Pop the cat

Wholehearted – Reflection October ’17

Wholehearted – Reflection October ’17

October 28, 2017
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Part of living wholeheartedly, for me, means sharing. Sharing what I experience, what I think about, what I struggle with and what I rejoice in. This past week has been a good example, as Pop the cat went awol on Sunday the 23rd of October. We called for him, went looking all over, posted about him being gone all over Facebook, Instagram and other “cat’s gone awol”-sites available out there. Reported him missing to the police, put up Missing-posters in the neighborhood, called the local veterinarian and in all manners made it clear that we needed help to find him again.Missing Pop the cat

And how people responded!

Came with tips and ideas, shared the Missing-cat-post all over the web, kept an eye out whenever they were out and about in the neighborhood as well as contacted me with possible Pop-sightings.

And then today, six days after he went missing, me and the kids were coming home from a festive gathering outside of town, and as we were being dropped off on the street outside our house, we all heard a cat meowing really loudly, not pleased with life at all. It sure sounded like Pop, but we’d all gone down that road so many times the past week, that we had a hard time believing it could actually be. So we took off down the street, once again, with hope bubbling up in our bellies, to find whatever cat was making such a ruckus, and a few houses down the street, there he was! In the garden of a neighbor, just let out of their garage. They’d been away, and came home to weird noises in the garage.

Me and the kids were rapturously happy, while the man of the house felt so bad. I told him not to, because he’d just made our day!Missnöjd Pop

Right now, Pop is sitting on the sofa table staring me down, pissed at me for not letting him out. Or, at least, for not providing enough food to make up for the lost food intake of the past week. I’m figuring I’ll go easy on both – wanting him inside the house at least until the morning, and a little food now and again, to make sure his system doesn’t crash and burn after going on an involuntary diet for six days.Pop back in da house

So now I’ve been sharing my joy at this moment, all over the Internet, calling the police to retract the missing-cat-report, letting everyone know Pop’s back in da house!

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Farewell 2016!

December 31, 2016
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Sitting in bed reflecting on the past year. As always when I write these yearly reflections I start off slow, not really remembering… and then, slowly, the paper is filled up, with travels, experiences and moment of learning. One by one they add up, to form an amazing cavalcade of (parts of) what 2016 brought forth for me.

popPop the cat
A year ago he moved in with us, Pop the cat. This wonderfully friendly cat, who’s managed to charm not just us, but most of the neighborhood. He likes to take walks with us, but as the generous cat he is, he doesn’t restrict himself to family only, but gladly hooks up with anyone going for a walk along the neighborhood.

Writers retreat
Finally got my act together to set up my very own, personal, writers retreat in January. My friend Therese let me use her sweet little guest house in the deep forests of Småland, and I wrote, wrote and wrote some more. A wonderful experience, that I promised myself on a quarterly basis. I didn’t manage that – but the ambition still holds! – but I did manage a second writers retreat in October. This time around Sus in Sävsjö provided the location (Småland again!), and me and Sara wrote, wrote and wrote some more on our joint book project. We booked several more writers retreats in the spring, to ensure that we – in 2017 – will create all the material we deem necessary, to take the project to the next phase.

A course in a special type of falsetto singing used traditionally in Sweden to get the cattle to come home
I don’t even know how to translate kulning, which is the Swedish word for this course. Anyway, it was great fun, and absolutely crazy! I found a course in my Facebook-feed, which I shared because it was enticing to me. I hesitated though, until Sara from the writers retreat actually went and registered for it. Then and there I decided to join her, so in June we spent two days singing this special type of sone, in the wonderful surroundings of Stenshuvud. We let loose strong forces of nature, that’s for sure!

Seattle/Vancouver-trip with the family
The first item that I actually managed to cross off my Bucket List! Almost three weeks together in Seattle, on the Olympic Peninsula, in Vancouver and with a shorter trip on Iceland than planned – however, still long enough to give us the opportunity to experience the Blue Lagoon.bluelagoon_photo_1I want to give you a tip as well, AirHelp assisted us when the final flight back from Iceland was more than four hours delayed. We ended up getting a quarter of the flight cost for the entire trip back!

This has been a turbulent year – on the inside! – which culminated this fall, when me and hubby separated after fourteen years. This has resulted in many a reflections and countless tears, but also lots of love, closeness, laughter and wamrth, in so many levels. I am trying my best to stay open through out the ongoing process, rather than closed off. Because who says a love relationship has to look a certain way? Why not create the form that makes me and my loved ones feel the best we can, regardless if that would deviate from the norm or not? The exploration will continue in 2017, and I know this: together we are taking responsibility for the wellbeing of the entire family, which feels really good.

