value

opening the spirit within us to the spirit of what is

opening the spirit within us to the spirit of what is

October 26, 2020
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The bottom line:
”…opening the spirit within us to the spirit of what is.”
Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening, for October 26.

Blank.
Woke up.
Boiled some water, while doing a Seven with pelvic focus. Jiggling around, back, forth, a spine-wiggle or two. Or three. Side to side, in eights and in circles. Wakes my body up. Slowly and gently, I move on lighter feet to the bedroom.
Drag the covers from the bed, lie down on my sheepskins, with my butt up against the bed, feet on top, as if sitting on the side of the bed, back against the floor.
Do my Wim Hof breathing exercise, three rounds, simultaneously doing the Walkfeeling starter-move, opening up, aligning, getting hips and legs and back all working together.
Get up off the floor, drag the covers back into bed, bunching the pillows behind my back, I sit down, with iPad in hand.
Getting ready to write, I space off into the distance, not knowing what to write.
Nothing really comes to me.
Drink my now-lukewarm water, picking up The Book of Awakening, to read the entry of the day.

Blank.
So I do what I have a habit of doing.
This.
Writing down where I am, what I’ve done to get here, and all of a sudden.
There I am. (Or here?)
The fingers start to fly across the keyboard, dropping words upon words on to the screen.

Is there value in this?
For me? Yes. I think so. No.
I know so. Letting it, whatever it is for the day, flow out of me, holds value.
It’s an acknowledgment of being here. Of being present to what is. Observing myself, my surroundings, my emotional and mental state, I at once land here. Grounded. And at the same time, it’s freeing. Opens a door for my mind to go walk-abouting, skip-skipping along like a little child, uninhabited by the shoulds and musts of the day, of life. Simply being. Showing up and noticing what shows up. Responding to it. (The blankness. There. Here. And me, dancing with whatever and whoever comes knocking on the door.)

For others? Yes. I think so.
And No. I wouldn’t presume to say I know so. I do not k n o w if this is or can be useful to anyone else. What I do know is that me sharing what goes on within me, within this quirky brain and body of mine, often seems to resonate. Not with everyone (never my desire. I am not for everyone.), not even with many (how do I define many?) but most definitely with some. A few. (And those few. I do write, ship, share, for you. For me, yes. But also for you. Because this is another dance that I actively choose to engage in. The dance between me and the unknown. The unknowns?)

I have a few different Pages documents available to me when I plonk down in bed, ready for my morning writing. I have my so-called Morning Pages (which have never been what Julia Cameron describes, not for me. Most of what I put in that document shows up on my blog. Not ’for my eyes only’, because writing ’for my eyes only’ doesn’t seem to work for me. It’s not where the magic lies. For me.), a practice I started in 2016 (opened my Morning Pages from 2016, scrolling through parts of it. Oh my. There’s stuff there, unfinished stuff, snippets of me, that I never did return to, as intended. All of my Morning Pages documents are filled with them. Always thinking I’ll get back to them, ”finishing” it all. Never have. Never will?). There’s The Depth(s), containing my deep dive into shame, created on August 22nd, 2020, and at the moment, most often my go-to-starting point for my morning writings. Then there’s a recent addition, a document containing writings for a blog I just started, another blog. (An anonymous one.)

Sometimes, I know just what document to open, because I know what wants to come out fits specifically into one or the other of these documents. Other times, something comes out onto one document that doesn’t belong there. Like this.

I opened The Depth(s) today, and upon putting finger to keyboard, when blank came to me and I kept on, I knew, this text needs to be moved to my Morning Pages of 2020 because this text isn’t a part of the deep dive.

And I like that.
I even love it.
How I am adhering to the practice of writing, but not to having to write something specific, if something specific doesn’t come to mind.
Being open for what is, what wants to happen, what comes out of me. Through me.

A recent addition to the writings of my Morning Pages is the bottom line, which I can never write beforehand. It comes when all is done, all is out, and I look through it, trying to find the essence of the post. This is a practice that challenges me, in more ways than one.

