Listening within

Listening within

January 2, 2019
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Sitting down.
On the sofa.
After a very productive day.

Did the daily rituals, and the preparations for a 3-week course I am holding starting next week, and took a bike ride, and spent time with the eldest (soon off to Australia for the better part of a year. Better make the most of the time that’s left!), and started a new knitting project (Delightful, the shawl), and filled in the forms for an insurance claim, and, and, and…

Only to stop. Suddenly.
Realizing I’ve hardly breathed all day. All year.
2019 started off with me high on energy, like a Duracell bunny, going, going, going, going, going…

And I love it. I enjoy being high on energy. But I also love to reset myself. When I let me just be. Listening within… I breathe in. Out. In. Out.

Close my eyes and let myself sink into Now. Here. The isness of life.

All the books I want to read this year (no less than 75), the blog posts I want to write (all 365 of them), the burpees I want to make (a burpee a day keeps the doctor away), the meditations I want to do (Headspace ftw), the runs I want to run (no less than 75, same as for the books), the Pokémons I want to catch, the bike rides I want to take, the dates I want to have, the laughs and the cries I want to have, the podcasts I want to listen to…

It’s all there. In the future.
As it should be.
But right now, I can let it all go, and just be. Right here. Right now.
(Because Now is all there really is.)
No musts. No wants even.
Only the soft inhalation making my body expand, followed by the equally soft exhalation, body contracting.
Like the waves of the ocean, gently lapping the pebbled beach.

Listening within I pick up on the message, spoken in a low and gentle whisper:
It’s time to go to bed. Rest. Recharge. Reset.

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Wholeheartedness – Reflection May ’17

May 4, 2017
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Dropping all againstness. No. Not even dropping it. Not an act, I’ve not deliberately dropped anything, it simply vanished, disappeared into thin air. No more struggling against that which is, against that which is not, trying to transform what is or is not into the opposite position.

Feeling scared. At first.
Feeling ashamed. As well.

And then… those feelings went the same way as all my againstness; one day, simply gone.

Now. A touch of sadness remains, but also tranquility. I am with the isness of it all; nothing more, nothing less. Just that. All of it. In the isness, all that is, and all that is not is contained; held in a space of love where all is, as it is.

You bet! All of it. Every last piece of it. It’s all there.isness

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That which is

August 29, 2016
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that which isThat which is, it is. No less. No more. Just, what is.

I can like it. Or not.
I can dislike it. Or not.
It doesn’t really matter, because it is.
How I respond to it, will cause me to suffer. Or not.

Is it really as simple as that?
Yes. It is.

But just because I know this, doesn’t always mean that I like it. However, the fact of the matter is, what I believe should be, that is not, is the cause of all my suffering. Not accepting the now, the here, the isness of the present moment.

So I sit here, letting it all flow through me. All the emotions. The highs. And the lows. Especially the lows. Oh, those lows. Letting go…. letting come. Not clinging to any one emotion, or thought. Not fighting them off either. They can come. But if the answer is No when I ask How does this serve me? – then I will gently show them the door, and resist the temptation (habit?) to hold on desperately to what should be, rather than what isn’t. To frenetically fend off that which is, when I want something else instead.

That which is, it is.
What I can do, is to call forth the best me I can, under the circumstances.

Closing one door, knowing that somewhere, a door is opening. Somewhere. It will come to me. When it is time.
Until then – letting go, letting come. Like a breath. Inhale. Exhale.

Knowing, owning, accepting, that what is, is. 

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