hopelessness

Being gentle to me – Reflection February ’17

Being gentle to me – Reflection February ’17

February 27, 2017
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It’s been an odd month. A lot of hopelessness and despair, frustration and fear, surrounding me. So what have I been doing to be gentle to me, under these conditions? Well… I’ve let myself off the hook, in many ways. I’ve let up on some of the requirements I normally meet, have let my confused and muddled mind be. A lot of knitting, which for me is a very relaxing activity, where my brain can simply let go. A lot of The Good Wife on Netflix, which works perfectly together with the knitting. I’ve not had the wherewithal to read, so no books. I’ve not been able to make myself focus on some aspects of work, so less of that as well. I’ve done the top priority activities, but cut back on the rest.

Wellbeing picking up againAnd now?
Well. The wellbeing is picking up, on all fronts, mine as well as for those in my surroundings. And it makes it easier to start to focus again, to get into the aspects of work that I’ve not been able to make myself sit down with in the past month. The items that require a bit more from me, a coherent thought, an arc of intention, that demands my full attention. And today, for the first time in a few weeks, I finally truly felt that again. So I enjoyed it, getting into the flow of things, of digging around in a system, searching for the common thread, pondering the best way to recreate it, into a new system, utilizing the best from the old, and trying to let go of the less good bits.

And throughout it all – this underlying knowing that it’s not forever. It will not last, the sense of hopelessness, the lack of energy due to despair. It cannot. Nothing ever does. The flux of life will pick up it’s frequency again, starting to swing back and forth, back and forth, providing me with high’s and low’s. Coupled with the knowledge that whatever it is I am not doing, is noting that won’t keep, the worst case scenarios of me not giving it my all – for a month – simply aren’t that bad, even if I use all of my imagination.

So. Being gentle to me this past month has been about cutting myself some slack, allowing me to recharge my batteries and giving me space to simply Be.

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An act of rebellion

February 26, 2017
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in Tip
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On Being.
Krista Tippett in conversation with Parker Palmer and Courtney Martin.
Topic: The inner life of rebellion.

At this point in time, a time of terror and natural disasters, war and tyranny, people fleeing from their home and countries, from death and destruction…. holding onto hope is a challenge. A struggle. Not always easy. But I stick with it. I stick with my hope of a better world, for all. With the knowing, deep within me, that the path of love is the path ahead, towards that world, which is better for each and every one. In times like these, holding onto hope is an act of rebellion.act of rebellion

This is the essence of this podcast. Holding onto hope. Parker Palmer and Courtney Martin remind me of the path I’ve chosen in life. The path of love.

Does that mean I never despair? Dread? Fear? Hate?
No. I feel it all. It’s a part of the human experience.
But I cannot, will not, let those emotions become the main route of my life.

That is not how I want my life to play out, focusing on those feelings, the feelings of despair, dread, fear, hate. It’s not what I chose. So when those feelings show up, I see and acknowledge them, I don’t shy away from them, but I have the choice not to dive headfirst into them, and that’s most often the choice I make.

Trying to avoid falling for the siren’s call of the cynic, the sarcastic, the pessimistic and the negative. Instead, I try to listen to the love, the creativity, the compassion and the positive. Simply, because it makes my life more enjoyable. That’s my act of rebellion. Holding onto hope, believing in and living my life out of love and light.

What is your act of rebellion?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. As I’ve been inundated in feelings of hopelessness a lot these past months, as well as listening to Rebecca Solnit in an On Being episode and also reading Hope in the Dark by Rebecca Solnit, when I stumbled upon this podcast recommendation from 2015, it immediately felt like the podcast to recommend. For you, of course, but perhaps even more so, for myself. So I will listen to this one, again. Holding onto hope!

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Unexpected kindness

February 18, 2017
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I got a message, that made my eyes well up in tears.
Unexpected kindness, from a person long since in the perimeter of my life. The acknowledgement that there’s a common love, for yet another person.

With grace, I honor the love we share, and extend my gratitude, that I will be let in, when the time comes.

The unexpected kindness envelopes me in warmth and belonging, even though I long since stopped belonging to that particular tribe. And even though it is so, there’s the high level tribe that we all belong to, the one that says we are all humans.

unexpected kindnessThe realization that there is, in fact, always (!) the ability, the choice, the possibility of an intentional decision, that opens up, rather than closes down. The choice to “go high, instead of low” to paraphrase a certain First Lady, is there. Always. And being on the receiving end of someone who chooses the High instead of the Low, grants me relief, at a time when I sorely need it.

So thank you. The unexpected kindness shown to me today, brings tears of joy and relief to my weary soul, and gives me a boost to face yet another day, where hopelessness is much to rife. Provides a guiding light to shine my way through the darkness all around, ensuring I will not get lost today.

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