words

A gift? Or a present?

A gift? Or a present?

November 28, 2018
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53. What do you want to gift to the world? #teachingoftheday on gifting, and on creating things that matter to you. I think we need to rethink our concept of gifts, just as we need to adjust our expectations of the receivers of gifts.

Publicerat av Caspian Almerud Onsdag 28 november 2018

I listen to Caspian in #teachingoftheday number 53: What do you want to gift to the world?

#teachingoftheday on gifting, and on creating things that matter to you. I think we need to rethink our concept of gifts, just as we need to adjust our expectations of the receivers of gifts.

I listen. And agree. Perhaps not so surprising, as I gifted him (twice!) It’s you turn by Seth Godin, (a book I in turn have been gifted by Seth himself!) that gave him these thoughts. I am onboard, completely, having thought a lot about that which I gift to the world.

But. When Caspian differentiates between gifts and presents (from 5:20 onwards), my mind started to spin.

He says Of course there is a difference between gifts and presents, I am aware of that.

And immediately my mind went Really? Is there? Isn’t a gift a present? Isn’t a present a gift? Is there an obvious difference between these two words? 

This fascinates me; how all of a sudden my mind opened to seeing a connection (or perhaps a dissonance?) that I’ve never picked up on before. The words gift and present are words I’ve used hundreds or thousands of times. And I have never ever put them next to each other, comparing them, in a sense I’ve never really looked at them. It’s as if I right now, am tasting these two words for the very first time.

 

 

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The Tibetan Art of Positive Thinking (book 23 of 26)

November 18, 2018
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in Tip
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Coming closer to the end of my reading challenge of 2018, the part which has me reading 26 books in Swedish and 26 in English, books I already had in my possession at the start of the year. The Tibetan Art of Positive Thinking by Christopher Hansard, is a book I got a year or two ago, on the recommendation of D.

“From the beating of our hearts at birth to our final breath in death, a continual stram of thought flows through us, making us, forming all our desires and directing unconscious actions, yet always guiding us towards greater self-knowledge. The power of thought is immense.”

It is. And the difference in how living life as me, before and after I realized exactly how powerful thought is… Huge.

“‘You are what you think.’ […] ‘Thoughts directs all things’, he said. ‘People pride themselves on how they think, but really it is thought that moves through people. Our thoughts create our lives, they make us sick, happy or successful. Our thoughts can pollute our planet through the actions we take. Thoughts on their own will gather like clouds in the sky, good thoughts coming together with other good thoughts and unskilful thoughts attracting other unskilful thoughts.'”

Or said in another way: we get more of that which we focus on. Another one of those clichés that I see people sharing, without fully realizing what it actually means. It means what it says. I do get more of that which I focus on. It’s simple physics. Like attracts like.

“Emotions are the teachers of human experience and we must always give thanks for them. They must not be denied but understood, loved and transformed.”

Allowing myself to feel what I feel, while at the same time, not necessarily take it so bloody seriously, or, for that matter, react upon every emotion that pops up within. Asking myself, how does this serve me, giving me that tiniest of distances towards myself, which can stop me from reacting, and instead having me choose my action.

Those are just a few of all the passages I’ve marked up until page 22. With another 250 pages to go, you do the math. So pick up a copy of this book, and find out for yourself what the ancient Tibetans (the Bön tradition, which began 17 000 years ago!) discovered about the world, our place in it and how everything connects.

“Complaining is damaging because words are the houses in which our thoughts live. They way you speak will indicate the way you think.”

That’s one reason why I have consciously chosen to be very restrictive with certain words. Such as right/wrong, good/bad, must/should/would/ought to. To name a few.

“If we become softer and slow our rush [in our search for happiness and meaning], the fear of desperation will fall away and we can then hear the tender voice of pure thought energy wishing only to guide us.
Make things simple in your life. Let your life become simple in its actions, communicate simply and let your love be simple, for then it will be profound.”

This reminds me of the phrase “Slowing down to the speed of life“, which actually is a book title, of a book I have yet to read. I will though, one of these days…


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2018, to read and blog about 26 Swedish and 26 English books, one book every week, books that I already own. 

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Listen for the unknown #6

December 3, 2017
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in Tip
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Hope you heard something new to you in #5. Otherwise, here’s your final chance, with the sixth and final of these podcast recommendations.

