invitation

Keep on…

Keep on…

September 21, 2020
/ / /

I read:
People don’t show up when you launch.
They show up when they’re ready.

Such a simple concept, and yet… hard to come to terms with.
Or. Rather. Hard to disassociate between me doing my work, and you showing up when –and more importantly!– if my work is for you.

This is what generosity is.
What invitations are.

Me doing my work, putting it out there, telling the world, by all means, but not shoving it down anyone’s throat, not playing dirty. Generously sharing, shipping, showing up. Reaching out a hand, with a personal invitation

(this, for me! My achilles heal. Still. And I need to stop saying that.

Let me rephrase: This has been my achilles heal. But. It. Is. No. More.

Today I exult in sending out personal invites; hammering it home… No. That’s not very generous to me, is it? Putting away my hammer, and instead, giving myself a high five for each personal invite I extend, for each generous act of mine, for all the ways I show up. For me. For you.)

…that truly is an open, honest, no-strings-attached-invitation, where a No is as welcome as a Yes.

And how inviting others into my world, my creations, is, truly, generous, and that there’s no way for me to know when you’re ready, so the best thing I can do is keep on creating, keep on shipping and sharing, keep on inviting.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
Read More

Invitation

August 31, 2020
/ / /

The monthly Zoom in the tankespjärn-community took place this morning (for me. There were participants who were up in the middle of the night to partake. That wowed me!), and counter to past monthly Zoom-calls, this one was topic-less. That is, I hadn’t thought of anything to initiate the conversation… and for the shortest time, there was nothing but silence, as I threw out the invitation to talk about… what?

And the response was just that: INVITATION

So we took the invitation to speak, reflect, ponder, think and sense into the concept of INVITATION, and as always… it makes me astonished both how fast an hour can go (proof of flow-state) and also how much can be experienced in (but) an hour.

A few of the questions popping into my head, as I reflect on all we managed to fit into the one hour:

– When to extend an invitation? (The fear of imposing on others, often makes me send them too late… or not at all.)

– Do I do it enough?
(Heck no, is my answer to that question, that’s for sure!)

– Can I write a general invitation that actually makes individuals feel seen and heard, rather than go ”Oh, this is probably not for me”?
(See. I just w i l l   n o t stop with the shotgun approach, even though I know –Know!– the sniper approach works so much better. Sigh.)

– If extending an invitation is an act of g e n e r o s i t y, what is not extending an invitation then?
(This caused a shift in me when I first realized it, thanks to one of the prompts in The Creative’s Workshop. Not enough of a shift to make me be as generous with invitations as I would like to be – because I see myself as a generous person, and I want to show up as one.)

– Once I get someone to take my hand, accepting the invitation, how do I nourish the relationship, making them want to stay in my community? (Do general postings on the i n s i d e of a community suffice? Or do I need to make people in the community feel, on an individual basis, seen and heard on a continuous basis? I guess the latter… Agree?)

And there was more. Much more. Like these, resonating with me:
– Being (personally) invited feels very generous. It makes me feel chosen. (Seeding generosity. Indeed!)
– By invitation only. (How will the tankespjärn-community evolve if –when?– people I do not know, start to show up? Interesting question to ponder!)

Not to mention, this great piece of tankespjärn:
The more something is n o t for everyone, the more it is for the people it is for.

I know this to be true, as I know, that I, tankespjärn nor the community is for everyone.
This session has also informed me that it’s up to me to extend an invitation to those I know it’s for.

And, as promised: Yes. I extended three personal invitations last night, right before heading off to bed, only to wake up to a new patron! Given this result, insights gained from the Zoom on INVITATION, and more time on my hand, I vow to send out personal invites using the drip by drip-strategy. A drip here, a drip there, over time turns into a heckofa large puddle! (Don’t you just love puddles?)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
Read More

Missed opportunities. Or not?

August 30, 2020
/ / /

Here I go a g a i n!
Or rather… here I don’t go again.

I have the tankespjärn community monthly Zoom-call coming up tomorrow morning (my time, Central European Summer (!) Time/CEST. What that means for you TimeandDate can help figure out!), and I’ve been meaning to reach out, individually, to people whom I would love to join the community, thinking I wanna tell them Right before a monthly Zoom is a great time to jump in and try it out!

I still think that’s a great idea.
I just haven’t. Reached out, I mean.

And of course, rather than spending an hour reaching out to people, in person, with an open and heartfelt invitation… I do the s a m e thing that I’ve concluded, ages ago, is n o t the way to go. The shotgun approach is sooooo much easier though…. Ah, there comes my old friend, Resistance.

But it’s funny.
Because, when I do use the sniper approach, and reach out in person, regardless if I get a Yes or a No to my invitation, I always feel good.
Always. (Truly!)

So. What the heck is this really about?
What am I resisting? Why am I running into these missed opportunities, over and over again? Perhaps (likely?) I fear someone will not respond graciously, but rather lash out at me?

And, however irrational I know this fear to be, it might still be what keeps on getting in the way. Because that’s the thing about feelings. Rational, they most often are not.

