seriously

Doing gentle – 17 – Who cares?

Doing gentle – 17 – Who cares?

May 8, 2016
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Did you know that this simple phrase hold a lot of power:

Who cares?

Try it. Say it. Ask it, of yourself.
In situations where you feel ashamed, vulnerable, ridiculed, embarrassed, made a fool of. When you forgot, or never understood in the first place, when you ask a question only to be told it was answered already. When someone gives you ”the look”; you know the one, raised eye brows, looking down his/her nose at you. When you imagine yourself not being good enough, fit enough, smart enough, beautiful enough. Not being enough. Unworthy. Insufficient. Worthless. A total and utter failure.

In those situations, more and more often I ask myself: Who cares? I mean – really cares? who cares

Asking myself this question makes it easier for me to fall out of the misconception that everything centers around me. The feeling that e v e r y b o d y  in the room must have noticed my mistake, that all everyone is talking about is the giant pimple in the middle of my forehead, the sensation that all eyes are upon me and therefore I must be the topic of the day, for everyone. Who really cares about me? About my pimple? About my slip up? I mean – really? Anyone? Or is it more likely something people in my surrounding will shrug off, perhaps feel a bit of kinship and recognition with, or possibly not even notice because they themselves are so busy thinking about their slip up, their pimple, their stumble?

Now. This can easily be misunderstood. And I get that. It’s perhaps less risk of misunderstanding this, if you’d hear me ask you Who cares? spoken in a soft voice, with a lot of humor and love in it. Spoken from that place, for me, asking Who cares? opens up the possibility to stop taking myself so seriously. That’s the context I use it in, and if you’re willing, try it yourself.

Welcome to my new website, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I share thoughts on how I do gentle, and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

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Doing gentle – 11 – Play!

March 27, 2016
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Play. Oh how I have resisted this. Taken myself so seriously. The pain I’ve inflicted upon myself, telling myself it’s important to be right, vital not to appear silly, crucial to be well-poised and serious. Pain. Yes. I use that word. Because it’s been painful. The loss of face can hurt a lot, when the concept of face has been blown out of all proportions in my inner dialogue. When I’ve created a narrative around myself, that being playful, silly, happy and lighthearted is wrong. Bad. A sign of a weak character. Unworthy. And so on…

Guess what?play
I have started to practice to play. To experiment with it. With me.

And it’s gotten to the point, where I am quite good at playing mentally. In my mind, with my thoughts. I’ve learned not to take my thoughts so seriously, not putting so much weight on them. But physically…. that’s harder for me. I’ve kept myself under such a tight regime, not allowing my body to express playfulness, silliness, happiness.

What if I let the little child within out? Allowing, no, more than that, inviting her to come out and play? When I do, I feel silly. Self-conscious, oh so self-conscious. Thinking everybody is looking at me, pointing fingers, laughing at how silly I am. Sometimes it helps knowing that everybody else has the same thoughts. Or at least, a huge majority does. But why should I let this stop me? How does that serve me?

What if, we all stopped taking ourselves so seriously? What if, we lived life, as if life is a playground instead? A place to play, experiment, have fun, be silly, laugh until we wet our pants, and expand as human beings?

Welcome to my new website, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. On Sundays I share thoughts on how I do gentle, and I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts in this series.

Read More