reality

It Is.

It Is.

March 30, 2020
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It is!

I did press Launch (but not today, I actually launched it last night, thanks to two fellow TCW:ers kicking me very lovingly in the butt. 💚), and all of a sudden… there’s the feeling of being slightly embarrassed. Feeling a bit awkward. As if I am already second-guessing myself. Shouldn’t I have put more effort into it after all? Perhaps I shouldn’t promote it until I can get a better introductory video made, and have gotten a bit more material up on the site, and…

But, once again, I have a choice.
A choice of whether or not to put my focus on these thoughts and their corresponding feelings, or not.

And I choose not to. I feel it –heck, I’m even letting these thoughts step up and get their moment in the spotlight right here, right now– but that’s enough. I have better use for my energy than to waste it beating myself up over any imagined faux pas of mine. 

Because the truth is this: It Is. 

The #tankespjärn-community is now a reality.
I hold the space, and I opened the space.
But everyone is invited to dance.

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Advent Calendar 9 – Dream!

December 9, 2018
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Do you dream?
And more importantly, do you act on your dreams?

To dream is important. And sadly, I think there are a lot of people who don’t dare to dream… or perhaps rather don’t act on making dreams come true, whether or not they are big or small dreams. (It doesn’t matter if your dreams are big or small. As long as you dream.)

And I do think that is sad, because most of us, who have the type of life I do, live lives of such comfort and safety, that dreaming and acting upon our dreams is definitely something for us to do. There are many others, who actually have a much harder time to dream, who perhaps don’t even know how to. But that is far from my reality. I am a citizen of one of the most rich countries of the world, I own a company, have a house, a family and the Swedish social security system to back me up. That is my reality. And likely your reality is akin to mine, where you are not struggling to survive on a daily basis.

So. Dream. And act on it. Try, rather thank think you can, or cannot. And why not use design thinking, where you iterate loops of planning – doing – analyzing – tweaking and then starting over again. Rather than try to eat the elephant whole, go at it in smaller pieces, starting with a tail or an ear. Bite-sized actions, taking steps towards achieving your dreams. That’s what it means to live, rather than to be in survival mode.

I mean… what have you got to loose by acting upon your dreams?


Advent Calendar 2018 – number 9 of 24 – on the theme of being gentle

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A matter of perspective

February 10, 2018
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in Tip
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There is not one truth, there are many, all depending upon our perspective. It’s all a matter of perspective, and the sooner we actually start to live our lives based on that understanding, I think the world will change for the better, both for the individual as well as society at large.

Hillary Diane Andales impressed me with her entry into the Breakthrough Junior Challenge of 2017 (a challenge she actually won!), where she explains this very clearly:

So the really mind-blowing idea here is that observer’s in different frames will perceive different version of the same reality. And every observer’s frame is equally valid. So before you start to make any observational arguments with others, first imagine yourself observing through their reference frames. 

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Knock you upside the head with a shovel?

November 26, 2017
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in Tip
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I’ve written over and over again about the podcast of Julia Butterfly Hill interviewed by Chris Martenson on Peak Prosperity. Find it on iTunes or here: http://www.peakprosperity.com/podcast/85294/julia-butterfly-hill-living-meaning

I talked to you about how every so often, the way life works, sooner or later, life might pick up a shovel and knock you upside the head with it. When we get resentful, fearful, and anxious, it is like picking up the shovel and hitting ourselves back in the head with it. It does not actually pick up the shovel and use it for something constructive. It just knocks us back in the head with it. Whereas if we can shift our thoughts, we can maybe take that shovel and do something constructive with it.

Now. I know there is no way for me to control what thoughts come into my head. NO WAY! I cannot control this. However. If/When I get a “You silly twat, I’m gonna hit you over the head with a shovel“-thought into my head, what I can do is control how I react on it. When Julia say “shift your thoughts” this is how I interpret her. I don’t have to act on the thought, I don’t have to believe the thought, and I definitely don’t have to act in a way that doesn’t serve me. I can just as easily act in a way that does serve me.

It’s all thought, it’s not Truth.

I’ve become better and better at not hitting myself with said shovel. Because, you see, I used to be champion of the world in this field, for a long long time. But I realized that it’s not serving me AT ALL to hold this world championship title! So I’ve gradually learned not to go there, not to believe the “You silly twat, I’m gonna hit you over the head with a shovel“-thoughts, and more importantly, not to hang onto them. When they come, they come. Nothing I can do about that. But I have a choice in how I respond and relate to that thought.

There’s a quote by Wayne Dyer that goes like this:

You create your thoughts,
your thoughts create your intentions,
and your intensions create your reality.

