Writings

Hustling!

Hustling!

June 20, 2019
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Plenty of time… until all of a sudden, I don’t have enough. Story of my life…

And it’s funny – because there seems to be a gene controlling this human feature (flaw?) that skips a generation. Or at least skipped a generation when I am concerned. My father, oh my, he gets something to do, and he does it. He doesn’t bother to wait until there’s a deadline, he simply gets it done. Whereas me and my brother, give us a deadline, and we’re chill up until the very last minute when all of a sudden we scramble and hustle to get whatever-it-is done and handed in on time… or at least try to, occasionally failing miserably. Is it the instant gratification monkey rearing his ugly head?

Anyway. Off I go, hustling for half an hour, before I have to head off!

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Surround yourself with people who…

June 18, 2019
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My life. And your life. We create them, our lives. We create them all by ourselves. (But not alone!) Make sure you make a life as rich and beautiful as this absolutely adorable summer bouquet my sweetest friend A arranged for me. A bouquet with a variety of flowers, colors, fragrances, shapes – as abundant and beautiful as life can (should!) be.

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Given freely. Received deeply.

June 16, 2019
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That’s the best type of feedback (be it a compliment, appreciation, praise…). The one that is given freely and received deeply. Those words – given freely, received deeply – are words my word savvy and wise friend Mayke wrote in response to something I shared with her and the other Campfire Sisters.

My last blog post (in Swedish) was about seeing and being. How I have to be open in order to be a part of both these aspects, as I can neither be seen nor see, otherwise. How seeing, and being seen, is such an integral part of being human, and what a gift it is, when we add to the seeing/being seen part some type of feedback on what we see.

The post intertwined perfectly with Mayke’s words which made me take special notice.
Synchronicity. There’s something here for me to dive deeper into. To explore. Taste. Play with.

And as I talked to a friend I got another piece of the puzzle. I told her how I am greatly helped to see myself when I share with others. Share what is. Within and without. Feelings. Experiences. Fears and longings. Life. All of it. It helps, as what I get in return (the feedback. Of being seen, in what I am, where I am, how I am.) gives me perspective. Opens new vistas, which in turn might (or not) grant me insights. So I share a lot. Might it be a type of insurance? Ensuring I get seen? (By myself, as well as others.) Same reason why I blog the way I do? 

Follow aegirdottr on Instagram.

Anyway.
I got a gift today. Or rather, I got two.

The actual gift was a wonderful piece of art. The added bonus was the feedback. Given freely. And oh so deeply received. Warms the soul. Makes my eyes well up in tears, my heart overfilled with gratitude and my face light up with a huge smile.

Given freely. Spontaneously. From the heart.
Received deeply. Wholeheartedly. Straight into the heart.

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Flying off into the sunset

June 11, 2019
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How easy it is to fly off into the sunset… imagining all sorts of things, painting a picture of this, that, or the other thing. Working it all out, planning a future in details, when really, all there is. Is now. Here. Nothing else. Simply Here. And Now.

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Follow up – May 2019 – As I am.

June 10, 2019
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I intend to go through my intentions for the year at the end of each month. This gives me a monthly reminder of my intentions as well as ample space for reflection and possible adjustment.

May went pass quick as a space rocket, and what a gloriously wonderful, fantastic and expansive month it’s been at that!

2019. The year when I will…

* have my bodily wellbeing in focus by:

  • continuing with my daily Seven accompanied by burpees: ✅
  • Headspace daily: ✅
  • run a minimum of  75 runs –> run-when-I-feel-like-it-intention: No running in May and hence, I am tweaking this intention. My big toe joint is messing up, I do believe it’s gotten a bit too much Lindy Hop dancing!
  • take cold (outdoors) baths as often as I can – and add to this by taking cold showers: 7 cold baths in May, and sadly I have to report that the water temperature is increasing day by day so… no more cold (!) baths to be had until the fall. I have put my personal limit at 14 degrees, above that and it’s not a cold bath any more.
  • dance Lindy hop as often as I can (taking a class during the spring, and then there’s the social dancing as well!): Have attended a few social dances after the class ended. Planning to keep it up during summer!
  • continuing to ride my bike and walk as much as possible: walked 60 and biked just short of 300 kilometers.