I can look at this month’s Zoom as a missed opportunity. Or… I do have an hour or so before heading off to bed. So besides posting this (which, albeit not a personal invite, I hope still reads as an invite! I would love to have you check out the community!), I will reach out a hand to a few people I know and cherish. Ask. Invite. Extended without expectations (other than an actual response. I do love my clear Yes/No-responses, and might well push a bit to get one!).

Reporting back tomorrow, ok?
(That way I have accountability, in place as well. Clever, huh?!)

(And here I sit, ready to hit publish, when it hits me… what if I use this as accountability for the September Zoom as well? I mean, to get in touch and give personal invitations, with a bit more leeway? Even more clever!)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
Read More

Something that makes me go Huh…

May 6, 2020
/ / /

Why can’t I find it easily on your website? It’s not in your About-page, so I am not sure what tankespjärn is, and what it actually means?

The answer is easy: I haven’t gotten around to all of that. Yet. It is in the works and will be there. In a month? Two? Something like that. Definitely not longer, I definitely want to put tankespjärn front and center for anyone who comes looking.

As it is, you might google it and come across my small blurbs on it (#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New. Join!), or one of several blog posts where I’ve gotten into the concept in various ways. But as of right now, the one place where a definition of sorts is easily accessible is on the Patreon page where there’s a short video of me describing the concept if you scroll down to the About-section.

But in short:
Tankespjärn is an invitation to thinking and experiencing more, other, new, having you do a mental tumble, coming upon doors that open onto new vistas and universes. The invitation is to step through these doors, but, like with any invitation, you are free to say Yes or No.

My two blog posts on Help (Not wanting to ask for help, and The generous thing is asking for help) are examples of what might be tankespjärn for you, but then again, it might not, as each tankespjärn is an invitation, and not necessarily something for everyone. It might give rise to something to contemplate, to ask yourself questions you’ve never thought to ask, or perhaps take action where you normally don’t (or vice versa!). Or not. This might not speak to you at all, and if so, there’s probably something else that is the type of tankespjärn you need or look for at the moment. 

Something that makes me go Huh… and then I am free to take the invitation and go deeper, or shut the opened door, saying, Nah, not interested. That is what tankespjärn is, for me.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
Read More

Advent Calendar – December 1, 2019

December 1, 2019
/ / /

I went to Kenya in June of 2019, spending nine days there, on a customer trip, where I and my fellow travelers went to visit trees that we’ve all been “saving in”.  
This is me and my roommate Lena Fridlund. We had a blast throughout the journey and boy, can we laugh together! Here we are on the grounds of the Utithini Primary School after the kids had gotten some gifts, brought to them by three of our fellow companions. Lena had a selfie stick with her, and the joy of these kids at being in the picture with us was indescribable. The trip was an impactful one for me, in so many ways, and I want to share this with you. So I decided to share a picture and a short reflection or story a day, as my advent calendar for 2019. So I want to do what these kids do so well: wave HI and extend an invitation to you, to join me here until Christmas is upon us! 

Read More

On the fly

August 13, 2019
/ /
in Tip
/

Just finished my second Mastermind call, with the group I have initiated. Second one-hour call of a total of thirteen, running from August till the end of October, on a weekly basis. Four participants, and me as moderator.

The fun part is, I sent invitations for this Mastermind, on the fly. Dave the coach gave me a challenge to ”take action” during a coaching call early June, and this was what came to me: I want to start a Mastermind group for coaches and/or people interested in coaching.

When I sent out the email invites, then and there, I had nothing planned, except ”a three-month Mastermind”. I didn’t have a set starting date, no plan for content or anything really. Except, of course, six and a half years of being an active participant in my own Mastermind-group, which, as my wise friend Caspian pointed out, certainly means I am extremely grounded in the Mastermind concept as such. Had it been something which I have no experience or expertise in, I would not have made this type of invitation, that’s for sure.

So.
Just do it, on the fly.
Throw something out into the world.
Chances are (quite good actually) that if it’s something you have found value in – someone else will too.

Read More

Doing gentle – 25 – Fear brings an invite

July 3, 2016
/ / /

I used to run away from fear. Fear scared me. I thought it was something to avoid, at all costs, that which fear was warning me about. Then I got into a different relationship with fear. I learned to ask myself a verifying question to see if the fear was real, as it were, or just a figment of my imagination.

Should I send out an SOS?

(Dial 112, or 911, call the police, the fire department, an ambulance, however this is done where you live.)

Most often. (Almost always… or actually, always.) The answer would be no. The police wouldn’t come, there was no fire to put out, and none was in harm’s way. Most often, (almost always… or actually, always), it was imagined. Fear of speaking my mind. Of showing up. Of making myself visible.jump

Then it shifted again. My relationship with fear took on a third form. And this time, fear has a totally different energy to it. There’s bubbles in it. Excitement. An edge, telling me, here’s something you might want to try, my friend. An invitation, that’s what fear brings today, to me. An invitation, to step up, to level up, to become that which is within my grasp, that which I can choose to do, to be, to become. Speak my mind. Show up. Be visible.

No longer hide in the shadows of my imagined fear, but rather step into being all that I can be.

An invitation to dance. Dance in the light. Dance with the world. Dance with that which knocks at the door. Once it comes a-knocking, it’s up to me to accept the invite, or not. My choice.

Welcome to my humble abode, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I share thoughts on how I do gentle, and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

Read More