feelings

Do you worry?

Do you worry?

January 8, 2019
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Do you worry?, they asked, and I said No. I don’t worry. 

You see, worry is one of those feelings I don’t see any point in engaging with. Now, of course I can feel worried at times, but when I pick up on the sentiment, I release it. Just let it be. The biggest reason (besides not seeing how worry serves me or anyone else) is that worry hurts.

Worry is like a molded glass, that upon breaking splinters into a billion tiny, extremely sharp, shards. That’s how worry feels. Both to feel, and to be the recipient of, i.e. regardless if I am the worrier or the one worried about. I don’t want a billion tiny sharp shards directed at me, and don’t want to direct them at anyone else either.

Rather than worry, I do feel concern. Concern, for me, has a totally different vibe to it. It’s not sharp and dangerous at all. It’s softer, gentler, it’s warm and caring. And I would much rather be concerned about someone than worry about them.

What about you? Do you worry?

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I wanna pod

April 11, 2018
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A month or so ago, I connected again with a friend that I haven’t really talked to much in a few years. And we actually first met a few years ago, so basically we’ve only met up a handful of times. Yet. Because ever since our first meeting there’s been this sense of ”we will do something together”. Anyway, we set a date for a walk n talk, and that date just happened to be today.

In between setting it up, and walk n talk:ing, I read Daniel Priestleys Key person of influence. As I was reading, I was basically clobbered over the head with the realization that ”the message behind the written words on the pages” that Daniel writes about – a message unique to each and every reader – for me centered around one thing: It is time for me to pod. 

Yes. Pod. As in time to start a podcast. Or several. I’ll start with one though, to use as a blueprint for the other one’s I’ve been pondering for years on end. I figured out a good pod-theme (can you guess? Doing gentle, of course!) for this first pod-baby of mine, and my mind has been churning away in the background ever since.

So. Fast forward to today, when I met up with Søren Lassen outside the city library, for our walk n talk, and almost immediately, Søren brought up the fact that he (with a long background as a radio presenter), would love to help me set up a pod, if I felt like it.

Message-received-loud-and-clearSynchronicity.
Hell yeah – I just love it! The Universe is talking, and I am listening. Message received loud and clear

So – right now, I’m gonna scan my calendar for a few dates in May, send them to Søren, wait for confirmation, thus ensuring a next-step is in place. Because honestly – that’s all it takes. Taking one step, and setting up the next. Taking that step, and setting up a new next step. Repeat until done.

Too simple, you say?
Nah. Why should it be harder than that? I mean, really – my thoughts generate my feelings, which in turn lead to results, getting me precisely what I was thinking. So, no no, I will not be thinking about ”how hard this is gonna be”, on the contrary, this will be a grand adventure into the world of podcasting, one which I so look forward to. Game on!

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This is how it is for everyone.

June 15, 2017
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“Life’s energy is never static. It is as shifting, fluid, changing as the weather. Sometimes we like how we are feeling, sometimes we don’t. Then we like it again. Then we don’t. Happy and sad, comfortable and uncomfortable alternate continually. This is how it is for everyone.”

I’ve written many times about just this. The ever-changing nature of the human experience, and how the realization that this is what it’s like to live on earth as a human being, has changed my life. It has broadened my experience of life, giving me room to be; To fully experience each and every emotion and feeling that comes upon me – creeping up? Crashing down? All of it! – with less desire to be rid of it, to get through to the other side, to stop feeling what I am feeling and feel something else, something better, sweeter, softer, instead. No. I feel. I hurt, grieve, rage and despair. But also heal, rejoice, laugh and swoon. Neither feeling better or worse than the other. Some of them easier to be in than others, but neither of them bad or wrong, as feelings go. They simply are.

