Once you’ve gotten aware that it’s an option to be gentle towards yourself, and after you’ve discovered the general tone of your inner dialogue – start to aim the awareness towards yourself. Pick up on when you belittle yourself. When you blame yourself for things that are not your fault. When you judge yourself for this, that or the other thing. When the harsh whipping voice of the inner dictator spins around within your mind, over and over again, hurting you with each turn, each twist, each whiplash.
Spot yourself judging yourself.
Calling yourself names.
Acknowledge that you spotted a piece of judgment, belittlement, name-calling. Just see it. And give thanks for that. For seeing it. For actually picking up on it. If you really want to make yourself prone to spotting the self-deprecating comments you give yourself, give yourself a hug. Actually, physically, put your arms around you, and hug yourself.
It’s a really good thing to be able to witness ones’ self and not punish yourself for what you witnessed. If you punish yourself, your willingness to bear witness on yourself diminishes. Makes perfect sense. Why should you become aware and learn to see yourself, if it only leads to even more punishment?