Writings

I choose to!

I choose to!

May 24, 2019
/ / /

Attended a funeral.
A life, coming to an end.
A long life, lived.

Solemn feeling.
Filled with gratitude for living, for loving, for laughing, for learning.
Reminisce about loved ones who’ve gone before.

Tears fall, slowly, effortlessly.
Not sad tears. Loving tears. Heartfelt tears.
For lives, and choices.
The ones that serve. The ones that don’t.
How it all constitutes a life. A life lived.
Because they are, all of them, those lives.
Lived. One way or another.

And then… sooner or later, they come to an end.
Mine will too.
But not today. Not now.
Every day of life is a day of living.
Loving. Laughing. Learning.
If I choose to make it thus…

I choose to!

Read More

Three questions

May 22, 2019
/ / /

Finished another coaching conversation with coach Dave. A conversation much like any conversation really.
Flowing this way, then that way. Slowing down, sometimes stopping altogether, only to pick up speed, and rush forth!
Like a meandering river, conversations ebb and flow. Much like life, honestly.

Is that what coaching can be?
Yeah. Why not! Whatever serves in the moment, that’s what coaching can be.

Today, what served me the most was a meandering conversation, that has me popping ideas like crazy, on blog posts, sales pitches, other conversations to have and on and on…

Now, to ensure I don’t go off the deep end, Dave brought me back to the importance of three very basic questions. Questions I hereby vow to stick with for the next month (because boy… is it ever easy to skip these and start to build a house without having gotten the foundation well in place first!).

I will sit with them. Reflect upon them. Dig into them.
Write. Speak. Share. Listen. Learn. And… act!

The latter aspect might be one of the more important ones, given where I am at, and what I want to accomplish. So I will dig deep and act upon my findings. I will try it out, because I cannot figure this one out on my own, in conversation only with myself (and coach Dave). I have to (and want to!) put this to the test, something not done in silence, not done alone in my chambers and not done theoretically.

Three questions.
One month.

(Or more? Who knows… Or less?
Nah. I will give it a month!)

You with me in exploring this?

Read More

Do what it takes.

May 17, 2019
/ / /

Stop, he said. Don’t come dragging that old story again, just do what it takes. We can spend our time together talking about petty things, things you know full well how to get done, or… we can spend it on that which would really provide value for you. It’s your choice. What do you choose?

Once again, coach Dave gave me the mental slap in the face I needed to shake out of a limiting belief I’d been holding on to for a couple of months. Like a mantra I’d been telling myself, over and over again, only a mantra that kept me small. Kept me a victim. Kept me in a passive state of mind, which definitely did not help me make either of the two choices.

It didn’t help me do what I needed to get done, and it didn’t open me up for working on the other stuff either, the dream, the enticing and alluring idea I’d cracked a few weeks earlier in another conversation with him.

He’s good at it.
Keeping me large, that’s what he does.
Holds me to my inner Goddess, to the fierce and powerful Amazon warrior within.

Mirroring for me what that Helena is all about, what I am capable of, when I own It. When I own Me. Owning that powerful-beyond-measure that is the light within, and letting it shine, shine, shine! Doing what it takes. 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson

Read More

Content.

May 3, 2019
/ / /

Make the most of your created content… or so I read. And hear. Over and over again.
Realizing, I definitely do not.

I have, to date, 1692 blog posts over at my (nowadays solely) Swedish blog, and with this post published, 497 blog posts here. In a little while I will do my 184th Facebook live, recorded in as many days. Not even counting 2374 Instagram posts, there’s quite a lot of content I’ve created that I could/should do something more with.

I have recently started Doing Gentle with an Edge, my podcast where I read blog posts from my Doing Gentle-series, as well as reflections. That’s one way to reuse my original content, in a way that makes me happy. But surely there’s so much more I could do with everything I’ve done these past years?

Ebooks?
Transcribe some of my lives and turn them into blog posts?
Make lives (more deliberately) on the topic of blog posts I’ve written?
Pick out quotes from my writings, mount on value-adding (in one way or another) images and post on Instagram?
Start a Pinterest-account and post them there as well?
Be more deliberate in how I post and cross-post on social media in general, and Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram in particular?

And that’s just ”my content”, which is but a part of what I do/am capable of doing. Just writing this, I get a bunch of other ideas.

However. What I notice more than anything is that what is lacking in how I make the most of my content, as well as of my skills, is deliberateness.

I am an upholder.
When I say I will blog daily, I do.
When I start doing daily lives on Facebook, I do them.
When I say I will do something, it takes a lot for me not to follow through.
But… have I honestly asked myself what’s my Why behind doing what I am doing?
And if so – have I followed it up with the How in the form of actions? In turn, followed by What the actions of my How’s turn into?

