#tankespjärn

A revelatory conversation on procrastination

A revelatory conversation on procrastination

September 24, 2020
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The bottom line:
Being in conversation with wise, curious and openminded people,
help me shift inner beliefs if/when they no longer serve me.

The September Zoom-call in the tankespjärn-community gathered nine souls to talk/explore/discover around the topic of procrastination. Part of what we brought up can be found in the doodle, part of it can be found within the nine souls present, part of it is likely gone with the wind, never to be touched upon again. Perhaps…

How do you define procrastination?
What’s the meaning of this word, for you?
Does it have negative connotations, or not?

Those were some questions we started off with, and then, in the way these conversations go, we ended up all over the map, which, for me, increases the chances that there will be a new perspective, a reframe, a tankespjärn somewhere to present new doors for me. Doors I get to choose whether or not I want to open, and then –next choice– to step through or not. Doors to new aspects of viewing life, of living life, of relating to myself or others.

Some of those doors read as follows:

  • procrastination, when I pick up on it consciously, holds information. For me to use or ignore, up to me. But contained within the sensation of procrastination there’s plenty of information.
  • how procrastination to most of us holds negative connotations.
  • an open-ended question/query as to whether there is a cultural aspect to procrastination: is it “a negative” in other cultures?
  • confirmation of my realization that there are more books to read than I will be able to in my lifetime (but here’s a bonus piece of tankespjärn for you: Nassim Nicholas Taleb has, since his teens, spent between 30-60 hours a week (!) reading. That’s massive!). The books that made it onto the doodle were AntifragileRest and Ever-Present Origin. But I swear there were a couple more mentioned…

Being in conversation with wise, curious and openminded people like these, help me shift inner beliefs if/when they no longer serve me. Given, of course, that I am open to it myself. Nothing shifts in a person with a closed mind. Nothing!


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Invitation

August 31, 2020
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The monthly Zoom in the tankespjärn-community took place this morning (for me. There were participants who were up in the middle of the night to partake. That wowed me!), and counter to past monthly Zoom-calls, this one was topic-less. That is, I hadn’t thought of anything to initiate the conversation… and for the shortest time, there was nothing but silence, as I threw out the invitation to talk about… what?

And the response was just that: INVITATION

So we took the invitation to speak, reflect, ponder, think and sense into the concept of INVITATION, and as always… it makes me astonished both how fast an hour can go (proof of flow-state) and also how much can be experienced in (but) an hour.

A few of the questions popping into my head, as I reflect on all we managed to fit into the one hour:

– When to extend an invitation? (The fear of imposing on others, often makes me send them too late… or not at all.)

– Do I do it enough?
(Heck no, is my answer to that question, that’s for sure!)

– Can I write a general invitation that actually makes individuals feel seen and heard, rather than go ”Oh, this is probably not for me”?
(See. I just w i l l   n o t stop with the shotgun approach, even though I know –Know!– the sniper approach works so much better. Sigh.)

– If extending an invitation is an act of g e n e r o s i t y, what is not extending an invitation then?
(This caused a shift in me when I first realized it, thanks to one of the prompts in The Creative’s Workshop. Not enough of a shift to make me be as generous with invitations as I would like to be – because I see myself as a generous person, and I want to show up as one.)

– Once I get someone to take my hand, accepting the invitation, how do I nourish the relationship, making them want to stay in my community? (Do general postings on the i n s i d e of a community suffice? Or do I need to make people in the community feel, on an individual basis, seen and heard on a continuous basis? I guess the latter… Agree?)

And there was more. Much more. Like these, resonating with me:
– Being (personally) invited feels very generous. It makes me feel chosen. (Seeding generosity. Indeed!)
– By invitation only. (How will the tankespjärn-community evolve if –when?– people I do not know, start to show up? Interesting question to ponder!)

Not to mention, this great piece of tankespjärn:
The more something is n o t for everyone, the more it is for the people it is for.

I know this to be true, as I know, that I, tankespjärn nor the community is for everyone.
This session has also informed me that it’s up to me to extend an invitation to those I know it’s for.

