moment

The time in between the seconds

The time in between the seconds

May 29, 2019
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The spaces in-between.
I have grown to love them.
To understand, value, cherish and seek them.
Rejoicing in them, when able to. Which I am not all the time. Far from it.
But as with most things… the more I am with the spaces in-between, the better I am at rejoicing in them, revelling in them, revering them.

Rectify. 
A series I just started watching.
Daniel is asked what was real to him during his years in prison. He replies:

The time in between the seconds

The in-betweens.
There they are.

Synchronicity in the making.
I’ve had a day filled with in-betweens. At a customer, all day, participating in a quality audit. Responding to questions when needed, keeping notes of what was being done and said. And in-betweens. Loads of them. Just sitting there, waiting (resting in the tranquility of it!) for the inspectors to finish reading, to come with the next question or request.

On the bus home, I watched episode two. And then… towards the end; this. A reminder!
A reminder for me, to make room for the in-betweens. Those moments of doing nothing. Waiting for the tea kettle to boil. For the final spin cycle on the washing machine to come to an end. For the red light to turn to green when out and about on my bike. For the sun to settle.

Not having to fill every moment with action – checking email, social media feeds, messages, or any number of other activities that have come to take the place, the space, of the in-betweens – but rather… simply… being? Breathing? Like balm to the soul.

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Advent Calendar 23 – Enjoying the Now!

December 23, 2018
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Woke up this morning to a white landscape, after having read in the newspaper yesterday that Christmas would be green down south in Sweden where I live. I was elated, and I was most definitely open for the magic of the ordinary, being totally awed by the transformation of the view outside my window.

I’ve shoveled snow! What a treat – and a great everyday workout as an added bonus.

Biked (!) to the grocery store – which is indeed an adventure with 10 cm of snow on the bike path -, did my Facebook Live outside and went for an evening walk, giving myself a thorough dose of the beauty of a snowy landscape. In between all of that, I’ve made vegan and vegetarian dishes for the Christmas Eve smorgasbord (spelled properly, i.e. Swedish: smörgåsbord), listening to Christmas music recorded a few years ago with the choirs of my parish (including mine, so yes, I’m in it).

Fully enjoying every moment. Because that is what there is. The Now. One after another, these Now’s are stacked upon the previous one, and all I ever really have is the Now. So I don’t care that the snow will soon start to melt away, transforming from white snow into greyish slush, turning into ice if and when the temperature drops below zero… as it is, right now, I fully enjoy it!


Advent Calendar 2018 – number 23 of 24 – on the theme of being gentle.

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Time-travelling through internal trap doors

January 14, 2017
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So much is happening. Within. I am discovering, internally, falling down trap doors that in an instant makes me a time traveller. Takes me into a different time, another situation, with people from the past. Making me react, now, as if, I was still in the past situation. Not serving me, at all. But possible for me to observe. And when I do – the chances of me falling through that specific internal trap door again, reduces. I will be less prone to time travel to a distant memory, that no longer bear any relevance to who I want to be today, how I want to show up in this moment.

discoveryI write. Loads. And you don’t get to see it. Not yet. In time – possibly?
I discover, when I write. And it makes it easier for me, to succintly share my discoveries with You. You – the one who was there, in the moment of Now, when I time travelled and almost, almost, reacted. But I didn’t. And that’s something! No. More than some-thing. That’s a lot! It matters. Every time I time travel into the past, acting from a memory or two, I am on automatic pilot. Falling through the trap door, and responding to Now, without presence. Breaking that pattern, even if only one time, means it’s possible. It means it can become probable, it can grant me help to stay in the presence, more and more. Acting, rather than reacting. Giving me a moment of pause, to observe my whereabouts, looking around me and spotting tell-tale signs of past memories. Shaking me up, bringing me back. To Now.

Which is where I want to be, when I am in connection with people who I value. I want to be present. (And no, that does not mean I won’t ever reminice with people, on shared past experiences and sweet memories. Walking down Memory Lane can be such a treat. But that’s a whole other ballgame than time travelling through internal trap-doors!)

Such an exciting path of discovery I am on!

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