I should…

I should…

I should…

July 3, 2020
/ / /

It’s July.

(Already. How is it possible? Just the other day it was Easter, and before that Corona struck, and somehow, it’s been a year since I returned home from a week in Kenya. Amazing.)

I should be summarizing June based on my intention for the year (with my body in focus), but it will have to wait.

I should be heading to bed, actually…

(Tired.
That’s what I am.
Sitting on the sofa, yawning like crazy.
)

And yet.
Here I am.
Writing.

Because…
I haven’t written anything today.

Because…
I like having the blog post for tomorrow published automatically as I go about my morning routine, getting ready for the day.

Because…
once I’d eaten, tended the tomato plants in the garden, talked to friends about a fall event, I sat down to write after nine pm… only to realize I’d forgotten to send a weekly email to a client of mine, a very dear client of mine, so that’s what I did. Instead of writing. For me. 

But.
Perhaps because-ing myself is as bad as shoulding myself?
Or… perhaps shoulding myself isn’t bad at all? Except when I think it means I have to do something, and that I am bad, unworthy, a lazy no-good, if I don’t?

Perhaps because-ing myself isn’t bad either, as long as I don’t use it to avoid taking full responsibility for me, myself and I, and all the situations I put myself into?


#tankespjärn, for those who wish to discover. More. Other. New.

2 Comments

  1. Sara Modig July 4, 2020 00:00

    Spot on. It’s not in the words as much as it is in our approach to ourselves, acting or not those words. Thanks for putting the spotlight so clearly on it!

    Reply
  2. Charlotte Cronquist July 6, 2020 09:27

    Becausing – new word to me… and I’ve dealt more with the shoulds… and now I need to go inside and reflect on this. Thank you!

    Reply

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