No.
Have not.
Not all the way through the Golden Circle of Why – How – What.

Deliberateness, you read, and perhaps think That sounds so boring, and, somehow, almost manipulative, doesn’t it?

Well. To tell you the truth – no. Not to me. Where I am at right now, in an ongoing transformation of my business, it sounds anything but boring. It sounds outright enticing! I mean… what if I sat down, with pen and paper, and got deep into the question of What want’s to happen here/now? Perhaps I would stop blogging and live:ing daily? Perhaps I would do it even more often? Perhaps I would stop altogether? Who knows!

And… given how many ideas I am getting just from writing this, what if I hook my newfound friend deliberateness up with a hefty dose of focus? What might be possible then?

Read More

I let go of my desperation.

May 2, 2019
/ / /

I am a wildfire at the moment, connecting and asking for help to find new participants for my 60 hours tankespjärn-retreat on May 8-10, 2019. With a slightly desperate tone to it, flitting from task to task, all the while breathing shallowly… Until I had a chat with my fellow Supercoach Academy attendee of 2014, Martin Croft, that I haven’t talked to in a couple of years. I stumbled upon his name on LinkedIn, reached out, and 24 hours later we were chatting away.

As I was sharing what I was up to with Martin, I voiced my concern for the cancellations I’d gotten for the first round of 60 hours tankespjärn, resulting in a small number of participants. He asked how many. I replied.

Then he looked at me and asked: What’s the problem with there being only three participants?

Bam!
With that one question, I spotted my thoughts and the truth I’d built around the number of participants for my pilot. And just like that… I let go of my desperation.

It will be. With three. With ten.
Regardless. It will be.

And… all is well in the world.
And… I am still a wildfire, connecting and putting my new concept out into the public domain.
Only now, without the desperation (within), making all the difference in the world.

Read More

The note from heaven (book 4 of 12)

April 28, 2019
/ /
in Tip
/

“[…] getting closer to authentic expression, deeper into the music. Away from the ego, into the soul. Finding balance between the chaos of feelings and the dictates of the intellect. Disappearing somewhere between these two states, and growing from that place through the music.”

At the No Mind-festival in Ängsbacka the summer of 2018, I attended a workshop with Githa Ben-David on the note from heaven, and was enthralled. A roomful of people all singing on Aaarh, to their inner note from heaven (or at least aiming for it), for half an hour, that was energizing, let me tell you!

“That which touches the heart is never boring.
We come up against the same truth again and again. It is the essence that is important, not the story itself.”

Then I found out she’s married to Lars Muhl of The O Manuscript, this magnificent book-reading experience of mine, and was even more curious. So I bought her book: The note from heaven, by Githa Ben-David.

“When your light shines, you activate the light in others, and help them to remember that they are complete beings.

Anybody can shine! It is a matter of choice. If you wish to set your light free, then you need to unfold your wings. Let the wind carry you, and be prepared to land on both feet so you can fulfil your destiny on earth.”

I tried explaining to a few friends what The note from heaven is all about… and failed. I couldn’t find the words to explain or convey what this is all about. In short, it centers on the fact that everything is vibrations, truly e v e r y t h i n g. This means that with vibrations we can start to resonate, and dislodge, free, liberate, old memories and traumas, that stop us from shining our light into the world, shining fully as that which we are.

And this resonates enormously with me. It’s synchronicity in the making for me, as I stumble upon shine over and over again. It comes up, in conversations, in comments, in my dreams and the words I write and speak.

“When you find a form of expression that brings you joy, you will naturally wish to share it with other people This is a spiritual law: joy is like fire. When you pass it on and it is accepted, it spreads.”

Instead of trying to give this book the credit it deserves (besides the content and the essence of the story: The language. It is beautifully written!) when I fumble for words, I let the quotes speak for themselves. If they resonate with you, and you get curious about sound-healing, pick up the book!

“Open your arms so that you can contain as much light as possible. Receive everything that is given to you. The more you shine, the better you can serve the all. Pure energy flows like water, catches fire, spreads like love. It must be passed on. If you push it away, you lose it. If you hold on to it, it will be taken from you.” 

Shine on, you crazy diamond! Shine on.
And I, I will shine on right beside you.


The book I am blogging about is part of the book-reading challenge I’ve set for myself during 2019, to read and blog about 12 Swedish and 12 English books, one every other week, books that I already own.

Read More

Present to the nature of beauty.

April 25, 2019
/ / /

Yesterday.
They were not there.
Buds. Yes. Open flowers. No.

Today.
They are here.
In all their splendor.
Absolutely magnificent.

