empathy

Beyond the regrets of the dying

Beyond the regrets of the dying

May 28, 2017
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in Tip
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regretsPodcast-Sunday. Yet again. And I don’t know what to write about, what to recommend. Not because there’s not a lot of options – I have listened to hundreds of podcast episodes I’d gladly share with you, on any given day. But today, I am feeling vulnerable, naked, bared to the bones. And I don’t know how to match my sentiment with a podcast recommendation… something I don’t have to do. But I want to. Truly. So after giving it some thought, I gift you with Bronnie Ware on Good Life Project: Beyond the 5 regrets of the dying.

*deep sigh*

I think I’ll just leave it at that… no, wait, I don’t want to send you off to listen to Bronnie Ware and Jonathan Fields with a sense of despair and possible pending doom.

*taking a deep breath, gathering strength*

Perhaps you’ve heard of Bronnie Ware, the palliative carer who tended many dying people, and finally sat down to write about their top regrets, and the lessons Bronnie learned from their lives. It went viral, with good cause. The top five regrets were as follows:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is not what the conversation centers on though. You can read the blog post, or the book, if you want to delve deeper into these regrets, and possibly take stock of your life, and how you are faring in each of the five.

What Bronnie and Jonathan are in conversation about goes above and beyond these life lessons. Bronnie tells the story of her somewhat unusual childhood, sharing visions of endless dark and starry nights, of silence and empathy, and of letting come that which wants to come, which is precisely the state I am in right here, right now. Letting go, in order to let come that which wants to come.

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one.

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What we focus on becomes our reality.

November 9, 2016
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What do we know?

One thing and one thing only: Donald Trump won more electoral votes than Hillary Clinton, and hence will *barring unforeseen circumstances* be the next president of the United States.

Will it be a disaster? The end of the world as we know it?
Will Trump build a wall along the Mexican border, stop muslims from entering the US and put a ban on free trade by imposing high taxes on goods from China and Europe?

We don’t know.
Because none of it has actually happened. It’s definitely not happening now, right this minute. But given the outrage and horror, it might as well have. But it hasn’t, not yet.

And yes. It might happen. For sure. But it’s also possible (perhaps not probable, but definitely possible) that it might not happen.

We. Just. Don’t. Know.

And no. I see no good in Trump becoming POTUS, that’s for sure. I have a hard time taking the guy seriously, and for the life of me, have a hard time understanding how the Republican Party ended up where it’s at right now. But still. Nothing has happened, yet. So why waste a lot of energy focussing on what horrible things we think might happen? Why not put that energy to better use instead?BoldomaticPost_What-we-focus-on-becomes-our

Welcome your feelings of horror, despair, anger, frustration, of being scared for what might be. They will come anyway, because they are a part of the human experience on earth. We feel. The entire spectrum. All that is possible to experience, we experience. But you can let the feelings that don’t serve you particularly, wash over you, and continue on their way. You don’t have to invite them in, make up the guest bed and serve them dinner. That’s a choice you can make. Because, and this is important: What we focus on becomes our reality.

So make sure you focus on that which you want to see in the world, rather than what you don’t want to see. What we give energy to, grows stronger. Chose wisely and with great care, given the state of the world right now, what to feed with your attention – my choice is love, cocreation, playfulness. Honesty, care and empathy. And many many other things, that all make up parts of what constitutes living a good life in my view.

What do you chose to give energy to?

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