Medvetna ValIntentional Decisions
The book! What a journey. And what marvellous co-travellers I’ve been honored to co-create the book Medvetna Val – från offerkofta till möjlighetsmantel with! (The book is in Swedish and the title talks about the intentional decision to go from victimhood to acting on possibilities.) And the adventure will continue, that’s for sure. I look forward to it all, with the possible exception of the Swedish Book fair in Gothenburg in the fall. I was there this fall, and would gladly skip it next time around. Perhaps it was due to the impending separation and lots of uncertainty in my personal life at the moment, but regardless, there’s so much energy in the air in such occasions, that it drains me, more than rejuvenates me. Although I was thrilled at finally meeting up with the one and only Klas Parknäs in 3D and that was a great gift!

God Man – acting legal guardian for unaccompanied minors
My first Good Child (the Swedish term God Man, litteralt translates into Good Man so I call the children under my charge my Good Children!) turned eighteen which meant he no longer was deemed in need of my services, but in the nick of time, I got him registered for school, thanks to the willingness and flowing humanity of various officials. My second Good Child who has a permanent residence permit, also turned eighteen this fall, and he’s got enough drive to last him his entire lifetime. It will take him far! Am no longer God Man for him either, for the same reason (turned eighteen) but we stay in touch and each time I see him I rejoice! When my youngest Good Child turned thirteen, and two months later got a permanent residence permit, I cried from happiness and relief. All of this warms my heart!

But sometimes, my heart breaks instead. Since two months back, my forth Good Child (also turned eighteen, so I am no longer acting legal guardian) sleep in my living room on a cot we set up for him. In the middle of January we are called to the Migration court as a result of having appealed the ruling of the Swedish Migration Board not to let him stay in Sweden. I would like to ask you to keep us in your thoughts – the odds that the court will overturn the ruling are not good. But there is a chance, and that’s what we try to keep in mind! And if you, or anyone you know, can assist us with arranging better living accommodations for him than a spare bed in my living room, please get in touch!

Two blogs and writing
A year ago, at long last, I separated my Swedish and English writings. My blog up till then had become a jumble of Swedish and English posts, and it felt messy. Now it’s purely Swedish and English respectively, and it feels much better to me. I often write in the mornings, and when I sit down, I just start writing, in one of the two languages. Whatever comes comes. Very interesting, as I never really know what language it will be. I do enjoy writing, that’s for sure, and I’ve got several book projects cooking, so the story will continue…

Pop på promenadPokémon Go
In Seattle, during the summer, Pokémon Go was released, which had my son immediately expropriate my cell phone, to toks balls hither and dither. I started an account myself, but not until we got back to Sweden and organized the youngsters cell phone-problems, did I start playing for real. And what joy this has given me this past fall! I’ve walked and walked, alone and with my son, and since Christmas Day, much to our mutual delight, my daughter has also joined us in playing. So you can bet on us continuing to chase Pokémons in the vicinity. It’s a very easygoing and humble way to hang with the kids, and at the same time be outside in motion. Cat the Pop often joins us when we take our Pokémon-chasing-walks, which adds to the charm.

rågsurdegsbullarGetting issues on the roof fixed; re-planting the front yard; repairing the kitchen cooker hood fan and exchanging the refrigerator door seal; finally ordering a large amount of fire wood for the fireplace.
Odds and ends (called sourdoughs in Swedish, which gives you a bit of colloquialism to enjoy) that haven’t made it off the To-Do-list in years, now actually got done. And actual sourdough as well! I attended a cooking class in September with Jan Hedh, a famous Swedish pastry cook and baker, who gave us all a bit of a rye sourdough originating in San Fransisco 1969. It’s thriving at home with us, and I bake a couple of times every month.

Our Stories
Took a Walk n Talk with Anders Roos the first week of January, connected by Inga-Lill, who had a hunch that we should meet. She didn’t know why, but boy was she ever right! Our Walk led me and Anders Nordgren to join Anders inco-creating a project that he came up with, and had started to act upon.

The project ”Våra Berättelser – vi som flytt(at) hit” (which means “Stories of those who’ve moved or fled here”) is a photo- and text project where people who’ve enriched our country for more than half a century will tell their stories. The public debate centers on fear, with a focus on difficulties and costs. We need a material that shows all the benefits we’ve received from the people who’ve come here, but more than that, material that will show who they are.

