intention

#blackouttuesday

#blackouttuesday

June 2, 2020
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On this #blackouttuesday as I sit here, trying to take it all in, reading some (not a lot), watching some (not a lot), listening some (not a lot), I come back to this:

Attention energizes.
Intention informs.

To what do I give my attention?
What do I want to see more of in this world?

How am I being informed by my intentions?
What’s my learning like?
How can I expand it, go beyond, stretch myself, crossing edges as yet not crossed by me, helping me learn more, see more, grasp more?

And then… turning the energizing attention, and the informed intention into action.
That’s how change is made, by Being the person Doing the work.

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Attention energizes. Intention transforms.

June 1, 2020
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Attention energizes.
Intention transforms.

Two phrases I pick up on, every time I hear them. Which I’ve done a few times lately, in the voice of Deepak Chopra from a few of the meditations that are part of his 21 day abundance-challenge.

When I hear them, I am jolted out of my lull.
There’s something to these words –this combination of words– that wakes me up, makes me alert.

At first, I put attention energizes into a negative category, linking attention to what I call drama. When someone does or says something, or omits to do or say something, and how these actions/non-actions can be nitpicked and studied, broken down into their very smallest pieces, and judged.
Right. Wrong. Who’s the victim? Who’s the perpetrator?

And, falling into the normal pattern of polarizing, if attention energizes is negative, then intention transforms would automatically fall into a positive category, right?

Well.
Let’s just say, that today upon waking, after both conversations and internal reflections upon current affairs throughout the weekend, I realized how off my categorization is.

Neither phrase is negative nor positive.
They just are.

Attention energizes.
Intention transforms.

This is information.
It’s not advice on what to do or not to do, but input to be put to use, when and where it serves me, you, us, the greater good.

Attention energizes.
Intention transforms.

What if (more) attention was given, with a clear intention at its core, as the driver? What might shift then? Individually as well as collectively?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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2020 – with my body in focus

January 1, 2020
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These past years, the intention of the coming year has come to mind around New Years, when I’ve been busy gathering my thoughts on the experiences of the year past, high’s and low’s alike, to sum up, and clean my slate for what is to come. The intention for 2020 came to me a couple of months ago, when I, in a moment of total clarity, just knew that it is with my body in focus that I will start off the new decade.

With my body in focus Is as yet undefined. I will not write a detailed list of exactly what I will be doing this year, like a minimum of x runs/bike trips/swims/walks/gym sessions per week/month/year and so on. No. Not like that. Because I do not know. Instead, I will play around with my body as the theme, the challenge is (being gentle with myself, not to worry about that) to develop more strength, suppleness, endurance. I want to better my ability to stand on one leg, to squat, to get a stronger and supple back that can sleep in beds not my own without causing me pain, want to be able to do proper and more sit-ups and push-ups, chin-ups och pull-ups, want to build strength and movement in my feet and get rid of the big toe joint pains I suffer since biking into a rock foot first, November 2018. I will dance lindy hop as much and often as I can, both taking classes and attending social dance’s, and more than anything, I will take regular movement-breaks when I do what I am doing right now: sitting in front of the computer.

Last year’s intention As I am was easy to follow up on a monthly basis, precisely because I’d written it so detailed and specific. Even though this intention is far from just that, I still want to commit to a monthly follow up on with my body in focus because it’s such a good way to keep the intention top of mind. I will surely reflect on the actual facts of what I’ve done each month, the number of kilometers on my bike and on foot I’ve been logging since September 2009, so that type of data (and habit!) is easily accessible. But I want to compliment my monthly reflections with what I experience, the feelings the theme awakens within, the differences I observe and what it means to me.

So.
With my body in focus, I start 2020 by taking a walk down to lake Boren for the first cold bath of the year as well as the decade.

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Follow up – July 2019 – As I am.

August 5, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

July… a month spent travelling with everything that entails. Such as very little blogging!

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace daily: ✅
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: My bigtoe joint is still acting up. Pains me. So I walk and ide my bike rather than jog.
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: Cold showers rather than baths, as the water temperature is above my personally set limit (≤14 degrees).
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): So far no Lindy hop-dancing this summer. Luckily I have signed up for the continuation class starting in September!
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked just short of 60 and biked a bit more than 240 kilometers.

