essence

opening the spirit within us to the spirit of what is

opening the spirit within us to the spirit of what is

October 26, 2020
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The bottom line:
”…opening the spirit within us to the spirit of what is.”
Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening, for October 26.

Blank.
Woke up.
Boiled some water, while doing a Seven with pelvic focus. Jiggling around, back, forth, a spine-wiggle or two. Or three. Side to side, in eights and in circles. Wakes my body up. Slowly and gently, I move on lighter feet to the bedroom.
Drag the covers from the bed, lie down on my sheepskins, with my butt up against the bed, feet on top, as if sitting on the side of the bed, back against the floor.
Do my Wim Hof breathing exercise, three rounds, simultaneously doing the Walkfeeling starter-move, opening up, aligning, getting hips and legs and back all working together.
Get up off the floor, drag the covers back into bed, bunching the pillows behind my back, I sit down, with iPad in hand.
Getting ready to write, I space off into the distance, not knowing what to write.
Nothing really comes to me.
Drink my now-lukewarm water, picking up The Book of Awakening, to read the entry of the day.

Blank.
So I do what I have a habit of doing.
This.
Writing down where I am, what I’ve done to get here, and all of a sudden.
There I am. (Or here?)
The fingers start to fly across the keyboard, dropping words upon words on to the screen.

Is there value in this?
For me? Yes. I think so. No.
I know so. Letting it, whatever it is for the day, flow out of me, holds value.
It’s an acknowledgment of being here. Of being present to what is. Observing myself, my surroundings, my emotional and mental state, I at once land here. Grounded. And at the same time, it’s freeing. Opens a door for my mind to go walk-abouting, skip-skipping along like a little child, uninhabited by the shoulds and musts of the day, of life. Simply being. Showing up and noticing what shows up. Responding to it. (The blankness. There. Here. And me, dancing with whatever and whoever comes knocking on the door.)

For others? Yes. I think so.
And No. I wouldn’t presume to say I know so. I do not k n o w if this is or can be useful to anyone else. What I do know is that me sharing what goes on within me, within this quirky brain and body of mine, often seems to resonate. Not with everyone (never my desire. I am not for everyone.), not even with many (how do I define many?) but most definitely with some. A few. (And those few. I do write, ship, share, for you. For me, yes. But also for you. Because this is another dance that I actively choose to engage in. The dance between me and the unknown. The unknowns?)

I have a few different Pages documents available to me when I plonk down in bed, ready for my morning writing. I have my so-called Morning Pages (which have never been what Julia Cameron describes, not for me. Most of what I put in that document shows up on my blog. Not ’for my eyes only’, because writing ’for my eyes only’ doesn’t seem to work for me. It’s not where the magic lies. For me.), a practice I started in 2016 (opened my Morning Pages from 2016, scrolling through parts of it. Oh my. There’s stuff there, unfinished stuff, snippets of me, that I never did return to, as intended. All of my Morning Pages documents are filled with them. Always thinking I’ll get back to them, ”finishing” it all. Never have. Never will?). There’s The Depth(s), containing my deep dive into shame, created on August 22nd, 2020, and at the moment, most often my go-to-starting point for my morning writings. Then there’s a recent addition, a document containing writings for a blog I just started, another blog. (An anonymous one.)

Sometimes, I know just what document to open, because I know what wants to come out fits specifically into one or the other of these documents. Other times, something comes out onto one document that doesn’t belong there. Like this.

I opened The Depth(s) today, and upon putting finger to keyboard, when blank came to me and I kept on, I knew, this text needs to be moved to my Morning Pages of 2020 because this text isn’t a part of the deep dive.

And I like that.
I even love it.
How I am adhering to the practice of writing, but not to having to write something specific, if something specific doesn’t come to mind.
Being open for what is, what wants to happen, what comes out of me. Through me.

A recent addition to the writings of my Morning Pages is the bottom line, which I can never write beforehand. It comes when all is done, all is out, and I look through it, trying to find the essence of the post. This is a practice that challenges me, in more ways than one.

First, to remember to do it.
Second, to actually find the essence. Not always easy.
Third, to capture that essence, in a sentence or two. Not always easy either.

Aaaaah.
Deep inhale, exhale.

Picking up The Book of Awakening, reminded of the entry of the day, I find it. The essence of this post. And with that. I am done. With writing. For now.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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The note from heaven (book 4 of 12)

April 28, 2019
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in Tip
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“[…] getting closer to authentic expression, deeper into the music. Away from the ego, into the soul. Finding balance between the chaos of feelings and the dictates of the intellect. Disappearing somewhere between these two states, and growing from that place through the music.”

At the No Mind-festival in Ängsbacka the summer of 2018, I attended a workshop with Githa Ben-David on the note from heaven, and was enthralled. A roomful of people all singing on Aaarh, to their inner note from heaven (or at least aiming for it), for half an hour, that was energizing, let me tell you!

“That which touches the heart is never boring.
We come up against the same truth again and again. It is the essence that is important, not the story itself.”

Then I found out she’s married to Lars Muhl of The O Manuscript, this magnificent book-reading experience of mine, and was even more curious. So I bought her book: The note from heaven, by Githa Ben-David.

“When your light shines, you activate the light in others, and help them to remember that they are complete beings.

Anybody can shine! It is a matter of choice. If you wish to set your light free, then you need to unfold your wings. Let the wind carry you, and be prepared to land on both feet so you can fulfil your destiny on earth.”

I tried explaining to a few friends what The note from heaven is all about… and failed. I couldn’t find the words to explain or convey what this is all about. In short, it centers on the fact that everything is vibrations, truly e v e r y t h i n g. This means that with vibrations we can start to resonate, and dislodge, free, liberate, old memories and traumas, that stop us from shining our light into the world, shining fully as that which we are.

And this resonates enormously with me. It’s synchronicity in the making for me, as I stumble upon shine over and over again. It comes up, in conversations, in comments, in my dreams and the words I write and speak.

“When you find a form of expression that brings you joy, you will naturally wish to share it with other people This is a spiritual law: joy is like fire. When you pass it on and it is accepted, it spreads.”

Instead of trying to give this book the credit it deserves (besides the content and the essence of the story: The language. It is beautifully written!) when I fumble for words, I let the quotes speak for themselves. If they resonate with you, and you get curious about sound-healing, pick up the book!

“Open your arms so that you can contain as much light as possible. Receive everything that is given to you. The more you shine, the better you can serve the all. Pure energy flows like water, catches fire, spreads like love. It must be passed on. If you push it away, you lose it. If you hold on to it, it will be taken from you.” 

Shine on, you crazy diamond! Shine on.
And I, I will shine on right beside you.


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2019, to read and blog about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, one every other week, books that I already own.

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