I’m leaving off with one of my absolute favorite RSA Event pods that I’ve listened to a multitude of times. Scilla Elworthy was unknown to me first time I stumbled upon this talk, but she’s been nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Price so obviously she’s made her mark in the world. Listen to her making a case for Pioneering the possible.

pioneering the possible

What did you hear that you’ve never heard before?

In 2015 I ran a series on herothecoach.com with Sunday postings of podcasts to my liking. In 2017 I will be re-posting some of those blog posts, or posts with other podcast recommendations – and this is one of them, originally posted here – , mixing them up with new podcast recommendations. 

And honestly – I have a feeling that I shortchanged Scilla Elworthys RSA Event-pod when I first put this post out into the world (as you can see, a series of 6 podcast-tips between Christmas and New Years in 2014, all of them memorable, and still well worth a listen to!), so unlike the other times I’ve re-blogged old podcast recommendations, here’s an add-on:

Scilla’s looks remind me of my long-since dead maternal grand-mother, whom I called Momo. I loved my Momo dearly, and perhaps that’s one reason why I feel so drawn to her, when I listen to her talk?

On the other hand, perhaps it has nothing at all to do with that, and everything to do with the fact that Scilla addresses important issues – which it turns out she’s been doing her whole life – and does so with a sense of hope, encouragement, energy. There’s gusto in this lady, drive and enthusiasm, and a lot of it stem from the people she meets. All of them, Scilla as well as the change makers she refers to, are in the business of pioneering the possible. Once you listen you’ll notice that a lot of these “possibilities” are what most of us would immediately write of as completely impossible activities/goals/missions. But alas, setting out to pioneer the possible sure has a totally different ring to it than trying to combat the impossible.

Our words matter – on small and large scale alike –  and Scilla uses hers wisely.

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#blogg100 – Beyond the simple and quiet words.

June 2, 2017
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“[…] do not think that the man who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words which sometimes do you good. His life has much hardship and sadness and lags far behind you. If it were otherwise, he could never have found those words.”

multi-dimensionalI was reminded of these words by Rilke – penned in a letter to the young poet, corresponding with Rilke back and forth; letters which have been turned into the book Letters to a young poet, a book which I’ve read a couple of times, and will definitely revisit again, when the time is right – during a CoachWalk with a client. The blissed-out-and-always-happy-camper-personas that sometimes is what comes across, in interaction with someone in one form or another, I perceive as shallow and one-dimensional. And as I honestly don’t think anyone actually can be one-dimensional, I conclude that they probably aren’t, even though it seems to me, they work hard at making it appear as if they are.

Anyway. People are not one-dimensional, we are multi-dimensional, and as such, the entire spectrum of emotions is present, at one time or another. For me, it’s a deliberate choice to try to share not just a few ”happy and blissed out”-aspects of my emotional spectrum, but to share a broader range of what I face, as a soul having a human experience here on Earth. Come hell or high water, I try to let myself feel it all. Sometimes that can be very painful. And sometimes it’s bliss!

People that I, in turn, listen to, speaking words that sometimes does me good – are multi-dimensional as well. Light and shadow – co-existing and in the contrast of one against the other, I gain a sense of perspective and – sometimes – a touch of wisdom, coming to me in the form of insights. I try to listen to the words that are being said, because I do think words matter, but at the same time, I know that what’s behind the words matter even more. Sydney Banks takes it even one step further when he states that:

“Words are merely a form. Listen not to words, but to that which words attempt to convey.”

That’s what I believe was the difference that made a difference in the life of the young poet – he noticed something in the direction of the words that Rilke wrote, something that gave him the strength to carry on writing.

For me to be able to listen to that which the words are attempting to convey, I have to be open to what happens within me, while listening. Sometimes easy, sometimes hard; but as I persist, in time, it does get less and less hard I’ve found. It’s as if I’m fine-tuning my ability to listen beyond the words, picking up on smaller and smaller nuances, getting to know myself on a deeper level. Beyond the simple and quiet words.

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 94 of 100.
A mash-up of the book “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke and “The missing link” by Sydney Banks.
English posts here, Swedish at
herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – Beyond the word.

May 17, 2017
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Missing link“No one can give away wisdom. A teacher can only lead you to it via words, hoping you will have the courage to look within yourself and find it inside your own consciousness…

Beyond the word.”