And, as promised: Yes. I extended three personal invitations last night, right before heading off to bed, only to wake up to a new patron! Given this result, insights gained from the Zoom on INVITATION, and more time on my hand, I vow to send out personal invites using the drip by drip-strategy. A drip here, a drip there, over time turns into a heckofa large puddle! (Don’t you just love puddles?)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Missed opportunities. Or not?

August 30, 2020
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Here I go a g a i n!
Or rather… here I don’t go again.

I have the tankespjärn community monthly Zoom-call coming up tomorrow morning (my time, Central European Summer (!) Time/CEST. What that means for you TimeandDate can help figure out!), and I’ve been meaning to reach out, individually, to people whom I would love to join the community, thinking I wanna tell them Right before a monthly Zoom is a great time to jump in and try it out!

I still think that’s a great idea.
I just haven’t. Reached out, I mean.

And of course, rather than spending an hour reaching out to people, in person, with an open and heartfelt invitation… I do the s a m e thing that I’ve concluded, ages ago, is n o t the way to go. The shotgun approach is sooooo much easier though…. Ah, there comes my old friend, Resistance.

But it’s funny.
Because, when I do use the sniper approach, and reach out in person, regardless if I get a Yes or a No to my invitation, I always feel good.
Always. (Truly!)

So. What the heck is this really about?
What am I resisting? Why am I running into these missed opportunities, over and over again? Perhaps (likely?) I fear someone will not respond graciously, but rather lash out at me?

And, however irrational I know this fear to be, it might still be what keeps on getting in the way. Because that’s the thing about feelings. Rational, they most often are not.

I can look at this month’s Zoom as a missed opportunity. Or… I do have an hour or so before heading off to bed. So besides posting this (which, albeit not a personal invite, I hope still reads as an invite! I would love to have you check out the community!), I will reach out a hand to a few people I know and cherish. Ask. Invite. Extended without expectations (other than an actual response. I do love my clear Yes/No-responses, and might well push a bit to get one!).

Reporting back tomorrow, ok?
(That way I have accountability, in place as well. Clever, huh?!)

(And here I sit, ready to hit publish, when it hits me… what if I use this as accountability for the September Zoom as well? I mean, to get in touch and give personal invitations, with a bit more leeway? Even more clever!)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Open to the shifts

August 25, 2020
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This past week, I have not blogged daily. Haven’t written daily either, but even days of writing, have not always been days of blogging. This will likely prevail. I will blog, if blogging is in the cards. Or not, if (when) not. There’s a shift here, a desire, an inkling to play around with a somewhat different way of going forth. It’s not hard for me to blog daily. (Most times.) What’s harder is listening within, and blogging because there’s something to be said, something to be let out, rather than doing it because I’ve committed to doing it. (Makes sense?)

My deep-dive will not be published (now). But I will be writing (it). This is a commitment I’ve made, one which, truth be told, might even be hindered if I were to stick to a daily blogging scheme, having me go for the easy write rather than the deep-dive, which takes so much more from me. There’s effort. (In flow. Effort in flow. Trust me. It comes. But not without thorns, tumbles, tears.)

Then there’s the idea of doing yet another different type of writing. A deep-dive of sorts as well, but not within so much as without, into something specific. Wanting to do tankespjärn-pieces, that are more thorough. Researched. Thought through. (Yes. Mostly when I write, I simply sit down and write. But I’ve been longing for a different type of writing for a while. So how about it; Give me permission to do just that?)

As always (often? At least often!) when there’s a shift in one place/space, other shifts tag along.
One shift acting as a catalyst, causing other shifts to happen.

Being open to the shifts makes for an interesting life.
Explorative. Elucidating. Expansive.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Change is coming.

August 11, 2020
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Change is coming.
(It always is, isn’t it?)

The change that I know is coming, will greatly impact what I do, and how I make my living, for the next 1,5-2 years. Or rather, what I will no longer be doing for the next 1,5-2 years.

And again, I thank my lucky star, that I’ve worked so much with myself, with embracing what is, with finding new ways forward, that this news doesn’t wreak havoc within.

