to stop doing, for fear of doing wrong, of standing accused. I’d rather do, and be accused, than not do, and risk ending up at the end of life, regretting what I did not do, when I could have; regretting not speaking my truth, when I had the opportunity.

So here I stand, accused, knowing I would do it again if I had the chance.
I might do it slightly different, but not for the fear of being accused of wrong-doing, but for what I have learned in the process.

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