Standing in front of a group, of fifty, sixty, seventy people, having a basic outline of what to say, what to point at, all the while knowing it’s precisely this that is needed for it to make any significant impact: for them to have the courage (or perhaps curiosity? What if we talk about it in terms of requiring curiosity rather than courage? Might it not be easier to step an inch into the unknown then? Curious invokes a less dangerous sensation within than Courage does, at least in me. What about you?) to look within. To consider what they hear, see, experience, to let it sit. Not outright rejecting what is said off hand, not necessarily swallowing it hook, line and sinker either. But truly, letting it sit within – tasting, feeling, sensing. Being open enough to try it out, looking at – and acting in! – the world from a different angle, gifting yourself a new perspective.

Going beyond the words of what I say, being quiet enough to hear what is voiced within. Perhaps, there you will find something new? Something – beyond the word – which makes your universe expand?

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 78 of 100.
The book “The missing link” by Sydney Banks.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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#blogg100 – The beginnings of my song.

March 24, 2017
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I’ve just gotten started on the book Born to run by Bruce Springsteen, but I am already smitten. The way he writes, how he crafts words into sentences, carving them to paint pictures within my mind, the tonality and rhythm of the phrases making me rejoice, and sometimes even be completely awestruck.

Bruce Springsteen is a skilled word crafter, creating worlds within me. I should not be surprised, really. From the lyrics of his songs, I know this. But still – with letters turning into words, making up sentences, forming phrases and paragraphs, sometimes direct and extremely explicit, sometimes elusive and coy, leaving me to weave my own image of what is roughly sketched on the page – I am smitten.

“This is the world where I found the beginnings of my song.”

What an alluring sentence. Inviting me to think back, to reflect on the beginnings of my song. And is it a song? For me? For Bruce, oh yeah. Without a doubt. But for me? Maybe. Maybe not. Is it perhaps more of a story for me, a novel? I write. Now. And I am so happy I am. It’s one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself, taking on the challenge of blogging daily for one hundred days, which now is a routine of mine that has me hooked. It is so thrilling. I truly enjoy it.

beginnings of my songAs I write this, sitting in bed, after a long day at a customer writing their quality manual (not exactly thrilling writing in the same way, I admit. But still – quite the challenge, and filled with opportunity for learning!), a smile slowly spreads across my face. My eyes twinkle and I sit here giggling, cherishing the experience of letting come. Not knowing what’s next – what my fingers will get up to, dancing on the small keyboard of my mini IPad, and then – all of a sudden, there it is. A sentence, a paragraph, a blog post, two or perhaps, even three. The beginnings of my song?

#Blogg100 challenge in 2017 – post number 24 of 100.
The book “Born to run” by Bruce Springsteen.
English posts here, Swedish at herothecoach.com.

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Being gentle to me – Reflection October ’16

October 31, 2016
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An odd month.
A month of upheaval, in som many forms, in so many lives, not just mine.

I’ve been tired of words.
I haven’t written as much for myself, as I did in previous months.
I’ve deliberately avoided listening to podcasts, in instances where I would have just a month ago.
Tired of the words. Cannot take another word, another wisdom, another great idea triggering me to think new thoughts.

I’ve been tired. And sad. Sad
(And yes. Internally, sometimes, fighting against that which is. Now. Not wanting it. Wanting something else. And hence, pain!)

Instead of podcasts, I’ve listened a lot to Peaceful Piano.
Soothing tones caressing my weary soul.
Like a lullaby, rocking me softly, granting me peace and quiet, gently drying the tears off my cheeks.

And throughout it all, I’ve let it be. All of it.
Witnessed the changes within, and without.
Letting it all come, when and how it showed up.

Being gentle to me, is one of the most important things I can do, any given day. These days, especially so, as I’ve been in such need for it. And being gentle to myself is not done in one instant during a day. It’s more of a base tone, always there in the background, coloring my world with tenderness and care.

How grateful I am that I have practiced the art of being gentle for a few years now!

Welcome to my humble abode, where the underlying tone centers around being gentle to oneself. I will be reflecting on a monthly basis on what that means to me, in the moment, and this is one of those reflections. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please subscribe to updates so you won’t miss out on future reflections.

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