walks

FOMO running wild!

FOMO running wild!

November 24, 2020
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Speeding up, internally, overcommitting, FOMO running wild, efficient in the way only I know how, zooming from meeting to meeting indeed, on Zoom), not even giving myself the pleasure of a sunshine-filled walk midday.

Breathe, Helena, breathe.
And let go.
Release your foot from the gas pedal, there’s enough energy in the system to get quite far without you putting any more gas into it. Get your priorities in order, ticking ToDo’s off one by one (the only way to do them, one by one, bird by bird), and… oh. Yes. Saying No does not mean you will not be considered next time, does not mean you aren’t a valued participant of the community, does not mean any of the stuff the internal chattering ticker tape is trying to get you to believe.

Make sure you get the walks. The bike rides. The hour of puttering about in the garden, raking some leaves into a pile over here, cleaning some garden tools over there, checking the status of the horse manure/cow dung/saw dust-barrel, filled with what will be goodies for the soil come spring.

Make sure you get the fullness of the morning ritual. The movement, the Wim Hof breathing, the glass of by-now-luke-warm water, the writing (Oh, the writing! Treasure it, as it treasures you!), reading the daily entry in The Book of Awakening, and the cold shower. All of it vital, but more than that, all of it there for you. Gifts. All of them. Gifts that help you show up the way you want to show up in the world. Grounded. Filled with energy. Abel and capable. With a mischievous touch of tankespjärn to spice things up when needed.

But no.
These aren’t must’s.
They are want’s.
I want to get the walks, the bike ride, the gardening and the morning ritual. Add to that the reading, the community-building, the Buddhas-recordings, the therapy, the cooking for me and my children and sitting down to a meal together.

These are want’s that are important to me because with these I honor myself.
I honor who I am, who I have been, and who I will be.
Always and already.


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.
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Follow up – December 2019 – As I am.

January 7, 2020
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

December. The time of Advent, Christmas, New Year’s. A month filled with all sorts of undertakings, a new job assignment taking off properly in conjunction with other assignments to put to rest over the holidays.

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace Meditate daily: ✅ 159 days with Wim Hof deep breathing.
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: Not even once.
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: Finishing off strong with 8 days of colkd bathing in a row, and with a total of 13 cold baths (or showers) in December.
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): No dancing in December, but have been accepted to the D-class beginning in February.
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked 55 and biked barely 400 kilometers. 77 days with “at least 10 kilometers in my body” at that!

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: When December came aknocking on my door, I had ten books left to read, which honestly gave me a bit of a fright… but, I made it, amongst other things thanks to finding a few classics as audiobooks on Spotidy to listen to. 76 books under my belt in the goodreadschallenge for 2019. I also managed to finish my twelweth Swedish book Du sköna nya värld (book 12 of 12 in Swedish) as well as the remaining two English ones Homo Deus (book 11 of 12) and Cosmos and Psyche: Intimations of a New World View (book 12 of 12).
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Have played every day, for a total of 67 days in a row.
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: Yes! The book is finished, and I even brought it on my New Year’s retreat in the woods outside Motala.
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: In December I held two digital sabbats, on 13-14th and 24-25th.

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: These are the dates: 13-14 September, 28-28 October, 11-12 November, 9-10 December. Here I am, in the forest outside Motala, not really writing anything more than the usual ”fare the well” and ”welcome” blog posts for the year that has passed and the year that is commencing. But on the other hand I am writing them. And on a spiritual level, it’s most definitely a retreat well worth its weight in gold, thanks to my wonderful friends C and D.
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it:
  • blog daily: YES! I was in a dismay after November, but on the first of Advent, I came up with the idea to do an English Advent Calendar here, with images and stories from my trip to Kenya, and since then I just kept going, so I’ve actually blogged every day in December.
  • start to pod: I recommend that you check out the pod Fria Barn (in Swedish), and wait until January for the other pod I am a part of. When it comes to Doing gentle with an edge I will simply have to get back on track in 2020.
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: There is a started ebook on my computer, but nothing else has happened.

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January, March, August, October, November and in December! Whoop! Did not in February, April, May, June, July or September.
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: Remains to be done for December, but I will. 

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: A month with the Advent calendar here that’s been very rewarding for me, a way to revisit my summer trip to Kenya. My youngest surprised me with making home made ravioli, while the oldes has been a sheer joy to have at home (imagine, a kid who helps around the house without any nudges. If ever there’s proof for a kid being ready to leave the nest, that’s it!). Wonderful nature experiences, with cold baths as well as ocean- and forest walks, the Stina Wollter-exhibition in Borstahusen with Heléne, and a lovely Christmas holiday. And to top it all off, a retreat in the woods outside Motala with C and D. What a lovely month!

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Being gentle to me – Reflection July ’17

July 31, 2017
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Being gentle to me, this past month, as been a lot about going with the flow.

It’s summertime.
There’s less assignments from clients.
Kids are off from school.

Paper borderSo I am doing that which I feel like doing, and not doing the rest.
Going on short excursions, overnight or just for the day.

Reading books I want to read – so I am. Loads of them! Going for walks I want to take – so I do. Same with the occasional run.

Haven’t felt like blogging this past week – so I haven’t. Before that, I did, daily.

Borrowed a steamer and got rid of the (very ugly) paper border in the dining room, that we just never got around to removing before. That was satisfyingly hard work, as was the hedge trimming (more like a massacre really) I did together with the neighbors.

Brought the guitar with me to my mom’s place, but have only played once so far. Will simply add dates at the end of my original 60 day-streak to make up for not playing daily.

Not putting any guilt trips on me, for that which I’m avoiding. I just am. Same goes with that which I am doing. I just am.

Welcome to my writings, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. I reflect on a monthly basis on what that means to me, in the moment, and this is one of those reflections. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future reflections.

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