Mark Nepo

I am not alone.

I am not alone.

June 20, 2020
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Today we recorded another episode of Buddhas by the Roadside, spending most of the time talking about (dis)embodiment. Somewhere along the lines of conversation, jumping from bare feet, to menstrual cycles, to what gets schooled out of humans during childhood and in adult life, the amazement of the designs behind the human body as well as the bodies of tigers and penguins and house-cats, I was reminded of this passage, which I’d read earlier in the morning. It can be found on June 19th in The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo.

”This is why it helps to share our journey with others, because in so doing we become a chorus of voices, and the stress of going solo lessens once we discover that we are not alone.”

I don’t remember what stepping stone(s) brought me to it in the Buddhas-conversation, but I remember why I’d snapped a photo of it upon reading it. When I went for the shotgun-approach *again*, caught myself in the act, and then sort-of did a combo shotgun/sniper rifle-approach instead, one of my fellow The Creative’s Workshoppers got inspired and wrote something along the lines of taking my lead.

”This is why it helps to share our journey with others, because in so doing we become a chorus of voices, and the stress of going solo lessens once we discover that we are not alone.”

As I read these lines, I was reminded of how happy that made me. The knowing (!) that I am not alone.

For some reason (I believe it to be deep, the need to know we are not alone. Deeply existential. The most basic fear of humans is that of being shunned. We are not solitary creatures.) knowing she’d follow along, had me exhale. In relief. Knowing (!) I am not alone.

And. If I hold it in, whatever it is that has me think I am the only person on Earth feeling this… If I hold it in, not giving anyone the opportunity, the possibility, to reach out a hand, tap me on the shoulder, and gently say Oh my friend, I know what you are feeling. Been there, done that. You are not alone.

Indeed, sharing is caring holds multiple meanings.
And I am enamored with them all.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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2019. As I am.

January 1, 2019
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As I am. 

I asked my friend D to translate “gown off” into Swedish. “Gown off” popped up in my first conversation with my new coach. I described the general feeling of that conversation, and somehow D managed, as so often (always?), put words to that which goes unspoken.

So all of a sudden, “gown off” turned into “as I am”, which feels spot on. This is how I step into 2019, filled with energy and curiosity, with champagne bubbles coursing through my entire body, eager and ecstatic to experience all that is to come, “as I am”. Naked. Raw. Intimate. With power and pleasure.

2019. The year when I will…
* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees
  • Headspace daily
  • run a minimum of  75 runs
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!)
  • continuing to ribe my bike and walk as much as possible

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about.
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it
  • blog daily
  • start to pod

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself!

2019. Here I come. As I am. Gown off! 

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#blogg100 – Limitations taken upon myself.

May 6, 2017
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”It may be interesting to ask,
What limitations have I,
unthinking,
taken upon myself?
It is very difficult for you child’s horizons
to be greater than your own.
Do something today that pushes
against your own preconceptions.
Then take your child’s hand
and gently encourage her to do the same.”

The event horizon calling me again.
Calling out to me, holding me. Safe in the knowledge that it’s not dangerous to cross over, to step beyond the edge of the known, into the wholly unknown.
Into realms brand new to me.

That in and of itself is possibly one of the greatest gifts I have to give, to myself, my children, friends and family and all those around.
The very fact of owning the concept of the event horizon, not intimidated – or, if so, at times, still not turning around, running away as fast as I can, but staying put – nor frightened – or, if so, at times, still not turning around, running away as fast as I can, but staying put.

Staying put… but not forever. Slowly inching forward Mark Nepo-style; an inch into the unknown.

Mark Nepo

If I manage this, not all the time, but enough times, then I will be pushing against my own preconceptions. There’s no way not to. By doing that, the limitations I’ve taken upon myself, unthinking, will become fewer and fewer. (Albeight they might be joined by new ones, brand new limitations, falling in line after the old and familiar ones.)

Living by example; not a burden, but a gift.
(Possibly a gift in the way the stinging nettle is a gift. If not careful, it will hurt, at least temporarily, as I pick it, to make the most yummy green smoothies, feta cheese-and-nettle-pie and nettle pesto. But the richness of all I can do with the stinging nettle, is more than enough reward when compared to the potential drawback and occational sting. The moments of me experiencing the burden of living by example are few and far apart; I neither shy away from them nor do I chase after them, becoming overwhelmed if and as they occur. I can be present to them, experience them, and let go…)

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 67 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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