Sydney Banks

Live the beauty of today.

#blogg100 – Beyond the simple and quiet words.

June 2, 2017
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“[…] do not think that the man who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words which sometimes do you good. His life has much hardship and sadness and lags far behind you. If it were otherwise, he could never have found those words.”

multi-dimensionalI was reminded of these words by Rilke – penned in a letter to the young poet, corresponding with Rilke back and forth; letters which have been turned into the book Letters to a young poet, a book which I’ve read a couple of times, and will definitely revisit again, when the time is right – during a CoachWalk with a client. The blissed-out-and-always-happy-camper-personas that sometimes is what comes across, in interaction with someone in one form or another, I perceive as shallow and one-dimensional. And as I honestly don’t think anyone actually can be one-dimensional, I conclude that they probably aren’t, even though it seems to me, they work hard at making it appear as if they are.

Anyway. People are not one-dimensional, we are multi-dimensional, and as such, the entire spectrum of emotions is present, at one time or another. For me, it’s a deliberate choice to try to share not just a few ”happy and blissed out”-aspects of my emotional spectrum, but to share a broader range of what I face, as a soul having a human experience here on Earth. Come hell or high water, I try to let myself feel it all. Sometimes that can be very painful. And sometimes it’s bliss!

People that I, in turn, listen to, speaking words that sometimes does me good – are multi-dimensional as well. Light and shadow – co-existing and in the contrast of one against the other, I gain a sense of perspective and – sometimes – a touch of wisdom, coming to me in the form of insights. I try to listen to the words that are being said, because I do think words matter, but at the same time, I know that what’s behind the words matter even more. Sydney Banks takes it even one step further when he states that:

“Words are merely a form. Listen not to words, but to that which words attempt to convey.”

That’s what I believe was the difference that made a difference in the life of the young poet – he noticed something in the direction of the words that Rilke wrote, something that gave him the strength to carry on writing.

For me to be able to listen to that which the words are attempting to convey, I have to be open to what happens within me, while listening. Sometimes easy, sometimes hard; but as I persist, in time, it does get less and less hard I’ve found. It’s as if I’m fine-tuning my ability to listen beyond the words, picking up on smaller and smaller nuances, getting to know myself on a deeper level. Beyond the simple and quiet words.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 94 of 100.
A mash-up of the book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke and “The missing link” by Sydney Banks.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Beyond the word.

May 17, 2017
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Missing link“No one can give away wisdom. A teacher can only lead you to it via words, hoping you will have the courage to look within yourself and find it inside your own consciousness…

Beyond the word.”

Standing in front of a group, of fifty, sixty, seventy people, having a basic outline of what to say, what to point at, all the while knowing it’s precisely this that is needed for it to make any significant impact: for them to have the courage (or perhaps curiosity? What if we talk about it in terms of requiring curiosity rather than courage? Might it not be easier to step an inch into the unknown then? Curious invokes a less dangerous sensation within than Courage does, at least in me. What about you?) to look within. To consider what they hear, see, experience, to let it sit. Not outright rejecting what is said off hand, not necessarily swallowing it hook, line and sinker either. But truly, letting it sit within – tasting, feeling, sensing. Being open enough to try it out, looking at – and acting in! – the world from a different angle, gifting yourself a new perspective.

Going beyond the words of what I say, being quiet enough to hear what is voiced within. Perhaps, there you will find something new? Something – beyond the word – which makes your universe expand?

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 78 of 100.
The book “The missing link” by Sydney Banks.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Close your eyes.

April 29, 2017
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“That the deaf man cannot hear
the sound of the crashing ocean
waves, or the blind man cannot
see the beauty of an autumn sky,
does not mean the sea and the
sky do not exist.

So, like the blind man, close
your eyes.

Like the deaf man, block your
ears; go inside and realize… that
which you seek has been there,
within you, all along.

This is when the blind will see
and the deaf will hear.”

crashing waves

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 60 of 100.
The book “The Missing Link” by Sydney Banks.
 Page 43.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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Selecting a teacher

April 7, 2016
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Selecting a Teacher 
There are so many teachers in the world and so many theories about life. 
When selecting a teacher, ask yourself… 
Is my teacher a well-balanced person? Is she or he happy? 
Does my teacher reflect and demonstrate the quality of life I desire? 
If the answer to any of these questions is no, move on in your journey.
Otherwise you may become one of the blind, led by the blind.
Sydney Banks, from The Missing Link

You can exchange the word teacher with other words, such as guide, coach, leader, boss, spiritual guide, enabler. The word doesn’t really matter anyway, but oh, how these words ring true for me.

I remember Lama Kathy Wesley stating in one of my favorite podcasts how important she felt it to be to look at the elders of any tradition of faith that you found interesting. By their appearance, health, harmony, you know, whether or not to venture forth into that tradition or not. In a nutshell, she’s stating exactly the same thing as Syd Banks is pointing to.

And at the same time, well-balanced doesn’t mean a person who is “perfect”, and never gets out of whack. On the contrary, I would say. I do not require my teacher, coach, guide (yeah, you get it! That whatever-word you place here!) to be “a perfect human being”, in the meaning that they do not live the human experience.

Because that’s part of the trick for me – living life, experiencing all the up’s and down’s of human experience, and doing it with grace, with balance (that is, returning to balance when off-centered for a moment or two), and a lot of love, laughter and light. Tears commingle with laughter, grief with ecstatic joy, boredom with the feeling of flow where time seemingly disappears. All of that is part of the human experience, but how I live into it, or perhaps, how I live out of it, is what tells a well-balanced person apart for me.

BoldomaticPost_Selecting-a-Teacher-There-areWriting this, I just had an insight.

This quote isn’t only about looking for external teachers. It’s also a great reminder to myself, on my ability to be my own guide and enabler.

When I am well-balanced, happy, reflecting and demonstrating the qualities of life that I desire – then I am a good teacher for myself.

And when I am the opposite (off-centered, miserable, definitely not demonstrating the qualities of life I desire, but rather the opposite), it serves me well to remember to take myself a lot less seriously, as it’s as if I am one of the blind, leading myself. And boy does it hurt when I stumble into all sorts of obstacles along the way, attempting to lead my blind self. In situations like that, the best thing I can do is to pause, to stop in my tracks, and wait for vision to return. Go about my day, doing the routine things that I can do blind-folded, staying clear of making radical decisions, and not expecting too much of myself either. It’s not always easy though.

So am I the only one dumb enough to try to lead myself even when I am in no shape to lead?

Since 2012 I have blogged over at herothecoach.com and this post is a sample of what I’ve been writing over the years. I hope you enjoy this #ThrowbackThursday on the same theme as the 12th post on Doing gentle. This post was originally published here, and if you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future posts.

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