* have my mental and spiritual wellbeing in focus by:

  • reading at least 75 books, of which 12 in Swedish and 12 in English already have been chosen. These 12 + 12 I will be blogging about: Read 24/75 böcker. Blogged about The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (book 5 of 12 in English) and the Swedish counterpart is Tjärdalen.
  • learn at least five songs by heart including lyrics on the guitar, which will be made possible by my aim at ten minutes of guitar playing on a daily basis: Oh my… 8 times in May. That’s all the love I’ve given the guitar this month. I will do better!
  • I will let the wonderful book The book of Awakening by Mark Nepo be my daily companion: ✅
  • hold digital 24-hour sabbats at least twice a month: 4-5 and 18-19 May I took well-deserved digital sabbats. If you’ve yet to try it out, do, if only for the joy of returning to the digital once the sabbat is over! In June I aim for the same on 6-7, 15-16 and then I’ll have to see what happens in Kenya!

* have creation in focus by:

  • booking at least four two-day writing retreats during the year: pondering a few ideas about writing retreats, including the possibility of running a digital retreat? My ideas from January remain.
  • keeping up with daily Facebook Lives for as long as there’s energy in doing it: ✅
  • blog daily: ✅
  • start to pod: Haven’t booked any new recording sessions so the existing episodes of Doing Gentle with an Edge are available in a podplayer close to you, but no new ones are in the pipe line just yet.
  • release (at least) 4 e-books in 2019: thoughts are swirling, nothing concretized as of yet.

* have financial husbandry in focus by:

  • sowing, sowing and sowing a little bit more; on a weekly basis intentionally work on my various income streams: ✅I am really levelling up on this aspect!
  • keep tabs on my set invoicing goal on a monthly basis: ✅I reached my set goals in January and March, not in February, April and May.
  • keep an accounts book on private income and expenses: Worked better in May, but not optimal, so I will keep “Need to find a better routine to avoid the trap of filling my account-book way after the fact….” from last month.

And finally – on all levels – experiment and play, experience pleasure and exploring and challenging myself, all the while being gentle to myself: May has been such a rish month I cannot visualise it with one photo only, so I give you two! The pilot round of 60 timmars tankespjärn took place May 8-10 and both before, during and after #tankespjärn has been my given focus! And what an experience, what a treat! My garden is thriving and I am getting helo from knowledgeable and skilled friends with green fingers – what a difference that makes! I was inspired by Michel and Mariella Issa, I have been brain storming with Janine who started the Skåne Networking Community on FB which took of like lightning! I have sung to my hearts content (Gaaaalen!), enjoyed my cold baths (I even went skinny dipping at the choir summer festivities!) and been to TEDxSlottsparken-rehearsal (I will be the moderator, I look forward to it immensely! It takes place on June 14th 2019, and will be live streamed, so keep your eyes open!), been to a funeral, seen Guds olydiga revben after a book by Gunilla Thorgren (God’s disobedient rib is the translated title) – and was completely wow:ed! Add to that the fun me and Monika has at the Party-a-long with Dirty Dancing at Spegeln. And then on top, I’ve worked my ass off, spent a full day in teh company of the Swedish Medicinal Agency at a client, have been cleaning my house over and over again, took photo’s and put up an add on AirBnB, posted adds for a bunch of stuff on Shpock and have been appointed Special Legal Guardian (Särskilt Förordnad Vårdnadshavare) to my very first unaccompanied minor (Gode Barn). Feels grand!

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Time enough.

June 8, 2019
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Going home. Happy I chose the slow route. A full eight hours to let the experiences of the past two days settle within, integrate, solidify. 

Time enough for soul and body to catch up with each other. 

Time enough for mind and heart to digest the richness of these past few days. 

Time enough for me to revel in remembrance, letting my heart overflow with the joy and gratitude that comes with living life at its fullest. 

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The time in between the seconds

May 29, 2019
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The spaces in-between.
I have grown to love them.
To understand, value, cherish and seek them.
Rejoicing in them, when able to. Which I am not all the time. Far from it.
But as with most things… the more I am with the spaces in-between, the better I am at rejoicing in them, revelling in them, revering them.

Rectify. 
A series I just started watching.
Daniel is asked what was real to him during his years in prison. He replies:

The time in between the seconds

The in-betweens.
There they are.

Synchronicity in the making.
I’ve had a day filled with in-betweens. At a customer, all day, participating in a quality audit. Responding to questions when needed, keeping notes of what was being done and said. And in-betweens. Loads of them. Just sitting there, waiting (resting in the tranquility of it!) for the inspectors to finish reading, to come with the next question or request.