That’s how we describe it, this very important project close to my heart, where I will be the one producing the texts. And for certain, this is not the last you will hear about this!

Häringe SlottCastle weekend
Ann had a big birthday so she invited ladies close to her heart for a castle weekend. Not a lot of ladies actually made it to the weekend, which perhaps was for the best, because it surely was a god’s send! Spending the weekend just being, held in love, by some of my closest friends, was rejuvenating. You know how important this was for me, just then, just there, but still: thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

My hands have started to work again. I am in creation mode! I’ve knotted caps, wrist warmers, wash cloths, a wonderful shawl and am busy making a sweater. I cannot even remember last time I knitted myself a sweater… but now I’ve got one going!

To be precise, 4806 burpees since May 28th 2016, when I was invited to joined a 100-day-burpee-challenge by a friend. 3000 burpees in the first one hundred days, and since then, I just kept going. I do burpees every day – haven’t gone a day without at least a few, since May 28th! – and have, in 2016, done four thousand eight hundred six of them.

This, and so much more, is the gifts 2016 brought for me! I collect all these memories of the past year, and let go of what I don’t need to bring with me into 2017. Letting go of that which no longer serves, to be able to let come what which want’s to happen!

With the warmest gratitude I send you wishes of a wonderful new and happy year ahead. I surely look forward to what will manifest for us all in 2017!

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Out for a walk

May 28, 2016
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I’ve always been to impatient to ever train my cats to walk by the leash. However, several times I’ve lived with cat’s who have been trained by others, and I’ve occasionally enjoyed taking a walk with them. But more than anything I enjoy taking a walk with a cat, as equal partners. Not putting the leash on, but rather, me headed out for a walk and a cat joining me. On their own volition.

Now that I think about it, I remember the walks I used to take with my cat Bilbo, who died, oh, quite a few years ago. Eight-nine years ago possibly? Anyway. He was a special cat and highly loved. Me and him used to go mushroom picking in the forest surrounding the small cottage in Småland that my extended family utilized many years ago. I would take the wicker basket on my arm, and head out, and he’d join me. We would continuously talk to each other, meowing back and forth, as we walked, loosing visual, but always within hearing distance. I enjoyed that so much.


The other day, my three-year old cat Pop, who’s only been with us since January 2016, came with me, as I headed out for an after-lunch-walk in Bulltofta, the recreational area across the street from where we live. And he did the same as Bilbo used to do. Kept talking to me, so I talked back. We passed the allotments, keeping in close contact.


As I tried to walk along the gravel path, he disagreed with my choice and led me across the frisbee-golf field, up onto another path, where I marveled about the wondrous design of dandelions.


Most often I took the lead and he followed behind. Sometimes he had me retrace my steps, because he clearly found a better route for us. I obeyed, of course, and he was always right.

After roughly one kilometer walking together, he dumped me. I went to the library, and to the grocery shop, and he went his own way, on his walk-about in the woods.


And then… a well-deserved rest on the sofa. What a treat, to have such a sweet presence staying with us, clearly enjoying our company, completely safe in the bosom of the family. How grateful I am that our paths crossed!

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A life Lived?

April 15, 2016
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Hubby at AfterWork.
Daugher at the movies.
Just me, son and cat at home.

So we chill. Have left-overs for dinner. Agree to watch a movie. Together. I suggest Despicable me, which I have yet to see. He agrees, even though he’s seen it. More than once. But. Alas…. nowhere to be found (on Netflix at least).

So we sit down in front of the computer, and flick thru the movies available. Wanting to spend a few hours together, but with what? At long last, I spot The Intouchables and suggest it. He requested a funny yet exciting movie, and I said This movie has everything you requested, and loads of it. I click on the little arrow, divulging a short description of the movie. He reads and says, Let’s go.

The IntouchablesSo we do. I push play and settle down.
Watch. Laugh. Have deep whispered conversations.
Sit close, curled up together under the blanket, occasionally with Pop the cat accompanying us in the sofa.

And I just love it.
Love the connection.
The shared laughter.
Mutual insights into life.

A life Lived? Or a life Endured?

Those are some of the questions popping into my mind once the outro starts to roll with the credits when the movie comes to an end. Life can be lived – and Driss is a great catalyst for a life lived – or it can be endured.

In my life, the choice is mine. No one elses.

What will I chose? What will you?

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