role model

The self-care mastery of cats

The self-care mastery of cats

November 3, 2018
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in Tip
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What are you thinking about?, I asked.

He looked at Pop the cat lying next to him on the sofa, carefully grooming himself, and said I am thinking about the self-care of cats. They are absolute masters at self-care. Look at him – carefully, meticulously and with the greatest care in the world, he’s gently taking really good care of himself. Licking his front leg, over and over, slowly brushing his leg over his face, licking once more, brushing his face. He, like all cats, simply excels at self-care.

Boom.
Yes!
That’s it.
That is what cats are, the self-care masters of the world!

I greatly enjoy watching Pop when he wakes up in the morning (often at the foot end of my bed, where he gladly can stay the entire night – never too long in one place, in one position, knowing, albeit he’s deep in sleep, that his body still needs to move to be supple in the morning), slowly stretching, growing to twice his length by reaching as far as he can with both front and hind legs. Twisting and turning his spine, getting vertebraes, blood, muscles and sinews going – mimicking Turning Torso, or rather, giving a perfect example of why Calatrava called his building just that.

And as I sit here, in the sofa once more (yes. I like my sofa.), guess who just came to snuggle up close to me? Yup, Pop the cat. And guess what he’s doing? Yup, practicing self-care! He’s a great role model, and an even greater reminder for me to practice self-care, as he’s around a lot (which he is because he’s a truly sociable cat, enjoying the company of people young and old alike).

My morning green smoothie, my Seven, my Headspace-meditation, my blogging, my reading, my moving around – a walk, a bike ride, a slow run. Those are the self-care-practices that come to mind, when I think about it. Having deep conversations with significant friends is another one, that is high on the list.

What type of self-care do you practice? And who is your guiding light, your role model, reminding you about taking good care of yourself?

 

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A sucker for romantic love

August 27, 2017
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in Tip
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There’s one episode of Good Life Project that I’ve listened to over and over again, for the past year. It’s called When life partners become business partners: Linda & Charlie Bloom, and even disregarding all the wisdom contained in the conversation, it is one of those easy-going and flowing conversations between Jonathan and the Bloom’s, that makes me want to cuddle up and just sit listening to them all day long.

Linda and Charlie Bloom have a wonderful rapport, and their love, respect and awareness in what they do and say and how they act towards one another, makes me long to experience the same. I am most definitely a sucker for the all-encompassing, life-long romantic and highly conscious love, that’s clear to me. Especially so, after also having read Alain De Botton’s book The Course of Love last year, a book that I rated 3 out of 5 stars on GoodReads with this review:

An unusual grip, letting us follow along in a course of love, while being witnesses to a couple meeting, marrying, having kids and so on. Quite interesting, that’s for sure. And what a punch in the face for the all-encompassing romantic love… 

sucker for romantic loveSo I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Is the Bloom-experience something which has happened for these two amazing people, making them outliers in a gigantic coordination system of human relationships, whereas the vast majority of us (the rest of humankind) will never ever have even the most minute of chances of actually experiencing something like it? Am I bonkers for believing it is within my grasp, that somewhere, somehow, there is the possibility of such a relationship for me?

I know the Bloom’s are not the only couple on Earth experiencing a romantic relationship as rich and rewarding as theirs; at the same time, I honestly believe relationships such as theirs is clearly in the minority. Most relationships likely never turn as deep and intentional as theirs. But is it because it’s “not possible” for the rest of up to attain that level of depth? Or is it more cause and effect; being in a minority, most of us have never witnessed anything like it, and hence most of us stumble along, in inadequately close but not close enough (not as close as they could be) relationships, never having had such a role model-relationship close by, to learn from, be inspired by, witness?

And even if we are lucky enough to actually be in the vicinity of such a relationship – would it truly benefit us? I mean – how to create a life together like this, how to be such a life partner, how to become a human, to evolve as a human being together with another soul – is not a topic that comes up a lot, is it? It’s not something we talk to our kids about: What works, what doesn’t work and what is missing from mum and dad’s relationship? is seldom the topic of conversation over dinner at home, is it? In my experience it’s seldom the topic even between the two (or more) souls directly involved in the relationship as such? But maybe it should be? Maybe there’s a lot to gain from having these conversations with those around us? Or am I totally losing it here? What do you think?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one.

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#blogg100 – Worthy of imitation.

May 13, 2017
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The parents Tao Te Ching is brimful of little nuggets (and large ones for that matter). Nuggets that makes me gasp for air, shake my head with regret at what I’ve omitted to give my children during their upbringing, nod in agreement, rejoice at having learned how to and what I actually have done as a role model for them… and every other sentiment available for a parent, regardless of the age of the children. Mine are seventeen going on eighteen, and twelve going towards thirteen.

kidsAs I read and experience all of the above mentioned, and then some, I don’t wallop myself over the head, blaming myself for not having been a better parent, damning myself for not doing that, or for doing this. No. What has been has been, and that’s as it should be. But I can look at it, what has been, and take it in – what I did, what I did not. Why I did, why I did not. Looking within, reflecting, daring myself to look in the mirror that the book holds up in front of me, and with an open heart and mind, look at my reflection.

Gently, I look at myself, at what I see, at what the past has to show me, and learn from it. Because there’s a lot of road ahead of me, as a parent, still. It is not too late to ask for forgiveness, for those things I’ve done or not, that might have been harmful in some way. Acknowledging it, and, more importantly, learning from it. Trying out new ways to parent, new ways of relating to my precious children, as they are fast approaching adulthood. Being the best parent and person I can, in words as well as action. Because, and we all know this, and it’s one of the first quotes in the foreword to the book as well, in the words of James Baldwin:

”Children have never been very good at listening to what their parents tell them, but they never fail to imitate them.”


And as they come of age, being a role model worthy of imitation has never felt as important. Giving me great cause to continue to learn, to grow, expand as a human being. To continue to walk the path of my life, with gentleness and curiosity, making sure I grasp every opportunity to laugh and enjoy life to it’s utmost.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 74 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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