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Read 36/75 böcker. 7 books behind schedule, which is betetr than where I was at two weeks ago, when I was down by 11 books… Blogged about Clapton’s guitar – watching Wayne Henderson build the perfect instrument (book 7 of 12 in English) and the Swedish counterpart is Tankar för dagen, manual för ett snällare liv.
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Zero. Zero! Geez…
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: My travels made me slip out of this habit, and I have yet to step into it fully again.
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: Digital sabbats on July 6-7 and 26-27. In Augusti I plan for the same on 2-3, 9-10, 16-17.

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: pondering a few ideas about writing retreats, including the possibility of running a digital retreat? My ideas from January remain but I am starting to feel silly writing that. So perhaps I should just plan it? 12-13 September, 28-28 October, 11-12 November, 9-10 December. There. Done. Booked. The chance of these writing retreats actually happening just got a lot higher!
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it: Have deliberately ended this suite of daily lives (in June), and hence I am removing it from my yearly intentions.
  • blog daily: It’s August and my vacation is over. So I step onboard this intention again, as of right now.
  • start to pod: Well, well, well. Borrowed the podstudio of my friend J and hance I have a 2 hour raw file to cut and produce. So there will be new episodes soon, count on it!
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: thoughts are swirling, nothing concretized as of yet. The chances of this happening might just have gotten better as well, given the fact that I have marked writing retreats in my calendar?

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January and March, not in February, April, May, June and July (the two latter not so surprising). Feels like an area to step up my game in!
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: Have a bit of a backlog in my accounts book, I will get on it, I promise.

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: July. Well. Me and the youngest one went to England with my mom and aunt to visit relatives and attend a lovely graduation celebration at St John’s. (Pop the cat got to stay at home, or rather, had his own vacation away from home.) Me and the young one then jumped on EuroStar to Brussels, took the train to The Hague (thanks a lot for your kindness and hospitality Vanessa!) and Amsterdam (dito Mayke!) before we got on a Flixbus back home. Took a swim in the North Sea, had a few lovely bike rides and I can warmly recommend Rembrandt’s House, what a lovely and perfectly sized museum! Once back home I had work waiting for me, although I must confess I haven’t worked full time precisely. But still! Lunch with family in Simrishamn, daCapo-party and helping with a move from Limhamn to Oxie, a podclub meetup on attachment theory, two CoachWalks and an assorted amount of hobnobbing at that.

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Follow up – May 2019 – As I am.

June 10, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

May went pass quick as a space rocket, and what a gloriously wonderful, fantastic and expansive month it’s been at that!

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace daily: ✅
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: No running in May and hence, I am tweaking this intention. My big toe joint is messing up, I do believe it’s gotten a bit too much Lindy Hop dancing!
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: 7 cold baths in May, and sadly I have to report that the water temperature is increasing day by day so… no more cold (!) baths to be had until the fall. I have put my personal limit at 14 degrees, above that and it’s not a cold bath any more.
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): Have attended a few social dances after the class ended. Planning to keep it up during summer!
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked 60 and biked just short of 300 kilometers.

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Read 24/75 böcker. Blogged about The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (book 5 of 12 in English) and the Swedish counterpart is Tjärdalen.
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Oh my… 8 times in May. That’s all the love I’ve given the guitar this month. I will do better!
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: ✅
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: 4-5 and 18-19 May I took well-deserved digital sabbats. If you’ve yet to try it out, do, if only for the joy of returning to the digital once the sabbat is over! In June I aim for the same on 6-7, 15-16 and then I’ll have to see what happens in Kenya!

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: pondering a few ideas about writing retreats, including the possibility of running a digital retreat? My ideas from January remain.
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it: ✅
  • blog daily: ✅
  • start to pod: Haven’t booked any new recording sessions so the existing episodes of Doing Gentle with an Edge are available in a podplayer close to you, but no new ones are in the pipe line just yet.
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: thoughts are swirling, nothing concretized as of yet.

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅I am really levelling up on this aspect!
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January and March, not in February, April and May.
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: Worked better in May, but not optimal, so I will keep “Need to find a better routine to avoid the trap of filling my account-book way after the fact….” from last month.