Yes. There is sadness, at not being allowed to finish what we’ve started. At not getting to face the hurdles that were sure to come, with the team we’ve built. At not getting to share my everyday working life with these people, whom I’ve come to care greatly for, value and honor, and have so much fun with. At not getting the ample opportunities for learning, that were sure to rain down upon me, on a weekly if not daily basis.

And. There is gratitude. At having come as far as we have. At getting a strong team to gel together in a most amazing way. At getting to know so many new people, people whom I definitely want to stay connected to. And not least, of having been able to amass some funds, which will take me through the upcoming year, without having to go desperate.

And, yes, there’s a bit of frustration as well. At stopping this at this time, wasting money already spent, for reasons I cannot fathom, or at the very least, disagree with.

But.
I can also see what opens up for me, with letting go of what was to have been, making room to let come whatever will come in its place. Being able to serve other existing customers more fully again. At putting more focus on building my tankespjärn-community and all of the ideas I have around that. Of picking up the work of other things that I put at a lower priority than this project. And the opportunity, once more, to give myself more me-time, which I’ve not done this past year.

I’ve learned so much, though…
I’ve seen my strengths in greater clarity. (And my flaws.)
I’ve been validated as being an ace trainer.
I know that I work best as a project manager when I do it in tandem with another when that other complements me.
I’ve got proof –again– that I do have a high capacity, and that there’s a limit to it, to what I can keep track of with regards to details.
And that I absolutely love working with professionals!

I will make good use of all the learnings, insights and experiences I’ve gotten from working this project, and I am, more than anything else, extremely glad that I’ve been a part of it!

And so, change is coming.
(It always is, isn’t it?)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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24 Assets (book 8 of 12)

August 10, 2020
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in Tip
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”Success is less about your individual talent and more to do with the environment that brings out the best in you.”

24 Assets: Create a Digital, Scalable, Valuable and Fun Business That Will Thrive in a Fast Changing World by Daniel Priestly is, just like Key Person of Interest, another one of his books that I’ve read, an easy read, filled with actionable suggestions. Perhaps, a bit too easy if you know what I mean?

But, like with all other types of self-help-books (regardless of the genre, be it personal or business development, home renovations or learning how to play the piano), unless you actually take the author up on his/her suggestions, and give it a shot, nothing will happen. And I gather that’s what most people do. Read, possibly get a few insights, and move on, without actually doing the work. Constantly searching, and never finding.

”There’s no avoiding the work or the practice if you want the results.”

Priestly has a challenge directed specifically for me as well:
”I want to encourage you to stop reading new books, going to new seminars, consuming a wide variety of videos and podcasts. Instead, pick a style and run deep with it–get yourself into the environment and implement.”

Not sure about that one. In practice, that is. In theory, I agree to a large extend, but not completely. Also, going deep (becoming a specialist) is not necessarily what works for everyone. The generalists out there (and heck, is this ever me!) are also necessary, as generalists and specialists contribute differently to the world, and we need that diversity. But in principle, sure, forever jumping from one book to another, from one podcast to another, from one seminar or YouTube-video or TED Talk or… might not always be the healthiest of behaviors. If done without reflection, without pausing and connecting dots, it might well be a form of fleeing, of avoiding what-ever-it-might-be.

But never looking outside your style, probably isn’t that healthy in the long run either. So, as with most things, a bit of both/and is likely the better strategy. Going at it in cycles is perhaps the most beneficial strategy at that, skimming the surface for a while before heading down into the deep. Come up to the surface, rest a bit, before starting all over again.

In the space I find myself, with tankespjärn being a concept I want (intend!) to dig down deep with, I will definitely look into these 24 assets, and decide what to develop, how to develop it, with whom and when. Exciting times ahead!


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2020, to read and blog monthly about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, books that I already own.

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Right/Wrong

August 8, 2020
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Right and Wrong. That was the starting point for the monthly Zoom in July, in the tankespjärn community on Patreon. An hour of gentle, exploring, curious conversation and connection, along the lines of the attached doodle.

