April 12, 2019
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It’s as if I’ve awakened, after a long hibernation.
Or perhaps, I truly was born again, born anew, on the bus to Sjöbo, listening to Arvo Pärt giving a commencement speech?

Something has shifted.

There is more energy.
More drive. More guts.
Courage. Clarity.

More more more…

Not in a sense of needing more; that Sisyphus-like struggle to push the rock up the hill, only to have it roll down to the bottom again. Endlessly striving, struggling. A hopeless mission of trying to fill a void, impossible to fill.

Not that type of more.

Rather, the type where it is simply more because I’ve released yet another layer of limits. Of boundaries that no longer serve me. Of protective coverings, put in place at a time when I was served by them. Kept in place, year upon year, decade upon decade, if nothing else but for the fact that other layers of protection were added on top. Layer upon layer.

Slowly. Throughout these past twenty years, one by one, I’ve dismantled them. Torn at them. Ripping them apart. Tossing them to the side. Letting yet older layers be exposed to light, making me ask: How does this particular layer serve me?

And when the answer is It doesn’t. Not anymore, I’ve learned to thank it. Filled with reverence for what it has done for me. Because at one time or another, this particular layer has done me a service. But the time has come to shed yet another layer, and when time’s up, time’s up. 

With grace and gratitude, I bid that which is no longer needed to keep me safe, strong and sheltered, fare-thee-well.
With curiosity and care, I turn to the next layer, ready to ask that very same question, starting all over again.
All the while, I rejoice in letting my light shine just a tad brighter than before. 


  1. Yvonne Bjerregaard April 12, 2019 10:08

    Som en lök, lager för lager (Ursäkta liknelsen, jag är ju trädgårdsnörd). Ja det är skönt att våga rensa bland alla regler och gränser som inte längre fyller nån funktion. Efteråt kan jag skratta åt mig själv för att jag hade tex ett förhållningssätt till nåt som jag kanske blivit fostrad till men som inte passar mig som individ.

  2. Charlotte April 12, 2019 16:22

    Jag brukar säga att personlig utveckling egentligen är personlighetsavveckling – skala löken som Yvonne säger. Och om något av de där lagren gör sig påmint igen, ja, då kan du ge en liten kärlekskram och säga… jag säger till om jag behöver dig igen. <3

    • Helena Roth April 19, 2019 21:32

      Jamen precis – personlighetsavveckling så att det där innersta kan skina igenom igen!

  3. Christine Lehtinen April 13, 2019 12:20

    Men jösses vad vackert! Jag blir så berörd och varm inombords. <3 Tack för dina vackra ord.


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