happiness

In awe of beauty

In awe of beauty

June 8, 2020
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This.
Right now.

The beauty we – humans – are capable of creating!
It will never cease to amaze me. And best of all, the sense of awe is one of the major components of wellbeing and happiness.

So I sit here, watching, in total awe.

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With a little help from my friends… or with money?

February 11, 2019
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When I have a need, say of a long ladder so the chimney sweeper coming for his annual visit can get up on the roof, or a car for a few hours or a day, or help to take care of Pop the cat for a few days, or whatever really – my first instinct is to think about my friends. Might there amongst them be someone who can help me, or at least point me in a direction that could solve my problem/tend to my need?

I think it always has been my initial reaction. But I’m not sure.
I know I started to get really good at asking for help once my first marriage crashed and burned five weeks before the birth of my eldest child. Have a hard time to recall if I was as good at asking for help before that, but have a feeling I was. At least pretty good at it. But ever since that crash and burn, I’ve gotten really good at asking for help, and am proud of it!

The other possible reaction is to look for a service provider to tend to the need. Buy a ladder. Call a taxi or book a car in a carpool. Get Pop a few days vacation at a cattery.

These two approaches to life, and to solving one’s needs, are just that, two different approaches. I for one instinctively go for the first, and if that doesn’t work out, choose a suitable service provider to ensure I get my needs met. Neither approach is inherently good or bad. But… at the same time, the benefits of the first approach, of asking near and dear ones for help, has some (perhaps not so) hidden advantages to it. If I ask you for help, and you can help, the likelihood of you asking me, or others, for help when you need it increases. In this way, we weave a tapestry of relationship, of friendship, of live, concern and care. If I always turn to a professional service provider to help me out, I am effectively not weaving myself into that tapestry of mutual relationships, and I think that’s a dangerous path to choose.

We know that one of the most significant indicators of happiness is the strength of a person’s relationships. Asking for, and responding to requests for, help, is definitely one important part of relationship-building. We are better together, that’s the superpower of human beings. If I don’t do my bit in giving others the chance to help me, I am holding back on strengthening relationships not just for my own sake, but also for those close to me, am I not? And what message am I sending, by not asking for help? Is it a signal I want to send?

So perhaps… I am wrong in saying there’s nothing inherently good nor bad in these two approaches? Perhaps there is more good to be had from asking for help, than from paying a service provider? At least if I never ever ask anyone for help. But perhaps people like that simply do not exist?

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Doing gentle – 2 – Innate well-being

January 24, 2016
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doing gentle 2You not only deserve being gentle towards yourself, it’s actually how you are born. We are all born with an innate well-being. It’s our birthright. It is there. Always there. Sometimes clouded over, but still, always already there, even if it’s in the background. Just like the sun. It’s always there, regardless if it’s a clear, crisp sunny winter day, or a cloudy, rainy and windy autumn day. The sun is there. It’s just hidden behind the cloud cover. It’s there at night as well, it just so happens there’s a planet between you and it.

Well-being is the same. It is always already there. And even better, there’s nothing I have to do to get it up and running. It’s like gravity. Gravity is always there, regardless if I know about it or not. A toddler jumping off the couch will fall down on the floor, despite not knowing a thing about gravity. Gravity doesn’t require you to know about it, for it to work. It just works. It’s just there.

So what if you stop thinking about yourself as if well-being is something that lies outside of yourself, something that can only be obtained if you get that job you want, or fall in love with the perfect man, or win the lottery, or… whatever. Happiness and well-being doesn’t reside outside of you. It is in you, and is always already in you.

What if well-being is always available to you, regardless of the circumstances?

Welcome to my new website, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I will be sharing thoughts on how I do gentle, and this is the second of those. I hope you enjoy it and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

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