tension

Where should we begin?

Where should we begin?

November 19, 2017
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in Tip
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I stumble upon the podcast “Where should we begin? with Esther Perel” and all of a sudden, Esther is everywhere. I read about her here and there, friends refer to her, and she’s even a guest on “Terrible, thanks for asking”. Her book Mating in captivity is mentioned as a possible future read at the latest GIFTED book club meet up, and I can only surrender to this onslaught of synchronicity:Message from the universe

Yes – I hear you, Universe.
I am listening to her podcast.
I will pick up her book.

I get the message!

Listening to “Where should we begin? with Esther Perel” is quite the special pod-experience, unlike most other podcasts I listen to on a regular basis. Most intriguing is the way Esther surprises me, over and over again – she provides a different perspective; focussing on things I would not have thought of; she picks up on small, subtle nuances and… somehow… now and again, magic happens. There’s insight, there’s laughter, there’s a release of tension that is palpable even through the airwaves. Well worth a listen!

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, mixing them up with new podcast recommendations, such as this one.

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#blogg100 – Two to tango.

May 26, 2017
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”Battles require two parties.
One fighting alone soon tires.”

In the same way that it takes two to tango, right?!

But oh, can this be a tough nut to crack. Actually trying to live it is not the easiest, that’s for sure. I gather it’s not just the situation at hand that makes it hard to choose my battles wisely, it’s so much more.

History – what I’ve experienced before, in similar situations; what I thought then and how that made me feel.

Preconceived notions, about child-rearing and parenthood, about being a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a colleague, boss, friend.

The ingrained patterns I’ve picked up along the way, making for quick and easy shortcuts from stimuli to full on battle in the blink of an eyelid… before I’ve had a chance to collect my wits and ask myself: what serves me here? What’s the best me to bring to the situation? And if I cannot, what can I do to pause this before anyone gets hurt?

battlingBut once in a while, I manage to disengage – or not engage at all to begin with – from an ongoing fight, and yes, it’s quite amazing what happens when the tension is released. Because that’s what battling requires – two (or more) parties exerting tension; one pushing, the other shoving; one shouting, the other shouting louder; one throwing a punch, the other dodging, getting ready to throw a punch of his or her own. When I use my energy for something other than battling you;  no longer applying the tension that helps you define your position – both of us has a chance to get a new perspective upon the situation we’re in. And then… anything can happen!

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 87 of 100.
The book “The parents Tao Te Ching” by William Martin.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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