Sure didn’t hold it in!

Sure didn’t hold it in!

May 13, 2020
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And for sure, I did not hold it in.
Not while prepping at the library.
Not while holding the webinar.
Not while riding my bike home afterward, high as a kite on endorphins.

You see, I did good!
I did really well at the webinar I held last night. Supported by two colleagues with tech and general cheers, it went really well, and it felt great!

And you know what else feels great?
Being able to see that I did do good, and that I willingly acknowledge the fact that it did. That I did.

There’s no shortage of people bashing themselves for not doing good enough, for failing, for not living up to – most often unreasonably set – expectations. They come in all shapes and sizes, and I have most definitely been amongst them for many a year!

I rarely do that anymore, belittle myself, put me down, beat myself up (internally).
I don’t see the point of it.

That doesn’t mean I cannot see areas where I could have done better. I can definitely see where there’s room for improvement.
Yesterday there was at least one major slip-up from my side, where I can improve next time if there is one. But that’s something else, that’s not me putting myself down. It’s rather me patting myself on the shoulder, saying Well done Helena! while at the same time being open and discerning to pick up on what I can tweak to do even better next chance I get. Bearing witness to the potential that exists in me (and in you!), the growth opportunities that are always and already present, calling for me to expand, to play, to experiment, to push at my own edges. Finding my optimal growth-zone, that zone that I so love.

I did not hold back.
And I did good!

#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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As something that Is.

March 29, 2020
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Wrote this long post on moving my body more since I seem to be glued to my computer these days, only to realize that ain’t it for today’s post. 

You see… I just finished setting up my Patreon #tankespjärn community page.
I will press the Launch -button tomorrow.
The site is crude with plenty of room for improvement, but I will launch.
And I will tweak! I promise. There’s plenty to do – both on the community-site, and concerning other websites etc… But I do not want to be stuck polishing my phone, before I put this out there. I mean, hey, perhaps the phone needs to be polished a lot less than I imagine it has to.

So I want to get it out there, to start to play and experiment, and no longer talk about this community as if it’s something that is to happen.
But rather.
As something that Is.

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I write. But not lyrics. Yet?

February 9, 2019
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I write.
Not as much as I read. But I write.
Since August 2012 in the form of blogging, before that (and also after) more writing at work… the number of routines, and test protocols and reports of various kinds I’ve written during the years, you’d not want to know, neither would I.

This will be my 2105th blog post (Swedish and English, the latter 20% of the total), and I intend to continue blogging as long as I find value in it. It serves me, and I enjoy it. So I write and will continue writing.

Recently, a glimmer of an opportunity to write lyrics have arisen, and I wonder… how to write lyrics? Lyrics first, and then someone will put music to it? Or music first, and I put lyrics to it? Can I? Should I?

Smile at me, shake my head a bit, and know full well that the answer is this:
Try it. Experiment. Play with it. See what happens, how it unfolds, if there’s something there – it will become obvious. If not, that will also become obvious. Why make it harder than it has to be?

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2019. As I am.

January 1, 2019
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As I am. 

I asked my friend D to translate “gown off” into Swedish. “Gown off” popped up in my first conversation with my new coach. I described the general feeling of that conversation, and somehow D managed, as so often (always?), put words to that which goes unspoken.

So all of a sudden, “gown off” turned into “as I am”, which feels spot on. This is how I step into 2019, filled with energy and curiosity, with champagne bubbles coursing through my entire body, eager and ecstatic to experience all that is to come, “as I am”. Naked. Raw. Intimate. With power and pleasure.

2019. The year when I will…
* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees
  • Headspace daily
  • run a minimum of  75 runs
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!)
  • continuing to ribe my bike and walk as much as possible

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about.
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it
  • blog daily
  • start to pod

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself!

2019. Here I come. As I am. Gown off! 

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#blogg100 – More in common than not.

March 10, 2017
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“We found out we had a lot more in common than what kept us apart.”

Synchronicity. Do you remember a blog I posted not too long ago, with a quote by Ted Kennedy?

“What divides us pales in comparison to what unites us.” 

Read those two sentences, again.
Close your eyes. Breathe in… and out.

unites usAnd simply sit with it: we are connected. All of us. And when I focus on that which unites, over that which divides, it makes for a totally different experience of life.

Hey – that’s an experiment worth trying perhaps? Actually taking one day, to focus on what divides me, from each and every person I meet. Oh, my body cringes at the very thought of that, I can already feel how pissed off I will be throughout that day. Because divisive thoughts drive me farther away from people, from the warmth of those around, into a cold and lonely, miserable place. I am not tempted at all! Are you?

