screw up

Advent Calendar 15 – It’s on me!

Advent Calendar 15 – It’s on me!

December 15, 2018
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I screwed up.

The screw up has consequences, for me as well as others, involving time, effort and money.

And it’s on me. I take full responsibility for it because I screwed up.
Of course, I could blame other people. For not being more observant. For not informing me. For whatever…

But I don’t. It’s on me.
I wasn’t observant enough. I didn’t ensure I was informed enough.
It’s. On. Me.

And guess what?
That feels good.
Taking responsibility for what I did, feels great, actually.

And it also helps me to accept what has happened. Thereby I avoid wasting my energy on banging myself over the head for what I did. Thoughts like You dumb idiot, Helena, how stupid you are? Why on earth didn’t you stop this from happening? pop into my head, sure. But why waste time and energy entertaining this and similar thoughts? Thoughts that don’t serve me or anyone else, in any way, what so ever. Because it has happened. I cannot undo it, however much I try.

I can learn from it though. Take steps to ensure it will not happen again. Cast a wider net on the screw up; perhaps my learnings from today can be utilized in other types of situations?

All in all, accepting and taking responsibility for what happened, it is the most gentle thing I can do.


Advent Calendar 2018 – number 15 of 24 – on the theme of being gentle.

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Doing gentle – 14 – Let yourself off the hook

April 17, 2016
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You don’t have to be wise and all-knowing all the time. You don’t have to take on the injustices of the entire world, just because you, in your clearest moments, can see them, and know deep within your heart what is needed to make the world a better place.

It’s not on you. It’s not your responsibility. Let yourself off the hook. off the hook

And know this: It’s a work to be done together, by us all. We all play a part in creating the world, moment by moment, and when one person falters, someone else will pick up the slack, making sure the chain isn’t broken.

We’re in this together, and no individual is responsible for it all. That’s not what being gentle to oneself means. Being gentle means seeing my part as part of the whole, and knowing that as humans, we do stumble, falter, make mistakes and royally screw up, once in a while. Don’t beat yourself up over that. If you didn’t screw up once in a while – why would you still be here, on earth, having a human experience? You wouldn’t, in my view. Being human means just that. We screw up. Sometimes big, sometimes small. What matters is what we do afterwards. Take responsibility for your mistakes, and learn from them. Maybe you’ll avoid that mistake in the future, maybe you can help someone else who’s in the same mess you were before. Use it. Wisely.

Together we can cover for each other.

Welcome to my site, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I share thoughts on how I do gentle, and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

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