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: May has been such a rish month I cannot visualise it with one photo only, so I give you two! The pilot round of 60 timmars tankespjärn took place May 8-10 and both before, during and after #tankespjärn has been my given focus! And what an experience, what a treat! My garden is thriving and I am getting helo from knowledgeable and skilled friends with green fingers – what a difference that makes! I was inspired by Michel and Mariella Issa, I have been brain storming with Janine who started the Skåne Networking Community on FB which took of like lightning! I have sung to my hearts content (Gaaaalen!), enjoyed my cold baths (I even went skinny dipping at the choir summer festivities!) and been to TEDxSlottsparken-rehearsal (I will be the moderator, I look forward to it immensely! It takes place on June 14th 2019, and will be live streamed, so keep your eyes open!), been to a funeral, seen Guds olydiga revben after a book by Gunilla Thorgren (God’s disobedient rib is the translated title) – and was completely wow:ed! Add to that the fun me and Monika has at the Party-a-long with Dirty Dancing at Spegeln. And then on top, I’ve worked my ass off, spent a full day in teh company of the Swedish Medicinal Agency at a client, have been cleaning my house over and over again, took photo’s and put up an add on AirBnB, posted adds for a bunch of stuff on Shpock and have been appointed Special Legal Guardian (Särskilt Förordnad Vårdnadshavare) to my very first unaccompanied minor (Gode Barn). Feels grand!

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Follow up – March 2019 – As I am.

April 6, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

March. What a month! And it’s already finished, but far. It’s been a month with a lot happening – both in and with me.

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅Soon I have 1700 Sevens in a row…
  • Headspace daily: ✅
  • run a minimum of  75 runs: 1 run in March as well. I will take a run when I feel like it.
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: 1 cold bath in March, one which had me go into the water twice on the other hand.
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): 7/10 classes completed, haven’t missed a single one.
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked almost 60 kilometers and biked just short of 310 ditto.

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Read 17/75 böcker. Blogged about A fine balance (book 3 of 12 in English) and the Swedish counterpart is I det sista regnet.
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Missed out on playing the guitar three days in March, and have stopped setting a timer for 10 minutes. Sometimes I just play one song, sometimes two, sometimes three. So 10 minutes a day isn’t something I live up to on a daily basis, but I am playing, more often than not! And soon I have Utan dina andetag down pat and Shallow which is our current homework-song is coming along quite nicely as well, because I really enjoy this song!
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: ✅
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: 9-10th and 23-24th of March I observed my digital sabbat. In April I aim for the same on 12-13th and 19-20th.
  • börja podda: Alltså… inledande avsnittet klart, upplagt på Soundcloud, och ytterligare tio avsnitt fiffade… men iTunes ratade mig. På kryptiska grunder med en hjälptext som inte gjorde mig klokare. Så jag skrev om. Ratad igen. Skrev om igen. Ratad igen… så då lusläste jag den där hjälptexten ännu en gång och skrev om igen, på lite annat vis. “Submitted for review” i över en vecka, över månadsskiftet… men idag (4 april) så är den “Active”! Whoop. Oj liksom – men det får jag skriva mer om i nästa månadssummering ju! *cliffhanger*
  • släppa (minst) 4 e-böcker under 2019: Spinner tankar men inget som konkretiserats. Än.

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: pondering a few ideas about writing retreats, including the possibility of running a digital retreat? My ideas from January remain.
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it: ✅
  • blog daily: ✅
  • start to pod: Well…. the introductory episode is finished, upoladed to Soundcloud, and another ten episodes are ready to go… but iTunes rejected me. On cryptical reasons with a help text that did nothing to make me wiser. So I re-wrote the metadata. Rejected again. So I re-wrote it once more. And was rejected yet again… so I took a finetoothed comb to that help text, and re-wrote once more, but with a twist. “Submitted for review” was the status on iTunes for more than a week, passing the end of the month… but on April 4th, the status was changed to “Active”! Whoop!! I mean – wow! But hey… more of that in next months monthly summary! *cliffhanger*
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: thoughts are swirling, nothing concretized as of yet.

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January and March, not in February.
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: ✅I have to say, keeping tabs on my finances, both incoming and outgoing, sure makes for a higher state of consciousness around what there is. I highly recommend it.

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: brother and sister-in-law on a quick visit to Sweden so me and the youngest kid of the house got on a train to Vejbystrand for just short of 24 hours (where I totally make said youngster completely embarrassed to have a mother like me, as I stand in the middle of the square in Ängelholm and start to d a n c e until brother, sister-in-law, mother and aunt arrive on the bus. Youngster n o t happy, let me tell you. The residents of Ängelholm smiled on the other hand!), brother gave me an introductory course in genealogical research with help of the app Ancestry, getting the last of the pod-work done as well as records an introductory episode, went to a vernissage and a 24-hour castle get-away with my most lovely wives (yes!), give birth to, and starts to work on an idea that is very close to my heart in coaching conversations with Dave, spend a full weekend dedicated to Stabat Mater with a concert in Denmark as well as in Malmö with a get-together at my place after the Malmö-concert, for friends and family who are attending the concert, manages to go skinny dipping in the ocean (cold bath!) despite the fact that it’s almost storm winds out, coaches, walks, enjoy the sunshine and bike rides and generally: living life!