And then to do the opposite – taking a day to focus on what unites me, from each and every person I meet. Oh… that starts to bubble within me, the energy of it already putting a smile on my face! Most definitely a tempting experiment. For you as well?

If anyone is up to the challenge – please let me know what you find out. What serves you best? What makes you light up, what closes you down? How do you show up in the world, when coming from divide and unity respectively? And what are you met with, when your focus shifts from one to the other, what’s the energy transmitted and received? And what happens if you try it out, first with people close to you, and then with those whom you feel farther from, in world view? Shared humanity – is that what unity brings closer to us?

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 10 of 100.
The book “Hope in the dark” by Rebecca Solnit.
English posts here, Swedish at

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Doing gentle – 37 – Experiment!

September 25, 2016
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Do you experiment?
In life? At work? In relationships? With yourself? Alone, or together with others?

experimentI’ve not understood the importance of experimentation until just a few years ago. And I have areas where it’s easier to experiment, to play, to discover, and other areas in life, where there’s a resistance. A fear? Possibly. Probably, even. However. I do try. I experiment, more and more. I’ve let go of any lingering belief that I have to Know what will come, in order to even try something out. That I have to have the full plan in place, before I can even take one step. I don’t. And you don’t either.

We get to play around, dilly-dally, experiment. Try something out. If it didn’t work out as you thought, redesign and try again. Perhaps you got even farther from where you thought you’d get – redesign again. Reiterate. Over and over again.

And as Tay Lopez says, never run an experiment longer that eighteen months. After eighteen months, you either know that it works, and then you can decide on whether to keep on doing it. (But it’s no longer an experiment then, right!) If it doesn’t work. Call it quits. Regardless of sunk cost, let it go. It’s not worth it, any more.

Run a diet, try being a vegan for a month? Have fun with a new exercise plan. Sign up for a marathon, and get running! See how many books you can read in a year. Take a leave of absence from work and travel the world. Accept a challenge to blog daily for a hundred days in a row. See if you can grow enough vegetables to be self-sustained for the summer, for the fall, for nine months out of a year, or perhaps for a full year? See what happens if you don’t buy anything new (food excluded) for a full year. Say Yes to everyone who asks you something?

There is no end to the number of ways we can experiment in and with life.

Go for it. Experiment!

Welcome to my humble abode, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I share thoughts on how I do gentle, and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

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Experiment more!

August 18, 2016
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Yesterday me and my business partner Ulf had a brainstorm around the purpose of our mutual endeavors, and really diving deep into the question Why was great fun. While we were brainstorming, laughing, lunching and planning, several things from the Tai Lopez-podcast from London Real that I recommended last week popped up for me. It made me realize there were many things that I’ve been quietly digesting since last weekend when I listened to the show twice.

These things in particular were very well suited to the wild ideas and discussions of yesterday:

* Experiment more – but never longer than 18 months. If it’s not good after 18 months, cut your losses and get out!

* Double down – meaning: do more of that which works really well, the actions that serve you and your business, making a profit, as well as learning, growing, staying and getting fit and expanding as a human being.

* Friends & family – surround yourself with friends and family, and double down on relationships with people close to you. It’s not about having the highest number of friends, make each friend really valuable instead. money

* Fuel units – that’s what Tai calls money. Fuel units. If you have a car, you need fuel units to make it move. Same goes with everything else. We need fuel units to make things happen in the world, and with them you can do good, just as you can do evil. But since the golden circle (our Why) for me and Ulf is “to make the world a little better“, we’re opting for doing good.

Just a few tidbits of the three hour long Tai Lopez-interview on London Real, but tidbits which I am playing with, in my head, and in my conversations. And, as importantly, in taking action as well. I’m playing with the idea of looking at all action taken, all courses laid out, all plans, conversations and endeavors I engage in, as experiments. Nothing is permanent. Everything is in movement, constantly shifting. Decisions are made, in the moment, but very few of them are written in stone, even though I have certainly been guilty of treating many decisions as being permanent. And then, in a heartbeat, something happens and life get’s flipped upside down. So why not play around and experiment more?

Since 2012 I have blogged over at herothecoach.com in a jumble of Swedish and English and this post is a sample of what I’ve been writing there over the years. As of 2016 I only write in Swedish there, and in English here. I hope you enjoy this #ThrowbackThursday, originally published here, and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts.

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