First, to remember to do it.
Second, to actually find the essence. Not always easy.
Third, to capture that essence, in a sentence or two. Not always easy either.

Aaaaah.
Deep inhale, exhale.

Picking up The Book of Awakening, reminded of the entry of the day, I find it. The essence of this post. And with that. I am done. With writing. For now.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Pay as much as you want?

April 28, 2020
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It’s funny how the (or at least my) brain works. An event or two flashed before my eyes last night, scrolling my social media feed, and they used the Pay as much as you want-, Donation based-, or phrased differently Pay as much as you think it’s worth-strategy.

Upon waking, my brain told me there are two, or possibly three, rationals for using this strategy:

  1. It’s a truly generous move, one where the organizer wants everyone to be able to come, to experience, to participate, regardless of their financial means.
  2. It’s a chicken move, evoked as a way to skirt one’s own responsibility. Not wanting to, being able to, feeling comfortable with (or whatever reason there might be subconsciously) actually putting a price on one’s services. Not knowing what it might be worth to others it is so easy to simply let the others decide. But what does that tell you about your own belief in your product/service? How much do you value you?
  3. A combination of the two where there is a genuine desire to be open for all, and yet getting away with it… One way to avoid this is to do Donation based with an added indication of what is going rate.

What do you see with these strategies, that I don’t?

Anyway.
That’s how my brain works.
How does your work?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Testimonials

April 14, 2020
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Testimonials.
What value do they hold? 

It’s much easier for me to listen to a personal account of something (whatever it might be. A new book, series, restaurant, savings scheme or…) by someone I know, and take to something. And if it’s not someone I know, I am slightly less inclined to try whatever out. 

But what goes as best practice these past years, is to gather testimonials. In writing, or on camera. Showcasing them on websites and offers, in commercials and marketing. And I’ve never really thought much of it, until I spoke to C about it. And he said, bluntly:
F*ck em. Couldn’t care less. Don’t want to know, don’t want to read, don’t want to hear. 

Which had me baffled. (And you’ll understand why I love hanging with him since he is so skilled at providing me with tankespjärn!)
Mostly because I had simply never really stopped to consider them. Testimonials. What good are they? Which ones provide value for me? Which ones don’t? And do I honestly receive the value I perceive from them, or am I simply affirming my own biases? 

The latter reminded me of a pod (in Swedish unfortunately) with the professor of marketing and consumer behavior at the Stockholm School of Economics Micael Dahlén. He spoke on biases and grades, TripAdvisor and book reviews and basically said the same thing C did, but with a bit more data to back him up. 

Now… I love receiving constructive feedback from others, on things I’ve done, on courses I’ve given, on workshops I’ve facilitated, and it feels great to have my ego stroked when the feedback if gushingly positive, but is there any use in showcasing that type of feedback? Or are they more of an ego-boost?

I’ve heard and read Seth Godin say, on a number of occasions, to not look at reviews or comments.
I’ve heard and read Brené Brown say, on a number of occasions, to not listen to anybody who isn’t themselves in the arena, to use her phrase. Not the negative expletives. understandably, but not the positive gushings either, because both will skew your view. Neither is of service to you or your craft.

So. What’s the value of a testimonial? Truly?


Tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
Join!

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Ever since I was born

March 25, 2020
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That cliffhanger.

Time to latch on: I want to do something other than what I’ve been doing for the past 5-7 years when it comes to my creative side, in how (and why?) I share my voice. I have my two blogs, the one in Swedish and this one in English, and even though I write more or less daily on either one of them, I want something to shift. I want to create a space for a community of sorts, a community of people willing to generously participate in receiving and giving #tankespjärn

There’s plenty of free material/content on my blogs, my pod, on Instagram etc. But I want to give more. Material which dives deeper and invites you to both give and receive #tankespjärn. But also to take part in deeper conversations, around Being and Becoming, on what #tankespjärn might mean for you in living your life, on learning to actively seek the event horizons of life. 