Sixten the dogJust before, I was in a state of confusion. Right now – hungry. Getting ready to get out of bed, do my morning Seven, take a shower, make myself my morning green smoothie and be in town at ten o’clock, a thirty minute bike ride to get there, with the added To-do of having to take Sixten the dog (we are dogsitting for a few days) on a walk before I take off, I am now starting to feel a bit pressed for time…

Because life’s energy is never static. It is as shifting, fluid, changing as the weather. Sometimes we like how we are feeling, sometimes we don’t. Then we like it again. Then we don’t. Happy and sad, comfortable and uncomfortable alternate continually. This is how it is for everyone.

Inspired to continue blogging on the theme from the #blogg100-challenge in 2017 I give you: The book “Taking the leap – Freeing ourselves from old habits and fears” by Pema Chödrön

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Doing gentle – 10 – Experience your experiences!

March 20, 2016
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Experience your experiences. Fully. Go all in. Let yourself live, love, feel.

No emotions and feelings are wrong. They just are.

Let yourself off the hook to ”feel the right things”. All those ”I should feel this”, ”I definitely shouldn’t feel that”, ”Why can’t I feel this instead”-thoughts. Ask yourself. How do they serve you, these thoughts?

What if you let yourself feel what you feel, without putting a whole lot of pressure on yourself for feeling the right or wrong things? I believe that makes for a much better place to make a conscious decision on what serves you, what the next step might or might not be, than beating yourself up for feeling the wrong thing.

Laugh, when you feel like it.funny face

Cry, when tears start to form at the corner of your eye.

Shout, when there’s a shout wanting to escape your throat.

Giggle, when you feel like a good giggle.

Make a funny face, when the urge hits you!

But yeah. Of course. Sometimes, it might not be appropriate. Then let yourself make a conscious choice to hold back. You are wise, you know when it’s ok to express your feelings and when you should refrain. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to giggle during a funeral., if the urge comes over you. But, perhaps, hold back on the giggle. You can giggle inwards, if you feel the need for it. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling what you feel. Let yourself feel whatever comes to you.

The Human Experience consists of a full rainbow of emotions and feelings. Don’t sell yourself short. Let yourself have the full human experience. That’s why we are here, as humans. To be human.

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Doing gentle – 4 – Understand that feelings are neutral

February 7, 2016
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doing gentle 4Can you tell me three good feelings? And three bad feelings?
I’m sure you could.

Love, generosity, happiness. Hatred, greed, envy.
Gratitude, joy, satisfaction. Anger, suspicion, jealousy.
Or any other combination.

There are a lot of feelings available to pick from, and there might be some differences in what I deem good and bad, and what you judge good or bad. But generally, I think we have a fairly similar take on it. Only thing is, there’s no such thing as a good or bad feeling. It’s the story we tell ourselves about those feelings that make them appear positive or negative. Feelings just are. Neutral. It’s the action we take based on them, that makes us judge them as good or bad, positive or negative.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling hate, jealousy or envy. Just as there’s nothing wrong with feeling happy, generous or satisfied.

What makes us judge feelings as good or bad, positive or negative, is what actions they (might, could, often do) give rise to. If I feel happy, I might laugh, give you a hug, dance around in my living room. Whatever. To a large part, actions that serve me.

If I feel hate, what actions will I take that will serve me? What if I lash out at you, screaming I hate you, or I write a vitriolic comment on a Facebook post, letting all my hatred flow out through my finger tips, onto the social media platform. How does this serve me? What serves me, out of these actions? Do they serve me at all?

Sometimes, actions taken from hatred, will serve. Sometimes actions taken from love, won’t. I can’t say with certainty that all action I take from love will serve me. Just as I can’t say that any action taken from hatred won’t. The deciding factor lie in the moment and the chosen action.

Being conscious to what you feel, in the moment, and actively choosing your action, makes a much better basis for life, than painting the world in black and white, saying feelings are either good or bad. Because they aren’t. They are neutral. Once I grasped this, I started to become aware of the stories I’d told myself around certain feelings. And as my awareness rose, I could start to let myself feel what I felt, without beating myself up over it.

Welcome to my new website, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I will be sharing thoughts on how I do gentle, and this is the fourth of those. I hope you enjoy it and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.
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