On the bus home, I watched episode two. And then… towards the end; this. A reminder!
A reminder for me, to make room for the in-betweens. Those moments of doing nothing. Waiting for the tea kettle to boil. For the final spin cycle on the washing machine to come to an end. For the red light to turn to green when out and about on my bike. For the sun to settle.

Not having to fill every moment with action – checking email, social media feeds, messages, or any number of other activities that have come to take the place, the space, of the in-betweens – but rather… simply… being? Breathing? Like balm to the soul.

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The Wind-up Bird Chronicle (book 5 of 12)

May 26, 2019
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in Tip
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Haruki Murakami. 
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle.

Mesmerising, surreal, this really is the work of a true original the blurb from The Times reads on the cover. And in all honesty, I don’t know that I have much more to add to that. Mesmerising. Yes. Surreal. Extremely! The work of a true original. Heck yes. It’s another one of these reading experiences where I cannot wrap my head around what would make someone be able to write like this, to actually put what has been put on paper, down on paper.

Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even get them going. But curiosity evaporates. Guts have to go for the long haul. Curiosity’s like an amusing friend you can’t really trust. It turns you on and then it leaves you to make it on your own – with whatever guts you can muster. 

Did I like it?
Yes. And no.

I mean… Yes. This is such an awesome book. But it is a book that demands my attention as a reader. My full attention at that. So, quick reader that I am, these 600 pages or so took me more or less 6 weeks to finish (which for me is a long time. Remember, last year I read 101 books, this year I am aiming at 75. If all books I wanted to read demanded as much from me, I would fail miserably in reaching my target.). A dozen pages or so at a time. Not much more. Sometimes less. (And yes, of course, I’ve been reading a few other books during this period, as per my usual habit. I am a parallel-reader, not a serial one. But regardless!)

And in a sense… this sentence points to my ambivalence as a reader:
The majority of people dismiss those things that lie beyond the bounds of their own understanding as absurd and not worth thinking about. 

This book is, at times, so far beyond the bounds of my understanding, it would be easy for me to dismiss it as absurd. Or plain strange. Not worth the effort. But it is! Truly. Like the back cover blurb from Independent of Sunday reads: How does Murakami manage to make poetry while writing of contemporary life and emotions? I am weak-kneed with admiration.

So am I. Murakami has a brain that I’d love to be able to “look inside”, to see how the connections are made, what type of leaps of the imagination that are necessary to spin this story… it’s so far from the way my brain works (or so it seems). But then again, that might just be another of the things I’ve come to know about myself, that isn’t anything but a belief, after all:
To know one’s own state is not a simple matter. One cannot look directly at one’s own face with one’s own eyes, for example. One has no choice but to look at one’s reflection in the mirror. Through experience, we come to believe that the image is correct, but it is just a belief. 


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2019, to read and blog about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, one every other week, books that I already own.

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Working together!

May 25, 2019
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As I waited for two friends to come over and help me with the garden, I wandered out in it… only to stumble upon the first giant poppy in bloom.

Oh!

Lavish.

Lush.

Lovely!

Lucky me; There are at least another 30 buds or so just raring to go!

In a few hours time, we worked the garden, sowing sugar peas, parsley, dill and kale, moving a few Jerusalem artichokes, watered and weeded, and started to get the berry patch in order, which it truly needs, not having seen a lot of love these past few years.

Three people, three hours.
What a difference it makes, from giving it a halfhearted hour or two myself, flitting from one spot in dire need to the next, without actually making a lot of progress, to working together like this! And better still, they will be coming back to help me. <3 

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I choose to!

May 24, 2019
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Attended a funeral.
A life, coming to an end.
A long life, lived.

Solemn feeling.
Filled with gratitude for living, for loving, for laughing, for learning.
Reminisce about loved ones who’ve gone before.

Tears fall, slowly, effortlessly.
Not sad tears. Loving tears. Heartfelt tears.
For lives, and choices.
The ones that serve. The ones that don’t.
How it all constitutes a life. A life lived.
Because they are, all of them, those lives.
Lived. One way or another.

And then… sooner or later, they come to an end.
Mine will too.
But not today. Not now.
Every day of life is a day of living.
Loving. Laughing. Learning.
If I choose to make it thus…

I choose to!

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