I have a Patreon-site in mind and have something of value to offer. I know there’s value to be had. And at the same time, that nagging little shaming voice within tells me to stop immediately, there’s no way anyone would subscribe to this, you haven’t thought it through enough, you need to wait, and prepare much more for it, and plan for how to do what when, and….

But hey. 

I have prepared for it. Ever since I was born, I have prepared for this. In 1999 when I was left by my then-husband while being 9 months pregnant, I started the journey for real, but way before that, I started preparing for this. 

I know my stuff.
I have a fair inkling of what I don’t know as well, which is why I want the community.
I want the opportunity to learn and grow, to evolve and expand, in relationship with others.

And if I don’t Do, there’s no way of knowing if it will work, is there? 

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Relevance and value?

March 14, 2019
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FB Live #134 🇬🇧🇱🇷 – Courage to dare?

FB Live #134 🇬🇧🇱🇷 – Courage to dare?

Publicerat av Helena Roth Torsdag 14 mars 2019

Filming myself while reflecting, actually transmitting it live as I speak – can that really have any value?
Is it relevant at all, and if so, for whom?

Questions that popped into my question, as I was in the midst of my Live. Perhaps because this was the first live in a long time where I actually just spoke, without really knowing what I would be speaking about. I had written the title of the live Courage to dare? but didn’t have any definitive thoughts on it. Until I pressed Start livevideo. Then I found myself following the energy of the moment. Courage to dare took me for a seven-minute journey, taking twists and turns that I had not envisioned at the get-go. 

Perhaps that in itself shows some courage? Or it might just be plain dumb. 🙂
I can not speak for anyone else, so I do not claim it to be neither relevant nor having value for you. But for me it does. This type of Live is sort of like my favorite type of writing. When I put my hands to the keyboard… and all of a sudden, there are words amassing on the digital page, revealing something to me, which I didn’t know was there. And I love that! So having found yet another medium which can give me the same type of sensation as writing does, has me thinking I’ll be continuing with my Lives.

But they are very me-centered, I admit. Just like my blogging.
I blog. (For me.)
I vlog. (For me.)

Perhaps that’s why I enjoy them so much?
Because these forms of expression are a way for me to create value for myself?

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I write. But not lyrics. Yet?

February 9, 2019
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I write.
Not as much as I read. But I write.
Since August 2012 in the form of blogging, before that (and also after) more writing at work… the number of routines, and test protocols and reports of various kinds I’ve written during the years, you’d not want to know, neither would I.

This will be my 2105th blog post (Swedish and English, the latter 20% of the total), and I intend to continue blogging as long as I find value in it. It serves me, and I enjoy it. So I write and will continue writing.

Recently, a glimmer of an opportunity to write lyrics have arisen, and I wonder… how to write lyrics? Lyrics first, and then someone will put music to it? Or music first, and I put lyrics to it? Can I? Should I?

Smile at me, shake my head a bit, and know full well that the answer is this:
Try it. Experiment. Play with it. See what happens, how it unfolds, if there’s something there – it will become obvious. If not, that will also become obvious. Why make it harder than it has to be?

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Being gentle to me – Reflection March ’16

April 1, 2016
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I forgot.march reflection

And when I remembered, all I did was state that fact: I forgot.

I forgot to do my monthly reflection on being gentle to myself.

And that was that.
Nothing more, nothing less.

You see, I cannot undo it. It’s forgotten and cannot be made to be unforgotten and published on the 25th. (Or… I could actually post-date this blog post of course, but what would be the point of that?!)

And you know what. Not beating myself up for forgetting is one way I do gentle these days.

And boy do I ever save energy on being gentle to myself this way. In the past, I would have spent this energy on beating myself over the head for not living up to my own standards. Today, I get to use this energy in any way I want to use it. And I promise, I very very seldom chose to spend it beating up on myself. Because spending it that way, simply doesn’t add any value to anyone. Not one iota.

So – why not spend my energy on things that add value to me and to my life?

Welcome to my new website, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. I will be reflecting on a monthly basis on what being gentle to myself means to me, in the moment, and this is one of those reflections. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future reflections.

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