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Bring that beauty to everything I do.

April 5, 2019
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Challenged.

Willing to take it on?

Can I not?

And if I do (I will. Of course. It’s so in line with what I am, where I am, what I am creating. God-bumps from just writing this. So yes. It’s a given.), what will change? What will I do more of? Less of? Stop completely? Start?

That picture you shared a few weeks ago, it was beautiful, he said, and as I listen to the harrowing beauty of Spiegel im spiegel it too informs me of what has to happen:
Bring that beauty to everything I do.

Intention.
Focus.
Willingness.

Challenge accepted, but not lightly.
Not at all. Accepted with the greatest sense of reverence.

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All that I am.

February 28, 2019
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As I am. Intention of the year.
Manifesting in the most astonishing ways, this intention of mine: As I am.

In my conversations with D and D (my friend and soulmate Dominic – who just happens to be the most skilled processwork therapist – and my coach Dave) different aspects of me show up.
Warrior-Helena. Worrier-Helena.
The Sisyphean-like Worker-Helena, constantly pulling a heavy load.
And today I welcomed Sly-Helena onto the stage, in the company of Sharp-Helena.

This is me. As I am.
All of me. All that I am.

Where this all will lead?
Beats me.
But I am sure having fun in the process; the unearthing; the embodying.

Fun? But, there’s a lot of pain and tears, feelings of insecurity, loneliness and shame isn’t there?

Yes.
True.
There is.

But that’s part of the fun, honestly.
Not fun as in me laughing my head off the entire time.
No. Not that type of fun.

Rather the type of fun that has me experience these different aspects of me, feeling the emotions, raw and rough. Discovering, opening new doors within, reacquainting myself with parts of me that haven’t been very prominent recently. For me, this is fun. Exciting. It’s like going on an adventure, not knowing what will happen, who will turn up, where the journey will take me.

The best kind of journey there is, lasting a lifetime at that!

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A structure to achieve my intentions

January 21, 2019
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in Tip
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Facebook reminded me about a post I made three years ago… that had me a bit confused because I’d forgotten about it. It was a post about 36 books I wanted to read in 2016, with an “I will likely be blogging about some of them” as an aside.

Facebook Live #80 🇱🇷🇬🇧 – Intentions and what makes them transform into action

Facebook Live #80 🇱🇷🇬🇧 – Intentions and what makes them transform into action

Publicerat av Helena Roth Lördag 19 januari 2019

Wanna wager if I succeeded or not?

Well. I didn’t. Not in 2016. Because I hadn’t set up the necessary structure to achieve my intention. So I bombed. However, the similar intention I set in 2018 was a success (reading 26 + 26 books in English and Swedish respectively, and to blog about one of them every Sunday), and I’ve set up a similar structure for 2019:
1) A Goodreads reading challenge (75 books to be read in 2019). I use Goodreads to keep track of the books I read, and what my progress is, so I visit the website at least a few times every week, if not daily.
2) I wrote my intention for the year of 2019-blog post, and in it, I wrote about both the #goodreadsreadingchallenge, but also about the 12 + 12 English/Swedish books I will read this year, and that I will be blogging about two of these books every month.
3) at the end of each month, I will be posting a follow-up-post on the yearly intentions, keeping track of how I am doing. This is a vital part, because it has me reminding myself about my specific intentions at least on a monthly basis. So if all else fails, at the end of the month (or the start of the next month) I will get a kick-in-the-behind to get on track again.
4) I have these 12 + 12 books in my bedroom bookcase, and I look at them every morning and evening.

Do you help yourself achieve your intentions through the structures you design and put in place, and if so, how?

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Embodied.

May 23, 2018
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GroundedThe vibrations from the drums keep on reverberating within me, even though the last beat faded away an hour and a half ago.
Am still riding the wave of the energy from the vibrations; what a wonderful feeling.

Vibrations.
It’s as if all of a sudden, I’ve discovered a new world, a new dimension, the world of vibrations.

Setting an intention.
Heard. Voiced. Welcomed.

Receiving a clear message that this is to be embodied.
I need/crave/desire more body in my life.
It is where the direction I am pointed in.

The vibrations do just that, wake me up, body and soul, having me ride the waves of the drumbeats.
It’s all about energy.

I.
Am all energy.

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