Now. I agree with the two latter parts, but not the “I create my thoughts”-part. Because I don’t create them. So I’d like to rephrase:

image

So, what do you do when you get a “You silly twat, I’m gonna hit you over the head with a shovel“-thought? And does that response serve you?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

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Terrible, thanks for asking

October 8, 2017
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in Tip
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Terrible, thanks for askingI found a new podcast to listen to, thanks to the New York Times podcast club on Facebook. It’s called Terrible, thanks for asking, and on the surface it might seem to be a “true life drama junkie”-podcast. This is how it’s described:
You know how every day someone asks “how are you?”. And even if you’re totally dying inside, youn just say “fine”, so everyone can go about their day? This show is the opposite of that. Hosted by author and notable widow (her words) Nora McInerny, this is a funny/sad/uncomfortable podcast about talking honestly about our pain, our awkwardness, and our humanness, which is not an actual word.

As I don’t peg myself a “true life drama junkie”, or a drama junkie at all for that matter, this podcast isn’t that at all, in my experience. It’s not a “revel in our horrible stories and sympathise like crazy with the storytellers while being happy as hell it’s not my own life”-podcast. Rather it’s a podcast where I can empathize with people having (had) various experiences that affected them and their lives.

Having only listened to a handful of episodes so far, the fifth one titled Help me remember is the episode that’s affected me the most so far. Grace, the daughter of Dawn Pereda whom the show is about, is wise beyond her years, and it hurts to hear her wisdom spoken out loud like this. It hurts, because she’s twelve, and she’s already experienced enough trauma, heartache and concern to last a lifetime. And yet, she continues on with her life, with grace, enormous grace.

I cannot help but think:
Here’s a young child who’s learned the hard way that the stories she tells herself shape her reality, making her deliberately very careful to create the best reality she can, given her circumstances.

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one. 

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What we focus on becomes our reality.

November 9, 2016
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What do we know?

One thing and one thing only: Donald Trump won more electoral votes than Hillary Clinton, and hence will *barring unforeseen circumstances* be the next president of the United States.

Will it be a disaster? The end of the world as we know it?
Will Trump build a wall along the Mexican border, stop muslims from entering the US and put a ban on free trade by imposing high taxes on goods from China and Europe?

We don’t know.
Because none of it has actually happened. It’s definitely not happening now, right this minute. But given the outrage and horror, it might as well have. But it hasn’t, not yet.

And yes. It might happen. For sure. But it’s also possible (perhaps not probable, but definitely possible) that it might not happen.

We. Just. Don’t. Know.

And no. I see no good in Trump becoming POTUS, that’s for sure. I have a hard time taking the guy seriously, and for the life of me, have a hard time understanding how the Republican Party ended up where it’s at right now. But still. Nothing has happened, yet. So why waste a lot of energy focussing on what horrible things we think might happen? Why not put that energy to better use instead?BoldomaticPost_What-we-focus-on-becomes-our

Welcome your feelings of horror, despair, anger, frustration, of being scared for what might be. They will come anyway, because they are a part of the human experience on earth. We feel. The entire spectrum. All that is possible to experience, we experience. But you can let the feelings that don’t serve you particularly, wash over you, and continue on their way. You don’t have to invite them in, make up the guest bed and serve them dinner. That’s a choice you can make. Because, and this is important: What we focus on becomes our reality.

So make sure you focus on that which you want to see in the world, rather than what you don’t want to see. What we give energy to, grows stronger. Chose wisely and with great care, given the state of the world right now, what to feed with your attention – my choice is love, cocreation, playfulness. Honesty, care and empathy. And many many other things, that all make up parts of what constitutes living a good life in my view.

What do you chose to give energy to?

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What is reality?

October 20, 2016
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Reality. The stuff, the world; that which we live in. Right?

Or.
Is it perhaps what I make of the world I live in? Am I shaped by reality? Or do I shape my reality?

What do I bring, to the experience I have of the world? My world, rather than The world?

How do I warp the reality into my reality just by having myself be the filter that everything I take in, gets filtered through?

I don’t know precisely what my filter adds to reality as I perceive it. I don’t need to. But knowing That my filter adds to reality, as I know it, is crucial. Understanding this, means I know that no other person on earth can have the exact same experience of the world as I have. No one. Everyone has their own unique filter, through which we take in that which we live in.

So the next time you and a friend talk about a shared experience, and you cannot understand how your friend says X happened, even though you know for a fact it was Y. This is the reason. You both took in the facts of the situation through your personal filter. It’s a bit like applying a filter on a photograph in Instagram. The starting point is the same, but the result can be just about anything, an endless diversity.

Given that – what is reality, really?

Since 2012 I have blogged over at herothecoach.com in a jumble of Swedish and English. This post is a sample of what I’ve been writing – in English – there over the years. As of 2016 all my English posts appear here instead. I hope you enjoy this #ThrowbackThursday, originally published here, and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts.

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