Taking it in?
Or missing out?

The nature of beauty.
The beauty of nature.

Whichever way you look at it; magnificence!

Some years ago I was – suddenly – present to the nature of beauty.
Present to the beauty of nature
.

As I took that walk, I was floored by awe.
Over. And. Over. Again.

Since then, this sensation is nearer to me.
I am here, more often than there.
Gratitude. For having been awakened to it all.

Close my eyes, and feel into it.
The cavity of my chest filled with absolute awareness.
From the bottom of my soul, from the depth of my every atom…
Awareness of all that is.
And love.
Love!

Read More

It is enough.

April 22, 2019
/ / /

I haven’t prioritized setting up a new page on my website for my new podcast Doing gentle with an edge and even forgot that I timed the releases, so I had forgotten until my eldest told me two new episodes were released today.

I need to…
I have to…
I must…

No. I don’t. Here, however, is what’s true for me, in this very moment: I want to make a page on this site for my podcast, and set up a post for each episode, with links to the most commonly used podcast players, as well as the actual texts that I am reading.

What more is true, in this very moment, is that I have not made this a priority. And I think that’s why thoughts like need to, have to, must pop up, pushing for this activity to be pushed up the ladder of priorities in life.

And.
No.

Not now.
I have other things with higher priority at the moment, and hence, it will wait. Until the time has come for this to be done. Until then, it’s not as if the episodes are not available. They are. I just might be getting a wee bit more traction if I was actively promoting each episode, that’s a given.

But again – there’s only so much I can give top prio to, and by accepting this fact, I am actually inching my way closer to a time when this will be done. If, on the other hand, I was busy beating myself up over the head for not getting this done that I should my energy is used unproductively and in no way in service to me. Nor to you. So I won’t.

Deep breath in… and out.

It is enough.


Find Doing Gentle with an Edge in a podplayer near you, or via these links:
iTunes https://apple.co/2uSd94d
Spotify https://spoti.fi/2G2XMuI 
Acast https://play.acast.com/s/doinggentlewithanedge?

Read More

How to relate to limits?

April 20, 2019
/ / /

How to relate to limits? My limits.
The boundaries that serve me versus the ones that stop my personal expansion as a human being.

A recent meeting that blew me out of the water, making me shatter my self-made box of limiting stories and beliefs. Writing about it. In that way that I write. Zoomed out and in at the same time, strangely impersonal yet enormously naked. I think? That’s how it feels to me. And that’s what matters, because, honestly, I have no idea what you pick up on, or not, how you react, or not. My style of writing is my style of writing.

So. Writing about it. Because that’s how I make sense of the world, of my world, how I learn and explore within myself. And yet. As I write, about this recent encounter, that has opened a new door to my universe, I cannot help but wonder… dare I? Dare I not dare?

To share or not to share, that is the question.

I’ve quite a few texts written that I’ve yet to share. Perhaps I will, perhaps I won’t.

Will these texts I am currently writing move in with these unpublished texts, or join the world in full view, with the rest of my 2000+ blog posts?

And no. I am not one to believe that I have to share everything. With everyone. Not anymore… I did. For a period around the turn of the millennia, that’s just what I did.

And at the same time, I find vulnerability in sharing what it’s like to be a human being in this day and age, is something I am drawn to. Regardless if I’m the one doing the sharing, or you.

What I’ve come to know is that when I share something completely raw to me, it’s not a good idea to share publicly. With close friends absolutely, friends whom I know will not sympathize but empathize. Once healing is underway and I’ve got a healthy distance to whatever caused my wound, my sharing might be of great help for others, besides for me. Because when my wounds are not open, raw and causing me acute pain, others do not have to manage me and my current state, but rather, can focus on what my sharing opened within themselves.

Yet. It’s as if I’ve yet to arrive, at whatever/where ever I am approaching. So I pause my writing and check my Facebook feed. Stumble across a post, on leaky boundaries vs clear ones. Baaam! Scroll at bit more, and come across yet another post, on baring ones’ soul while being a vessel for creativity. Putting oneself out there, to public display, not giving a hoot about the expectations of others. Swop tabs to LinkedIn, and slam dunk, post number three on being honest with what I feel and need, as opposed to interpretations and judgments, is right there in front of me.

Synchronicity in the making.
But what’s the message? Really, what am I being told here?

To share? To not share?

Somewhere… there’s still a nagging doubt within.
If I pick at it just a little, pick at the doubt, what I find behind it, is fear.
Fear of what a few select people might say or think.

So I pick at that just a little, pick at the fear, and what I find behind it… is…?

Me.
Belittling myself as well as those few select ones.

Now… how or who is that serving?

Read More