What became apparent quite quickly was that we all had a strong sense of either ourselves or a parent, being the one who was always right. Makes me wonder about you, reading this, if you, a parent, or perhaps a grandparent or someone else, held this role in your life growing up? The one always in the right?

From the doodle, I am thrown back to that Friday morning (CET time), the way our conversation meandered about, the way they do, those generous, rich, nourishing conversations. Across the distinction between Judgment (preconceived notions) vs Discernment (being open to what is), and how that latter opens up not just within, but also without, making room for all (people, ideas, decisions). To the impactful question: Am I worthy to get what I want? Which made way for insights of not nurturing oneself as one could (can!), and how, when the notion of having to be right (while fearing being wrong) leaves room for uncertainty, how freeing that can be.

Right and Wrong.
Where does it take you?


These Zoom-conversations are a monthly feature of the tankespjärn-community–and I know I speak for every member when I say, that you are enthusiastically invited to join in!

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A nourishing conversation

June 23, 2020
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Attention energizes.
Intention transforms. 

These two sentences were the topic for the June monthly Zoom-call of the tankespjärn-community on Patreon inspired by these two posts:
Attention energizes. Intention transforms.
#blackouttuesday

Four people, 60 minutes (honestly, we ran for 70, my bad!).
Listening.
Learning.

A nourishing conversation, if ever, spanning the meaning of life to Covid-19, Black Lives Matter to the Law of Attraction (and the Law of Action), and the importance of knowing our attention as well as our intention when we decide what to focus on (based on the adage that we get more of what we focus on). 

This Zoom-call definitely whet my appetite and I already look forward to doing a Zoom in July, on… well. Who knows!

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Say w h a t?

June 21, 2020
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All of a sudden, I have at least four posts to write, where I know precisely what they will be about.

Say w h a t?

Yeah, I know.
For me, this is an oddity, an outlier. I normally sit down, and something shows up, which I then write about. Or, I start writing something, but it turns into something else, through a process I cannot describe, but one which my system knows full well, as it’s run often enough.

But now, I have a post on a book to write, one on generosity, one with a limerick gifted to me, and then one on today’s Zoom-call with my tankespjärn-community (which in itself is a post containing a multitude of spin-off-posts).

This means… if I sit down to write all these, I would be ahead of the game by at least four days. If I still stick to writing each day, that would get me halfway to the goal I’ve had for a while, of being approximately a week ahead of myself. Being ahead by a week or so has the added perk of me being able to re-visit written-but-not-yet-published pieces, tweaking and trimming them if need be.

But first… an hour of two of gardening!


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Going for the shotgun approach

June 18, 2020
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I could chastise myself for not being a better community-creator over on Patreon, but what good would that do me? Or my community members, for that matter?

No good what-so-ever.

So, when inspiration struck, I seized the moment, sending out an invite for a Zoom call on attention and intention come Sunday morning.

And, like the other times I’ve sent out an invite to join me on Zoom in the tankespjärn-community, regardless if someone pops up, or not, I will be there. I will bring my attention to my community because that is my intention.

(And yes.
Of course, I would rather you joined!
You, who are already a member of the community.
You, who have thought about it but not checked it out for yourself. Yet.
You, who’ve perhaps heard me mention it, but never really checked it out.
You, who’ve never heard about it.

All of you.
Welcome to join.
It would make me thrilled.
And happy. Elated!

And yes.
Here I go again.
Going for the shotgun approach once more, sending it out, into the void, the digital chasm, where – perhaps. Probably. Even likely? – no one actually feels invited. Personally invited. Which you are, I am just on the edge of my comfort zone here.

So.
I will.
Send out invitations.
Personally. Truly personally.

And I will come to you as well.
And you, you, and you.

Charlotte. Matthew. Alison and Lena. Janine, Verenice, Marcus. Andrea.
Jim and Gary. David and Dave. Angelica. Kristina. Pernilla and Elenor.
All of you.
Because you are all important to me, and I would love for you to join me!

One step at a time, even the smallest of steps can take me around the world. If only… I take them, step after step. That’s what I am committed to.)


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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