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I love it, and I loath it.

I love it, and I loath it.

April 18, 2020
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Last year I did two digital sabbats most months, each lasting at least 24 hours, oftentimes 48 hours or more. It’s a habit I’ve not properly carried forward into 2020, even though my need for it certainly hasn’t diminished. On the contrary.

But last night I gave myself the gift of a Social Media sabbath, checking out from Facebook and Instagram, Tinder and LinkedIn, and have now been off for 25 hours. The mindless reaching for my phone, unlocking it, swiping to my SoMe-folder on screen two, opening up Instagram, scrolling, giving a heart here and there, writing a comment or two, moving on, then Facebook, scrolling, giving a thumbs up, writing a comment or two, moving on, then Tinder, checking to see if there’s a new match or a new message, swiping left, left, left, right, left, then back to Instagram, then… on and on.

It is so mindless. Such a waste of time.
T h i s aspect of it. The almost unconscious routine-like habit of it; my inner SoMe-junkie in search of my next high. It doesn’t all have to be mindless though. The potential for connection is there, it is real. But that potential can be harnessed with much less waste of time.

Going on SoMe-sabbaths gives me the ability to witness myself and my interactions, to observe what I do, when I do, how I do, and realize that now and again, the why I do isn’t all too clear. And, so what? If I want to waste my time once in a while, so be it. My choice. My life. Sometimes, that’s what Is. And that’s fine. But I do want to be conscious of it. I want to choose to just be, letting myself be unproductive, non-effective, time-wasting, rather than feel addicted to it.

I’m quite particular about what I want to let myself be addicted to. Reading, hell yeah! Moving my body, of course. Silence and solitude, wouldn’t want to be without. But caffeine? No way. Don’t like coffee, but am seriously restrictive about tea as well, because I truly do not appreciate the headache that rears its ugly head after the fifth-day-in-a-row of having a cup or two of black or green tea. Nicotine? Nah, have never gone down that road, and alcohol is the same. I am really restrictive, and much prefer a glass of water to a glass of wine or beer which makes it very easy to not build habits around drinking.

But social media?
Huh… For me, it’s a different creature, for sure.
And I guess that’s why I am torn. I love it, and I loath it, all at once. A beast to be tamed? Or is this me trying to control me to an unhealthy degree? Should I just let myself off the hook, and scroll mindlessly to my heart’s desire without giving it another thought?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Found online. Where. And why?

April 12, 2020
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Facebook. My personal profile. Stories. My page for #tankespjärn. Groups I am a part of?
Instagram. Stories.
Cross-posting?

Patreon.
LinkedIn.
Blog(s).

So many places. So much opportunity.
My presence there, who is it for? For me? For you?
If the answer to the first is No, then I sincerely doubt the answer to the latter question could be Yes.
I have to be there. In spirit. In person. With me. Open. Honest. Wholehearted.

That’s why I don’t do Twitter anymore.
Or, more to the point, I left without closing my account, and now the only thing Twitter does is cross-post the URL of my blog posts. (Had to check, only the Swedish ones.) With just shy of 4000 followers, somehow it irked me to close the account… but now? I might as well, honestly. Because I am so not there. Not in spirit. Not in person.

I haven’t given LinkedIn a proper chance. Not yet. Should I? Should I refrain? And don’t even get me started on the fact that I could (should?) set up an English profile there, besides the Swedish one, a feature I know they rolled out a while back…
And Instagram. No. Not really gone for it properly there either. Same questions apply.

My intention for the past ten years has been to make a positive imprint. So I do my best to curate what I share, how I share, how I show up, what I respond to and how, what my tone is. And yes. That’s a big part of my decision to break up with Twitter. But the question is, given where I am right now, what do I share, when and where?

…to be continued.

But I am curious.
Where are you to be found online? Truly, you, your presence? And why? Why have you set up your chosen online-presence the way it is?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Given freely. Received deeply.

June 16, 2019
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That’s the best type of feedback (be it a compliment, appreciation, praise…). The one that is given freely and received deeply. Those words – given freely, received deeply – are words my word savvy and wise friend Mayke wrote in response to something I shared with her and the other Campfire Sisters.

My last blog post (in Swedish) was about seeing and being. How I have to be open in order to be a part of both these aspects, as I can neither be seen nor see, otherwise. How seeing, and being seen, is such an integral part of being human, and what a gift it is, when we add to the seeing/being seen part some type of feedback on what we see.

The post intertwined perfectly with Mayke’s words which made me take special notice.
Synchronicity. There’s something here for me to dive deeper into. To explore. Taste. Play with.

And as I talked to a friend I got another piece of the puzzle. I told her how I am greatly helped to see myself when I share with others. Share what is. Within and without. Feelings. Experiences. Fears and longings. Life. All of it. It helps, as what I get in return (the feedback. Of being seen, in what I am, where I am, how I am.) gives me perspective. Opens new vistas, which in turn might (or not) grant me insights. So I share a lot. Might it be a type of insurance? Ensuring I get seen? (By myself, as well as others.) Same reason why I blog the way I do? 

Follow aegirdottr on Instagram.

Anyway.
I got a gift today. Or rather, I got two.

The actual gift was a wonderful piece of art. The added bonus was the feedback. Given freely. And oh so deeply received. Warms the soul. Makes my eyes well up in tears, my heart overfilled with gratitude and my face light up with a huge smile.

Given freely. Spontaneously. From the heart.
Received deeply. Wholeheartedly. Straight into the heart.

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Narrowing my focus

February 12, 2019
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Gown off; my intention for the year. Gown off, as in as I am.

How will this show up to the world?

Well… the year is young, and there’s plenty of time for this to develop in ways unknown to me right now. What I am busy doing though, is making sure that what you see more genuinely reflects me as I am. I want to make sure I show up as I am both in 3D and online, so I am creating congruency between these arenas. Working on updating my website as well as my profile on LinkedIn. But am also using both Instagram and Facebook slightly differently, including my Facebook Live’s.

Working on my LinkedIn profile, and so much more with my coach Dave Kibby; it was in a session with him that gown off was revealed to me (us).
Had a hoot of a day in a photo session with photographer Anders Roos, to take new photos of me. As I am.
Spent a day cutting my soon-to-be-released podcast together with audio producer Søren Lassen Andreassen, getting raw cuts of twenty-two episodes finished. With musician Olof Jennfors putting the final touches to the soundtrack, I look forward to release my first-ever (own) podcast in a few weeks time! More on that, in due time.

Everything for everyone isn’t the best of business ideas, and it’s definitely not mine, as I am also getting much clearer with who I want to work with, separating them from those I can work with. The former is a smaller part of the latter, which means I am narrowing my focus, which feels great!

Who I want to work with? You! Given that you are a person who wants to do the work, to change, to expand. You, if you are a person ready to show up in the world as you are. Are you?

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I love these poems.

October 17, 2018
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in Tip
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A while ago I stumbled across Nayyirah Waheed on Instagram. She writes poems, most often short ones, that go deep in me. I cannot duck and take cover from them, they pierce me, through and through, and often leave me… at a moments pause; A pause of taking a breath, of recollecting, reminiscing, refocusing.

At long last, and enough of those significant moments on Instagram, I ordered the book at the library. Got it. Read it. Book number 75 of the year, and a book I would gladly recommend to anyone. I, for one, am a novice poetry reader, and Nayyirah Waheed writes in a way that doesn’t confuse me. I read page after page, poem after poem, word by word. I read them out loud, yet still fully within me, as I read out loud no sounds are heard… I love these poems.

 

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